I liked this very much, and I'm not a big femme slash fan. I love the consideration of Marietta's insecurities, from her jinx-poxed skin, to her relationship with her mother and her view of Muggles and their world. Her concern for Cho is touching, as is her adolescent heartache over being abandoned.
I liked Millicent's unspoken protectiveness and the natural progression of their relationship. From attraction to understanding to affection to a very tender passion. I adored their first time, so true to form. We have to imagine their future, but canon would seem to portend more than possible happiness and that makes me glad. Very well done!