InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Well, bless yer li'l heart!"

Maggie Jones (mother_maggie) wrote in haunted_roads,
@ 2008-07-27 15:15:00

Entry tags:

bastian, maggie

Week Twelve: Wednesday
Who: Maggie and Bastian
When: Wednesday Night
Where: Barking Spider

Maggie was in the back, up to her elbows in suds as she worked her way through the last of a few odds and ends that needed to be cleaned before the evening could officially be called. A few knives, cutting boards... hand washing them kept her hands busy. Strains of music still made their way back to where she stood, the running water not even cutting off the butchering of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' that was currently going on. Maggie could only smile to that as maybe someone hadn't fully thought through their aspirations to follow in Queens' footsteps just yet. At least they had a passion for the song... even if it was entirely out of key.

And the keyboard they had brought in was just painful.

A towel was picked up and Maggie set to drying the last few items as the music finally came to an end. Open Mic night... you never knew what the proverbial cat was going to drag in and tonight it had been all sorts. Not that Maggie had been around for the whole evening but glad as she was to have the bar holding such nights again she'd had to stop by after her shift at the hospital. After work she had come she had managed to change out of the cheerful bear printed scrubs she wore while working... some how that just never seemed to work when she stepped foot in the bar. Instead she was clad in nothing more fancy then a pair of jeans and a simple scoop necked shirt that skimmed her figure.

It had already been near to closing when she arrived. Maggie had sent Jonathan on his way home assuring him that she could help close the place up and that she wouldn't take no for an answer. She did have her moments of stubbornness. A buss to his cheek and she'd made herself at home behind the bar, greeting regular customers but mostly just setting about tidying up and readying the bar for it's closure.

Hearing the music though... despite all the challenges life had thrown them over the past decade... always brought her back to another time. When she'd first met Bastian. The sound of his fingers working over the strings on the guitar as he worked out the chords that fit the melody in his head perfectly. It had been too long... felt like it had been too long since those days. And that was almost as painful as the reality of their lives now, complicated and uncertain.

But it was that simple thing missing that made it so much more difficult.

Maggie could hear the jingle of the door as the last few patrons begrudgingly made their way out. She hung the towel up and stepped out of the back and behind the bar. "Good night?" She asked, placing her palms flat on the counter behind her. "This place needs music, live music. Makes it..." her eyes closed briefly before opening them and looking over at Bastian. "alive again."

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better_days
2008-07-28 02:08 pm UTC (link)

The idea of an open mic night had been one of Bastian’s. Though he wasn’t exactly big on the crowds he knew the bar needed a bit of a pick me up. It needed a heavier flow, it needed the cash. All around it needed a bit more to it. The old man had been all for the idea and was quick to start telling patrons and working to get it all in order. For Bastian it was a nice distraction, to immerse himself in that familiar work and pretend nothing had changed. That was far from the case really…but sometimes all he had was that ability to pretend. Some days it was just too damned needed to deny.

More then one he’d been asked by regulars if he’d be taking the stage of sorts tonight. Bastian could only smile and shake his head. Tonight was for the customers, not for an old man and his guitar. They seemed to take that as answer enough but of course tried to get him to promise to play another time. Somehow Bastian always managed to dodge out of those promises. Truth was he hadn’t played in over eight years now…he wasn’t even sure he had that left in him anymore.

Part of him wasn’t willing to find out.

Tonight the bar was filled with patrons. The air was buzzing. The drinks flowing. Bastian came in the moment the sun went down and already the place had been more…lively then it normally was. The old man was grinning ear to ear…nothing at all seemed capable of spoiling that smile. Bastian didn’t want anything to. So he didn’t open his mouth to tell the old man what he needed to tell him. He hadn’t told any of them yet. The family was busy…everyone trying so hard to adjust. Fuck if he knew how to bring in another…change. Another confusing shocking thing to drop on all of them. It was too much, but he couldn’t just not tell them. It wasn’t right.

It was on his mind even as he worked through the night. Background as the music played on and new acts brought themselves upfront and center. A few comedians got the place laughing; a juggler got a few ohs and ahs. It was a strange bunch that showed up but no one was complaining. Everyone was there for a good time and that’s what they got. New customers and old customers alike.

