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Bellatrix Isabelle Black Lestrange ([info]darkest_belle) wrote in [info]houseofgaunt,
@ 2008-09-13 19:22:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:barty crouch jr, bellatrix lestrange

Who: Bella and Barty
What: After her fight with Rod she has no where else left to go, no one else she trusts.
Where: Barty's place.
When: Shortly after this
Rating: Mild.
Status: Closed/Complete.





Bella leaned against the wall, her hands drawn up the sleeves of the sweatshirt she wore and the hood was pulled down over her eyes, hiding the red that filled them as the tears refused to stop falling. Rabastan's door stood in front of her, taunting her and whispering to her to tell him. To go to him and tell him what happened and let him deal with it. And a part of her wanted to. Next to Rodolphus he was the only one she really trusted completely.

Look at what Rodolphus did to you. Look at the pain your ignoring, both physically and mentally. He did that to you, whats to say that Rabastan wouldn't turn on you as well?

She winced at the voice that echoed hollowly in her head and she knew it to be right. She couldn't trust him either. Closing her eyes she disapparated with a silent pop. Bella only had one place left to go. She didn't have very many friends in this world or people she could trust but outside of Rodolphus and Rabastan there was only one other. Her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stared up at his home, wondering how things had come to this point.

Bella hated herself for what had happened. Hated that things had come to this. But most of all she was terrified that this was the end of things. She didn't know how to fix them after this, didn't know if they could be fixed and she couldn't handle that thought. Slowly she made her way up the sidewalk and stepped onto the porch, her vision blurring as the tears started to fall once more, the despair she had been trying to keep at bay creeping up on her quickly.

It took her several tries before she was able to raise her hand and knock on the door. She prayed that Barty was home and that he wouldn't turn her away. She didn't know what else to do if that happened. Silently she waited, hoping her last friend would still be there for her.



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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 07:48 pm UTC (link)
Barty was sitting at home alone, that was typically only what he did. He wanted to be around others, but it seemed as though all of the others couldn't be trusted. He had betrayed his calling and now he was left with the sort of hollowness he had experienced without a soul. There were very few people in the world that Barty would ever count on. He just sat there idly, tapping his foot against the ground while he sat on the couch. He was reflecting on his meeting with Gellert.

He heard the faint knock and rose. He was dressed quite casually considering. His clothes weren't what they normally were, but anyone who knew where his house was couldn't really mind. In fact, there was only 1. He ran to the door quickly, he knew that this couldn't be good. Not at this hour. It wasn't like Bella.

He got to the door and opened it quickly. Bella looked horrible. He didn't like this situation, not at all.

"Bella, get in here. Don't say anything just yet. You look bad, and I can only imagine why you would call on me."

Barty lead her into the living room. He lifted his wand for a tray with some chamomile tea on it. The relaxation could do her good. It was very obvious that something was seriously wrong, but he didn't want to heal her wounds yet. He needed her to be calm to do that, and she was in no state for that right now.

"Tell me what happened when you're ready. Relax for now."

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 08:09 pm UTC (link)
Even if Barty had given the opprotunity to speak she didn't think she would have been able to. Instead she just kept her gaze on the floor, hoping that it would hide the tears she couldn't stop but knew that it wouldn't work for long.

Quietly she followed him into his house, curling up on the end of the couch as far from him as she could get. Images kept flashing in her mind, the way his hands felt on her, the anger behind his words, the fury in the way he had touched her. It only caused the gaping hole inside of her to grow bigger.

Reaching out she took the cup from him, trying to keep as much space between them as possible. She stared down into the cup for a while, the hood of her shirt hiding her face from view as she watched her tears fall into her tea.

Her mouth opened and closed several times as she attempted to try and tell him what had happened, tried to tell him why she had no where else to go but the words failed so she closed her mouth once more and continued to stare at the brown liquid, wishing a hole would just open in the ground and swallow her whole.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 08:34 pm UTC (link)
Barty hadn't worried more than he was now. The fact was, Bella was the person he always ran to if he needed, so in a way, he was happy that she did the same with him. But the fact remained that something had happened. He felt horrible, but the truth was he couldn't help until things were settled. He did not want to make things worse.

