“I’m thankful she hasn’t,” Silas shot back, raising his eyebrows when Rae warned that he’d created a new game with EJ. “Isn’t that just the kind of shit people do with kids?” he asked, trying to keep the uncertainty out of his tone, and for once managing pretty successfully. He’d always seen people do cutesy things like that with kids, so he figured he was okay doing it, he hadn’t meant to start something. And he was probably over-thinking the whole thing. He mouthed the word Lilja after Rae said it, trying to recall if he’d heard it before and trying to figure out what it was, completely missing the ‘we’ statement for a couple of seconds until his brain had caught up. “Figure you’ll get most of it, since you’re the parent,” he said with a shrug. “But I got your back when he starts being a real handful.” He was in it with her, no doubt about that now.
Pushing his free hand through his hair, Silas nodded. “I was Chris through most of school. ‘Til I got to high school and started going by Silas,” he told her, biting back the reminder that he’d told her this before. “And I was Topher to my gran. Gran-dad was the only one that called me Christopher all the time.” It’d been a while since they’d had the conversation about his name, so he chalked it up to little details getting lost through the cracks. “Hell, I only started using Silas ‘cause I thought it sounded tough, and I liked it better than Christopher. Even thought about going by my middle name for a while.” Coping mechanism rang through his ears. He knew a thing or two about those, but of course Rae knew that. “Hell babe, you already look young, if you did that to your hair it’d probably look like I was robbing the fucking cradle,” he told her seriously.
In reality there was barely a handful of years between the two of them, but he liked Rae the way she was. She was perfect to him.
“I’d bet money or all my cigarettes on the fact that he was the ‘good cop’ when he and Stone were still uniform wearing,” Silas agreed. “I mean, he’s tough as shit, but…” he trailed off, hoping Rae could fill in the rest. She was well enough acquainted with Regan to understand his personality. “Like a pane of glass,” he confirmed. She wasn’t wrong, it seemed like the way he and his friends worked things out was by cussing at each other and brawling, and he usually only did heart-to-hearts when there was literally no other approach to a situation. It wasn’t even that it made him that uncomfortable, it just wasn’t what they did. But he didn’t like that conversation had switched Rae’s reactions to something he could only think was insecurity, but over what?
The city. It had been almost a year since he’d seen NYC, and the idea of taking the motorcycle in and showing her some of the places he used to haunt and seeing some of hers was tempting. Even if they were ravaged by the infected or the government. “Think I’d really like that,” he told her. “Even if it means going into the Bronx,” he tacked on, squeezing her waist briefly. “I hate driving in the Bronx.” For no other reason than personal preference. But that was where Rae’s old place was, so he’d willingly make a concession.
He swallowed thickly at the Elliot comparison. He was more than okay with hearing the name because he’d been a part of Rae’s history, but being compared to the man was something else entirely. Elliot had been Rae’s first love, near as he could tell, so it didn’t feel like he was worthy of being an equal to the dead medic. “Dunno about that,” he muttered to himself. “You bring all the damn sweet outta me, babe,” he added more loudly.
At her agreement and subsequent move towards the door Silas followed close on her heels, cringing when she stumbled, but hesitating to close his fingers around her upper arm. Pride was a funny thing, and he didn’t know if Rae would want him to make a big deal about it. “Hey, take it as slow as you need to,” he murmured, stepping up closer behind her and shifting EJ’s weight to his other side.
“The parties still gonna be there whether it takes five or ten minutes to get back.” There was no way he could carry her back, since he had EJ too, and even with the enhanced strength that would still be a juggling act he wasn’t really ready to tackle.