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Sophocles Jones ([info]felonious_punk) wrote in [info]haunted_roads,
@ 2008-03-09 04:26:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:bastian, sophie

Week Three: Sunday
Who: Sophie and Bas
Where: Studio7
When: Sometime between 9:30 and 10:30
What: Ummm... Hi Daddy!

The Stepford Wives. First night at Studio Seven, though not their first night anywhere. This was, by far, their biggest gig yet, even if Studio Seven specialized in local acts. Still, how they did here would make all the difference in theith immediate futures. It was a foot in the door kind of venue and whether you did well here or sucked, it would enfluence whether others hired you. Not to mention the exposure was the absolute best they could hope to have at this juncture.

Like their audience and even the club employees, most of The Stepford wives had something in their system. But they weren’t complete idiots and none wanted to be wasted tonight. At least not yet. After the show would be a great time for that. They’d all done a few lines, shared an eight ball just before they took the stage. Gave them great energy, though Sophie had balance it, took a little of the edge off, by smoking a bowl. She wanted energy, not anxiety.

Needless to say, she was beyond happy with her feeling, and just as happy with the sound of their set. Even better, the feedback they were getting from the audience. That was a greater high then any of the other shit any of them put in their bodies.

The set began with an intense energy with Burn ‘em Down and continued when Sophie took ver the lead vocals on the lewd Cumming into My Own. With the audience reeling she carried them straight into a caustic cover of the Distillers’ Hate Me. Finally, after Psycho Bitches out of Hell Sophie relinquished the vocals once more to concentrate her energy on guitar, and a nice glass of water. That Distillers song was hell on her throat.

God this was fun. Too bad Maggie would never appreciate it the way Sophie did. Not to mention she really would freak on some of the shit coming out of her little girl’s mouth.



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[info]better_days
2008-03-10 04:23 am UTC (link)
The days went on. One after another with no real progress made. Constantly he made stops by the bar with no luck, that sinking dread that the place just wasn't open anymore was starting to take hold. Maybe they had all moved on, left this city behind them and went off to find better things. It was a nicer thought then the one of them simply not being around anymore. He'd done what he could to try to assure himself that they were still alive but only so much could be done when you had so little to work with. He'd gone to the library, flipped through newspapers and files seeking to find some sort of answers. Deeds of sale for the bar, something really. But his time was limited with only the night on his side...

Time was limited when you knew you were being hunted from the shadows. He had no doubt that she was somewhere in the city...and if she wasn't those that worked with her were. The man at the hotel already told Bastian that a few had come looking for him there...but none were the ones he was hoping for. He closed the messaging service, thanked the guy and went on his way.

A new hotel every night. sometimes just shelters, sometimes the streets themselves. It wasn't the first time he'd slept on them...and times felt nearly like they did back then. When it felt like the bottom had given out and you just couldn't stop falling.

Bars had become his frequent home even though the cash was running out. There were a few that let him serve drinks or wipe down tables to pay off his tab. There had even been an old man at one bar that recognized him and told Bastian he could perform for his drinks...but Bastian declined. He hadn't touched a guitar in over eight years...he didn't think he had any music left in him. Had to have some life to play and life was bleeding out of him.

He knew he needed to get out of the city. Hit the road again, keep moving to avoid being found again. He knew lingering just ensured she'd get him again and he knew once she did that she was not going to be happy. Bastian had pissed her off more then once and it was never pretty. He had the scars to prove it. Everything logical in his brain said just move on already....leave the town, give up. They were better off without him now....

But the heart...it wouldn't let him go. Clinging to something that could very well be gone and only get them into trouble. He needed to think of them first, needed to leave so they didn't get caught up in all of this. But weren't they already? He didn't know what to really do. Nothing was right and every path felt to be running him into a dead end.

Tonight he didn't even really know how he ended up here. A group in a bar had started up about some bands playing tonight and in their eagerness they'd gone and tried to drag the entire bar over to Studio Seven. It was a woman offering to buy him some drinks that got him up and moving. Older woman that seemed to get that he really wasn't looking for anything at all except the bottom of a bottle to numb out the pain for a bit. Just for a few minutes. Just an hour maybe. Then he'd be up again. Then he'd go by the bar with that hope there only to drop back down to his feet in a striking blow.

To the top floor where the bar was located was Bastian. He couldn't see the stage, he wasn't really focused on the music. He didn't let himself much anymore...was just something else lost to him. The woman had set him up with a bottle on her tab and gave a squeeze to his arm before going off with her friends.

Bastian gave a thanks before she went...and started the process of finishing the thing off. But try as he might to just ignore everything around him, something about a few of the songs had drawn his attention. Not the songs so much but the voice. It wasn't one he recognized, eight years gone and times had changed. But still more then once it had drawn his eyes up, peering across the way as though he could see the stage.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-10 06:13 am UTC (link)
The heart made people do stupid things. Like Maggie especially. Sophie heard her still, sometimes, crying in her room all alone, when she thought Sophie was asleep and would hear her. Sophie knew. Hell, she’d spent her own share of nights crying. But for her it had been different, now hadn’t it? Of course, she knew the old man cried sometimes too. Sophie went by to see him every single day without fail. Sometimes it was obvious what he’d been doing. Red eyes and all. Sophie didn’t make it obvious she noticed. Kind of hard not to with pictures of all of his lost family around. All of them gone. Just… gone. Shit had to fucking hurt.

Yeah, the heart made everything really fucking painful sometimes.

