InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "L-L-L-L-Lo-la!"

Haunted NPC (haunted_npc) wrote in haunted_roads,
@ 2008-03-22 16:00:00

Entry tags:

dimitri, ophelia

Week Four: Tuesday
Who: Ophelia and Dimitri
Where: Canlis Restaurant
When: Night time

The Caché, the secret little niche nestled in privacy, providing Canlis’ most spectacular view, and now one of Ophelia’s favorite finds in this Emerald City. The ages old vampiress had a habit of learning bits and pieces of whatever city she stayed in and Seattle was no exception. She did after all, intend to be here at least a little while. Though, she could just as easily be gone again, if it proved too much.

Her life now was much as it had always been, save the years with her children. A nomad, traveling where the wind willed her. The only time she’d settled had been when she had family. When they had gone, so too had her roots, she lifted up and moved on once again, heavy hearted, but having finally known love. She’d been touched by the experience, and had learned as well.

Dimitri had agreed to meet her and so Ophelia had made arrangements at a neutral spot, where neither would feel put upon, or pressured in any way. If she believed he wouldn’t hate every moment of it, she’d have simply set a date upon her yacht, her home, but that, for now was out of the question. As was a meeting in the Towers where he lived. Where his siblings lived.

Nevermind, The Caché was a nice room, a pleasant atmosphere with a spectacular view. Though neither she nor Dimitri had need of food, they could and did, at times, indulge in certain edible delicacies, a few of which would be served to them tonight. The waiter also would be serving her own wine as requested, though of course, for a surcharge, as Canlis was in it for the money. She paid well, tipping in advance for what she expected to be spectacular, and discreet, service.

The room lit only by candlelight, and the occasional twinkle of stars as they fought their way through the clouds, Ophelia took seat on the chaise, leaving the table for after Dimitri arrived. A cigarette was brought to her lips, quickly lit by the waiter, who knew to look aside from many city laws when it came to this room. The music of a by-gone era played softly in the background, music the two had so enjoyed in their days together, and in their travels. Perhaps it was played for his benefit, but in truth, this was the same music Ophelia most often found herself drawn to. Perhaps for good reason.

Ads by Project Wonderful! Your ad here, right now: $0

(Post a new comment)

ardent_malice
2008-03-23 08:26 am UTC (link)

Ophelia. Her mere name brought about a torrent of emotions within Dimitri. Part of him believed that he owed her nothing, that all attempts to reach him should be simply ignored and perhaps then she would understand that none wished for her to be there. But to do such would be to lie, not only to himself but to his family. As much anger as he still held, there were those of them that still wished for her to be there. Dimitri was among them. He did not trust her, not in the least, but what had been there before had not died.

She was still in his veins, still in his heart; time had not removed her as he had so wished for it to. Distance was placed to get her out of his mind and though he had moved forward and had other lovers, none had remained at his side. None truly drew him like she did. None could get under his skin so deeply....

He had tried to remove her from his life...but denying what was always there was never so easy.

Still though she was in the city he had little contact with her...but that hadn't been how it always was. In the beginning, when he first returned, she was often there. He owed her much and then...was in no state to deny the want for her to be there. No blood would better heal him and even though she was the one that could infuriate him like no other, she too could sooth him. Perhaps not the same as his twin could...but her presence had been a craved thing.

Slowly he healed...and slowly those walls too came back. That distance, those past wounds that were not simply forgotten. For Dimitri trust was paramount when it came to those he truly let into his life. And she had thrown that trust away. She had destroyed it and now he refused to allow himself back into that place.

He would not set himself up to be hurt in such a way. Not again. Not by her.

Request for this meeting came to him while he worked, papers were upon the desk and the computer glared harsh light upon his features. It was nothing pressing no, but it was work that still needed to be done. More then that it was a means to pass the time until later meetings or work that took him away from the office. The night held plans for both….and yet he had rescheduled it all.

Why? Because he could not shy away from her presence forever. He was not a man that ran from anything and even those he could stand and face. He knew it had need to be done….to see her, and decide truly which emotions would be allowed to truly hold him when it came to her now.

At the specify time Dimitri arrived. His suit was pristine, so rarely not put together when he ventured out. A suit of black and a tie of red. Quickly he was escorted back and those emotions again rose at the very sight of her. Conflicting, always fighting against each other….

He approached, giving greeting of a kiss upon the knuckles rather then that of a kiss upon both cheeks. “I trust I have not kept you waiting long.”

(Reply to this) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-03-24 04:47 am UTC (link)

No amount of time could erase what they once meant to one another. The blood would forever remain the same, the shared emotions and thoughts, the embrace of the souls… none of that could ever be erased, though now most of it now was only a memory.

It was a memory Ophelie had eventually accepted as keeping it such. Not what she wanted no. But what she wanted, she’d already had, and let slip, too easily, between her fingers.

But fate intervened, and a they were blood, there came a moment when they no longer could avoid a reunion. She’d seen him, touched him, soothed him. She nearly lost him completely. He drank her blood, and in the darkness looked upon her face. In that a fire that had never died was allowed a spark of life, hope perhaps that it should never have been given.

But it had nonetheless.

