InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I will hack into your mind"

Heidi Petrelli (notmadeofglass) wrote in heroic_essence,
@ 2008-10-18 19:09:00

Entry tags:

heidi petrelli, nathan petrelli

Who: Heidi and Nathan Petrelli
What: It all comes crashing down . . .
Where: The Petrelli home in Hyde Park
When: Saturday evening
Rating: TBD
Status: Started

She hated it. She hated every little thing about what was going on, but there was nothing she could do to change it. No matter how hard she tried, nothing ever went right. He wasn't putting any effort into trying to fix things, no matter how many pretty words he gave or how many excuses he tried to placate her with. Nathan wasn't invested in their marriage, or in their family, and it was tearing Heidi apart. Ever since the accident, her life had steadily gotten worse, and nothing she could do would ever make it get any better . . . not as long as she tried to keep this marriage going. She had told him once before; warned him that she was unhappy, and that there would be consequences if he chose to ignore her any more than he already had. His trip to Las Vegas had only placed more strain on their relationship, and ever since his return she had barely spoken to him. What was there to say? He hadn't even seen fit to warn her that he was going, let alone try and act like he cared what she thought.

He was late, still at the office, and Heidi didn't expect him to notice when he did get home. Sighing to herself, she finished packing her things and set the bags down on the bed. The boys were already packed and ready, and she'd phoned ahead of time to her parents to let them know they were coming. Swallowing heavily, Heidi Petrelli wheeled herself over to the table, on which a packet of papers were settled. They were already signed and notarized by her and her own lawyer . . . all that waited was Nathan's signature, and she would be out.

All that was needed was Nathan.

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aleaderwillrise
2008-10-18 08:58 pm UTC (link)

Alright, so he was late. It wasn't like he and Heidi had anything planned - at least not anything that couldn't get bumped back. It's not like she was going anywhere. He wouldn't realize the irony in his logic until he walked through the door and saw both his sons seated solemnly on the couch. That alone was weird. They were usually bouncing off the walls or stirring up mischief somewhere: typical boys, both of them. But not today. Today they looked like someone had come along and stolen the last cookie. At first he thought maybe they were in trouble. They were kids, after all. Heidi was nowhere in sight. This could be a form of timeout: having to sit still anywhere in the house until he got home to deal with the fallout.

"What's going on?" Gaze shifted back and forth between the two as he waited for an answer that didn't come as quickly as he would've liked after such a long day. When he did finally get a response, it hadn't been the one he was expecting. - "We don't want to go, daddy. We want to stay with you." - A heavy frown creased its way across his forehead as he stepped forward and knelt down in front of them. "What are you talking about? No one's going anywhere. Who told you that?" As soon as the question slipped out, he knew the answer. Neither of them had to say another word. "Where's your mom?"

Slow, heavy steps carried him into their bedroom where Heidi sat, bags all packed and strewn out across the bed.

"So this is it: you're leaving me?" He should've seen it coming. They'd been unhappy for awhile, but he refused to accept it. Or rather he'd refused to accept that they couldn't change what was happening. In his eyes, he had been trying. Apparently it wasn't enough. And while he admittedly could've tried harder, he hadn't thought she'd really go through with it - that she'd take the kids and go. He still believed that he was in this election for his family: to improve their lives, and he'd become blind-sighted to all the problems that had nothing to do with the campaign. But not right now. She had his full attention, and he finally became aware of how serious this was.

"You can't. I need you." Not just to maintain his image. He needed his family's support, even if that came with a whole lot of fighting. In life, you had to take the bad with the good. It was a reality he'd long come to terms with. She hadn't. She'd never seemed to get that. And the thought of not being able to come home to his sons every day ( whether they were already in bed or not ) ... it broke his heart.

"What did Peter tell you?" What if his brother hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut? If she'd found out about Niki ... or Claire, it would explain her sudden urge to bolt. Really, it wasn't that sudden. She'd wanted to leave for awhile, but it was easier to think that something external, something other than his own negligence had led to the decimation of their marriage.

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tragic_heroes
2008-10-29 10:13 am UTC (link)

She'd been mentally preparing herself all day for the moment that just happened--Nathan walking in the door, confronting and questioning. Heidi knew it was going to be difficult to see him and go through with this, but she'd made up her mind. Stiffening her lower lip, she raised her chin in silent defense at his familiar accusatory tone. Even when Nathan meant well, he managed to make it sound like it was someone else's fault, usually your own. But this time, it was his. No matter how much, how bad, her being the one leaving might look. She had to--had to rescue herself.

Finally. That would've been a good word. Finally aware. But didn't he realize that sometimes 'finally' was too late after the fact? This was one of those cases, and even though Heidi's heart broke again inside when he said that he needed her, she gripped the handles of her wheelchair tight and stayed firm on her decision. She'd heard all these things from him before. Stay with me, Heidi, stay strong. We're doing this together. We're going to make a change. Well, she could see his vision of the world more clearly now--and 'we' had nothing to do with that. Maybe he'd open his eyes when everyone was gone from around him and see it clearly, too. The world that he had shaped through his decisions.

"And I need this," Heidi answered, not without compassion, though she didn't want him to glean hope from that--it would only make it harder for both of them, "Or I'm going to fall apart. And the boys need a mother." With her eyes turned cold, the last was a bit of a jab. He never talked to her anymore, let her be miserable, and even though it hadn't quite caught on to the kids yet, it would. Their more innocent questions of when they'd get to play with their father again would become something else. She'd so much rather sever the ties now than let them slowly realize their dad was never going to have enough time for them.

