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!email, !gossip girl, bridget hughes, cole pendragon, dalila burton, daniel carver, eveline rivers, fernando luca, harrison wright, james killison, jared master, jessica mcfadden, judicaël roche, louiza pyreal, nathan coventon, omorose burton, penelope mckenna, stella fortina, tai yang hua

GOSSIP GIRL
From: "Gossip Girl" ggidris@idris.edu
To: "Aamani Nagris" anagris@idris.edu, "Bridget Hughes" bhughes@idris.edu, "Cole Pendragon" cpendragon@idris.edu, "Dafne Battista" dbattista@idris.edu, "Dalila Burton" dburton@idris.edu, "Daniel Carver" dcarver@idris.edu, "Eveline Rivers" erivers@idris.edu, "Fernando Luca" fluca@idris.edu, "Gryffyn Henderson" ghenderson@idris.edu, "Harrison Wright" hwright@idris.edu, "Jared Master" jmaster@idris.edu, "James Killison" jkillison@idris.edu, "Jessica McFadden" jmcfadden@idris.edu, "Judicaël Roche" jroche@idris.edu, "Louiza Pyreal" lpyreal@idris.edu, "Marcelo Luca" mluca@idris.edu, "Nathan Coventon" ncoventon@idris.edu, "Omorose Burton" oburton@idris.edu, "Penelope McKenna" pmckenna@idris.edu, "Sakura Ishikawa" sishikawa@idris.edu, "Stella Fortina" sfortina@idris.edu, "Tai Yang Hua" thua@idris.com, "Tyler Blythe" tblythe@idris.edu,
Date: April 27th, 2011
Subject: Gossip Girl, Bitches

Idris! It’s been so long since my busy schedule has allowed me to provide you with the fact and fodder you all are so hungry for. Fear not, my faithful readers, below is an extensive list of everything no one is supposed to know.

ANNND a dainty clap to all of you! As many of you know I have a stunning history of weaving fabulous stories you wish you had actually participated in, but after this past Spring Break, I have no need! I have so many juicy tales which are as authentic as Penisdragon’s crustacean invasion. Speaking of which, all of the ladies of Idris should be relieved to know after an extensive scrubbing, he's free. I know, it is a very big relief to hear, isn't it HBIC?

Many of my fans have written in asking what sort of antics I get up to during the holidays, particularly this scandalous Spring Break, but only a tramp would kiss and tell. Which is why I expect Watery Tart has been quite so tight lipped about her Dutch cohorts. Too many mouths to mention for such a classy girl. Huge Red wasn’t nearly so lucky, but it’s likely she was too blitzed to know the difference.

Which, I expect, will be Bitch Boy’s excuse when some member of authority, possibly HBIC herself, finds out what sort of hanky panky he oversaw. Beyond the underage drinking he both partook in and encouraged, Bitch Boy stood tall and proud as a best man at the wedding of our very own Blow Harder and Wool Picker. Not to disappoint his hoard of male followers, but it seems official that the suspected closet case is hitched with a woman. Though, considering Wool Picker’s delightful personality, she is just as likely a beard. You may rest easy, Queenie.

Though, I would be concerned that The Puppeteer is getting a little jealous of your wrist work after the show. Just a tip from one queen to another!

Our tubby twins, Fake O and Lollypop were spotted about the queen’s backyard, and while Fake O did not have a chance to further exemplify her namesake, Lollypop hoped to replace The Over-Compensator and promptly decided any Brit would do (and I can’t say I disagree). He, on the other hand, had nearly impossible standards for his Spring Flings: primarily, Be Female.

Best friends seemed to think alike this Spring as the third and final member of Team Disaster, Balloony did not break the streak and loosed all of her rage on the unsuspecting men of California. Who ever could imagine why she was so upset? Sparky better keep an eye on her brothers with this particular minx on the prowl. Though, my sources tell me she is a little too distracted with last week’s nuptials to pay too much attention.

Manly discovered his poor withered thumb over Spring Break, so it was a wonder our own little Sour Flower didn’t lend him another hand. Instead, she experienced the juxtaposition of our world of today, Trouser Snake as her guide. They are an unlikely couple, but if Spring Break has taught us anything, it is that anyone will do. Even the slow girl from the hut.

And with that, I must go! Always a pleasure!

xoxo,
Your Gossip Girl