Even before he’s arrived Ophelia had risen, her dress smoothed, her reflection glanced, somewhat nervously in the mirror. His nearing presense brought a rise to the bat of he heart like only Dimitri ever could do. Likely he could feel it. And though Ophelia could seek to hide it, she did not.

A smile greeted him, and though she winced internally for the ache of missing his lips on her cheeks or lips, she cherished the touch to he hand instead. Had she need of brath he would have stolen it away.

“Not at all. I’ve been enjoying the view. This city you chose to settle can be startlingly beautiful.” The wine had been opened and poured. “I took the liberty, I hope you don’t mind.” She offered a glass to him as she lifted up her own.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-03-24 05:46 pm UTC (link)

What they had had was a memory that Dimitri had sought to keep as only that. Allowing it to fade away with time in order for him to move forward. And yet all that time had done little, as every time he saw her again those emotions, those memories, were there in startling clarity. Nothing had truly dulled…perhaps this was only proof that it never would. But if that were the case did that mean, in turn, that the heartache her image represented would linger on as well? Such a torturous thing to both love and hate another. To wish to hurt them near as much as you desired to kiss them…

He had no cast her away, he felt unable to nearly no matter how much easier it had been to simply live as though she had no place in his life anymore. There was no tension in the family then, no battle of wills or questioning glances. Such had returned…as he had briefly seen his twin before leaving and he knew the look she wore. The question of why that hung unspoken on her tongue.

She did not understand…and Dimitri could not make it make sense to another though he had tried endlessly long ago. The heart did not always listen to the logic you tried so desperately to preach at it. She’d been the first to truly get ahold of his heart and she still held it even now. She was scarred upon it.

She knew he had arrived, she knew he was there just as surely as he knew she would be a vision of beauty the second those doors were opened. She did not hide how he affected her but he hid how she still moved him. His face showed nothing but that careful calm, his hearts beat did not skip or flutter their beats. But always he was drawn to her…unnaturally so.

“Oui, It can.” Though to speak he choose to settle here would not be entirely correct. It was Julien that picked this city and the others that had fallen him here to it. Dimitri deep down was much like his sire, seeking to travel, to move and constantly see the world. But to mask that he kept himself eternally busy with work, always work, always something to keep the mind active and the energy flowing. Though quickly he was becoming aware that what he did now…was not enough.

It did not challenge him…and Dimitri needed that.

Dimitri turned, glancing out the window to the night sky. “Beautiful in its darkness.” Grey, the light falling rain clung to the windows, slipping down in gradually increasing droplets. Dimitri was actually quite fond of the weather, perhaps all the grey simply made the bright colors of the forest even more striking.

“You know that I would not.” In fact he preferred others see to their own drinks when waiting, he did not like to feel as though he were delaying them which was why more often then not, he was always so early to every set meeting. He took the offered glass, giving a slight raise of it without toast before taking a sip. It was a taste he recognized all too easily. “The last wine we shared.” The same type though years changed and subtle differences were there, it was still a taste of long ago.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-03-27 07:03 am UTC (link)

Maybe it was better for him that it all remain a memory. Maybe. Though the memories were tainted. For both of them. His with anger, and hers with remorse. There was however, no turning back the clock. For all their power of the natural world, that was one neither had, nor perhaps should they. Many lessons were best experienced, for the knowledge gained, rather than not. Not to say Ophelia would not have changed so much, but there was much to be changed, much she would forever have continued had Dimitri not so sharply opened her eyes to what she had…

And all she lost.

For years she held anger of her own, indignation based in denial of her guilt, until truthfulness, the honesty of her own heart, finally broke through it, painfully, nearly crushing her as it did. For many more years then, she suffered paralyzing sorrow, and mourned as a widow the love she once had and let slip so easily from her hands.

Time heals all wounds they say, and Ophelia eventually did learn to live again. The remorse would always remain however, but Ophelia chose strength, and wisdom, because of her past choices. Guarded however, of course. There had been no others to touch her heart, no others ever to be allowed in. To the outsider she had changed little, still social, still bubbly and charming at gatherings, but there was where it ended really. Her private moments had become more private, and more common.

Perhaps it was simply that nothing held the same vividness, the same sharpness of flavor it did when it had been shared with Dimitri.

Strange how just the sight of him could bring back so much color into her world, a world that never seemed dull or lacking, until his presence illuminated it.

Such strength he held even now. That had not changed in five hundred years. Little had, and yet… everything had. Perhaps it was cruel now that she was so completely open, so utterly honest, keeping nothing hidden. But she had learned her lesson, a hard learned lesson, and though she now was guarded with most, she was always completely honest. Especially with Dimitri. To hide any of what she felt would perhaps not be honest, even if it might be kinder.

“Much like France in those days.” And all of Europe really. Not the rain, no that they could have used more of then for it’s cleansing and healing qualities, but simply for the darkness, the stark dread that hung over much of the land. Death was as common then as life, if not more so, and though it was still many years behind “the dark ages”, such dreaded days still clung.