But Sophie’s heart, at the time being, was on the stage. Here she poured her heart into each and every song. She played and sang like it was her first time and her last time. She loved it. Always had. She played like one who knew the instrument intimately, and in a way Sophie did. It was a guitar that had meant a lot to her.

A guitar that belonged to her old man.

Maggie had put up a fight actually, not wanting Sophie to take the guitar out of the house, but Sophie generally ended up sneaking it out. When she was caught, she just dealt with the consequences. The way she figured, he wasn’t coming back… it as hers by way of heredity. And she respected it all the more because of it. It had been his, his fingers had once stroked the chords the same as hers now did. In fact… it had been on this guitar, and on the other, the accoustic, that Bastian had taught his little girl to play those chords.

Their set lasted an hour and when it was done they broke down their set, stored their gear, and made their way back in to the club to mingle. Sophie’s ID said she was of age, and the management wasn’t arguing. She and a few other’s set up at a table near the back to listen to the next band. Not that there was enough room. Old dude at the table next to their’s was all alone though, maybe they could get him to share. The drummer leaned in to ask him and Sophie nearly leaped out of her skin.

She sat transfixed, staring, gone cold it seemed, so others were shaking her asking if she was okay.

All Sophie could do was stare. “Yo man, Sophie snap the fuck out of it. What the fuck?”

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[info]better_days
2008-03-10 06:31 am UTC (link)
The heart could make you live...and the heart could make you feel dead even though it still beat. The heart had been used to wound Bastian more then once in the last few years. Whenever he acted out just a bit too much, whenever he pushed too far, he was reminded of the past...images flashed before the mind of just how they could be dead. Or if not dead already...how easily she could make them so. So many threats of having their bodies dragged in for him....

The heart made him do things he never wanted to think about again. The heart made him survive when too many times he thought about just giving in and letting that last bit of blood drain out. So many times he could have pushed her. Continued to speak when she sought to silence him, press the bottoms till she lost it and silenced him forever. But the heart made him live on. The heart and its hope for something that had long ago been taken from him.

The heart and hope. Foolish, forsaking, hope.

What had he really expected to find when he returned? Who would believe after all these years that he was ever coming back? Who would wait...who wouldn't move on. He hadn't...but he hadn't lived in a world where there was room to move on. He hadn't lived the normal everyday where you had no choice but to accept that someone wasn't coming back. He hadn't moved on...because they were all he had. The only thing to keep him together.

Look how together he was now...

Hope was giving out...and so was the heart.

The music played on, that feeling kept creeping along Bastian's skin only be to be drowned out by the bottle. Not near enough, one gone and he barely felt the affects of it. No drink was ever going to be strong enough to dull this feeling out. No drug enough to make him forget everything around him. He'd done it all, tried every sort...

But in truth as much as he kept downing those shots...he didn't want to forget.

One band onto the next, Bastian barely even noticed now. The bottle was gone, one single last shot was sitting on the table. Dark eyes were staring down into it, watching his reflection mirrored in the amber liquid. A worn appearance of a man that he didn’t truly recognize anymore. He hadn’t aged, not a day, but it was obvious that he wore weight upon him that hadn’t been there before.

Darkness under the eyes, a new scar or two hinting against the flesh. Weary…but still him. A face she’d remember even if her own was foreign to him now. Grown up, changed, matured. Not a kid anymore…

The group showed at his side, Bastian’s eyes stayed trained. Staring down, lost, waiting for the night hours to slip away from him. He didn’t notice anything until someone said the name Sophie. How many times had he heard that name in his travel? Even Maggie. And each time he’d look up quickly only to be disappointed with the face he was greeted with. It was nearly enough to make him not glance up.

But he did, slowly turning green eyes away. Looking straight at her…

Different…changed…but he knew her eyes….

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-10 07:31 am UTC (link)
The bar. Sophie had loved it when she was a kid. The Barking Spider. I was as much her home as her Grandpa's house had been. But none of it was the same anymore. Oh sure, the Barking Spider was still there. just... not at all the same. For one thing, it had been closed more than open the last month. Was supposed to be open like Wednesday through Saturday, or even sometimes Thursday through Sunday. Point was, it was always open on the weekend.

But it hadn't now for weeks.

Every day it was going to open again, but every day it still was not. Sophie knew what the problem was. Health department, the alcohol commission, and whatever other agencies were breathing down their necks. Gramps and Maggie spent every day arguing the fact and supposedly it was all fixed but every few days they'd come back, after being nearly begged, and every time they'd find something new wrong.

Sophie had the sneaking suspicion Daren the demon had something to do with it. (No, she had no idea what he really was, just really did not trust him) Of course there was no evidence. But he did keep saying he'd help and yet huh, funny thing, nothing was helping. Nice ties you had there, weenie.

Bar was still closed. And Gramps was losing more and more money. And what was going to happen to them all when he lost all his money and couldn't make rent?

Sophie needed a job. Kind of sucked she was so young. And yet, she really wanted to go to college.

Oddly enough, though she'd just played such an exciting set, all that went out her head and it was all this other stuff she though of as she stared down the tired looking guy at the table next to them.

No, not just some tired looking guy. Her father. Bastian. he looked exactly the same. Tired, but the same.

Why?

"Who are you?" She demanded finally, ignoring the guys around her. "Who the fuck are you?" Not her father. It couldn't be. He was dead, or at least way older than this.

Or something.

