When someone sounded so defeated when agreeing, Toby generally knew that it meant they were realizing that things weren't as bad as they wanted to believe. In this case, that was a very good thing. Silas didn't deserve to be blaming himself for everything. Toby knew, of course, that it would be a long process, convincing him that he wasn't at fault. But he'd do it. Not only was it his job, but Silas deserved it. He'd been blaming himself for things that weren't his fault for far, far too long. "I know it's hard to hear, Silas. But it's only hard to hear because I think deep down, you know it's true."
He paused for a moment, before adding, "and you know that they know it's true, too, I think." Or else it wouldn't be bothering him quite so much. People who wanted to be self-loathing wanted everyone else to hate them too. At least that's what they thought they wanted. "Now all that's left is to convince yourself to do it." Which, no doubt, would be the hard part.
"That's kind of my job, though," he mused with a bit of a laugh as he took the top off of his own beer and took a significantly smaller sip than Silas did."I understand that," he explained, "I do understand that you make mistakes but mistakes don't make you a bad person, Silas. They just make you a person. Now, all you need to do is take the next step and learn from them. You can get past this, Silas. I know you can." It was just a matter of convincing him of it. A lot of inner strength was just that; inner.
It was a little depressing that the fact that Silas had "never been wanted" didn't come as a surprise. Toby knew a part of that feeling rather well; his father's hatred of him was cripplingly depressing when he was younger, as was the way the Sergeant blamed Toby for his brother's death. He was quiet for a moment, before taking a drink and shaking off the irritation of not being able to separate business from personal things. "But that's not the case. They don't just tolerate you. They care about you. They're not your dad or your mom. They're your friends, and your loved ones. And they deserve a little more credit than that, don't you think? Friends don't mind 'carrying things around' like that. It's just what they're for."
He nodded. "I know," he agreed. "But these people aren't them. Think of the people you're talking about, Silas. Regan and Brandon are fiercely loyal, and Rae? I don't know the last time I've seen a woman quite so deeply in love with someone." He paused, then added, "blood doesn't make family. The feeling of trust does. The feeling of safety and the want to be around someone no matter what that entails makes family." That was his story and he was sticking to it. "So maybe it's time to stop thinking of your blood relatives as family and start redefining that. Because it sounds like they're the family you really need. The ones who can pull you onto a better path." He tipped his bottle Silas' way in a pointing gesture and then took another drink.
Toby gave Silas a smile and shrugged a shoulder. "Think about it. Do you think they'd be there for you if they wanted to be anywhere else?" He shook his head. "It's not your issue. Not your issue alone, anyway. It's your issue to deal with, with the people who love you. That's the point I've been trying to make here." He smiled a little.