Jeremiah 'Miah' Ford (recklessnature) wrote in immune_ic, @ 2013-02-07 16:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2013 [02] february, jace, miah |
WHO: Miah and Jace.
WHAT: Talking, thinking and indulging way too much.
WHERE: The Four Horsemen
WHEN: February 7th, 2020 :: Evening
RATING: Medium, maybe.
CHALLENGE: Gluttony vs. Temperance
Everything felt like it had been picked up and tipped on its head. Miah didn’t entirely know what was up from down, and he felt lost, or confused. Things felt strained and wrong, like a rift was torn through everything. Nobody knew how to navigate any of this, the emotions involved were overwhelming for everyone, and he was left helpless, as Ellie seemed to be shutting him out, or maybe shutting everyone out, he didn’t know. What he did know was that he didn’t like this or the thoughts that raced through his mind. Ones of ‘maybe she doesn’t need me.’ to ‘maybe I should leave.’ that last one came up more often than he would ever admit to anyone. He wasn’t running, no, he was avoiding. If I leave before being left, it won’t hurt as much. It would still hurt. Miah couldn’t deny that, but maybe it wouldn’t leave such a gapping hole in him. Shaking his head, he sighed. You can’t leave. He might entertain the thought, might want to go through with it to avoid being eliminated from Ellie’s life, but it wasn’t in his character to run. No, it was in his character to medicate, to escape the pain by drifting into oblivion. He wasn’t proud of what he had done, but when things had become too much to handle he had gone to the infirmary, claiming a migraine. The woman on shift at the time wasn’t a doctor, wasn’t even a medic, just a volunteer filling a gap. When she had asked him what he used to take, he had rattled off oxycocet without even blinking. She had given him half a bottle, which wasn’t their practice, but he had given her a miserable look and she had caved. Now he held the tiny bottle in his hand, staring at it as he sat at the far end of the bar, minutes away from heading into his corner to do a set. Maybe feeling numb is what you need. Wasn’t that how he used to escape? Glancing down the bar, he spotted Jace, motioning to the other man. “Hey,” Miah gave one last look at the medicine bottle before tucking it back into his pocket. Later.. “Could you give me a glass of whatever is the strongest stuff you’ve got back there?” |