Sophie suddenly felt way too sober.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-10 03:48 pm UTC (link)
The bar….the bar had always been home for Bastian. A constant in his life that had always made him feel better. No matter the rough night, no matter all the crap, he felt better when he came back to that bar and felt like he was home. Now going there only brought dread to his heart. Walking that familiar road was no longer familiar and the sights he saw there were not what they used to be. Locked doors, dark windows….

So many nights had been spent sitting there. Waiting through all the night hours for just one person to show. He stayed until the dawn chased him away and then was back with the fall of the next night. A waiting game that ate at him….seeping away that hope that the bar remained though the house was gone. Nearly every night he was there…but more then a few nights he’d been kept away…kept by that feeling in the shadows that he knew were eyes watching.

They knew he’d be at the bar. She knew exactly where he would go…

Was she amused by how many nights he’d spent there gaining nothing? Likely she wore a smirk for that heavy weight that had begun to crush his heart. But if she ever thought he’d return willingly because of it…she was wrong. Bastian had no plans to return…

But he’d had no plans to leave in the first place either…and look how he had. Never by choice, not by want…but in the end he was still gone. Some part of him expected anger at his return, a quick lashing of words to strike against the soul. He’d understand it, how could they not be angry? How could they not doubt him after so long…

Here as he stared down into that lone glass so many thoughts raced through his mind. He wondered what their lives were like now. He wondered how the old man had held up…and what his little girl now looked like. But always those thoughts turned dark…twisting to the questions of what if. What if they weren’t alive at all. What if the bar was nothing more then a locked up tomb of memories that would never be again.

What if he was as alone as she so often tried to convince him he was.

He didn’t like the thoughts, he couldn’t take them. Yet still they persisted, mirrored in that reflective surface. It was nearly enough to make him pick up the glass and hurl it. Perhaps that would have been the end of the night for him…had he not seen those eyes.

Sophie’s eyes. The eyes of a child that he had not seen in over eight years. A child that wasn’t a child at all. No, she was a woman that didn’t believe what she saw…but she wasn’t the only one. It took a lot to not reach out to her. To resist that overwhelming desire to ignore her fear and confusion and just grab her up. God he had missed her…she had been, and was, everything to him. From the moment she was born.

Bastian had to close his eyes for a moment, taking a breath that wasn’t needed. “You know who I am.” He returned but already he could feel the eyes turning towards them. The scene made and the whispering starting. Whispering that would spread through the bar and then down below…below and out the doors to eyes and ears of people he didn’t want to know.

“You know…and I need you to trust me enough to let me explain somewhere away from here.” Bastian opened his eyes, looking back at her. “Please” the tone was far calmer then he felt but that one word held more begging them any intertwined fingers and being on ones knees ever could.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-11 06:56 am UTC (link)
Of course she knew who he was. Didn’t make any damn sense, but she knew. It ws him. Maybe someone could fake the hair, even the dimples, the rest of the face. But Sophie knew his voice, she remembered it, and his eyes. She’d never forget those eyes. And here they looked back at him from a face that looked an exact copy of the worn picture she carried around in her wallet.

“What’s going on?” Voices around her. Friends, but right now Sophie ignored them. Her eyes were trained on the apparition before her. Maybe she was hallucinating. Maybe someone had slipped something in her drink. No matter, she wanted to see where this went. If it was an hallucination it wasn’t like anything she’d ever heard of before, too damned real, and without any of the other signs. No tracers, no anything. No, she was totally in the here and now, her mind as sharp as her eyes and ears.

She nodded, then shrugged off the hands on her arms. Without pulling her eyes off Bastian she answered her concerned bandmates. “It’s ok. Someone I used to know. You guys have fun, I’ll call you later.” With that she stepped toward Bas and held out he hand to him.

God, did this feel weird.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-11 03:28 pm UTC (link)
So long had passed between them, part of him wondered if she truly would remember him at all. She was young then, young enough that her mind could have chosen to forget rather then remember. She was young enough for memories to blur and for faces to lose their clarity. But part of him had hoped that she wouldn’t forget, that she’d remember as clearly as he did….and another part of him had hoped she would, indeed, forget. To maybe ease some of the pain for her. Pain that she should have never had to feel.

Pain none of them should have had to be consumed by.

His little girl…looking at her now was such a slap to the face. He had missed her life, a great portion of her years simply stripped away and nothing would ever get them back for him. Important moments that he was now so unaware of. He had no idea who she even was now…what did she like? Obviously music but that wasn’t enough. He wanted to know all about her. He wanted to know her again.

If he had need to breathe he wouldn’t have been then. He sat still, almost eerily so as he watched her, waiting for her reply. She could have turned him down, sneered and baulked at his presence here. He was waiting for the lashes of words and the accusations of just where he could have been all the time. Part of him expected nothing more then anger no matter how badly he needed something else.

The others were there, background to the scene but Bastian didn’t pay them any mind. Who they were, what they said, that wasn’t what was important to him. They weren’t Sophie, they weren’t the ones he needed to trust him right now. He knew it was asking a lot…perhaps it was asking for too much.

But he knew they couldn’t stay here. It wasn’t a talk he was going to have in the open like this. There were too many questions to answer, too much to say, to hear.

Someone I used to know… such an impacting statement. It seemed to echo off the walls for Bastian. Yes…that’s all he was right now. Someone she once knew. A ghost from the past that came to haunt the present. Bastian spoke nothing in return to the words, he had nothing more to say until they were away from here.