She had not drank any yet, but merely had it opened and poured. She wished to share it with him, all of it. There was memory in the taste, the scent, as much as in so much else they once shared. She smiled for his recollected, and nodded. “Oui. The one we shared more often than any other. You spoke then how the fragrance was much like me.” He smile broadened at the remembrance. “Bold and earthy and with a hint of fire.” The smile softened and turned more wistful as the other memories of the night filled her thoughts, and Ophelia thought she felt a slight flush in her cheeks.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-03-27 07:29 am UTC (link)

Easier...yes much would be easier if the past stayed simply as that. But Dimitri knew all too well that life was not one to be easy on any. Difficult times did come and go...and her presence was such to him. Difficult to stand before her and keep that distance, difficult to look upon her and not feel that pain that long ago had nearly crippled him. So many pains had been felt in his long life and yet there were some moments that never truly faded. The intensity of them lingered, buried back but never truly lessening. Dimitri did not believe that time healed all wounds...but only that time gave you means to find strength to move past it.

Not healed...not gone...but simply no longer consuming.

Difficult or not denying her presence would do little for either of them. He had sought to for centuries now and yet life had brought them together once again. She was in his blood, his mind, his heart...distance hadn't changed it and he now knew never truly would. Hope that it would had been lost some time ago.

Had she changed since that day? Learning that which he had thought she knew before, what he believed she understood? Perhaps, but Dimitri could not say he held any true trust in that fact. He was wary of her, with reason to be. Wary of all she stood for and for how deeply she could get under his skin. That distance was kept no matter that part of him that had want to let it go.

Betrayal was not so easy to forgive or look past. Especially not with a man like Dimitri and a past such as his own. Nothing angered him quite like that did. Nothing save harm to his family. She knew such and still had done as she did. That perhaps was where the deepest pain of it all had come from.

Now he stood, so near to her and still so far away. Her presence a sharp reminder to what had once been. Emotions he'd not felt for so long now. It is not until you no longer have something that you realize the importance of it. How everything else...lacks in comparison. A truth that he'd sought to deny for a very long time. But here the truth was...not even near enough to touch and yet there was an energy to the air that could not be compared to any others.

In a way he still loathed her for that. For meaning so much to him still after all these years. How much easier it would be if he could simply say he hated her.

"The world never seems to lose that feel no matter where we have traveled." perhaps it was only because he could sense such death and darkness so acutely. But he had his doubts...beyond all the attempts to show joy or progress the world still held a darkness that was so displayed in those old times. Much like everything else it was just pushed away, tucked under the rug so few could see it.

But it was there. Beyond the rain. Beyond this city.

His eyes stayed to the window as she spoke, though within its reflection he could clearly see her. That smile to her lips for fond memories of the past. Of nights where nothing else seemed to matter except the two of them. "Oui..." he spoke softly nearly, taking a slow sip of the crimson liquid. "It still is." vibrant, a bite against the tongue that only made you wish for more. Yes…it was still very much like her.

“It seems some things do not change…” he continued, turning away from the window to face her again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-03-28 03:19 am UTC (link)

Whatever trust Dimitri once held for her had been tested and found wanting and now it seemed, completely gone. Ophelia did not hold him to blame for his wariness, but rather knew where all blame lay, squarely on her shoulders. It had been him that trusted and she who trampled that trust. For such a thing there was no easy fix, and truly Ophelia was beyond a desire for anything easy in her life. And that came only from a true appreciation of the most valuable things in life. Those were never easy.

Still, the his wariness, though kept as much in check as his other emotions, hung over the room like a shroud. Perhaps it was simply her imagination, but no… everything now was in such stark contrast to before. The distance, the unease, the nervousness, all more painful than she’d expected. But worse than any of that was the anger. Yes, the anger, still there, though perhaps somewhat different. He’d not allowed it to fester as Ophelia might have had the table’s been turned. He’d not allowed it to change him, to harm him. Dimitri was stronger than that, and far too incorruptible. So much in him she had always admired. Such traits she’d never known altogether in one man.

But the anger still was there. Perhaps alive still as no justice had ever been found, no vindication, nothing but time and distance to soothe those wounds.

Did she understand the extent of what she’d done? Perhaps not, no more than any trespasser could feel the pain of their victim. That did not mean however, that she had not suffered for her transgressions, or felt remorse.

Or the deep emptiness that was the result of it all, the void left when all she had ever treasured was suddenly gone.

So many wanted long life, a life as long as the one Ophelia had lived, and would continue to live if fortune continued, and though Ophelia did not pity herself or others this like, she knew that this, like all else, had it’s disadvantages. Death seemed to follow them, even if it simply fell in it’s natural state, and all around them those they knew eventually aged and fell. The siblings at least, had not had to suffer that with each other, not until the death of Julien. But though Ophelia struggled always with the choice she’d made in turning them, at least they’d never had to watch each other succumb to fate’s cruel hand. And especially not at the young age in which it had wished to take them all.

She watched him, his back turned, taking in the sight of him she could never ignore, especially now. Until her eyes caught his in the window and she flushed faintly, the beat of her heart increasing as she licked her lips and brought the glass once more to her lips. He’d turned to face her then and the waiter, still in the room though forgotten, cleared his throat. Another smile, and Ophelia dismissed him courteously, explaining that the appetizers already in the room would do nicely for now.