It was a good night. A different night. And it took a bit of convincing to get the old man to go on home and turn in early. Much as he liked to protest even he knew he needed the rest. But he did linger to watch one last act and have a drink with a few friends. Letting Bastian and Maggie take over the place. Bastian was glad to have her there…but at the same time there was always that ingrained…paranoia in having her here at the bar. That worry of history repeating itself. He hated that it plagued him so. That he couldn’t just…really forget for awhile. But some things you just don’t forget. No matter how you try.

The music finally drew to a close and another half hour later everyone was finally starting to wander there way out of the bar with a bit of pushing from Bastian. It was already a bit past closing, time for everyone to head on home. The sooner they did the sooner he got to. At the door Bastian fastened the few locks before glancing back at Maggie, smiling softly at the sight of her. “Yeah, it was. Place needed it.” Not just the music, just the ease of the night. “Was…refreshing. Old man sure loved it.”

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mother_maggie
2008-08-01 05:42 pm UTC (link)

If it wasn't one thing... it was another? Wasn't that the phrase. Change was a constant right now. Maggie knew and accepted that fact. It had been too prevalent in her life for the past ten years for her not to. She knew she could rage at it and rally against it but in the end change would still occur and it was simply best to move with it and make the best of the situation.

Lately though, life had been testing her resolve of that theory. Fundamental changes to nearly everything she had ever thought or believed. She was doing the best that she could to keep up but she wasn't perfect. It was easier to handle though by the mere fact that Bastian had returned. Changed or not he was still present and that meant more to her than she could ever put into words.

Life was having it's moments. She knew things were not good, nor were they out of the woods... but things could be worse, Maggie was a firm believer in that. The bar, by appearances tonight, was doing better. It was at least open and had customers. Daren hadn't... well things had gone well in that respect, though Maggie still felt badly for the way it all had happened. Sophie was accepting of her father. Things could be far worse. Maybe she clung to that a bit much but it worked and helped her to appreciate what they did have.

Maggie looked out around the bar as she stepped into, people finally making their leave. Never a bad sign to have folks closing out a bar. She watched quietly as Bastian threw the locks on the doors before turning to face her. "Most definitely did." Maggie pushed her hands off the countertop and moving around the bar toward where he stood. "He loved it so much it was like pulling teeth to get him to head home." She added with a laugh before her features sobered and she reached a hand out for one of his. "Might have been what they needed but I'm not sure it was what you needed..." she said softly. "Was it hard? I haven't... have you even thought about music lately?" It had been such an integral part of him before. She wondered if the idea of it made the changes in him now harder or easier to accept.

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better_days
2008-08-01 11:48 pm UTC (link)

Lately it seemed to be that way. One thing after the next with not near enough time between to truly try to grasp what was already in front of them. Bastian still didn’t know how to feel about the arrival of his sister. It was still so…strange. To see her face again, to look at her and know that she had no idea who he even was. How do react to that? What do you even say? Bastian didn’t know anymore, but he knew that he had to let them know. To give them the chance to have this family member back too. He just worried about the old man. No…he worried for all of them really. It was a lot to try to absorb.

He’d kept quiet about it so far, but lately that seemed Bastian’s method of dealing. Keeping to himself a bit, not really talking about any of it. Most of the past he didn’t want to get into. He rather just…leave it to the past. Which wasn’t so easy to do when he had that past nagging at the back of his mind constantly. It was a reminder of just…how things weren’t alright. How bad they truly could become again…

Having his family made dealing with all of it easier. And at the same time harder still.

For Bastian the belief that it could always be worse was true…but he knew what that worse could be and had it looming over him always. It was difficult for that sentiment to really bring him any comfort. But he wouldn’t take it from the others. Everyone had their method of dealing and right now…everyone sort of had to let the others have it. Though often Bastian was found wanting to be around them even if they wanted some distance. He needed that visual reminder that they were there.

At the bar it was easier to pretend like nothing had changed. Though the bar had gone through some rough times the look was still pretty much the same. A little more worn around the edges maybe but overall little had changed. With the music in the bar it felt even more like that old bar Bastian remembered from his youth. People were smiling…happy…all having a good time. It was a bittersweet night for Bastian. He tried to not let it show. If the old man had noticed anything he left it be, which Bastian was thankful for. He needed to just enjoy the night, the old man had earned it.

“I was surprised you managed to get him out of here at all. He ignored me when I told him he should get some rest.” Bastian remarked with a slight shake of his head and a light laugh. Maggie could always be rather stubborn when she wanted to be and the old man knew better then to put up a fight against her for long. Bastian opened his mouth to comment about it being what his Dad needed but as she continued he let his mouth fall shut. He wasn’t sure how to answer that.

Bastian sighed, taking a seat and fishing out his pack of smokes to put one to his lips and light it. “Yeah, it was.” He finally admitted “Haven’t touched a guitar since before all this happened.” He wasn’t even sure the bitch knew he had any talent in it. He’d never mentioned it, not wanting it to be something else she took from him. Though in a way she had, now hadn’t she? “Not even sure I’d know how to play anymore.” Or that it would feel…off if he tried. “Least Sophie got some use from my old guitars.” he added, managing a slight smile at the thought.

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mother_maggie
2008-08-03 01:06 pm UTC (link)

Maggie knew that he was keeping things to himself, she could see it in the pensive lines of his face everyday. The way it seemed to just weigh on him a bit more than the day before. Perhaps she watched him a bit too closely but that fact truly couldn't be helped. The fact remained though that Maggie knew there were untold worries behind his eyes and she didn't like it. That said, she hadn't pressed. The want had been there, no mistaking that fact, but she'd exercised what self-control she had when it came to those she loved and held her tongue.

It was only a question of how long though, she certainly wasn't a saint when it came to such things but she did try and believe that he would speak when he was ready. Though looking at him sometimes... she worried that he wouldn't and whatever secrets he held would continue to eat him alive.

The evening at the bar though, it had been nice to see that lift from his shoulders. Even if she knew it was temporary. What was the adage... beggars couldn't be choosers. Maggie took ease anyway it came now. Just a few hours of normalcy, whether it was true or false, she wouldn't interrupt that for the world. But it couldn't last and as much as Maggie appreciated the reprieve she didn't want to live in a false reality. What she wanted was perhaps impossible but she had always been a stubborn woman and little would stop her from trying her best to make their world right once again. Whatever version of right she could obtain.

"Of course he ignored you... you're his son." Maggie replied with a soft laugh. "I did promise him an exceptionally good breakfast in the morning if he agreed to head back." She admitted with a shake of her head. She had no problem resorting to that sort of bribery if the situation called for it.

Maggie watched as her question settled in the air between them. Her eyes followed him as he sunk down into a chair and pulled out a cigarette. While she had never been a smoker, it was a familiar scent and had never bothered her. Well except for when Sophie did it but she was a mother and allowed that double standard. A sigh followed from her own lips as he admitted to the difficulty of it all. Her soft soled shoes were barely audible as she crossed over to where he sat. Maggie lifted a hand and set her finger tips through his hair gently. "I don't think anything could take that part of you away." She said her voice holding nothing but sincerity. A small smile worked its way over her features. "I think she's got more than some use out of them. Certainly got her talent from you."

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better_days
2008-08-04 12:24 am UTC (link)

For Bastian there was no certainty on when, if ever, he would be willing to speak about what happened. He often questioned the point of it, why verbalize the past that was better left as that? Why bring her into that reality? Maybe it was needed to get it off of his chest but as it stood..he rather keep that weight upon him then share it with the rest of them. The details weren’t anything he ever wanted them to have to visualize. He knew that she didn’t like it. He knew the old man didn’t either. But Bastian was thankful they didn’t push it. He wasn’t sure what good it would really do any of them to do so.

The best Bastian could was attempt to act as though he’d moved on from all of it. Sometimes he was even able to convince himself that he had. There were moments like now where he could act as though things were better and were going back to some sense of how it used to be. But hard as he tried he was never able to keep up that act for long. Eventually that past and those fears got the better of him. It had the ability to get the better of all of them.

No matter how bleak it could seem at times Bastian knew that Maggie was a stubborn woman that wouldn’t let herself stay to those thoughts. That was something he had always loved about her…it was something he still loved about her. Lately it was something he held to. A light in her that he kept such focus on in order to ensure he didn’t lose all hope. If he let himself become lost in the past and all that shit it held…he’d lose sight of what he did have in front of him. Something he didn’t want. Now and before Maggie helped to keep him focused…

From what he could tell she had helped the rest of the family with that as well. Especially the old man. “Ah see, have means of convincing him that I don’t.” What man could turn down a breakfast like that? Especially from Maggie. “Glad one of us has means of making him listen. Otherwise he’d be here all night and day.” Just like Bastian used to really. Not the point though. The old man needed his rest, especially now that he had the means to take some time for himself.

But likely John was sitting at home awake and working even now. Maybe even with a cigarette to his lips like Bastian that he shouldn’t be having. “I used to think that” Bastian spoke finally after a long pause. Once in his life he really thought that there were certain things that no one could ever take from him. Aspects of who he was that would never change. But he’d been taught how wrong he was. How…everything could be taken from you and twisted into something else. It….scared him still. Just…how wrong something could feel that once had been so right.

With a sigh of his own he pressed into that touch, eyes closing for just a moment even as he let a touch of a smile hold his lips at words of Sophie. “And is just as eager as I once was to get out there and explore it.” She’d become quiet the star…he was proud of what she’d done. Wary, as he knew that world, but proud still. “Hope she realizes she’s going to have her old man at all her shows now” or as many as he could get to. From what he’d seen so far she didn’t seem to mind but one never knew how long that would last. Especially with kids…even if she was not much of a kid anymore.

“Got a lot more then her playing to think about soon though huh?” not something he really wanted to face…that reality of just how old she was and how much he’d missed. But not liking it didn’t change it.

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mother_maggie
2008-08-04 01:07 am UTC (link)

They hadn't taken any vows. At least not any formal ones. But Maggie had always wanted to share everything with him. The good, the bad... it didn't matter. It was all part of the package and Maggie had never once thought that she didn't want everything that came with sharing her life with Bastian. But just as she wanted to be there to help him carry the burdens that life had dealt them.... she couldn't force it. Sharing was a voluntary act and to force it... only increased the burden.

Maggie didn't know what the secret was to actually working past all this. Was it possible? Perhaps not in the way one would think. Life was never going to go back to the way it had been. But it could go on still. Maggie always believed that not everything had changed and what had... wasn't always for the bad. Granted there were all too many aspects of it she couldn't even fully understand yet but she didn't need to... not with the faith she held.

Simple things meant more now and she wanted to make certain such things were never taken for granted again. Every moment they spent together mattered.

Maggie smiled softly. "Maybe it's not right to resort to omelet bribery but somehow I think I can live with that mark against me." If it worked, it worked. Not that she thought Jonathan was home resting by any stretch of the imagination. Hopefully he was sitting down at least, off his feet for a while. He wasn't Bastian's age anymore, he couldn't go forever. Though that thought held a great deal more... irony then it ever had before.

Maggie was quiet as he spoke, her hand stroking slowly through his hair. "And you don't now..." she said softly as she took a step closer and sunk down, so her eyes were level to his, knees touching his legs. Her hand never left him, just smoothed down his cheek to his jaw, thumb stroking as she looked up. "There is only one way to find out." She added simply though it wasn't that simple. Maggie knew. What if it wasn't the same. Would that be the straw that broke the camels back? She didn't want to know that either.

There would always be pride in Maggie's eyes when she thought of Sophie and her music. Well thought of Sophie in general. "I don't think she'll mind too much having you around. Me on the other hand... I do lack the same cool vibe." She said with a small crinkle of her eyes as she smiled. "I know she's eager and I'm glad that you'll be able to help her with it all." A guiding hand that you could trust in the business Sophie was so interested in... that was essential.

"A lot..." Maggie agreed with a slow nod of her head. "Life moves too fast sometimes. I don't think it's going to be pretty. At least not on my end. But I'll try and not be that mom." Even if she really would be, she'd do her best.

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better_days
2008-08-04 01:41 pm UTC (link)

Bastian understood the desire to want to share the good and the bad with someone. But at the same time there was that desire to protect. And that desire to protect her and all others from the truth was overwhelmingly strong within Bastian. Sometimes there were things you just didn’t say. Sometimes there were moments when the truth wasn’t the best choice. Bastian wouldn’t have believed that long ago…but much about what he believed had changed over the years. Let it be was the only real answer he gave anyone. Simple words for a less then simple situation. He could hope that eventually the strain stopped showing. That eventually that want to push faded just the same.

Maybe it was all pointless. Maybe it would be better to speak it. Maybe, but he didn’t know. No one really did. A guessing game that they were all trying to work their way through. They were all bound to stumble; Bastian already knew he had more then once. But he kept getting back up and that was the point that counted. Or at least that was what he needed to believe right now. One step at a time. One day at a time. “Maybe some day he’ll listen without the bribery. Till then it works right?” Eventually he’d start to realize he couldn’t push himself so hard. A few more years and he’d have to notice the fact that he wasn’t so young anymore. Till then they just got to notice for him. Much as John loathed being reminded of that fact. Not that he was the only one. It was hard for Bastian to look at him and realize how those years had added up…and how few left he had with him now.

That was one thing Bastian tried very very hard to not think about. It was…far too much for him to take. “I don’t now.” He repeated with a faint sigh. “Far too much about a person can change…given enough time.” Given certain conditions. He had to wonder just how much of himself was really the same at all anymore. Or if all he was now, all he did, was reaction to them and how they remembered him more so then himself. Constantly he found himself wondering things he didn’t want to think on. Questioning things that he’d never questioned before. His mind felt as though it was always racing… “I know.” He finally replied with a nod of his head. But the tone said that while he knew it, he wasn’t in a rush to try it. To push it and see if that too, had been taken somehow.

For now he had Sophie to watch, to listen to. Sophie to bring back some part of that life for him. “Doubt she’d mind near as much as she might claim if your there.” Bastian returned. He knew how Sophie was, how kids in general were. But no matter how she pushed he saw the way she looked at Maggie. She wanted her around, even if she wanted to rebel. “I’ll try, didn’t exactly get too far into all of that. But I know enough, I think.” Bastian never signed any deals or recorded much music but he’d always been interested in it and had the basic knowledge at least. Enough to know he wanted to meet this “manager” Sophie spoke of.

There was the near want to cringe at the thought of Sophie already being at the point in her life where she’d soon be going away. He just got her back, just started to have her in his life again, and all too soon she’d be off on her own. It was…a struggle for him. Even if he’d see her still, speak with her, it was just…she’d still be gone. Separate from that life at home. “I’m sure it will involve a bit of…back and forth. From all of us.” Even the old man. “We’ll figure it out.” He’d have to talk to the kid about it. Soon enough.

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mother_maggie
2008-08-04 10:14 pm UTC (link)

It was... impossible to know which was truly better. Likely protecting had as much benefit as sharing. Just as each had as many burdens pulling on both of them. On all of them. Sophie and his father were just as much a part of it as the two of them. Maggie couldn't forget that but seeing Sophie, made it all that much easier for her to understand his motivation. Lord knew she'd wanted to protect Sophie from so many things in this world...

But what you sheltered someone from could always come back to hurt them that much more for their ignorance. It was a fine line to walk. Too fine sometimes. A tightrope that could only lead to some kind of fall.

"Maybe..." Maggie said with a laugh that clearly said she doubted that way would come. Not that she wanted Jonathan to run himself into the ground but it would be a sad day when he didn't have that same spark of energy, same drive he had now. They just had to learn ways to channel some of it into shorter work days. "Exactly, no need to fix something that isn't broke just yet."

It was hard to hear the resignation in his tone. The confusion about it all. Maggie knew that he coudln't be the same person, no amount of wishing and remembering could make that so. Nor would it be right. She had changed over the years, she knew it. Sophie had. Everyone did. She just... wanted to believe that even with all the changes that that familial connection would always be there. Maggie straightened up slightly, her brows pulled tightly together in worry. "Bastian... things can change." She began softly before taking a step forward and sinking down across his legs. Her hands lifted to cup his cheeks. "Things have to change but not everything. What you always held inside can still be there. Might not be easy to find but it can still be there." She spoke the words with every ounce of faith she had in the world behind them. Not that it needed to be tested here and now, but someday... maybe.

A rueful sort of smile crossed over Maggie's features as she ducked her head down a bit. "Are you saying her bark is worse than her bite when it comes to her mom being around? I might have caught on to that a bit." Though Maggie did have to watch herself... she had that smothering gene in her that if not nipped in the bud was rather overwhelming. "I'm sure that you'll know more than enough to help her out." And please. Meet that manager. Speaking of which Maggie ought to as well considering her connection to a certain... ex.

Maggie could only imagine how hard that was for him now, with the thought of Sophie leaving for college. Or maybe that was more Maggie's dream for her. To have a normal college experience, not to struggle through night classes. But to just have her back and have the chance to see her go again... would always be worse for him. "For all her independence... I don't think she'll be the daughter we never hear from again after she leaves the nest." She agreed with a slow nod of her head.

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better_days
2008-08-07 12:01 am UTC (link)

Bastian had come to the conclusion all too quickly that there was no real right choice anymore. Not speaking held risks...speaking held risks. Stay. Go. Run. Stay. No matter what he did or what they did...there were risks. There were pros and there were cons. Anymore it was all about the lesser evil. For Bastian that was keeping things to himself. He'd told them enough to be aware, to know what was out there and what it meant. That alone had been damned hard for him to do. But more? To really get into the dark details of that world...no it wasn't something he wanted to do. He wanted to keep that far far away from them.

Could he do so? He didn't know. Protection wasn't easy to find and he knew this lull...this time..it wouldn't last forever. No matter how he wished it would.

But for as much as Bastian kept hidden, he didn't bury away everything. Though he knew his words were hard to hear he spoke the truth. He didn't deny just how much he doubted now. How he wondered on what was really left. People were ever changing, evolving to the world that they were in. But that didn't always mean those changes were for the good...and that was what Bastian feared. “Everything has changed.” There were days when that fact was just too damned much for him to take. “I don't know. It's just not something I want to tempt yet.” if that joy, that...part...was gone. Right now he had enough to try to handle. He had more to tell her even. Bringing that up was a topic he wasn’t sure how to breach. But he did try to offer a smile, that reassuring sort of gesture that he knew she was better at then him. 'Someday though.' he could at least offer that much to keep things from looking so bleak.

Bastian smoothed his hand over Maggie's own, drawing it upwards to press a kiss against it with a light smile “Yeah, that’s exactly what I'm saying.” Bastian had never seen Maggie smother the girl and though he knew she worried...she was well aware of how with a kid like Sophie it was better to give some space rather then to not. He knew Sophie appreciated it. “I'll know enough to help her good a good start” and knew the snakes when he saw them.

But he knew that Sophie had plans for college. The girl was too smart to not. It wasn't an easy thing to accept but it was the reality in front of them. He just had to hope that she didn't have plans to go...far. That he wasn't sure he could allow. For reasons beyond that want to just keep her close to make up for lost time. He needed her...close enough to keep an eye on her. 'No, I don't think so. But even a little time away seems like a hell of a lot sometimes.' especially to him...

Bastian sighed, taking another long drag from the cigarette before ashing it in the near by ashtray. “She talk about it at all yet? Ideas? Or do we need to start leaving hints for near by colleges?”

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mother_maggie
2008-08-11 01:34 am UTC (link)

Maggie did her best to trust that he would share what he could when he could. It wasn't always easy to leave everything to that trust but what else could she do? They were always his words to speak, his reasons for revealing or not revealing them and while she wanted to question it so often... she tried not to. Maggie had trusted him for all those years before, she wasn't going to change that here and now. Something had to stay the same.

She had to accept his words. He didn't want to tempt that particular fate right now. She wouldn't push that here and now. But someday... she would hold him to that someday. In her mind she could still picture him with a guitar held in hand, a look of contentment on his features that she hadn't seen since his routine. Maggie would do almost anything to get that look back on his pale features. Anything. "I understand. Not today... but someday." She said softly with a nod of her head. Someday, she wouldn't forget that and that was all too clear in the look of her eyes as her gaze connected with his.

The touch of his hand over hers, no matter how different his skin felt now always brought a smile to her face. Those differences couldn't take away her reactions to him. Nothing could. "Glad to know I survived the teenage years without her hating me too much." And God had she worried about that, she'd been waiting for the 'I hate you and wish I'd never been born' fight. "I know you do, and I think Sophie does too. She's pretty sure I don't know much of the bad things in life so hopefully she'll listen to you."

Maggie had always hoped that Sophie had plans for college. Whatever kind of college she thought suited her best... but some kind of plans. Sophie was smart. Too smart sometimes but Maggie would always be proud of her intelligence. Seeing her leave the nest though, no matter how proud she was... wasn't going to be easy. Painful probably, even if she was just at Seattle Central Community College. She was still growing up and that was always difficult. "I know she won't want to miss time spent with you." She squeezed Bastian's hand softly. "She loves you and missed you a great deal. I know she won't want to miss this time now." Maggie had faith in that at the very least.