He quickly pushed to his feet, taking that offered hand and moving then without hesitation. He didn’t pull, didn’t rush her along frantically, but he did move. Steps one after another to lead them out of Studio 7 and towards a car that wasn’t his own. He wasn’t exactly proud of stealing but he’d needed means to travel. The thing was a junker no one would miss, but he only used it for a day, maybe two, before leaving it somewhere.

He stayed silent. Too silent as he drove them through the city streets and parked them behind a near by hotel. He’d purchased the room just as night fell. He planned to stay a night, then leave just like all the others before it. Tonight he wouldn’t be sleeping though. It wasn’t the safest of places but right now he couldn’t think of anywhere else quiet for them to talk that wasn’t in the open.

The engine was killed, Bastian got out of the car and took her hand again, leading her to the room. Plain, boring, like so many other rooms….

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-12 04:21 am UTC (link)
Forget her father? Not hardly. She’d been young, but not that young. Besides, even at that young age her intelligence quotient had already revealed itself to be quite high. Sophie remembered everything, and even after he was gone, spent long moments making even more memories of him. She watched old family videos, listened to tapes of him singing, silly things he’d done just for Maggie and more serious stuff when he’d been a teen.

Pictures. She’d gone through so many with her mother and with her grandfather, she thought they might break from all of it. Of course, they hadn’t, and in a way it had seemed a little therapeutic. Except nothing could ever heal when a loved one just up and went missing. Sadly for John, it had happened to both of his children. What a blessing he saw in Sophie and she promised him daily almost that she would never ever leave.

The pain of losing him hurt, but in a strange way she knew, not the same as it hurt Maggie and John. Sophie had eventually put it behind her, but they never had. For them the book could never be closed. But for Sophie, perhaps it had never been opened quite so far.

Not to say she’d ever forgotten… maybe just chalk it up to the resilience of childhood.

To say that she was angry now would be a bit of an understatement. But anger was the least of the emotions she was feeling. Not even confusion topped the list. In fact, the emotion she felt more than anything was the one she refused to act on. Elation. What she wanted more than anything in that moment was to just throw her arms around him and hug him… and let all of those years between them slip away.

It was what she wanted. That she didn’t spoke volumes more about the girl she had become than about how much he truly meant to her.

His hand… not nearly as big as it had once seemed. But in fact, just as strong, if not chilled to the bone it seemed. Still, Sophie clung to it despite herself, clinging to that hand as she truly wished to cling to him. She didn’t want even to part when they reached that gas guzzler of a car. She did though, and climbed into the passenger side, his coat wrapped tight around her to ward off the chill of the night.

In silence he drove and in silence Sophie sat beside him, her eyes never leaving him throughout the entirety of the drive. Once the car stopped however, she glanced around, outside the car, and cursed herself for not having paid any attention to the drive. Stupid stupid stupid. Sophie normally would never put herself into a position of vulnerability like this.

But this wasn’t any other day now was it? Sure wasn’t any other circumstance. Or any other man.

The hand again and Sophie followed as if in a stupor. Again she forgot to watch her surroundings, so intent on watching him, and before she knew it they were in his room. She paused at first, at the threshold. But after a split second followed him inside. Silently, she huddled within the thick confines of the coat, watching him still. Watching, and waiting.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-12 04:54 am UTC (link)
Bastian had nothing but his memories in that time away. No pictures, no artifacts to hold physically onto. He was glad for that though...it was one less thing she could take away from him. But that wasn't to say she hadn't tried to strip them from him. There had been threats, constant it seemed at times, of taking the memories away. She could have it done, the words echoed over and over again. Behave or.... And behave he did. Knowing without those memories he'd have no reason to keep going. Perhaps she'd known it too...and that’s why she'd never done what she so threatened to do.

Or maybe she just loved watching him in misery.

He had something physical now though. The feel of her hand in his. Such a small gesture and yet it meant everything in that moment. A small contact to know she was real...she wasn't the only one in a daze that expected the one before them to just...vanish the second they blinked their eyes. But he couldn't make her up...not with how different she now looked. If it was a dream...she'd still be that little girl he remembered. She'd still have those eyes that glowed and knew no trouble or life changing pain.

Still his girl...but so changed. So he was he...he supposed it was fitting now. For all of them to be so darkened...

Bastian spoke nothing through it all and yet his mind raced a mile a minute trying to think of what to say. He knew only that he couldn’t tell her the full truth. She'd never believe words of vampires and demons and in truth he didn’t want for her to. If she did that meant she had been involved in that world and that...he wasn't quite ready for. No that change, that so very drastic change, would be kept to himself for now.

But the rest...no matter how he loathed to speak of it, had to be told. He had to make it known that he hadn't left on his own. That he hadn't stayed away by his own choice. Would they believe he had? Had they.... Could he blame them for it if they had?

It was a struggle to keep his eyes on the road. But more then once he glanced over, just a second to ensure she was still seated where he thought she was and then his eyes were again back to the dark road in front of him. It was only a few moments to the motel and yet it felt like it took forever to get there, to park, to walk to that room where now there was only the two of them and those words that had need to be spoken.

Though not cold he immediately turned on the heat once they were inside. And though he could see perfectly well within the stark darkness, he flicked on a light.

Heavily he sighed, taking seat roughly on a worn chair and without even thinking tucked a cigarette to his lips and lit it, leaving the pack and lighter on the table. “I didn’t stay away by choice…” Bastian began, his voice quite and though a voice she knew it was far more hollow now. Not holding the same sort of life.