“Perhaps.” She replied simply. She’d decided against a course of pleading her case. A person’s character spoke for itself. Words painted a picture of the self they might desire, but actions spoke the truth. And silence… told far truth more than words.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-03-28 03:53 am UTC (link)

Ophelia through all she had done, had become like heaven and hell to Dimitri. No other had quite lifted him up in the way she had. No one had truly made him feel as alive simply by their presence. And yet she alone had wounded him so that death seemed like the simpler end then moving forward. There was only one other in all his years that had made him feel that way. A man that he'd killed with his own hands and now, just like then, felt no remorse in. There was a time when he had wished to do the same to her. That night where it was the other that felt his wrath rather then she...had he not left he knew that such an end would have come for one of them.

But it took every inch of strength he had and then some to turn and walk away. Without his siblings he did not know if he would have been able to. Some weights were too much to bear no matter how much strength you held. Time had given him means to forge on however, to move past that all consuming anger. To not let it tear him apart bit by bit as it so easily could have.

yes he'd moved forward, he'd survived, but the anger had no truly subsided. It remained still, buried back against the heart that had spent centuries locked away from all save his family. There that anger would have remained till the end of his days had he not crossed her path again. And now...now he was uncertain truly what to feel at all. He felt both anger and ease when he looked upon her. Both sorrow and familiarity.

Torn between telling her to go and telling her to stay. Though he knew well where the opinions of his family lay in that. But in this...their opinions were not what swayed him. He knew them but to do only as they wanted would not do justice to what it was he deserved. Revenge? Closure? Not even he was fully certain. That questioning was why he was here.

Long years gave so much time...you lost and you gained and you lost again. A blessing and curse like so much else. Like the gift she gave the family, like her love, it was both.

Dimitri scarcely cared that the other still lingered in the room. Background to the thoughts but there was nothing for him to do here. Dimitri was the sort that rather serve himself then have another cater to him regardless. But it was more no other had need to stand amongst that tension. It was between them alone.

The other left, and for a time Dimitri spoke nothing, taking only sips of that familiar wine in the dim light of the room while the rain fell in fluctuating torrents. But after a time he moved, walking through the room to stand near to her. Fingers tracing light then against the cheek, barely a brush and yet that slight touch held more weight nearly then a slap. “And perhaps this weight between us is much the same.” Something that would not change….wounds cut too deep and ties cut too sharply to truly be mended…to be as they were.

That touch slipped away and Dimitri took seat near but not next to her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-03-29 11:06 pm UTC (link)

That night still haunted Ophelia. More now than in the nights that followed. Indignant then, unwilling to admit her guilt, still... it had been a slap in the face, a wake up call, the catalyst that opened her eyes to what exactly she once had had. And how all of that now was gone.

There was pain now, in that memory. Not for the man now long dead, not even for the anger in Dimitri’s eyes that night, or the hate written plainly on his face. No, the agony she suffered in that memory was for the pain in his eyes. For the look of loss and betrayal. It was a look that years later, by memory alone, would haunt her soul and be the impetus, the strength that moved her toward personal growth, maturity that so many years had yet to bring her.

It was his pain, a pain that had, though she then denied it, cut her as deep as her betrayal had cut him, that finally changed her.

Dimitri did well to hold much back from her, but just as she could sense hate, she also felt love. Unless that were just wishful thinking.

Strange how the habits of the living can live on, centuries after their short human lives ended. Such as the need for breath. No, vampires had none, but so much was expressed in gestures, emotions conveyed instinctively, such as the holding of breath, the quickening of it, or the release of a breath held for no reason other than that deeply ingrained habit.

Such was the case now, that sharp intake of breath, the soft soundly sigh for the familiar fingers on her cheek. Her eyes closed, cherishing the moment, the feeling. Her eyes opened again at his words, and though she wanted only to argue with them, she could not, but nodded solemnly.

She watched as he took a seat, thinking how now, following the touch, his distance was more keenly felt then a moment earlier, though then more actual space had separated them. Seated as well, she gestured toward the spread between them, all the elegant Hors D’oeuvres, reminiscent of their days in France. “I hope it’s to your taste.” She said, casually almost, willing her voice not to convey the trues sadness of emotion she felt. This was to be a happy moment, she hoped, or at least one not so heavy it stole the life from them both. Of course she knew they were all to his taste. Or at least once had been.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-03-30 12:52 am UTC (link)

Dimitri could not say that he was always a calm man. He was one capable of anger and one that could be pushed at times easier then he wished. But through his long years such...rage was rare to truly see from him. How quickly she had inspired it with one such act. A moment of total loss of control that Dimitri remembers only as a blurr. A rush of emotions that took him over before his mind truly had time to fully process what was happening.

He did not kill lightly. It was not something that he did commonly as some supenraturals did. His victims often were left alive; those that attacked were shown the foolishness of their choices. He did not like to think of death as the first choice to all situations. And yet that night...nothing else would have satisified him. He couldn't stop until the other loss all twitch of life and she....fingers itched to do the same. To harm the one who had harmed him. He knew why he couldnt. He knew why to this day he wouldn't.

