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Tweak says, "LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS"

springsmutfairy (springsmutfairy) wrote in hp_springsmut,
@ 2008-03-01 18:00:00

Entry tags:

fic, het, james/lily, james/peter, remus/sirius, sirius/james, sirius/lily, slash

Happy Springsmut, a_merry_chase!
Author: marseverlasting
Recipient: a_merry_chase
Title: All Narrow Jealousies
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): James/Lily/Sirius/Remus/Peter (various permutations of)
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: When Lily discovers she's pregnant, a carefully balanced dynamic begins to unravel between the one she loves, the other one she loves, the other one she loves, and the other one she loves. A fractal portrait of five people in one relationship.
Warnings: sex and angst and epic amounts of fluff
Word Count: ~13,500
Author's Notes: So many thanks to my Dylan Thomas, for inspiration, hand-holding, and general perfection.

( All Narrow Jealousies )

(Post a new comment)

unbroken_halo
2008-03-03 04:41 am UTC (link)

Gods... this fic nearly killed me. I just don't know how to tell you that I clicked on it on a whim, was blown away completely and still have it make any kind of sense.

This is just so freaking punch to the gut, twist til it hurts beautiful. They were all so innocently happy, just the heartache of knowing what's coming and gods... they were all so fucking YOUNG. Magnificently well written and beautifully paced. Bravo, mystery author! I can't wait to see who you are.

I'm going to rec this on my journal because a story this fantastic just has to be passed on.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	zootallures 2008-04-07 04:16 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much! I'm really happy you liked it, catching it even on a whim :D And thank you for the rec!! - Alex (marseverlasting from LJ!) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	a_merry_chase 2008-03-03 05:15 am UTC (link)
	Just in case you check here first, oh most beautiful of beautiful mystery writers, here is my (quite possibly raving) LJ response to your offering. Which I'm still flailing over. loves (Reply to this)

	mindabbles 2008-03-04 07:18 am UTC (link)
	This is really wonderful. The emotions are so raw and well done. The way you wove the growing pains of this group with the growing war was excellent. I loved you Sirius - him being in love with everybody, was lovely and just right. Well, well done! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zootallures 2008-04-07 04:17 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much for the comment, I'm glad you liked it :] - Alex (marseverlasting from LJ!) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ships_harry 2008-03-18 08:05 am UTC (link)
	Oh, man. That was amazing, heartbreaking, wonderful. I loved it, and I'm really curious for the reveal on this one. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zootallures 2008-04-07 04:17 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much!! And, ta-da, here I am :D - Alex (marseverlasting from LJ!) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ships_harry 2008-04-07 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	Wah, I went and stalked you on LJ and can't find a fic directory :(. Have you much else online? I recognise your default icon, so I'm sure I've seen you either posting or commenting somewhere :). (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zootallures 2008-04-07 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	On Lj, my fanfic account is magnus_leo :) I try and keep my RL journal separate from fanfic as I have some people who Don't Know on my flist. Also, I've definitely seen you around too! hpslashnotsmut I think? (Reply to this) (Parent)

snegurochka_lee
2008-04-02 05:54 pm UTC (link)

Okaaaay, holy Jesus. That was fabulous, and one of the best opening sequences of any fic I've ever read, I think. The back and forth between the tub and the J/S? a;lskgj. GIANT A;LKSJDGLJ. I love infidelity fic so much, and when I saw your grouping/pairings here I thought it was going to be all some consensual arrangement where they all fuck Lily, which would have been fine, for sure, but I love it so much more that there were secrets and lies and misunderstandings about who was doing the fucking, and with whom, although then the secrets turned out to be not so much secretive, and even then: a;slkgj.

You know what was hot, btw? The Sirius/Lily that we don't see. I mean, see graphically. But that one moment between them is so insanely powerful! I love that he takes his shirt off, and then that's all she can think about, his physical beauty. I love that she has to emphasise that no, really, she doesn't know who the father is. The implications of that, the visions it immediately invokes of hot, sweaty sex with James and then with Sirius maybe the very same afternoon, so close that she really, really doesn't know, it just. al;skjg. SO MUCH hotter than any description of it could have been, if that makes sense.

The J/S? Um, yeah. Hi. *picks up self from puddle on floor*

The R/S? Oh, Remus. I loved drunk!Remus, pleading with Sirius not to think he's boring.

And also? Handsome!Peter. How brave of you to go there! I loved that. I tend to think Peter is icky, myself, but that's because of the way he's always described. I totally bought your description of him. I also liked that whole sequence, with the two sides of the scene in the bathroom/bedroom: the R/S and then back to the J/P.

And I love that even with the way the pairings even out at the end, and leave Peter as the odd man out (--cough--canon--cough--even the R/S-cough), it's the James/Sirius that comes across as the most lasting and meaningful, the one that always had the most emotion behind it and the least chance for success.

Lastly, before I embarrass myself further with the flaily comment, this?

"Sure," Sirius says, pulling on his jeans, fag dangling from his lips like Bogart. The boys slap hands lazily and, Sirius pinching his cigarette between thumb and forefinger, bump lips in a final half-kiss. Sirius grabs his keys from the kitchen drawer and tugs his jacket over bare skin, a comfy brown-leather RAF surplus that Remus bought him last year. James watches Sirius pull out of the driveway, giving him a short wave goodbye.

- is pure gorgeousness of writing, the sort of thing they should teach in writing classes, really, the way tiny details like the fag and the half-kiss and the slapping hand draw both these characters in such vivid detail. A;SDKGJ.

Shutting up now. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

zootallures
2008-04-07 04:22 pm UTC (link)

Oh holy wow, thank you for such an amazing comment! And I've gotta say, I was madly madly in love with you fic at springsmut so I was really happy to see your comment :D

But, yes! Though it might sound awful, I love adultery too so I'm glad I'm not alone :D Also, I've got such a passion for untold backstory so I'm really happy you liked that :]

Again, thanks so much for such a wonderful comment :D You've made my day!

- Alex (marseverlasting on LJ)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	snegurochka_lee 2008-04-19 02:56 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, hello! lol, yes, we left each other lovely, squeeing comments, didn't we? :) I'd love to read more of your stuff, although after stalking your LJ a little bit, I can't find any. :( Do you have a fic archive anywhere? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ariadneelda 2008-04-05 07:42 am UTC (link)
	Loved this! Loved how they were all living together but it was complicated and all the relationships were kind of fucked up, actually. And then they had to split and everyone go their own way, and the hurt, and Lily not being sure who the father was (OMG that!). Loved it all. Great fic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zootallures 2008-04-07 04:23 pm UTC (link)
	Aw, aw, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it :] (Reply to this) (Parent)