A long drag was taken, a deep inhale that would make most cough against the smoke. It was exhaled out before he finally could look over at her. “I wanted more then anything to come home to the three of you…”

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-19 07:44 pm UTC (link)
Savvy though she was, Sophie still was protected from some of the world’s horrors. None knew or believed that such really existed. Only the human monsters they always heard about on the news. There had never been in inkling of the struggles he faced, and in fact Sophie had come to believe he was dead. Dead after all, was better then the alternative. What little girl wanted to imagine her father to be some coward that abandoned the family when they needed him most. Not Sophie, and no way could she ever accept such thoughts about her own. Yes it’s true, she always had been Daddy’s little girl.

But all that changed when he disappeared. And now? Here he stood, no worse for the wear, accept to look tired and worried, but whatever, that happened when you made crap choices, right? It wasn’t looking good for him. Not dead, so it must be the other. Still, Sophie was above all, relieved he wasn’t dead, and beneath the acrimony… elated.

Silently she watched, studying his every movement, creating new memories to add to all the others. Stronger now, she’d taken his scent in the car, and here too, but realized all she was gathering was the musty dank odors of all the people who’d ridden the car before, or sat in this smoke-filled room. No good, they were drowning in it, the true scents lost to that crap. She’d need something, a piece of clothing, some hair… something to add to the tangibles she’d always kept and treasured in his absense.

Almost without thinking, Sophie crossed to the table to sit in the other seat. She didn’t take his smokes however, but fished out one of her own. Between her lips and lit, she’d yet to take her eyes off him. He spoke, she listened, and said nothing in return. No easy acceptance of the words, but also no denial either. She wanted to hear it. She wanted to believe.

“They don’t have phones in the Twilight zones?” She asked suddenly. Sarcastically. Her hair shook back and out of her eyes only to fall right back again as those eyes locked on him and his girl took a drag nearly as deep as his own.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-19 08:49 pm UTC (link)
Who wouldn’t begin to wonder when no news came from police and no body was ever found? Bastian feared for that belief, for the hope fading and that sinking disbelief to start tugging at them. For them to begin to believe that he’d just run from it all. It wasn’t impossible after all, people struggle, some couldn’t take it. But that had never been Bastian’s way…at least he had hoped that they knew that. But time had to start to make them second guess. Time had to make them wonder….

He couldn’t blame them for any of it. He couldn’t be angry for their own anger. He couldn’t lash out against them for any of it. They weren’t at fault, they had done nothing wrong. Was to say that he had? Sometimes he felt that way. Maybe he hadn’t fought hard enough. Maybe dead would have been easier to take then all of this. Maybes…what ifs…that’s all that was there and none if it mattered. This was what had happened. This was what had come about…he couldn’t change it.

He hadn’t been strong enough to stop it.

He watched her now and felt the weight of all he hadn’t done barring down upon him. It was a suffocating thing, a damning thought that he knew would not help him and yet he couldn’t help but fall prey to. All the time he should have been there he wasn’t and now that he was here…he couldn’t even speak those full truths. Would explanation even be enough? He didn’t think any answer was really. Not for a daughter that had been denied her father for all too much of her life.

Not enough…but explanation was all he had to offer her. Half truth to the reasons why….partial tales of just what had kept him from being here for the past eight years. The full truth wasn’t something believable…not to most. Monsters in the night and a father truly, in a sense, dead like she thought him to be. No…those weren’t words that were going to be uttered tonight. All he already needed to say was hard enough.

Maybe her smoking should have been regarded with some fatherly stare despite the fact that he’d offered his own. But it wasn’t. He scarcely noticed but there was no denying the bite to her words. “No…there wasn’t.” he’d looked, searched and paid for it each and every time.

He needed to just say it…but he had no desire to truly go into the details of just what had happened. It wasn’t something he wanted his daughter to know, that urge to protect even though she was old enough to know full well just the darkness inside of some. “The people that attacked the bar…they took me with them when they left and never let me go.” No matter the moves or the change of people he was always with them. With her.

“I can’t count how many times I tried to get word to both of you…something…anything…” he shook his head, having to look away then, he was trying hard to keep the haunted nature from his eyes. Too many saw too deep and he knew Sophie would be one that could…no those memories were best just kept locked up right now.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-20 02:06 am UTC (link)
Sophie was, by her nature, a bit of a cynic. Maggie held out hope and John well… it was his boy, if he didn’t have hope he had almost nothing anymore. But Sophie did not have the same knowledge of the two. Granted, she’d trusted him with her entire world, always knew it would be safe in the palm of his hand. But she’d been just a girl then hadn’t she? A child. He was in nearly every moment of her history to that point, but perhaps it was her advanced intelligence that forced her to move on, to scorn the others for their hope and just push forward, past useless hope.

Regardless of anything, no matter what his reasoning, no matter the anger Sophie felt in any of it, dead would have in no way been better. How cold she felt right now for holding back from him. Could he see in her eyes how all she really wanted was to just hug him, to be held by him just as he always used to do when she was small?

Now she nervously shook bounced her leg, bit the inside of her mouth and twisted her hair even while she smoked. She could tell though, that he seemed as nervous as she, maybe even more so. Sophie always had been a pretty good of people. A good enough read now that she could tell he was holding something back. Maybe he didn’t trust her either.

“Okay.” She responded finally, though not until he’d looked away.