Maggie shook her head slightly. "Not yet. But I've left more than a few hundred hints. I'm pretty sure she might revolt if I leave anymore." Maggie admitted ruefully as she angled her head to the side, resting on his shoulder. "I think you might be able to get away with a few though."

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better_days
2008-08-11 02:31 pm UTC (link)

Bastian knew it was difficult for her to not push. For her to stand aside and let him hold those secrets to himself. To not put a guitar in his hands and make him see if it was the same or not. He knew…and he appreciated that she allowed him that time. In a way he knew he didn’t have all the time in the world, not with them. But right now Bastian had so much to try to wrap his thoughts around. So much to attempt to figure out…that he didn’t want music to fall into that category. He didn’t want it to be just….another aspect of his life that felt so changed…so different…despite all the similarities.

“Someday” he agreed with a slight nod of his head. He would give her that. Give her the comfort of knowing he would try…he just didn’t know when. But Bastian knew she wouldn’t let it completely go. She’d remember, and she’d ask. Her stubbornness was something he always admired about her.

The teenage years…Bastian felt he’d come back just in time for that but only now was he realizing that even those were gone. She was moving on into adulthood. The little girl he remembered so clearly as a child. “She could never hate you. No matter how intense those teenage fits may be.” And how he knew Sophie could have them. Her attitude seemed to be well known through the towers. It was something he worried about. Yes he was glad his kid had spunk, that she had fire and fight inside of her. But in the world he knew…that was just asking for attention. The kind that Bastian didn’t want anywhere around her.

“I’ll make her listen one way or another. I know more then I’d like about that aspect of the world. The users. The manipulators. Sophie was smart and had street smarts on her side to a degree too. But not like her old man. There was a whole world out there she couldn’t even begin to understand. He knew he couldn’t shield her from it but he did want to make sure she was aware of it. It was just…not the simplest of conversations. Even with the reality of what he was in front of her he knew her to be skeptical. With reason. Bastian could only nod again, that soft almost resigning gesture to her words. “I can hope…” had the girl had plans to go somewhere far off and get some great education? Was he changing all of that now? He didn’t know…he knew so little about her life.

Bastian shifted enough to be able to rest his head atop her own, his free arm going around her to draw her close while the other traced lightly through her hair. Touch. He knew his touch lacked the warmth it once had but…Bastian craved that touch. That physical reminder of their nearness. “I’ll get right on that…” he mused, and he would of course. As much as he wanted her to get the best education out there….he couldn’t stand to let her go so soon. He…couldn’t risk having her so far out of sight. So far out of reach. He hoped she understood. Hope…

Bastian fell silent for a moment, but though silent nothing felt that way to him. Not with how his mind raced endlessly. “I need…to let you know something.” Bastian finally began, guilt eating at him for the thought of more changes. More harsh bits of life to try to swallow down for all of them. But he had to speak to someone on it…had to get another’s opinion on what it was he was supposed to do with this knowledge. He pulled back a bit, running his hands roughly through his hair. “Alyssa showed up the other day.”

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better_days
2008-08-28 11:14 am UTC (link)

It wasn’t easy, this life they had now. There was so much to take in, so much to try and deal with. But Bastian knew no matter how difficult it was, that he would endure anything he had to in order to be with his family. No trial or tribulation was too much for them. That had already been proven to him. But like any man he had desire to protect them, to keep them out of the chaos that could affect their lives. How well he would manage that he didn’t know. Already it seemed he was letting his fear and worry eat away at his time with them. That was something he had to stop. He couldn’t let the worry for what may come destroy what he had in front of him. It wasn’t fair…to any of them.

Yes another change had come into their lives. His sister. But that too they’d deal with as a family. Bringing her back in if she wanted it and having to deal with it together if she wanted no part of it. Though coming here, seeking them out, had to mean something.

If his sire ever came back, he’d deal with it. If darkness crossed their paths, they’d handle it. That was all Bastian could promise them. All he knew is that he wouldn’t give them up again. That he would see his little girl grow up, that he’d find some way to cope with all those years lost. That they all would with time. Even if time didn’t mean quiet the same to Bastian as it did them now. That too they’d have to come to some terms with. No matter how…painfully difficult.

One step at a time, that was really the key to all of it. It seemed the next immediate step was figuring out how to deal with Sophie going off to college already. There were a lot of talks to be had. But they’d manage…they’d get through it. One day at a time.

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