Perhaps it was testimate to how deeply she had managed to get under his skin. As he had killed the man he called father without even blinking an eye when that pain took him over. It took all of his family to pull him away and even then it was too late. Yet he had walked from her...he turned and left with not a word. She deserved none.

Through the passing of years he'd still not given her a one towards that night. For him she would either come to understand why it had wounded him...or she would forever not understand. That was not in his hands. No matter how many times came and went where he wanted to find her and release all that anger that had been buried away and denied. It found small outlets in fights with others, attacks to others...they were only natural in a way when one lived so long. Enemies came and went.

She was both. Enemies and friend all wrapped into one. The deadliest of kinds. He knew well just how he should deny her. She had nearly made him fall to pieces, her presence was a chaos among the family that drew many of them apart. Still he could not deny her...to just touch her no matter how brief it was. A touch to awaken so many memories of more. The want for more such harshly denied as his fingers slipped away from her smooth skin.

"My tastes have not changed so through the passing of all these years." when it came to food it was still the tastes of that older world that he enjoyed. The food so commonly found in cities now was...not to his liking. Commercialized, so much lost its spice in these current years. Everything made bland for mass selling.

He took bite of one, to taste. It was well prepared...but nothing quite matched what he was still used to. "But it was not just food you wished to share Ophelia." Dimitri finally spoke after a long sip of that torturous wine. “What is it that you seek to see between us?” such meetings as these were both painful and comforting. Was all this to simply wallow in what would not be again? To remind each other what they’d lost?

Could things ever be cordial between them? A time where they could meet and not feel so strikingly that pain? He did not know.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-03-30 05:54 am UTC (link)

Unusual for their race perhaps, but Ophelia too, showed respect for the living. Certainly more so now than before, but she’d never been one to wantonly attack without cause. In fact, she rarely attacked at all. Her days now were as mundane as business meetings away from the glare of the sun then they were spent on midnight hunts. Not to say she never did so, but she was far more apt to take her blood from a donor, one tested and paid, or else from a bag, then from a victim on the street.

But she was quite obviously, no stranger to death, not even to violent death, and when Dimitri took the life of one that night, she knew, she knew by her ties to him, that the man was simply a substitute for her, that it was her neck he wished to crush, her life he’d rather see slip away.

Was that comment about the food only? Or something more? Ophelia felt a fool to be seeking out meaning in each little thing he said, as though Dimitri himself would not just come out with whatever he wished for her to know. He would. It was not like him to throw out subtle little hints. No, he spoke his mind, and would say what he wanted to say.

“Right to the point.” She seemed shocked, and was in a way, even if she was not surprised. Dimitri after all. No, he’d never been one to mince words. Never a man to take enjoyment in games.

“Something other than this.” she sighed finally. This, separation is maddening, the distance between us is excruciating.

“I don’t seek your friendship, or your love…” She paused, wondering if those words were a lie even to herself. “I don’t even ask for your forgiveness as I don’t find myself deserving…”

Her words drifted slightly. “I do want you to know… I understand now. I know how wrong I was. I know that I raped you, that I sinned against you, and that it was I that broke all that we were, I that shattered the perfect world we called Us.

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

Her eyes had not drifted from his, but held them tight, clinging to them nearly as she confessed. Red tears brimmed, threatening to spill over, but Ophelia blinked, holding them in.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-03-30 06:28 am UTC (link)

For Dimitri long life did not mean that the years should still away your respect for it. If anything such years had only made him respect those who's lives would never last as long. That did not mean, truly, that he respected humans as a whole but he respected life and what it meant. He did not believe anyone’s life deserved to be snubbed out so carelessly. If one could feed without death, then why kill? He rarely did, he didn't see the need and did not have such a lacking ego that he needed to kill in order to make himself feel bigger or stronger.

But that night there was no thought of life or perhaps that the man was innocent in all of it. The emotions ruled and before he came to truly realize what had happened the other was dead and he knew if he lingered a moment longer either she, or he, would join him. He had thought back on it at times...remembering the way she had looked, remembering the other...wondering at times if it all could have prevented. Perhaps many would care not at all. If words had not been spoken likely he would have found way to understand it. But it was the words...the promise broken...that truly had crushed him.

His words now...were for everything. For the food, for the tastes, for her. So many years had passed and all were still compared to her. Every kiss, every caress. It was near maddening. Those that managed to share his bed always shared trait to her in some way and yet never fully satisfied. Centuries wanting what you loathed. Dimitri came to understand that in this he'd have no peace. He spoke of it little but his twin knew how she still plagued him. All urged him to simply let her go and for so long he'd had them all convinced he had. Even himself.

But she was still a ghost that haunted him. Never fully rid of her...all the blood from his veins could be drained away and still beneath the flesh she'd remain. Always.

"Oui, to the point." When it came to matters of the heart, to the emotions, Dimitri did not feel the need to play games or dance about the issue as she might. He rather face it head on, find way directly to the core of the pain and deal with it rather then skirting it out of fear of truly feeling. He had danced around all of this pain for too long now. Avoiding, denying, but near or far she was always there with all of them.

Better to face her now then to simply shove her away again thinking it would do anything at all.