“Why?”

It’s not like men were the usual victims on the slave market. It just, didn’t make much sense really. Though Sophie was so close to not caring if it did.

Her daddy was home.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-20 03:12 am UTC (link)
It would be easier wouldn’t it? If words didn’t matter and all he had to do was hug her to make all this better. But as nice as that ideal was, he knew it wasn’t that way. Words were needed no matter how he didn’t want to speak them. An explanation was demanded even if he knew that he couldn’t give it fully. But every muscle curled in that tension to deny that fatherly urge to forgo words to comfort and go only for physical comfort. Touch, hug, even just a pet to the hair. Something other then the distance the two now held. But he was very aware of the fact that though he was her father, he was a stranger in a way to her. A man remembered in the past and not known in the present.

So he refrained. He kept his focus on the cigarette in his hand, near willing it to burn down just to get that faint heat to the fingers to distract himself with.

It was even harder to deny all of that when he knew part of her felt the same. But it wasn’t the part of her that ruled anymore. That little girl was years gone even if he could still so clearly see her still.

Holding back wasn’t a matter of trust. Though he didn’t truly know the girl in front of him now he trusted her. But holding back was a matter of understanding the situation and knowing, knowing all too well, what would push things too far. The truth was too much for her to take, it was too much for him to take still and he’d dealt with the reality of it for years now. But still when he looked in the mirror he could scarcely accept it. Dead while walking…his sire had certainly made him feel dead. Had made him wish he was….

Why…

One word that held so much questioning and so much weight. Why…how was he supposed to answer that? How should he answer it? With that blunt truth of well to fuck with me of course. How about the true word of to make me a pet…a word he loathed and had thrown at him all too often. What reality was really the best to so openly share right in this moment. How harsh did he want to make her realize those years had been for him? In truth he didn’t want to say it at all. It would almost be easier for him to take them thinking he ran then to take their looks of pain for understanding just what had happened.

Bastian sighed, running a hand roughly through his hair before he finally spoke. “To use me to whatever advantage they could.” That was answer without real answer at all. But it was the only one he could stomach to speak right now.

“I doubt that I managed to get away free and clear but…even though it was a risk I had to come here. I had to let you both know what happened.” That he was alive…that he hadn’t left…and to make sure that they were even still alive. Though he feared, even now, that he was setting them up for the fate she’d threatened him with since his turning.

Risks…everything was a risk here…but he couldn’t not try to see them.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-20 03:48 am UTC (link)
Well… that answer sounded kind of lame. Seriously, if it had come from any other person Sophie would have rolled her eyes and showed sarcastic disbelief. She didn’t though. Maybe it was because of how lame it sounded, maybe it was who spoke the words, maybe it was both.

The words seemed to pain him, as much as everything else in these moments… but they didn’t feel fals. And Sophie knew false. But then, maybe it was he that she learned so well how to lie from. Maggie and John seemed to think he was just the most honest man in the world. Maybe he was just so good he had them all fooled. After all… that creep Daren had Maggie under some pretty good spell. Of course, Bastian was not Daren. He never would be.

“Why do you look that way?” She asked plainly, a little blunt. “Like you’ve been in some other dimension where there’s no sun and people don’t age.” Weird. Really weird. Like a way better looking Ramone or something.

Or Dracula.

Maybe he’d been in a cult.

“What do you mean? They’re going to come back?” She narrowed her eyes, glaring at no one in particular. “Fuck them. Are you going to go back with them?”

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[info]better_days
2008-03-20 04:14 am UTC (link)
It was lame and yet it was complete honesty. There had been no one set use for him, no planned out motive truly that he'd been the one to fill. All he was, was a toy. Something to entertain and be played with. An object to be twisted about until it was no longer fun anymore and then he would be cast aside like many others had been. There were times he hoped and prayed for that day, to no longer be of worth to her. Then it would all stop and all the threats, all the worry, would cease. But for whatever reason he was still here, still alive, and still wanted back. He didn't know why...but he didn't have to either. All he knew is that he was...and that she wouldn't simply forget.

Bastian wasn't always an honest man. He'd lied to his parents, he'd lied to friends, there was no one in the world that could really say they were 100% honest all the time. Even now he was lying...those lies where all you can tell yourself is that its better for them to not know. Was it better? He didn't know. All he knew is that it was what had to be done....honesty that was too much just got labeled as lies. Bastian didn't want that right now. He knew there was doubt already and the last thing he wanted was to be labeled insane and have all words, all truths or meanings, just be thrown away.

He was being as honest as he could be. Not as much as he wished to be though...

Part of him nearly wanted to laugh when she spoke, his lips might have even curled into the vaguest of smirks. "Blunt..." he remarked in a tone that held no anger for it. More pride if anything. "I was kept inside, no light, no smokes, nothing really." another lame reasoning though it still was true. Maybe she'd believe it, smoking, drinking, sunlight, it all aged the skin. Kept locked away where all those elements couldn't reach you...no it wasn't really answer enough but she didn't really want to hear the truth.

Sorry I don't age because I'm dead and I'm pale because the sunlight will burn me alive. A fact he believed even before it had been rather...forcefully proven when he misbehaved.

Somehow the truth seemed even more "lame" then the answers he attempted to give.

"Not so long as I can help it." but obviously his attempts to fight back had failed him once already. He had reason then just as he had reason now to fight...but he wasn't anywhere near strong enough to deny her for long. He knew it. She knew it. All of this...it was just a game. Bastian was the fly being bated at by the cat. He knew his time could be limited...but that only gave him more reason, more need, to see them.