Her incredulous expression was quite clear on her face because of her surprise at even needing it. She thought she'd heard everything, after all. "What? Nathan--this isn't about Peter, it's about us." Or the lack thereof. Just perfect. She was leaving him and he was trying to find some way to shuck this off on his sweet younger brother. "Maybe someday you'll see where it went wrong," she added, softer, "And I wish you the best of my love and luck on that day." The silent 'until then' was as she laid her hand importantly on the documents on the table nearby. Divorce papers. He would have to sign them to make it official; and don't think she hadn't wondered if he'd refuse and, really, that was the most childish thing of all. Fighting for this marriage now was too little, too late. She thought she might stay here until she'd seen him do it, but now she wasn't so sure anymore.

"... You can wheel me to the door," she offered, her gaze dropping to the the floor and off to the side. She was done. No more discussion.

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aleaderwillrise
2008-10-29 01:35 pm UTC (link)

"They also need a father." Unfortunately, he knew what her response would more than likely be. He wasn't around, so it was already like they didn't have one even though they all lived under the same roof. He disagreed. He still spent time with them. They knew he cared: that he was there for them even if he did stay busy a lot. But if Heidi left ... if they went through with the divorce, who knows if he'd ever see them again - if she would even let him. Who's to say that what she needed wasn't a clean break? That would require her cutting him entirely out of her life. After all, that's what this was all about: what she wanted, to hell with everyone else. Guess she'd finally decided to take a page from his book, and it admittedly stung. He just wished if she was going to do this, that she'd done it sooner. It still would've hurt, but at least then he could've blamed the fallout on the accident.

She didn't understand his question about Peter, how he had anything to do with this, so it was safe to assume she knew nothing about what happened in Vegas or Claire. She just wanted out.

One challenging brow raised when she brought his attention to the divorce papers - as if he was going to sign them right here and now. If nothing else, sheer stubbornness kept him from complying to her silent request. And despite her wishing him love and luck and all that other phony crap, his expression hardened ... perhaps to overcompensate for what was going on inside. Inside his heart was breaking, but he was too proud to show it. He was also too proud to beg her to stay in a marriage she didn't want. But he refused to ( literally ) help push her out the door. So when she offered to let him do just that, he replied coldly, "Wheel yourself out. I'm going to say goodbye to my kids."

She didn't want to talk anymore? Fine.

He carried the boys' bags to the door, then crouched down in front of them so they could exchange farewells. After giving each a hug and assuring them he would see them again real soon, he rigidly stood. A glance was shot over to Heidi, but he didn't say anything to her. Instead, he pivoted and left the room. She might be the one leaving, but he wasn't going to stand there and watch her walk away ( metaphorically speaking ). Maybe it seemed cruel or callous, but he was the one losing his family. She was gaining her long sought after freedom, and would undoubtedly take him for half of what he was worth right before election day. She couldn't possibly expect him to be happy about it.

She already thought he was this horrible, empty person who didn't care about his family, so why shouldn't he act accordingly? Either way, it was too late.

He didn't wait to hear the car pull away, and he didn't dare watch from any of the house's windows, because at the moment, he wouldn't be able to handle it. What he did was pour himself a drink, finish it, pour another, and do the same. Not the healthiest way to cope, but it worked better than crying. He'd never been big on the whole sensitivity thing, although the stinging around the rims of his eyes implied he was capable of at least tearing up. Drinking seemed simple, called for under the circumstances, and he had easy access to all the finest alcoholic beverages in a bottle you could imagine. He could afford it. All this fine wine and scotch shouldn't go to waste, and since there was no one else to share it with, he could help himself - which was exactly what he did.

After refilling his glass for the third time, he called Peter: another instinctual response.

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aleaderwillrise
2008-10-29 01:36 pm UTC (link)

Voicemail. Great.

He debated over whether he wanted to say anything or not. After a long deliberation, he decided to leave a message. "Peter, it's me. Something happened, and I didn't want you to hear about it from someone else instead of me." Word traveled fast: especially when a candidate running for Congress got left by his crippled wife. "Heidi left. She took the boys. She wants a divorce." A long pause followed, one that more than likely meant that he wanted to say something else, but couldn't. When he spoke again, he abruptly changed the subject."I'm canceling that dinner thing I asked you to come with me to tonight. There's something else I have to take care of." Another gap filled with nothing but silence before he solemnly added, "Take care, Pete. I love you."

Lids came to a momentary close as he snapped his cell phone shut, but it only remained that way temporarily. He soon made another call, this one much more ominous.

Once he got an answer from the other end of the line, he stated gruffly, "If you still want me to move against Linderman, we need to do it now." That man had cost him his wife, his kids, and his marriage. In some ways he'd even cost him his brother. This election was partly about achieving power ... making a difference ... but it was also about revenge. Working alongside Linderman had gotten him access to confidential information that could bring the former friend of their father's down. Then they would all be safe.

He could do this: this one last thing for Heidi - for his entire family. He could set them all free, but not without paying a price.

... Right now he was feeling particularly reckless, indifferent to the consequences that could result. He just needed it all to end. Heidi had let go. He needed to do the same, and this was the only way.

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