"Bella, you can stay here as long as you need. I have no idea what has made it to where you must be here, but the fact is my home is open to you. You may use my bedroom, I typically don't use it anyway."

Barty was a bit happy to have a visitor, though he wished it had been in a better state. He wanted to understand, but he hadn't ever been attacked. And that's exactly what it looked like. It appeared as though she was attacked by some wild man. And that just wasn't something that Barty would forget very easily.

"If this was someone that you did not know, let me know what he looked like and I will find him. You of all people know I would make him pay."

He hadn't a clue who would WANT to do this. It's not the sort of thing that was natural.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 08:49 pm UTC (link)
She glanced up at him at his words, still not able to see fully through the tears.

"I never meant for things to get this bad," her words were but a whisper as she glanced away from him once more, not able to hold it together. Gods it hurt, much more than anything else that had ever happened between them before. Her first instinct was still to go to Rodolphus, to have him make everything better, but how can you have the one person who makes everything better for you do so when he's the one who made things even worse.

Her eyes slipped closed once more as the tears fell faster and she set the cup down, her hands shaking so badly that she couldn't hold onto it any longer.

"I-we were fighting. I never thought he would be capable of something like this, not with me. I don't think I can fix this." She buried her face in her hands as she tried not to let it all get to her but she couldn't help it. This was not something she knew how to handle. Bella had never been the victim before. Even when she had been with the Muggles she had never been the victim, but this? This made her into just that and she didn't know how to fix that, how to move on from that.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 09:03 pm UTC (link)
Barty wanted to help. But he didn't know how bad things were. In a way, he wanted to know, but there was a part of him that he simply didn't know how. He wasn't used to wanting to help. He wasn't that sort of man, not until now. Seeing Bella so upset was just something he couldn't have prepared for.

"Fix it or not, you have a place to go. I will keep you safe, so you no longer have the worry of being hurt above your head," Barty said, as he sipped his own tea. His eyes were fixed on Bella, the worry was likely so evident because it was new for him. So new that it was a strange feeling that his body didn't know how to understand.

There was likely only two people Barty could see Bella argue with. He stumbled with his thoughts a moment before he had the nerve to ask. "Was it Rod? Or was it Julian? I do not need details, but if you wish to talk I will always lend my ear. You know you can count on me, and please do not be sorry that you came here."

Barty stood and walked by the window. The way Bella looked right now to him showed him that he may be a bit too close. And perhaps it would be better had he not been there. Depending on her answer, he may get a bit angry and in this state, he didn't know if Bella could handle it.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 09:12 pm UTC (link)
"I'm so tired of hurting him. I've tried not to, time and time again. I tried to be a better person, tried to make things better but it didn't help. I crossed too far over that line this time..." Her words cut off as the tears made it so that she couldn't speak any longer. She curled up further on her end of the couch, drawing her knees into her chest as she wrapped her arms around them, trying to make herself appear as small as possible.

Maybe if she disappeared it would all be better. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt as much as it did. She didn't think this was the end of it though. It really hadn't set in yet what he had done to her. That he had ra-her mind cut off that word, refusing to name it as it was. Rodolphus would never do that to her, ever.

"In all the years we've been together, gone through everything we have, I never thought he would ever hurt me. Or that he would go so far in his anger." She pressed her face against her knees as she tried to control the tremors racing through her body but her mind wouldn't cooperate. All she could see was the look of anger on his face and all she could feel was the pain that had come from his touch.

"Gods I fucked up so badly. I never meant for things to get so bad. I never meant to hurt him like this..."

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 09:34 pm UTC (link)
Barty figured it out. It had to be Rod. Julian was off doing something, so it was likely that Bella wouldn't be arguing with him. It was just so strange. Bella was the strongest woman he knew. She seemed torn, in a way that Barty hadn't ever seen. He didn't know what it was like to feel that way. Neither of his lives had given him any sort of answer for this. None at all.

