herself_nyc (herself_nyc) wrote in herself_nyc_fic, @ 2007-09-30 21:21:00 |
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She was picking through her jewelry box in order to avoid looking at Faith. "I need to write a note to my mom. Will you keep it quiet today that you know I'm gone?"
"I don't know you're gone ..." Faith said, her voice silky. She got slowly out of bed. Buffy could see her in the dresser mirror. As she'd guessed, Faith was naked. She sauntered slowly across to the door. " ... so I'm not gonna offer to kiss you goodbye."
"Did you leave a note for your Mum this time?"
"It took me two hours to write. And it was still no good."
"You can ring her when we stop. It'll be all right."
"I know." All right. Nothing is ever going to be all right.
The car windows were blacked over, so there was nothing to look at but Spike himself, driving with his chin thrust out, lip curled in a satisfied smirk, one hand drumming on the wheel, the other draped across the back seat, tapping along with the blaring radio. He could barely contain himselfwhen she'd knocked on his motel room door a couple of scant hours after she'd left him, saying that she'd changed her mind, that she was ready to go away with him, he'd roused out of his daytime drowse at once, and wouldn't hear of waiting for nightfall, even when she said she wanted to sleep, even when she asked him first to make love to her. "You can sleep in the car, an' we'll fuck all we like when we're well away from here."
The car's interior was hot, even with her window cracked. She stared at the clasp of the glove compartment, trying not to sweat, thinking about the letter she'd written to her mother, in which she'd tried to explain that she couldn't go through the motions of being a minor child anymore, after all she'd done, but that she would always love her and hope to be forgiven. Thinking also about what Giles and her friends would say about her when they realized she'd skipped town ... again. At least this time there was Faith, who would do the job that used to be hers. Faith was the real slayer now, after allshe, Buffy, was an extra one.
She, Buffy, had been dead and maybe that was the source of all the trouble.
If only she could split herself in two. One to stay and playact the old Buffy, and one to rush away into this other worldtowards, she couldn't help feelingsome other death.
One way or the other, she thought, the shadow of death was on her. This wildnessloving Angel, leaving home, then this ongoing collision with Spikecouldn't end any other way.
Spike's cool hand curled around her nape. "Thought you were sleepy, sweet. Can turn off the music if you like."
"It doesn't matter."
He turned the volume down. "Sit closer."
She let him gather her in, let her head drop against his shoulder. A thrill of sadness, desire, excitement raced through her, amped her up, whenever he touched her. She kept her hands curled in her lap, against the sharp urge to slide them up under his shirt.
"Where are we?"
"In the desert."
She imagined it, miles of yellowy sere emptiness stretched out on either side of the infinite road the DeSoto tore along. The sun baking it all, no shade anywhere. "Maybe we should've waited until it was dark."
"Used to this, drivin' all day in the open. Been doin' it long as there's been cars."
"It feels chancey, that's all."
"Since when do you shy off of chancey?" He brought her hand up to his mouth, kissed the back of it, and the palm. "We're all right, we are."
"I want us to be."
"Why'd you decide today would be the day, Miss Anne?"
She thought of telling him the truth, that in Sunnydale he was in danger. But since she couldn't tell the whole truth of what was in her heart, what was stirring her around inside with a ceaseless sick churn, she said, "I was tired of hiding you, and what I was doing. I thought it would be better this way."
"You thought right." He snatched her close for a kiss, hard and breathless. He didn't slow, and didn't swerve, and she realized that he was practised at this too. He'd keep the car on the road straight as a die even if she took his cock out and sucked him off. He was in his element.
She was in it with him.
Again.
For a little while longer.
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