Dimitri leaned back as she spoke, watching her as the words slipped past her lips. Words he knew were not all together true. She did seek more...she sought what had once been. No...her heart sought even if the mind told it otherwise. He could feel it. Like an ache to the gut.

He stared at her...and for a long time could speak nothing. For so long he knew she didn't understand. he knew when it all happened that she looked at him with a sneer to her lips for his actions. That he was the one that had wronged her for leaving. She did not understand the why or just how badly she had cut him. It was foolish to think she would have. But he had hoped, wanting to believe.

Perhaps he had set himself up for the fall. Asking what she had no desire to really give. To think that he was enough for one so determined to play.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

ardent_malice
2008-03-30 06:29 am UTC (link)

"I know." and yet he could not bring himself to say that he did forgive her. He did not. But he had not forgiven himself either for being so careless. He let himself fall too quickly. He lost control and gave it all to her. He'd never allow that to happen again. "We both made foolish mistakes." mistakes that destroyed something that could have been strong.

"Hindsight as they say..." his words were calm, so very controlled, lacking all that which boiled within. Though he'd made his fair share of mistakes between them it was still she that spoke words she did not mean. She could never have. She could have kept silent. She could have been honest. Lies always tore everything apart.

He pushed to his feet again, needing some sort of movement no matter how small. Away from the food that he had no desire now to eat. Away from the wine that reminded him so much of her. Even now he could nearly taste her upon his tongue though it had been months now since he'd had that last taste.

He stood and took an unneeded breath, bringing himself back towards the window. Standing near it as a cigarette was put to his lips and lit finally.

“Understanding does not cure the distance.”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-04-03 04:58 am UTC (link)

Now it was he that spoke words that cut. Ophelia didn’t blame him for it though, nor had she truly expected anything different. He was a strong man, a proud one. Wasn’t that what had drawn her? Had he been so easy as to just say oui madam and crumble at her feet, well it would have certainly have been easier on them all, but would it be desired? He was wronged, and hurt, and rightfully angered. It was only right that he should hold her to task for what she had done. Would he ever forgive her after? Could there be a time when he saw beyond? Perhaps, perhaps not, but none would come before before she was held accountable for her deeds.

But she couldn’t stand to think what he meant in his words. Did he believe loving her had been such a mistake? Her composure faltered, her strength slipped slightly as that thought nearly drove her to her knees at his feet. It was what he deserved some might say, and nothing more. They truly were from a different age, and age where men and women were not quite so equal as they were today, at least not in so many ways. It was not unusual in those days to hear of a man taking his wife over his knee with a belt, or even worse, to beat her. Dimitri had never been like that. Nor would it please him to find Ophelia on her knees. But the temptation was there, the urge to humble herself, to prostrate herself, the sire to the child, to beg him to love her again despite it all.

But love did not work that way. And if she didn’t understand this before, she most certainly did now. What they had shared had been special, a thing to be forever cherished (as she now did), not cheapened and dishonored as she once had so casually and easily done. There was indeed, intense shame now for what she had done.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” She spoke finally. And left it at that. She was sorry he believed it a mistake and knew the blame was completely her own. But not only was hindsight so keen, the real cruelty was that it got to watch over and over your past choices without ever once offering the opportunity to change them.

His words frustrated her, painting the truth as they both knew it, pointing out the distance between them and how impossible it now was. He faced away and she bit her lip, a young girl’s expression that only he could ever bring about from her. Her hand ran back through her hair at the temples and suddenly she was behind him. Impetuous, but as he said, understanding would not cure the distance. Perhaps action would. Her arms wrapped around him and she spoke into his ear. “Show me your anger, Dimitri. Release what you’ve denied us both all these years.” Though it might kill her or kill them both, this was honest, it was what she deserved, what he deserved. And was, the only way to break through those walls.

Unless of course, he preferred the distance.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

ardent_malice
2008-04-04 05:38 pm UTC (link)

Such words spoken were not to cut but to speak the truth of the matter. Both had made many mistakes in their time together and such was what brought them to this point. Every wrong step, every moment where they lacked judgment. It had not been a mistake to love her, but it had been a mistake to expect more from her then she was able to give at that time. If then she was the woman she now was, such words perhaps would not have been so foolish. But then…she was not one that saw the point of only being with one. She did not understand, then, why it was Dimitri asked for such promises. Such long years with one…he understood the need for different tastes. But at the time it was asked for confirmation that he was the one she really wanted. He needed the reassurance….the certainty….

And he’d not received it.

Dimitri was a strong man yes, a proud man that did not fall easily for any. But though strong when it came to matters of the heart, he was vulnerable. He did not allow any into his life easily and most that knew him didn’t really know him at all. Dimitri was a man that kept most at arms length…and yet so quickly she’d been allowed in. She knew him better then many…and yet in a way hadn’t known him at all. He had thought she understood…and came harshly to find she did not. Now he believed she did…and yet the damage was done. Those wounds persisted, the past giving way to such high walls now. He was not eager to let her in again, to take that risk that could make him nearly crumble once more.

He wasn’t certain he could take that again. Not from her.