"Bella things happen. And from the looks of you, he was also one to cross the line. You are in a horrible state that I doubt anything that you have done could have deserved this sort of punishment." Barty was trying his best to keep calm. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was Bella being hurt. He didn't like it and he wouldn't stand for it. He loved her as though she was his family, and nobody was going to hurt her and get away with it.

"Whether you hurt him or not, you have been hurt also. Like I told you before, if you need to sleep, my bedroom is up the stairs. Second door from the left. But if you want, I could heal those for you." Barty walked over to her slowly, his wand in his hand. He wasn't trying to hurt her, but he knew that she may cringe at the sight of a man.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 10:00 pm UTC (link)
A short bark of laughter cut through her tears for a moment as suddenly the whole situation became funny to her.

"You didn't cheat on your husband with two other men. I deserve it for what I did to him. For constantly screwing up as I have."

Suddenly it became too hot for her to handle and she felt as those the walls were closing in on her. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't handle it all. Quickly she grabbed the ends of the shirt she wore and pulled it off over her head, leaving her in the flimsy tank top she had thrown on underneath it. The perfect finger print bruises his hands had left on her arms stood out drastically against her pale skin but she paid no mind to them, they were just another mark on her body like all the others.

She caught his movement out of the corner of her eye, watched his wand appear in his hand and the panic took over once more. The pain that had followed after Rodolphus had had his wand flared through her and she scrambled back on the couch, trying to get away from him, trying to keep him from getting closer and hurting her.

"Please, I'm sorry. Just stop. I'm begging you, please don't do this to me Rodolphus. I never meant to hurt you love..." her words fell in a mumbled heap from her lips, lost in her own thoughts she didn't even realize that it was Barty there with her and not Rodolphus. The only thing she knew at that moment was the pain that she couldn't stop.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 10:12 pm UTC (link)
Barty felt dumb-founded. He didn't know what to do now. He was trying, but somehow in his mind it felt like failure. It was something he hadn't ever felt before, but it was something that needed to fix. He stooped down to her, trying his best to speak as honestly as he could.

"Bella, please, look at me. It's me, Barty. I wouldn't ever hurt you. Infact, I was going to heal you. Now please, calm down. You can not continue on like this."

He sat there just staring at her. He couldn't understand what he had done, but he knew one thing, he wasn't going to leave her like this. She needed to be calm, not this way. He wanted to help but right now he had to calm her. The insanity wasn't normal for Bella. Barty motioned his wand towards the kitchen. Bella was going to need something stronger. The firewhiskey sat there untouched, but now it was going to get it's use.

"Here, no more tea. This is stronger. It may help your nerves. Once you are calm, I'll heal you."

Barty sat down on the floor to Bella. This way she may understand a bit better that things were alright now. He wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Especially not now.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Bella was too far gone in her own thoughts to even notice him any more, the whole scene playing out in her mind once more. She cringed at the flick of his wand, a whimper escaped from her lips then as she sank further into her memories, the fear and panic as well as the pain now etched firmly on her face as his words washed over her and she lost herself in the anger and violence he had shown to her.

"Rodolphus please....don't." Tears slipped down her cheeks once more even though her eyes were glazed over and unseeing, her body moving away from Barty once more as he moved into her line of vision, the begs and pleas for him to stop, for him not to hurt her any longer fell from her lips unchecked as she cowered back against the couch.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 10:35 pm UTC (link)
Barty couldn't think any longer. The way Bella was hurt him, he wanted her to be okay, but he just wasn't good with this sort of thing. In his head he kept asking himself what he should do. He didn't know how to handle anyone who was this upset. It wasn't like he ever had to console anyone before. Anyone he had hurt beforehand had deserved it, so he had no feelings whatsoever.

"Okay, now, I'm going to do this simply because it seems best. If you don't want me to, hit me or something."

Barty stood on his knees and hugged Bella. He hadn't meant anything by it. Bella was a beautiful woman, but he didn't want her like that. He hadn't ever, she was his family, as far as he was concerned. She was always there for him and it wasn't like he was going to abandon her now. Whatever had happened had been so great that any man scared her, and the last thing she needed was to think that Barty was out to hurt her.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Her eyes slipped closed as the memory continued to run through her head on repeat, the same question coming with each time.

Why? Why would he do that to her? Why would he rape her? She froze at thought, a whole new wave of hysteria washed over her as the word ran on repeat through her head.

Rape. Rodolphus had actually raped her. She crumbled under that thought, her face pressing against Barty's chest as he hugged her, her sobs echoing loudly as she broke. Her husband, the one man she loved above all others and had sacrificed everything for, had raped her.

"Why? Why would he do this to me? I love him. Why would he ra-" her mouth clamped shut as she refused to say the word out loud. Her hands fisted in his shirt as her body shook with her sobs and she crumbled even further.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-13 11:40 pm UTC (link)
While not being a genius, Barty was smart enough to know what Bella was going to say. Knowing her as he did, he knew he didn't have to rape Bella. Bella was his and that was how it always had been. He was gone and Bella found someone else. Had he been able to handle himself it never would've happened.

"He is a fool, Bella. I know you enough to know that he hadn't needed to do anything. You just calm down now."

Barty held her tightly to his chest. This was what he should've done in this first place, but he didn't know. He knew very little about women and knew deep down that this was what he was supposed to do. If only his mind worked correctly.

"Or perhaps he simply was not thinking. Men do tend to do that. Save for me. I think because I must."

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-13 11:50 pm UTC (link)
"Why?" She asked softly, unable to say anymore after that. She knew she wasn't the best person in the world. That she had done things most people would see her dead over, but to do that to her? And for Rodolphus to be the one to do it? She just shook her head as the tears fell faster, soaking into the front of his shirt.

"I never thought he would ever take things that far. We've fought before, on numerous occasions but never once has he ever not stopped when I asked him to. I went above and beyond asking this time. I all but begged him to stop and he didn't.

"And I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what to do with us. Gods I love him, but I don't know how to handle this."

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 12:34 am UTC (link)
Barty didn't have an answer. He didn't know how to answer because the situation was something he had never experienced. He never loved anyone, not like this. This man hurt her and yet Bella still loved him. It hurt him more than he could explain, and he didn't know why. He never had any sort of connection. Even his father he hated, so family wasn't even normal for him. But he held it all in, Bella needed him now and he was going to be there.

"I don't know how to help, all I know is my roof is open to you. You will be able to stay here as long as you need. You know this home as much as I do, so there will not be a problem. My bedroom will be yours, since I don't use it anyway. Everything in here is yours until you are ready, or simply until you know what to do. Don't worry, Bella, I'm here for you."

Barty smiled a bit to himself. He had felt accomplished in a way that he hadn't ever felt before. he was feeling compassion. He hadn't ever felt he was capable until now. But now that he knew he was, he wasn't going to let it go. He was going to do whatever it took to get Bella feeling better. Even if it took all night.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 12:45 am UTC (link)
"I'm sorry," she said quietly as she pulled away from him, wrapping her arms around her frame once there was enough room between them to do so.

"I didn't mean to bring all of this to you, or to cry all over you and be an emotional sot. I just....I didn't know where else to go. I don't have anyone else I trust."

She stared past him at some random point on the wall, trying to get her thoughts calm and in order but it was beyond her ability to do so now. They raged out of control and the harder she tried the worse it got.

"What am I going to do?" She asked softly, not really expecting nor needing an answer. "I should hate him for this, for doing this to me, but Merlin help me I can't."

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 01:08 am UTC (link)
Barty felt horrible. There simply weren't enough words in his language that could help and right now he knew that. He knew that words couldn't make this any better.He didn't even think he wanted to. Right now what he needed to do was be a friend. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

"You don't need to figure that out now. You have a place to stay and you're safe. You know me, you know I'm not the sort who usually cares, but right now I do. I want you to be safe."

