“I get that,” Bea responded honestly. “Guess I’m just at a fucking loss or something, so thanks for the advice.” Whether she used it was another thing. Was it worth shaking up a friendship over? “You don’t need to do that just for me either, I can talk to her,” she added, because she really didn’t like the idea of other people doing things she should be doing. It wouldn’t be so hard if Leah weren’t in the infirmary, or so fucking close to having her kid that Bea felt like she had enough shit on her plate without Bea asking her if they were okay or not?
It felt desperate, like that woman that had to have validation. Bea wasn’t that woman. Fuck, it probably wasn’t anything anyways. Leah had a lot of shit going on and so did Bea, it was just how it was.
“I’ll figure it out,” she finished with a dismissive little gesture.
Fuck. She shouldn’t have said anything. “Or not,” she countered, looking at him even if he was looking anywhere but at her. “I can’t fucking tell you to your face that I don’t want to,” she told him. “Or, I guess that’s not really right, I can’t say that I haven’t thought about it.” She was digging herself a grave probably. The more she said the less she wanted to be standing across from him though, since she felt a little bit like an exposed nerve. It was conversations like this that kept her from anything more serious than a one night stand or flirting.
“Would have thought you’d have caught on with all the fucking flirting,” she admitted. It wasn’t really in character for her, but it wasn’t out of character either, she just wasn’t the type of woman that used flirting as a thing. Her attention was pulled from the conversation for a second when Ada pulled on her leash, probably because she saw some random squirrel or something. “God, this is fucking awkward,” she muttered as her attention came back from what Ada was doing.
She almost wished they could just move on to talking about their siblings, and not the random feelings, or whatever it was. “You’re fucking lucky,” she reiterated. “It’s like Vi is making up for years of not being around me by being extra nosy. But she always kind of was, so I should just fucking expect it.