But she was correct that it would not please him for her to fall to her knees before him. Though in the world they had once lived in that was the way for one to beg for forgiveness…it was never how he truly wished for another to be before him. He did not want her humble and begging. He did not need her hands clinging to him to see that she now understood. He knew she did…but he did not know if that was enough. Even in looking at her now and seeing that understanding and still lingering love in her eyes, there was a part of him that wanted to turn away from her in disgust. To turn and leave her behind…perhaps then she’d truly understand the pain.

That part of him was not enough to make him actually do so. He came here as she requested. He stayed of his own free will. But through it all he did not know if he believed this meeting would change anything at all.

“Missteps were made on both our parts. I will not place all the blame on you.” He understood now that he had helped to pave the way for how things had gone. He could not, and would not, change loving her. But if he had chance to do it all over again with the knowledge he held now…he would do some things differently. If that would prevent the way things now, however, he did not really know. Perhaps it was inevitable. They were two very different people back then.

Her touch made his body tense, a stillness falling over him to combat the desire to simply lean into that touch and pretend that nothing at all of the past mattered. “Show you my anger…” he spoke in a tone half amused and half angered. He moved then, just as quickly as she, quicker then he ever could have in those long years ago when they had been together. Wrists were snatched up, her back finding the wall with her arms up above her head. “Do you think it that simple? As though I am a man that would be satisfied by simply beating you until all frustration is gone?” his words held edge, a near growl for the offering.

Once he had wanted to kill her as she killed the man she took to her bed. But never before that moment had he ever wished to lay a hand on her like that. No amount of physical pain was the same as the internal. What is it she really asked for? Did she really think that striking her would make all of this better for him?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-04-07 05:14 am UTC (link)

Quick it might have seemed, to him, most certainly to his family. And in a way, it had seemed quick to Ophelia, given the years she already had behind her. But it hadn’t been so quick, now had it? They’d grown close, a friendship formed, a bond to increase their ties, based on mutual passions, not simply a sharing of blood. It was that bond, the friendship lost, that at first began to tear at her, to reveal how empty she truly was in his wake.

A caress of the flesh could come from anyone. But for one to touch your heart and soul, that was a true rarity, and it was that which she ached for.

Though soon enough even the touch of others paled in comparison and left her feeling emptier than ever.

The sudden tension ran through his form, and into her own. She fought it, and instead offered him her warmth (having recently fed), and a touch, a simple nearness that on it’s own had once soothed. The speed in which he suddenly turned surprised her. He was far more agile, far stronger, than he had been then, though that was no true surprise. Many years had passed after all. She did not fight him. Even if a part of her wanted to.

“I don’t think it simple at all. But I think…” Her eyes locked onto his, peering deep now as she’d for so long not been allowed. For a moment her words faltered. “I think as long as you keep it to yourself you will never again allow me near you. That every time you see me it will be like picking at a wound that still lives, still festers within you.

“I think revealing it will hurt us both a lot more, but will at least bring it to the surface.”

She blinked finally. “If it makes you feel better to beat me then go ahead, but no, I do not believe you a man to find satisfaction in that.” She answered honestly. He was nothing like the man he once called father.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-04-07 05:51 am UTC (link)

That connection had not been allowed at first instance no, but given Dimitri's nature it had seemed quick. Especially now compared to the long years after her where no others were allowed such place. Even his family at times now were kept at a distance. Dimitri had come to understand that the world was not one where you could share everything with one person. Not family or lover. Such had been proven with Ophelia, such was proven with the family. But he could not deny that he missed what had once been. More then all that friendship. Such he lacked now. A new city where there were souls known but none so close as to speak to them on all felt or questioned. And when it came to she, he could speak to none.

The family had made clear that she was a topic not to be broached. It was...infinitely frustrating at times. Little Chloe was the only one that would allow such words and she he did not speak to not wishing to put her in the middle. Ophelia was not the only one that had come to feel empty...lacking....in the passage of these years. But it was easier to feel empty then to feel betrayal.

At his back he could feel the steady beat of a heart that had flesh blood to give it that false life. He could feel the warmth of her hand to contrast the vague chill of his own. But her presence did not sooth. Not with the words spoken. No that nearness only drew out of him that anger. Anger for just how he did not want that distance.

"Some wounds forever fester." Dimitri spoke, fingers curling there about her skin, a presence that so easily could bruise if he put just a little more pressure to it. Not that her own form would hold such a wound long. "I have no room for that anger to take me. I have had none since the moment it came to pass." hurt as he had been he had to bury it back. He knew it a sense that his sisters had felt only justified by that pain and though they did not want to see him hurt it proved their point now hadn't it? No there had been no true time to mourn. He buried it back, he kept strong, it was what he was always required to do.

"What is it you seek? For me to yell? Scream? Speak all you already know? You know my anger Ophelia. You see it. You feel it." She knew well that striking her would not bring him satisfaction.

One thing he had sought, in all his years, was to never be that man that he’d once called father. He’d not become like him now.

But he’d not fall to pieces here before her at her demand. When he left here he had a life he had to return to. A family that would sense all too easily such turbulent emotions. And what then would he say when pushed with questions they did not really wish answers to? They all knew Ophelia was here but the two choose to ignore the fact as though that would make it go away. That is how it had been treated since the moment they left her side. Yet they wondered why at times he had need to simply travel alone. Why he did not speak all so openly.