He was doing quite well, considering. This was the first time he'd ever tried to be nice to anyone, and he was doing a better job than he thought allowed. He felt proud of himself, but the pride was masked by all the hurt in seeing Bella in this state.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 01:33 am UTC (link)
She smiled at him as best she could but she knew it came out as a grimace more than anything else.

"Your good a friend Barty, I appreciate it, more than you could ever know. I just-" she paused for a moment as she glanced at him, her vision still blurry from the tears that clung to her lashes.

"Do me a favour? Don't tell anyone I'm here. I...don't want to have to deal with any of them. Not Rodolphus or Rabastan. All I want is to be left alone so I can try and figure this all out.

"Promise me you won't say anything to either of them if they ask if you know where I'm at."

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 01:43 am UTC (link)
Barty returned Bella's smile. He was feeling good about the whole situation. He was someone who he knew she could turn to, and now he was feeling more like a person who could be friends with people. In his past, alot of his friendships were obligations, but this one was going to last.

"You do not need to fear, Bella. As I said before, you are here because you need my help. So I will aid you in every way possible. Nobody will know you are here. I will simply act as though I am alone in the home as I have always been."

Barty took his wand back out slowly. He laid it down at his feet before he was going to do anything. He needed to explain to her what he was going to do before he did it. He couldn't risk her running off like this. This wasn't a state that any woman should be outside and alone in.

"May I heal you? I won't do anything you don't want, but some of those look nasty. I think it may be best if we heal those before you drift to sleep. And don't forget to drink, it's firewhiskey. It's strong enough for you to forget enough to be able to sleep. Merlin knows you need it."

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 01:54 am UTC (link)
Slowly she glanced down at her arms, her left hand coming up and a finger trailed across the bruises that circled her right arm. Pain came with the touch but it wasn't from her touch. He had hurt her, physically. Rodolphus had never done that before. In all the years never once had he laid a hand on her or raised a hand to her. And yet in one night, in nothing more than a couple of hours, if that, he had done that and so much more.

A part of her died inside, the part that had trusted him above all others, trusted him to never betray or hurt her died with that one realization. The evidence of what he was capable of was painted across her skin in purple splotches.

She turned her head away, her eyes slipping closed once more as new tears slid down her face and she nodded once at Barty, indicating that she wasn't going to freak out or try to run this time if he picked up his wand.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 02:12 am UTC (link)
The whole situation had Barty feeling so many different emotions at one time he simply couldn't do anything. He was speaking but it was as though the words weren't coming from him. He felt like he was staring down at himself and Bella and could only hear the speaking by listening closely.

Barty leaned down and picked up his wand. He reached out and took Bella's hand in his own. He lifted his wand and noticed the scars on her arms. They weren't new like the others. No, that one had been there for awhile. He had decided against asking about it for the moment. Healing Bella quickly may be easier.

He said a few spells under his breath and the bruises faded away. He felt horrible that he couldn't do the same for her feelings, but that would've been foolish. Not to mention simply stupid because the pain would remain if anyone brought it up.

"Now then, that looks far better. Do you need a pain potion? Incase there is some things I can't heal?"

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 02:24 am UTC (link)
"No," she said quietly as she wrapped her arms around herself once more and curled up further on the couch. She could live with the pain. It would fade, it all faded at some point. And at the moment she didn't want it to go. As sick as it may have sounded it was all she had left of Rodolphus at that moment and she was going to hold onto everything she could for she feared there would be no going back from this.

Bella lowered her head down to rest on top of her folded arms as she let the numbness wash over, grateful that it was slowly ebbing out the hysteria she had been feeling since it had all started. She couldn't deal with this. She wasn't mean to deal with this.

Never was she ever supposed to have been the victim and yet there she was as just that.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 02:29 am UTC (link)
There was something very obvious about this situation. Neither of them really knew what they were doing in it. And Barty was realizing this as the night progressed. Barty played victim in his first life, but in all honestly he doubted he ever had. He never felt like that, nor had he ever been hurt in the way that could hurt for his whole life.

"I'm sorry about this, Bella. I'd take it away if that were possible. Are you hungry? You look famished and I do not wish for you to be sick in that way. I doubt a potion could help that, but if you aren't hungry I have a nausea potion, as well."