The smoke burning away between his fingers finally did reach the flesh, a subtle pain reminder to snub it out and though his hands itched to reach for another, he didn’t yet. “I don’t ever want to be taken away from you two again.” Truth still. Truth that did not include the continued but I may not have choice in it just like before.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-20 04:55 am UTC (link)
Would he be labeled insane if he spoke the full truth? Probably. Or an asshole. Sophie would not believe him and might even get mad at the outlandish stories, wondering if he thought she was really idiot enough to believe them.

Then again, maybe she actually would believe him. You just never know about anything until it actually happens.

There had been times when Bastian actually had laughed at that bluntness, where he’d been proud while Maggie was every bit as mortified as she looked while she gushed her apologies. Moments when the girl was much much younger and unashamed of speaking outloud about ridiculous hairdos, make-up, or clothing. But just as she was outspoken about that, she was just as willing to express her appreciation when someone got it right. All of this of course, according to the opinions of a four year old. But Bastian always told her after that he agreed and women really should shave their upper lips. And so forth. Sophie knew Maggie agreed too, but she was so concerned about propriety and people’s feelings!

These days Sophie had a bit more tact. Still, she was often so blunt as to make most of her peers, and even more of her teachers, more than a little uncomfortable around her.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke his reasons, narrowed as she studied his complexion, the face that seemed not to have aged in ten years. Maybe she shouldn’t notice so much, maybe it really just was what it was. After all, Gramps looked damn good for his age. And okay, it’s not like he really looked all that much younger than Maggie, if at all, she reasoned. But Maggie never smoked, rarely drank. Still, the stress had gotten to her.

Sophie just didn’t know what to think about this. She knew one thing though, that it was fucking lame to be over concerned with that one detail. No matter how strange it was.

He was right… she didn’t really want to know.

“Then don’t.” Sophie replied simply. She missed the burning of the cigarette as he let it go too low, though she didn’t miss everything. “If you go again…” She didn’t finish her words, just turned her attention to her own cigarette, only half smoked so far. The thought was too ugly even to Sophie, who some believed specialized in cruel words.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-20 05:09 am UTC (link)
Maybe she'd listen. Maybe she'd believe. But the maybe wasn't enough for him right now. There was the maybe she'd just turn and walk away and that Bastian really couldn't take. He could handle a glare, he could take a blunt I don't believe you. All of that he was willing to accept, but to be turned away from for the actual truth...Bastian had a breaking point and that would likely reach it. It was hard enough as it was to be as they were. To even speak the little he was.

But it wasn't as though he could really fault her if she did refuse to accept it...he had. even as fangs pierced the flesh, even as death closed in....afterwards a part of him still completely refused that reality. It was difficult to keep denying it once bloodlust set in though...a hunger that just ate away ate you bit by bit till you didn't even know who you were anymore. Bastian was careful about it...he'd been left to starve more then once and he knew the risks involved with it. Even knowing them though, it was difficult to do what needed to be done. To feed.

No...he didn't want her to know the truth. To accept it right now. Difficult to want her to accept something that still disgusted him so much.

He expected her to call him on what he said. To continue on in the disbelief of his words. He knew her capable of it, the continued nit pick to everything he said, looking for the loophole. He taught her to be so aware, to see beyond what people first offered you. He knew a lot of wolfs in sheep’s clothing in his time and he wanted Sophie to be able to recognize them too. But Bastian wasn't a wolf. His words weren't lies, what he was hiding he was hiding for good reason. At least he gave her enough to try to understand however. Some explanation rather then nothing...

Again that smile, one that gave him almost a glimmer of his old self. He wished it was that easy...to just not go again and have that be that. He wanted it to be that simplistic. To just, now that he knew what she was and what was going on, avoid all of it. But she was in his blood...and he knew her well enough to know she wasn't willing to just let this insult slide.

He wanted to say something, anything, to make this all somehow better. But Bastian had no words to make up for everything that had happened. All he could do when she looked away, unable to complete her own words, was get to his feet and hug her. Maybe he shouldn't have, maybe it was too much..

But he needed it...he needed that small comfort, and he knew she did too.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-20 05:32 am UTC (link)
Maybe he really shouldn’t have. And his preternatural grace and speed were such that Sophie had no idea he was there until he was there. Without even a moment to consider it suddenly she was gathered in his arms. Suddenly so much melted away. And with it, her anger. All that was left now, was fear.

She melted against him, for minutes that felt all too brief, she remained, unwilling to let go, fearful that when she did he’d be gone, or else… not really him. She smelled him now, a deep inhale of breath as she committed his scent to memory, knowing this sense was the most powerfully connected to recollection.

“You’re cold.” She mumbled after a few moments. “Here.” She began unbuttoning the heavy coat she always wore. “This is yours.” He needed it more than she did it seemed.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-20 05:43 am UTC (link)
He had to be careful with even this. Something so simple, so basic for a father and daughter to share, and yet even when he wanted to just give into that brief moment he had to be aware. He had to focus on the beat of his heart, force the blood to move quicker, try to hide all the facts that could make her question...make her wonder. Even his words were far from smooth, constantly having to be aware of how his lips would move and if a hint of fangs could or would show.

She was his blood, his daughter, and yet every move made around her had to be thought out, calculated almost to ensure he didn't make a wrong step.

