The Dungeons

Sluggy!

We never figured you for a joker.

But 4000 Galleons? Best laugh we've had all month (ignoring yesterday, of course).

( F&G )

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Weasley's Wizard Wheezes - Ask us how to sneak our products past your parents and teachers! Or, ask us how we're teaching the kids to sneak our products past you!

I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. Merlin, I'm jittery. I should go and sit on the sofa before I wake Luna.

Just a run, yeah? Like I always do, something is just off with me tonight. It was like the forest was breathing, but that's nonsense, I'm just over-tired. It'll pass if I can just calm down, yeah? Merlin, I know. I didn't eat dinner, just came in and fell in to bed. Right, that's enough to tie a stomach into knots.

(And then there was Wednesday.)

Merlin. Right, so much for sleep.

Dear Messrs Weasley,

I wish indeed that I was as jocular as you. However, 4,000Gal is quite reasonable considering I waived the venue fee. That would have been another 2,000Gal.

I understand entirely, of course. 4,000Gal is a shocking figure to have to disburse all at once. After all, it's enough to feed all of Wizarding Britain for an entire day!

We have a number of options, of course. We could implement an installment plan, or Hogwarts could sue to garnish your profits until the sum is collected. Unless you wish Hogwarts to require the children to pay for their meals out of their pocket money? I should have to write the parents of course, and make it quite clear to everyone why Hogwarts finds itself unable to feed their children. This is effectively raising their school fees for the rest of the year, you understand. I suppose an announcement in the Daily Prophet is unavoidable. Terribly embarrassing, you understand. We usually have better management of our supplies, but we currently need to restock the home farm given how even the smallest lettuce and leanest cockerel were sacrificed to the assembled appetites on Wednesday.

I do hope we can resolve this quickly, as the students are already loudly protesting the lack of variety in their meals. The staff are more forbearing.

Yours sincerely,

Horace Slughorn
Deputy Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry