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Kaden Scott ([info]mr_rockstar) wrote in [info]haunted_roads,
@ 2008-04-17 22:17:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:kaden, serena

Week Six - Monday
Who: Serena and Kaden
Where: Her apartment
When: Evening
What: Kaden has what he hopes is a memory

The blinding headache had come on so slowly he hadn't even realized until it was sharp enough to have him reaching for the kitchen counter to stay upright. Vampires didn't have migraines....so what the hell was this? Kaden could feel a thin sheen of cool sweat lining his forehead as he raised a hand, rubbing futilely at his temples as if that might somehow vanquish the damn pounding behind his eyes. The light from the kitchen's overhead lighting was suddenly too bright, too intense for his already
sensitive eyes and there was no choice but to close them in an attempt to block out the glare.

Light shouldn't still show when you close your eyes, light shouldn't be inside your eyelids....ok, so something was definitely wrong here. That dull, throbbing pain was escalating quickly, searing through his skull until it felt as if someone was trying to bust free of it. Kaden leaned forward a bit further, bracing himself against the kitchen counter as the edges of his vision whitened, growing brighter and brighter even as the pain reverberating through his head seemed to worsen.

There came a moment when everything froze - when the pain stopped and the light that crept through closed lids couldn't get any brighter - and it was then that he realized this wasn't just any weirder-than-shit headache. There were flowers....fucking flowers....and that itself made no sense...until...there-was that Serena? Serena holding flowers, what looked like roses...little, tiny roses.....and her smile...glancing up at....him? What that was it was? That's the way it seemed at least. But why...was this a memory? Could it be the first key that might unlock the rest? Could he be so lucky? Flowers....that's what he tried to burn into his already fried brain in that moment....don't forget the flowers - he willed himself - don't forget the fucking flowers.

And then he was falling....vision going black again. He crashed against the floor, but by then. Kaden was already unconscious. When he came too his head was, mercilessly, pain free - not to mention the fact that his vision was back to normal. Flowers. He had to find out what the flowers meant.....why would they be the first thing he remembered? Pushing himself up from the floor, he grabbed his keys and dashed out the door, hurrying to Serena's apartment. He raised a hand and knocked solidly, hoping she was home, praying she would have an answer...



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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-18 06:11 am UTC (link)
Serena had been at the hospital since 7 AM yesterday morning and wanted nothing more than to get something to eat, drink a glass of wine and take the world's longest bubble bath. Her feet were aching and she felt physically exhausted. She couldn't have been happier. All of the long hours and hard days were absolutely worth it in her mind. Most of her new colleagues thought she was either nuts or too new to know any better but they would all learn in due time. This was her life's calling and she was going to enjoy every second of it, even the hard times.

A few pieces of balsamic coated chicken breasts simmered in a skillet on the stove and a glass of freshly poured white wine sat on the counter untouched when the knock sounded at her door. She looked up from where she stood in front of a cutting board and hesitated a moment while she hurried to think if she was expecting any company. Alex was out for the night and she hadn't made any plans with Nox so she didn't think anyone was supposed to be coming over. Hmm.

The knife she had been holding was set down and she wiped her hands off on a dish towel before heading for the door. A moment later it was pulled open and surprise was clearly shown on her soft features when her eyes landed on Kaden. "Hey what's- Are you okay?" Surprise was replaced with concerned as her trained eyes took in the sight of him. He was paler than normal and something was just...off. "Come in and have a seat. When was the last time you fed?" she asked softly as she closed the door.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-18 12:55 pm UTC (link)
"I'm ok," he assured her quickly, stepping inside as she made way for him, "at least, I think I'm ok." Kaden wasn't one to easily frazzle, his calm and cool demeanor was usually perfectly in place. To see him like this - a bit
paler than usual, hair a mess, eyes wild - it was completely out of character for him. They didn't make it much farther than through the door when he erupted into the first line of questions, unable to keep his curiosity at
bay any longer. "You...you like roses," there was no question, just a statement that carried a bit of curiosity, as if he was looking to confirm something he already knew - which he was. "Little ones....like miniature
roses, right?" his eyes were locked on hers, searching eagerly for some indication that he hadn't made this all up. "Or have I completely lost it now?" one of his usual smirks touched to his lips then, the first hint that perhaps Kaden truly wasn't as out of sorts as he seemed, "It wouldn't be completely out of the question for me to be losing it, so if I am just let me know, I'll get outta your hair," he quipped, looking to diffuse already what had the possibility to become an awkward situation.

Still, nothing meant more in that moment than whatever Serena's answer might be. If it was yes, then the episode in his apartment earlier might truly be the first of hopefully many memories to return. If not, then his already damaged brain was doing a bit of creative work on the side, trying to trick him with memories that weren't memories at all. It was hard to tell and perfectly understandable that Kaden was slow to trust himself in the way that he should. It wasn't everyday a vampire got a freakin' headache so intense it took them down. Hopefully his mangled brain wasn't planning on making it a habit - passing out in public could lead to a few sticky situations that he was in no hurry to find himself in.

It was only then, finally, that his brain caught onto the scent of food in the air. He could see the glass of wine on the counter in the kitchen and nearly winced realizing she'd probably only just gotten home and he'd already interrupted her evening. "I really am the most annoying
next door neighbor ever, huh?" he chuckled, running a hand through his hair, putting the dark strands into some kind of order without really meaning to. "I didn't mean to interrupt...I just had to ask you about the flowers. Next time, I'll call first," he assured her with a playful wink.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-18 07:19 pm UTC (link)
He wasn't okay, she knew that much but at the same time, she trusted him enough to tell her if things were really bad. Sure something was off but as long as it wasn't life threatening...well, it worried her either way but she would believe him for now. "Are you sure-" His words cut her off but it was the content that made her eyes go wide. Pale lips parted slightly as she stared at him as if she had seen a ghost. In all reality she had, the ghost of who he used to be because her Kaders knew how much she loved those little flowers. Words seemed to fail her at the sound of his question and all she could do was glance over to her kitchen table and stare at the short vase full of multicolored miniature roses. "You're starting to remember," was all she could say.

It was like she was frozen as the realization sank in and it took her a moment to figure out what he was interrupting. Her gaze fell to her Snoopy covered scrubs and then shifted toward the kitchen where her dinner had been left unattended as it cooked on the stove. Crap. "No, no, you aren't interrupting." Quickly she moved over to the stove and turned down the heat. "I'm glad you came," she said over her shoulder as she covered the skillet and took care of a few things. No need to waste a perfectly good meal just because she was shellshocked at the moment.

A moment was taken to help regain her composure and she turned to him with a smile. "They're my favorite flower and sometimes you would show up at the hospital during my overnight shift and surprise me with some." It hurt a lot to think back on the past but at the same time, she couldn't have been happier that he at least had something. Her heart could have burst with the joy that little detail had caused her. "And in order to call, you would need my number," she added with a laugh almost as if it had been a second thought. "God, that's amazing. Did you remember anything else?"

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-19 12:57 am UTC (link)
His eyes never left her place, were fixated on whatever reaction she might give to what he'd shared. The seconds it took her to digest what he'd shared, to confirm or deny what he'd hoped was a memory felt like hours. Her gaze left him, moved towards the kitchen and his own followed, landing on the vase of flowers the occupied a spot on the counter. He let out a breath of relief, a wide smile breaking out across his lips - his first memory, that had to be a good start, right? Surely that meant that things could only get better from here, that more memories would return now - he was hoping this was just the kick-off, that it would lead him back to who he'd been. For now, he could only nod, his eyes finding their way back to Serena's, "I think I am. Well, a little bit, at least. It isn't much, but it's something....a place to start."

The news of his little episode seemed to shock her as much as it had him, he could see it in her eyes, in the time it took before she seemed to recover enough to get back to the routine he'd interrupted. He watched her move into the kitchen to take care of the dinner he'd barged in on, running a hand through his dark hair, "I had to come...you're really the only one that would know if I was going nuts or if the whole flower thing was truly a memory coming back." He was beyond grateful that it had turned out to be the latter. "Looks like you're settling in," he added after a moment, eyes sweeping over the interior of her apartment, taking in the little trinkets scattered throughout. Is this what their place had looked like back home? He could feel that tug of curiosity in the back of his mind, but - for once - he didn't want to bombard her with questions, didn't want her to think that the only use he had for her anymore was an exterior memory.

His attention slid back to her quickly as she shared the story behind the
memory, clinging to whatever little details she could give him. They didn't
bring anything else to the forefront, but he stored them away just the same, hoping that one day they might. "They seem...very you," he wasn't sure what he meant by that, exactly...maybe it was their classic beauty, the faux weakness of their petite petals, the vivid hue of each bloom...there was just something about them that seemed to fit her. He had been worried that telling her about what he'd managed to remember so far might get her hopes up, might have her thinking that things would fall back into place now. And when she asked if anything else had come back, Kaden could only shake his head. "Nothing....nothing else, not yet. Here's to hoping," he quipped, trying to lighten up the suddenly serious tone.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-20 06:40 pm UTC (link)
Words couldn't express the pure joy she felt about even the smallest memory returning. Deep down she had known that the likelihood of everything coming back was slim but she never gave up hope. Now it seemed like that hope was finally beginning to pay off. "Something is better than nothing," she offered with a soft smile. Something gave that hope a reason to keep burning.

There was a sense of pride almost at the fact that she was the only one in the city who could help him answer such big questions. Even if he couldn't remember what they once had, there was still a huge connection between them. Hopefully that would help them continue to push on and bring more to the surface. It was all she had when everything else felt like some sort of forgotten dream. "Yeah, finally," she answered with almost an exasperated smile. "I feel like I've been moving nonstop and it's crazy."

His words tugged at her heart and she grinned as she took a moment to glanced down at the floor. "That's what you said when you first found out that I loved them." All of this was like starting over again but of course their meeting in the bar hadn't ended up nearly as wonderful as it had the first time. That was a good night. "Yeah, here's to hoping." It had become something she was good at doing.

"Well I know you don't eat but would you like to stay anyway? Maybe have a beer or some wine?" It was hard to let him go even if he had only come over to get one question answered.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-21 01:34 pm UTC (link)
Kaden nodded, a little grin playing across his lips, "Yeah, I guess you've got a point there." Was he hoping that this was just the beginning, that memories would just come flooding back? Of course he was, he'd have to be crazy not to - but there was that nagging little voice in the back of his brain that reminded him that his luck had never been that good. Wouldn't it just be too easy for him to have lost a year and then just have everything returned to him? It seemed a bit idyllic for his tastes, but Kaden would have taken such a turn of events in a heartbeat. This whole situation wasn't easy for him, he could imagine how hard it was for her...or he was trying to. It was so easy for him to get swept up in trying to get questions answered that he had to make sure not to lose sight of the fact that these weren't just answers for her, they were memories of a lost life.

He was glad to see that she was making the previously empty space into a home. Kaden might not have remembered what her apartment back east looked like or what she'd done to his when she'd moved in but something about the little trinkets scattered around felt like things she might like. It was reassuring to see that in spite of all the strangeness between them, that she was creating a life for herself here. Memories or not, he was sure that he wanted her happy.

"It was?" he looked surprised to be told he was repeating an observation he'd made years earlier. It was strange to hear that you still believed an opinion you'd once voiced. Hoping seemed to be what he spent a lot of time doing, but really what else was there? He couldn't force his memories to come back to him, they'd either return or not at their own pace.

"Yeah," he nodded, flashing a warm smile, "yeah, I'll stay. A beer would be great, actually." He wouldn't really enjoy it as he once had, but the slightest taste left behind was still one that he could enjoy. "Besides, you've got to eat or you might drop at the pace it looks like you're running," he joked with a grin.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-22 06:01 am UTC (link)
Serena smiled. "Yeah, it was." It was amazing just how many small details she remembered of their time together. Before she hadn't really had a reason to think back on them all but now she found herself trying to remember every detail so that she could share them with him. She might not have been taking notes at the time, but her memory recall was pretty astounding, which was pretty remarkable considering all of the medical knowledge she was storing up there.

"Good, I'm glad." Everything about her in that moment was genuine as she smiled over to him. Somedays she felt like everything would be lost but others she knew that in the end it would be okay. Tonight was one of those times and she definitely needed the little pick me up after the year she was having. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

A laugh sounded as she made her way over to her fridge and pulled out a beer. "I think you might be right," she smirked as she walked back over and handed the bottle to him. "The last time I ate was..." Oh God, if she had to really think about it then it obviously had been too long. "This morning? No, last night. It's been a while," she admitted with a sheepish grin. "Go ahead and grab a seat, I'm almost done cooking."

She returned to the stove and finished up, plating the chicken and a small green salad a few minutes later. Once that was settled, she grabbed up the plate and her wine glass and headed over to the table to join him. "So how are those tapes I left you working out? Have you written any new music lately?"

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-22 02:10 pm UTC (link)
He'd agreed to stay and so, thanking her for the beer, Kaden moved to take a seat at the table so she could eat while they talked. It wasn't a good sign that she had to actually think about her last meal, after all, now wasn't the time to keep her from getting in a dinner that she so obviously needed. Besides, as long as she wasn't trying to feed him, he didn't have a problem being surrounded by the smell of food while she got a plate together for herself. After a moment or two, she came to join him, settling in with her selection across from him.

"The tapes are great," he admitted - they'd rarely left his stereo system since she'd handed them over. In fact, he'd had one of the band members dub the stuff into his computer already so he could mess around with mixing and re-mixing them, see if he came up with any good. "Had some luck with one of the tracks on there, been working mostly on it...I think it should be done in the next few days." He'd been surprised that anything had come of it, but fate was funny sometimes - hell, his whole life was indicative of that.

It looked for a moment like he was debating telling her something, buying a moment of time by raising his beer to his lips. "I don't know if this will help to hear or..." he sighed, "did you know there's a hidden track on the second tape? Towards the end...it's after a pretty good chunk of silence...about ten minutes or so. I'm guessing, from the sound of it, that I might have been writing it for you....for the wedding." He couldn't be sure, of course, but that's what everything about it seemed to be pointing to. He hope that it might help her remember that in spite of everything he'd done, everything he'd screwed up in an attempt to fix things permanently, he'd loved her intensely.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-23 02:37 am UTC (link)
Serena was happy to hear that he was pleased with the tapes, not that she was worried he wouldn't be because technically they were his tapes but whatever. "Really? Oh good!" If there was one thing that she knew for certain, it was that Kaden loved his music and that it made him happy. And really, that's all she ever wanted for him in life. Maybe she wasn't really in the recipe to see to that happiness but as long as something else was doing the trick then she could learn to be okay with that.

She continued to eat as he spoke but she did glance up with a bit of curiosity dancing across her face. At first she had no idea where he was going with it but as the words fell from his lips, she found herself listening intently right up until her heart stopped. Clearing her throat, she glanced down at her plate and pushed her food around for a moment. "I didn't know that."

A long, deep breath was pulled into her lungs and she reached for her wine to give herself a moment to compose and gather her thoughts. "After you were gone, I really didn't listen to any of your music. It was just too painful to hear you and not have you there, you know?" Okay maybe he didn't know but he could probably imagine. "I'm sure it was beautiful though," she said in an attempt to move the conversation along.

"Maybe when you're done with it, I could borrow it to have a listen?" That of course would involve her, a bottle of wine, a box of tissue and a dark room.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-23 01:50 pm UTC (link)
The tapes were truly a gift...they allowed him to take little glimpses into the life he'd once had and not in a way that had to come from someone else. He could just sit back and listen to his own words, his own voice, his own music tell him little stories here and there about what had inspired each and every track. Did he know what each and every one was about? No, but he could guess. Music was like that, at least when it was good. You didn't have to have necessarily experience whatever it was to understand, to empathize. A good song made you feel anyway.

Kaden had figured she didn't know about the track he'd found hidden at the back of one of those tapes. "Honestly, I think it's done," he admitted, picking at the label on his beer bottle, "it's sounds done at least, as far as I can tell." He didn't really know where it had been heading or what he'd been thinking when he'd written it, but it sounded like something he'd recently finished or been about to, prior to his 'death'.

Nodding was just about all he could do as he listened to her admit that she hadn't listened to much of his music after he was gone. He could imagine that it must have been difficult. Sometimes he didn't want to listen to his own music for the same reason. It was getting a glimpse of a life you no longer had, a life that - for him - it felt as if he'd never had to begin with. From the sounds of things, he was missing out on a pretty great existence.

"I made you a copy, actually," he admitted, "forgot it next door in the rush to get over here, but I have one for you. Next time I swing by, I'll make sure to bring it with me." That was, if he didn't have another one of those blinding memory headache things and pass out again.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-28 05:05 pm UTC (link)
Her appetite had all but vanished due to the news of a wedding song, but she knew that she had to continue to eat if only to keep Kaden from thinking he somehow upset her. So she brought another forkful up and did her best to force it down. She would need her strength anyway and really, she didn't need to hear Alex lecturing her later about looking pale or tired.

"Did you?" she asked as she reached for her wine once more. Silently she was giving herself props for stopping at the store on the way home to pick up a fresh bottle because she would be needing it tonight. It was almost funny, she seem to drink more now that she knew he was alive than when she had thought him dead. Maybe his death had been easier on her after all.

A small smile crept to her lips at the thought of his coming over again. "Are you planning on making this a regular thing?" Her tone was teasing and she did her best to act like everything was just fine. "Not that I mind of course." As painful as it was on occasion to have him there, there was no place she would rather him be. Call her a masochist or whatever, but it was true.

"So aside from a piece of your memory returning and the tapes, how have you been? How's the band and everything?" More than anything she wanted to be included in his life and she could only pray that he would be willing to share it with her. At least that way it was better than simply watching from the sidelines.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-28 06:12 pm UTC (link)
He really was bad at this whole 'considering how things might impact her bit,' but he'd thought she deserved to know what his former self had been up to prior to...well...everything. "I have a feeling I was pretty good at messing up everything, wasn't I?" he chuckled lightly, "I mean...the whole memory bit, my office....kinda a messy guy, I'm guessing?" At least he was man enough to realize this was totally and completely his fault. Sure, he'd had the best intentions at heart, but he'd still royally screwed things up, now hadn't he? He didn't want her thinking that for some odd reason he blamed her for any of this. Without her help, he probably wouldn't have managed to recover the little bit that had come back to him earlier that night.

He nodded lightly in answer to her question, "I did. If you want it, I mean....it's totally understandable if you don't." Who could really blame her if she wasn't all that interested in what he might have had to say back then? Surely she'd already known everything important - at least, he hoped so, otherwise being a dick was a trait he hadn't lost along with his memory. It was strange to have someone feel 'familiar' after so long, but Serena did....just slightly. He felt as if whatever he might be about to say, she already knew...it was odd, but nice after a year spent naturally cautious of anyone around you, especially those that claimed to be friends.

He chuckled lightly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, "Right, yeah....guess I am kind of making it a habit to drop by here unannounced. Feel free to kick me out, by the way, guess I hadn't realized just how often I was doing it." There was that comfort factor kicking in again...woops. He really should keep in mind that she had a life to live here outside of answering all his little questions. Way to be selfish, Kade, real good. She assured him that she didn't mind and he grinned lightly, "Nah, really though, I don't mean to be a pest. I know you've got stuff to do, so...feel free to show me the door whenever." Becoming a burden now wouldn't help matters at all.

"I've been....alright," he shrugged lightly, "kind of shocking to hear you lived a life you can't remember, you know? I mean, I knew I was missing some time....but to have been wiped clean of such a huge chunk....it's...strange." He had a new understanding of amnesia victims and the frustration they must feel. "You want so bad to remember, you push and try everything little thing you can think of to bring stuff back and there's just...nothing. It isn't even like forgetting something and having it on the tip of your tongue, there's just nothing there." Was it tough? Hell yeah. He was trying to cope, but it was starting to wear. It'd be a year, a whole year what if things never came back?



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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-28 11:37 pm UTC (link)
Serena chuckled. "You might have had your moments but overall you had it together." He had known what he wanted and was happy with his life. Sure he had screwed a few things up but that was life and everyone made mistakes. "Besides, as horrific as your office was, it was still part of your charm." Just the fact that he wouldn't relinquish control of it was something that she could admire. That and for someone who was into clean lines and obsessed over his car, a messy office was rather entertaining.

"No, I would love to hear it." It would hurt, but it was something she needed to do. Hopefully it would help remind her of the good times and give her one more thing to hold onto when she felt like giving up. Besides, he had a beautiful voice and it was about time for her to start listening to it again.

If anything, she wished he would stop by more. Okay so maybe she wasn't home all that often but if he would only drop in to visit her at the hospital again...that'd be nice. Though that was probably wishful thinking on her part as well as being selfish. Just because they had a history together didn't mean that he was looking to rekindle anything between them while he couldn't remember. "I promise that the second you start to annoy me that I will kick you out. But until then, you are more than welcome to stop by whenever you like." And she meant that.

Serena gave a slow nod. "Have you ever considered getting an MRI done to see if you can figure out the extent of the damage? I mean I understand you couldn't get it done using the normal channels but surely there is a vampire or two that would have a connection." And if not, Serena had already made more than enough friends at the hospital.

"Hey," she said as she reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "You will remember. We'll figure something out, I promise." It might have been a huge promise to make but she was bound and determined to make it happen.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-29 12:13 am UTC (link)
Everyone made mistakes, that was true, but why did his suddenly feel so much more colossal than everyone else's? Maybe it was because he'd not only screwed up everything good that he'd had, but he'd managed to mess up her life too. That weighed on him most heavily, the fact that he'd taken away the happiness that she'd managed to find. He could have lived with just those years missing from his life, but to know that you'd stolen away something vitally precious to a seemingly perfectly nice person was gut-wrenching. So, as reassuring as she was, he couldn't help but blame himself for all of this mess. Who else was there, really?

"You're sure?" he was a bit surprised to hear that she did, though a part of it was happy. It was obvious, even to him, that he'd loved her madly given what he'd written into the song. Maybe it would do her good to hear it, maybe it would reassure her a little bit. "I'll bring it by soon, then, so you can sneak a listen." Heck, he could probably slip it under her door. The disc was thin enough and then she wouldn't have to face him during the whole exchange if she didn't want to. Really he'd understand perfectly if she was tired of him already. He was kind of making a nuisance lately, stopping by whenever he wanted and all that. Maybe he could chalk it up to being a neighborly hazard? Yeah, that sounded good.

"An MRI? I hadn't thought of that," he admitted. "None of the vamps I know have access to the right equipment." That didn't mean it was impossible, of course, but it definitely made things more difficult.

When she took his hand, he was momentarily surprised by the little spark he felt. As if it was some tangible thing, some overblown static build up that gave his nerve endings a little jolt. As if testing that reaction, he lifted a thumb and ran it gently over the back of her hand. "I don't want to sound arrogant, but....I also don't want you waiting around for me," he admitted after a moment, glancing up at her, his eyes a wealth of emotions. "I just....life is short, you know, and I don't want you putting all your hopes on my memories coming back. Because if it doesn't, well....you shouldn't be stuck up the creek with me." It was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to say - he wanted the chance to remember what they'd had, to maybe get it back, but a part of him also knew how much her happiness meant to him. If she could have that with someone else, then he had to let her. He'd been selfish long enough.

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-29 12:47 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, I think it's about time that I started listening again." The safer bet would have been to start off with some of his old songs but she figured jumping in with both feet would be the best route to go. No point in dancing around the issue and putting off something that she just really needed to hear. She had been the only one holding on to that love and she needed some reassurance that it hadn't all been a dream.