Dimitri uncurled his fingers and pushed back from her with a sigh.

She exhausted him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-04-08 06:07 am UTC (link)

His fingers could bruise if he so wished. Indeed, they could do far worse. And much better. She wondered if this touch, vague as it was, affected him now as it did her.

She sighed as angry, frustrated words tumbled from his lips. “What I seek, is something more than this.” She uttered softly, truthfully. “Neither here nor there, it seems an eternal limbo in which neither of us is ever fully happy.” She tilted her head, regarding him sadly. “What is it that you want, Dimitri? Are you happy without me? Truly so?” She thought she knew the answer.

He let go and moved away, leaving her to feel with a sharp pang the empty space around her, the phantom feel of his fingers, of his lips so near her own.

“Tell me that you are, that your life is better, more complete, content without me. Tell me that you never ache for me…” She stood before him again, not even remembering having closed the distance between them. Her hand rested on his strong chest, the other on his broad shoulder. “Tell me,” she whispered, her lips so near his own, her heart pounding, pushing hard against her chest. “and I’ll leave you now. All you have to do is tell me,” she breathed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ardent_malice
2008-04-08 04:50 pm UTC (link)

The touch of course affected him. Though he’d like to speak that it did not, that her presence held no sway, such words would be nothing but a lie. A lie to himself as much as to her. Perhaps she deserved such lies, such strong words against the truth of the matter. Against any other such lies would work, they’d cut and give that craved distance. But she knew better. She knew by the look in his eyes and the tension rushing beneath the flesh. She knew by the grip of his hands and how he had to push away from her.

All these years and she affected him still. No matter the hate. No matter all the reasons he had to simply turn away. It was what his family wished for, to simply cut her away. But they still loathed her for what she did to them. They could not think beyond that even after all these years, even knowing they’d be dead now and never had chance for all they had seen and done, without her.

Dimitri held true reason to loath…and yet it was not enough. Not enough anger to kill out all else felt towards her. Not enough hurt to burn away how deeply he cared for her still.

What did he want, such a loaded question that few asked anymore. Likely they did not as they knew that here was not what he wished for. The life was too monotonous. The tasks dull. The excitement lacking. He always had craved far more, he was meant for more then this. Caring for an apartment complex that had little need for him. This was Julien’s dream, his desires, not Dimitri’s own. He knew he did the job well…but did that mean that he wished to stay for only that?

No he stayed because of his family. And yet the longer he stayed the more distance he craved. Distinct choices separated them and they were unwilling to budge, to see, even as it pushed them apart. Stubborn, they all were, but Dimitri would never hold distance over them because they did not make the choice he wanted them to. Yet they did to him.

Being…still…like this was maddening.

Dimitri’s eyes locked on her own as she approached and he stood, unbudging, as she placed her hands upon him and spoke words that she already knew. She only wished to hear it. Hear what she already knew, as though by speaking it he could no longer deny her.

“You know that I can not speak such.” Dimitri spoke. He’d not utter the lies. But he had known such for some time…and yet had not gone running back to her as she wished for. He was unhappy without her, but would he truly be happy with her? Knowing then he had his family against him. No choice was correct.

His hands smoothed down her arms, drawing himself closer with one step. “I ache to be without you, as I have ached for years now.” Lips hovered so near to her own, just a breath away. “And I will ache to have their anger against me for all choices made. As I ached long ago when I was with you.” There was no peace, no happiness, when such important pieces of your life could not coexist.

Just a touch, a brush against those tempting lips. “Goodnight Ophelia.” He needed to go, he needed to think…

He drew away from her slowly and turned to go, resisting that urge to look back. If he looked back the decision would already be made. The heart and the mind…always at such war.

Dimitri had to decide which to allow to win.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

haunted_npc
2008-04-19 08:36 pm UTC (link)

Ophelia knew. Of course she knew. How could she not? By the strength behind it, the power of his emotion, and the futility of his lies. She knew, and the pain in her heart was all the greater because of it. It was because of her he lied. Not a thing that came natural to Dimitri, but a thing he felt compelled to for her. It hurt to think she’d brought him to this. No, she knew she’d brought him to much worse. She owned up to that now. The sorrow for it all was in her very presence as much as in her eyes and her words.

He knew her reasons for speaking as she did. Knew and yet, it did not still her from speaking them. Of course she wanted to hear that he loved her, that he wanted only to be forever at her side. She wanted to hear this because she ached to be forever at his side. Seeing him had only emphasized how lonely she had become.

A brush of lips, and such strength in his conviction as he turned away from her. Ophelia’s fingers touched her lips where his own had just been, suddenly feeling the loss of him even more profoundly as he slipped further away after just the hint of hands and lips upon her. “Until next time, my love.” She whispered behind him, her mind reaching out to envelop him, to caress him as she willed him to look back at her. She didn’t believe he would, but neither did she try to force it. No, he needed time away, time alone. If he returned, if he followed, it would be by his own desire, not hers. It was that which she most wished for.

(Reply to this) (Parent)