Well folks, Wankfest submissions are due in seventeen days -- about two and a half weeks. We hope you're all getting your wank on, and come April 16, our modly in box is flooded with virtual splooge. In the mean time, how about a bit of fun to get us warmed up?
Poll #1267 Wankmistress RG's Wankfest Poll the First
Open to: All, results viewable to: All
Which Character Was the Most Habitual Wanker During Canon?
Albus Dumbledore
6 (13.6%)
Argus Filch 5 (11.4%)
Bill Weasley 4 (9.1%)
Charlie Weasley 7 (15.9%)
Cho Chang 1 (2.3%)
Draco Malfoy 14 (31.8%)
Dudley Dursley 7 (15.9%)
Fred Weasley 12 (27.3%)
George Weasley 12 (27.3%)
Gilderoy Lockhart 13 (29.5%)
Ginny Weasley 5 (11.4%)
Harry Potter 16 (36.4%)
Hermione Granger 3 (6.8%)
Kingsley Shacklebolt 0 (0.0%)
Lord Voldemort 2 (4.5%)
Which Character Was the Most Habitual Wanker, Continued
Lucius Malfoy 0 (0.0%)
Luna Lovegood 6 (12.0%)
Minerva McGonagall 2 (4.0%)
Narcissa Malfoy 3 (6.0%)
Neville Longbottom 3 (6.0%)
Nymphadora Tonks 5 (10.0%)
Pansy Parkinson 4 (8.0%)
Percy Weasley 10 (20.0%)
Pomona Sprout 0 (0.0%)
Remus Lupin 7 (14.0%)
Ron Weasley 15 (30.0%)
Rubeus Hagrid 5 (10.0%)
Severus Snape 16 (32.0%)
Sirius Black 22 (44.0%)
Viktor Krum 1 (2.0%)
They wanked so often because...
wizards are (in)famous for their magically enhanced sex drives 7 (11.7%)
they had to deal with [insert other character(s) from the list] 10 (16.7%)
one word: hormones 18 (30.0%)
it's the best way to deal with stress 23 (38.3%)
it's the best way to deal with unrequited love 11 (18.3%)
it's the best way to deal with free time 23 (38.3%)
they were too busy/repressed/unpopular to get laid 14 (23.3%)
they were strongly devoted to a life of learning... about ALL things 2 (3.3%)
they wanted to know if it really would make you go blind/get harry palms 2 (3.3%)
they were just a WANKER! 17 (28.3%)
some other reason (do tell us in comments!) 4 (6.7%)