Hmm, well darn, she was hoping that he would have had better connections. "Well let me see what I can do. But a look at your brain should tell us if the memory loss will be permanent or not." If the actually tissue was damaged the chance of a full recovery was slim. Hopefully that wouldn't be the case, with the increased healing and all, and it would just be a matter of time. Time that wasn't on her side.

The act of moving his thumb across her hand caused her heart to flutter and she had to take a deep breath to keep herself from getting too worked up over it. The next words out of his mouth caused her stomach to fall to the floor. "What?" Shock and disbelief fell across her face and she shook her head. "But I just got you back, I'm not ready to give that up again." Sure he wasn't back-back but they hadn't given it enough time. "You have to give me more time before you try to push me away."

A strong squeeze was given to his hand as she looked deep into his eyes. "I mean you at least have to give me until I can get a look at your scans and then if..." It hurt her to even think it let alone say it. "If things look bad then maybe I'll try to let go. Okay?" He was the love of her life, her soul mate and just giving up was not an option. Surely he could understand that. "I mean if our positions were reversed, do you think you'd be able to just walk away and move on?"

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-29 01:35 am UTC (link)
If she was ready to listen, then he'd happily hand over the song. He'd written it for her, after all, with every intent of having her hear it. He'd probably intended to sing it to her, so it was definitely more hers than it was his. She had every right to hear it, to have a copy of it in her possession and if she was ready for it, then he'd hand it over. The next time he swung by, there would definitely be a copy in hand. Heck, he could probably even slide the disc beneath her door, then she wouldn't have to face him during that exchange.

Years ago, back home, he probably could have made one phone call and had an MRI machine in his living room. Since finding himself in Seattle, Kaden had been understandably cautious in letting people get close. He trusted his band members, they were truly the only people other than Serena he trusted, but none of them had access to medical equipment. "No risking this new job of yours," he warned her with a grin, "you just got settled in there and I know you love it, so no pulling anything to sneak me in there and possibly risk getting fired." He meant it, too - he could already tell she was trying to think of someway to help, but he wasn't going to let her risk her brand new job to do it.

"Not pushing away," he corrected, sitting up quickly, feeling the need to make her understand. "But I have to realistic about what's going on in my head. It's been a year and today was the first time I'd remembered anything. A year for one little thing, that doesn't exactly instill a whole lot of confidence in me. I mean, if it took a year for this, how long will I be waiting for everything to come back, if it does? A hundred, two hundred years? I've got that to wait and find out, but you don't. I can't ask you to wait around, wasting your time if I'm not going to remember."

"I know that I loved you," Kaden assured her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, "I feel comfortable with you, it feels familiar. The things that you tell me, they feel like the truth. But more than that, I know that I'd want you to be happy and you might be great at pretending you are with just helping me with all of this, but I want you to be really happy."

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-29 06:59 am UTC (link)
Her nose wrinkled and she frowned. Okay so he had a point that she shouldn't be risking her new job but there had to be some way she could help him. Maybe there was a case study she could get in on or something. "Fine, I promise not to risk my job but that doesn't mean that I won't try to figure out another way." Perhaps an independent research firm that they could pay off or something.

Serena really couldn't believe that they were having this "disagreement" because she knew that if the tables were turned that he wouldn't be able to just walk away and move on either. He might not remember a good chunk of his life, but he to admit that he knew that he could be damn stubborn when it came to certain things. The fact that he ran out and went after that stupid cure was proof enough of that.

"Well as long as we're being realistic," she countered with one of her better "doctor" looks. "Then surely you must realize that you only got me back a couple of weeks ago and already a memory has appeared. Therefore it is not unreasonable to assume that the process will be sped up by my arrival." Oh come on, she totally had a point. "And for the record I totally could have thrown in a bunch of medical jargon to make it sound more official but I refrained for your sake."

Her blue gaze fell to their joined hands and she shook her head. "I am not going to be happy without you." Even if she could somehow force herself to move on, her heart would always belong to him and she would never be able to love someone quite as much. In addition to that, it wouldn't be fair to whoever was foolish enough to get involved with her. It would be like living a lie and then what if she moved on, got married and then found out that if she had only waited a little bit longer she could have had him back... What then?

"If you truly believe that then...Then let's try again." She knew she was getting a little desperate but she didn't want to lose him again. "We can go out sometime and see if the spark is still there, even without the past. We can make new memories just...just give me a chance to be important to you again. I think I deserve that much." Surely on some level he still found her attractive and all that so what was there really to lose?

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-29 06:05 pm UTC (link)
"That's fine," he nodded with a little grin - he may not remember her, but he'd expected to hear as much. "Probably something I should look into a bit, too. Gotta be a vamp somewhere around here that has access to an MRI machine or knows somebody who does." He just had to track down who that was and convince them that they wanted to help.

If Kaden could remember everything, there was no way he would have ever walked away. He knew that, even if he didn't know anything else. He would have never given up, would have never allowed her to walk away from what they had. But the tables weren't turned and she'd been forced to miss out on enough already just being with him, he wouldn't make her wait around for memories that may or may not return, too. He couldn't ask that of her, he wouldn't....and he wouldn't allow her to volunteer it, either. He wasn't a fan of this whole memory loss thing, but he had to be realistic about it anyway.

Her 'reasoning' had him chuckling lightly, "So you're the key to it all, huh? Somehow that doesn't seem so far fetched." He hadn't thought of it that way - she really did have a point. Maybe spending all this time with her was jogging something in that muddled brain of his, spinning it around enough to get at least one thing out so far. Who knew if continuing to spend time with her would bring back more memories? Maybe he'd completely, or nearly, recover someday with her help. It seemed far-fetched, but that seemed to be an everyday thing for him anymore.

"I think you give me too much credit," Kaden joked lamely, his thumb swiping lightly across the back of her hand. Surely she could be happy without him, if things came to that - she was beautiful, intelligent, successful....traits that any man would be foolish to pass up. From what he'd learned of his 'former' self, he hadn't exactly sounded like a major catch: the lead singer of a local band with a messy apartment and a garbage-eating dog? Maybe it was the jackpot if you were into that sort of thing, but really Serena seemed far too classy for the likes of him. Then again, there was something to be said for slumming it.

"Are you sure?" his eyes searched hers carefully when she brought up trying again. "I can't imagine it'll be easy for you, going out and hoping to see something in my eyes that still isn't there." He wanted it to be there, wanted to be who he had been, but it didn't seem that his past was in any hurry to come back. "Hey," he gave her hand a light squeeze to get her attention, so that she'd meet his eyes, "you're still important to me. In a different way than before, but you're one of the few people I feel like I can trust. If you want to try and see if there's anything between us now, I'm all for it. We'll take things slow, see what happens. Maybe I'll remember everything, maybe not, I just don't want you disappointed in this version of me." He wasn't the man he'd been before - could she deal with that?

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-29 07:21 pm UTC (link)
"Well I didn't get a full ride to Yale based only on my looks." That Serena, she knew a thing or two about stuff. Haha. But it did make sense. he couldn't exactly expect his memory to return without the help of some sort of trigger. Not that she didn't expect it to magically make everything instantly better, but theoretically she should at least help the process along.

The simple act of his thumb across her hand had her stomach doing flips and she found herself watching his mouth a little more than should have been allowed. He might not have had the "perfect" boyfriend credentials but Serena wasn't exactly every other girl. Occupation and cleanliness weren't the main qualifications when it came to her dating check list. With her it was all about the heart and Kaden's heart was as big as they came.

For a moment she thought he wasn't going to go for her idea and her heart almost fell through the floor again. She felt like he was making excuses to not try it while dressing his reasons up and making them seem like it was only out of concern for her. Fortunately that wasn't the case. "Really?" she asked as she gazed into his eyes. There were no words to express just how happy she was that he was willing to give them a chance.

"I know there is a chance that things won't work out but if I don't get that chance then I won't be able to live with the doubt later." All of the "what ifs" would surely swallow her whole and cause her to drown. The spark she held was already starting to fade and without the opportunity to try one more time, it would likely burn out.

"So take me out sometime next week and if the sparks don't fly then we can still be friends." It would kill her but at least she would have been able to give it one last try and that would be what would help her get through it and continue on with her life.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-29 10:58 pm UTC (link)
"Yale doesn't give scholarships to beautiful women?" he teased with a smile, "And here I thought they were the ones doing everything right." He'd lost his memory, not his ability to flirt...or so it seemed. Regardless of past history, Serena was a beautiful woman and that deserved recognition at any time. Besides, if just being around her had triggered something then maybe trying to get back to that easy dynamic between the two of them would spark something more.

Watching a vampire's mouth could prove to be an interesting study in adaptation - unless he was full on grinning at her, Kaden somehow managed to hide those elongated canines in everything he did: talking, smiling, laughing...they never once peaked into view unless he was totally aware of it. Probably a habit born of years of experience with the damn things making him stand out - and not in the good way - hiding them now was as natural as breathing had once been.

He wasn't about to write off the possibility of the two of them having something together. Nothing between a human and a vampire was every easy, but if he'd been crazy enough about her to propose, then clearly he'd come to terms with that once before. And if he'd done it then, why couldn't he now? He already thought she was physically attractive and he was quickly learning that she was smart, funny, dedicated and incredibly warm-hearted. She liked his music and there was the whole notion of her remembering everything that he wanted to regain. Never before in his life, that he could remember, had he turned down a challenge. Why start now?

"Pushy, aren't you, blondie?" he winked playfully, but nodded a moment later. "You already know the hours I keep, so I assume you're aware this will be a night-time event," Kaden chuckled lightly, "I'm afraid I'm not much for dinner, which you probably also know." Well he was just a thrill a minute, wasn't he? "How about drinks? There's a little place down town by the park. We could start there, maybe take a walk, see where the night takes us."

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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-29 11:15 pm UTC (link)
Really, he should be jumping at the chance to take her out. What other attractive, intelligent, funny, etc. human female would he be able to do the same with? Oh that's right, none. Serena was already aware of what he was and all of the little quirks that came with it. And to top it all off, she was wildly attracted to him and when was that ever bad? Never, that's when.

"Maybe a little," she said with a shrug. Stubborn was more like it but if pushy worked then she could go with that. "Hmm yeah, I do recall something about nights..." It wasn't that long ago that they had been together so all of the little details were still pretty fresh. Was it wrong if her first thought was that she hoped the night would take them straight into her bed? Hrm, probably since Alex was living with her. Well, good thing Kaden had his own place! No wait, they were taking things slow. She could do this.

"Drinks and a walk sound really nice," she answered with a grin. "How about Thursday? I only have a morning shift that day so I'll be free all night." And she did mean all night. Oh jeez, she was getting way ahead of herself but it wasn't her fault! He was sitting there with that sexy as hell grin and still holding her hand and...Oh God, what was she going to tell Alex? Crap. Maybe he just wouldn't be around and didn't have to know? Yeah, that sounded good.

Not that she wanted to break the contact, but eventually she had to take her hand back so that she could finish the few remaining bites of her dinner. "Would you like another beer or are you good?" It was her excuse to get him to stay a little longer but it was getting late and she had no idea what plans he had before he stopped by so...yeah.

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[info]mr_rockstar
2008-04-30 12:26 am UTC (link)
"Somehow I think 'a little' doesn't begin to cover it," he teased. Oh no, Serena seemed like a perfect headstrong little thing. Somehow he imagined that if she was bound and determined to make something happened, then it tended to - one way or another. That definitely wasn't a bad thing, in fact it was rather hot. But they were taking things slow, it was no time to be mentally flipping through all the things he liked about her. Before they got into anything of the sexual nature, he really wanted to get to know her again, to learn all of those little quirks that made her her.

"Thursday it is," Kaden nodded, a smile slipping over his lips. He was intrigued to see if anything still lingered between them now. If the chemistry between them just at her kitchen table was any indication, they'd do just fine. "I'll pick you up about a half hour after sundown, sound good?" That'd give him enough time to 'wake up' and make sure that the sun really and truly was gone for the night. Getting the sunburn of a lifetime would certainly put a damper on their "first date."

She withdrew her hand and he rather missed the warmth that it had given his unnaturally chilled skin. "I'd love one, but I should probably get going. Practice tonight for a gig tomorrow night," he sighed, offering up an apologetic smile. "Besides, I should let you finish dinner, keep up your strength and all that. Dating a vampire is going to keep you out late, after all." He flashed a warm smile, pushing himself back from her table to stand.

"I really appreciate this whole tolerating me every time I drop by thing," Kaden laughed lightly, reaching up to run a hand through his dark hair. "Feel free to return the favor, if you feel inclined." He may have said it jokingly, but he wasn't - if she wanted to stop by and see what he was up to some night, he'd welcome the company. Obviously a daytime visit wasn't the best idea, so maybe they'd go back to being a nocturnal couple. "I'll bring that disc by that I made for you....and I'll see you Thursday night, yeah?" He was looking forward to it.


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[info]aloveforgotten
2008-04-30 11:36 pm UTC (link)
"That sounds great," she replied with a grin. As far as the chemistry went, she wasn't entirely sure if the sparks she was feeling on her end were being imagined due to their previous relationship. She sincerely hoped that he was feeling them too but one never really knew. He seemed interested enough though if that was because they had a past together and he was curious or because he was sincerely interested she couldn't really know. Just...ugh well, she was hoping for the best whatever the reason.

"Ahh, the life of a rock star. I almost forgot." The days of being able to sit in on his rehearsals were greatly missed as were all of the good times they had shared with his bandmates. Hopefully this time around things wouldn't change but she didn't suppose that he would hang out with anyone too far off from his last band. Speaking of which, she still needed to call Ryan. "Dating huh? My aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves," she teased. "I might not even like you this time around. Besides, the only reason I went home with you the first time was because of your car and that's back in New York." Her tone was completely playful and there was a spark in her eyes. Oh yeah, she was as giddy as a school girl.

Serena stood with him and walked him toward the door, a very distinct bounce in her step as she moved. "You might end up regretting that offer, but you are welcome here whenever you like." The door was pulled open for him and at the mention of the disk and their date, her smile reached her eyes. "Can't wait. Have a good time at rehearsal tonight."

Once he was gone and the door was closed, she leaned back against it and bit down onto her lower lip as she grinned. Ugh! What was she going to wear?!

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