Barty sat down on the couch again. Him being so thin had it's downfalls, and the floors hardness was bothering him in a way that it wouldn't if he had more weight on his bones. But the couch worked, and he would be closer if Bella needed anything more from him than he had given. He was willing to do whatever it took to get her feeling more like herself. No matter how many men she had slept with, the fact remained that she didn't deserve this. Hell, he didn't know any woman that he would wish this on.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 02:37 am UTC (link)
"I know you would, and at the moment that means more to me than you'll ever understand." Sighing she turned her head a bit so that she could see him properly, the exhaustion for the whole situation finally catching up with her and suddenly she had the intense urge to sleep.

"Not really, no. The thought of food is enough to make me nauseous all on its own. If I'm honest, all I really want to do is lay down for a while and try not to think about it all. I know denial is not something you should indulge in, but at the moment, I want it to be my best fucking friend."

And it was true. All she really wanted to do was just lay down, close her eyes and be. But she knew that wouldn't happen. She knew that the moment she lay down and closed her eyes that the nightmares and the dreams would be waiting for her. Worse than they normally were now that they had new food to feed off of. But it didn't matter. Just like all the others, she would get used to these ones as well.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 02:57 am UTC (link)
Barty smiled and said, "Are you certain? This place is much more homey than it was before we had done everything. The bed is in satin, which is likely the only different thing. I don't know why I did that." Which was completely true. He didn't know why he changed his sheets so often. He never laid in that bed. He slept on the couch, which was comfortable enough for him.

"And sleep is a good thing right now. And you know where I'll be if you require anything. There is nothing in this house that you can not use. The shower is also right down the hall from the bedroom, so shower if you need it." Barty was feeling a bit happy to have a guest but wished it wasn't under this sort of circumstances.

Barty rose first, in case Bella needed help, "Don't forget, I am here for you."

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 03:04 am UTC (link)
"I'm sure," She said quietly as she sat up straight, wincing as the muscles in her back pulled harshly when she stretched and made to stand up.

"I know, and I do appreciate it Barty, truly I do."

Wincing once more as she stood up and her muscles pulled uncomfortably she headed for the stairs, pausing for a moment at the bottom of them before turning to face her friend once more.

"I-can you do me a favour?"

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 03:14 am UTC (link)
He simply smiled again. He noticed a difference in her moods. It was nice, to finally see some sort of relaxation although Barty knew her mind was reeling. How could it not be?

"Of course. Anything you need I am here for you."

Barty rose, too. He didn't know what this would be. But he would do it. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Bella.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 03:25 am UTC (link)
She ran her hand over the banister for a moment as she tried to think of the best way to phrase her request.

"Whatever you may hear tonight, regardless of what it is, leave me alone. Please. I...its not going to be easy and I know that but please, leave me alone."

Bella knew it was going to be a long night and that she most likely wouldn't sleep. But if she did, she knew it wouldn't be long before the dreams started followed by her screams. She was used to dealing with it by now, but that was not something she wanted Barty to witness. Period.

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[info]soulreturned
2008-09-14 03:37 am UTC (link)
That whole sentence worried Barty, but he knew better than to do anything. He would check in on her in the morning. Tonight she needed to be alone, and deep down he understood that.

"Alright, Bella. In the morning I will check in on you, though. There is no stopping that. I will leave you be, as you wish, because I do believe that that is what you need."

Barty tried to keep his face in one that didn't look like he was worried, but he doubted it was working very well. He'd do his best, but the fact was he was worried now. He didn't know if sleep would come to him or not, but he hoped it would. At least then he'd hear nothing and not have to constantly be scared that Bella was in more pain than she was letting on.

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[info]darkest_belle
2008-09-14 03:50 am UTC (link)
"Thank you," she said quietly before turning and around and heading up the stairs slowly, not bothering to look back once as the wall she had barely managed to erect came crumbling down with every step she took.

It was going to be a very long night. She just hoped she had it in her to make it through it in one piece.

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