I loved this! Snape/Filch FTW, and I loved that the Queen of Sheba got the whole "head of household" business wrong! The book snippets are so great, and femme!Argus's voice is perfection! His logic, his efforts, his conclusions, his interpretation of Madam Button's wise suggestions, his PHRASING -- and that trio of thoughts is priceless. Love how perfectly you bring out the potential for snark, fun, and rough sex that this pairing entails. <3
And it's a true bonfire of great lines. Such as:
--Argus Filch awoke on the morning of March 21, 1982 a married man, although he did not know it yet. --the only orgasm he'd had with company in three years and the best he'd had in four. --In the meantime, we need to establish some ground rules before we're sacked for fornicating in front of the students.” --Secret weddings were the done thing in the books, after all, and he was hardly going to prove himself a worthy husband by wagging his tongue all over the castle --“Are those for Professor Flitwick? Because if so, he knows perfectly well that having someone else check out the books still counts towards his hundred-volume limit.” --as Filch did his level best to bugger him right through wall. --glancing about as though only now noticing that he was naked and in the bath with Argus sitting on the edge of the tub. --Upon reflection, Severus suspected he might be drunk. --Filch squeezed his foot gently and moved on to the other one, and Severus flunked Joshua Bones with a small smile on his lips.
Thank you for the only ray of sunlight on a dreary Monday morning. And what a bright one it is!