The entire time he had to wonder, had to fear, what she would think once she knew. It was not as though he could hide it forever. The sun would rise soon enough and what excuse could he give then to why he could not be allowed anywhere near that light? How long could he truly dodge all the oddities or explain them away?

He didn't know...and didn't want to either. He did not want to lie to her. He didn't want to lie to any of them. Not Maggie, Sophie, or his father. But Bastian did fear what they would think of what he now was. Monster, vampire, blood sucker....

They would have reason to fear him, to not accept him....

He was so focused on ensuring that beat of the heart that he'd not noticed how his skin had cooled. He hadn't fed today like he should have...or even the day before. He had no stolen warmth to his flesh to make him feel human. Bastian raised a hand up, stilling her movements. "It's alright, it's yours now kid." he couldn't feel the cold anymore, he didn't need the jacket.

But he wanted her to have it...to give her all that he could to remember him by...just in case. It wasn't much, compared to what he should have been to her all these years t was nothing...but it was what he had to offer right now.

He made himself take seat again though, resting elbows against his knees, his head resting in his hands. "What happened....afterwards...." to the bar, the house, to his dad and to Maggie. What had he missed...

Maybe it was self torture to ask, to hear everything in detail that he'd not been there for. But he needed to know...even if he could likely do little to help in anything. Right now he was nothing but a hindrance and he knew it.

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-22 02:18 am UTC (link)
Oddly enough Sophie would not have noticed these things. Okay, so she likely would have noticed a fang, but it’s doubtful she would have noticed a slow heartbeat. What she did notice was his cautious speech. She thought he seemed to be in pain. The thought pained her of course.

She frowned now when he denied the jacket. She was glad she could keep it, but she rather keep him. And he was so cold. What is he got sick? What if he already was sick? When did Sophie come to be such a worrier? Maybe it was the fear of losing him again. Finally she nodded, almost in resignation. But if it came to more than just the coat, she’d put up way more of a fight. Right now she was picking her fights.

And apparently she’d need to lie a bit as well. Sadly.

“Well, I guess you know about the house.” She pouted slightly, though even that face didn’t fully express her sadness at losing it. She masked her sorrow well, a trick she’d mastered long ago. Usually the sadness was hidden behind anger. Of course he’d know about the house, sure he’d gone there first thing. “No one wanted to move out, but they needed the money.

“And The Spider, well… fucking city hall trying to burn the little man. Dickheads with more money than they know what to do with decided The Barking Spider was just doing too well, or something. Beyond ridiculous the amount of charges they keep coming up with. Nutso as it sounds the whole thing reeks of conspiracy.

“SO it’s been closed a couple of weeks now mostly.”

When had she finished her light? In any case, she lit another, this time one of his. Lit and exhaled, she started again. “We live in The Old Town Towers now. Grandpa’s there too, right next door. I see him every day and Mom usually cooks for him. Of course, she cooks for everyone on our floor I think.” Spoken with a roll of her eyes but also a slightly proud grin. It was precisely what made Maggie Maggie, and for all her complaining, Sophie loved her exactly as she was. She really wouldn’t be happy if her mother was a more cynical person. It was actually refreshing that she was not, especially after everything.

“She misses you.” Sophie spoke. Okay, so she hadn’t lied, yet. It was called selective omission. “We all do.” If Bastian learned anything about Daren it wouldn’t be from Sophie.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-22 06:32 am UTC (link)
Bastian knew that she was a smart kid, she'd catch on that he was holding back. But he rather her wonder what it was then to have her not wonder at all anymore and know that full truth. It did pain him to speak like he was. It pained him to be here and feel that distance between them no matter how close they sat. Everything about this hurt more then anything else that had happened to him over the years. Physical pain was nothing compared to the heart and the three of them were his heart. Everything else got cut away and they were all he had to grip onto.

Memories still kept him going...

Memories of how it all used to be. Memories of the kid in front of him. Memories of the house and the bar and how damn easy smiles had been back then. Now Bastian wasn't even sure he had that same smile left in him anymore. In a way he had wanted to make it so they never saw him. Find them and know they were alive but not interfere...let them move on without him...not put them in this place again. Losing them once had been hard enough but to put them through it twice...Bastian just couldn't take that. Yet here he was...

Eyes darkened but he gave a slight nod. "First place I went." surprised, shocked, and damn heartbroken to find out that the place he'd known as home was gone. All those memories wiped away, the marks to the walls, the pictures, the small things that had reminded him of family. Now some stranger lived behind those walls bleeding out the feel of the people who had once been there.

"Guess that would be why the notes were never found." notes, the flowers, small things to try to get contact that had all been in vain. But why the struggles now? The place had run smooth for so long, never really having any troubles, his dad was friends with many. One of those long term sort of businesses that people fought to keep. Bastian shook his head slightly "Doesn't feel right." which of course it wouldn't but he was speaking on more then that. He had to wonder if the fault was on him for that.

He'd been gone a few weeks, she knew who to fuck with to get his guilt flowing. Hurt the family enough he'd come back just to make it stop for them....

That sad smile to grace his lips "Some things never change then..." and other things changed completely. "How is the old man holding up?" he'd been in decent health before Bastian left but he knew the years were catching up and he smoked just as much as Bastian if not more. He had worried…but he’d worried about them all. Again he nodded his head, his throat tight slightly. “I know…I missed all of you two.” God had he missed them, miss wasn’t even strong enough a word for it. It didn’t even come close.

He reached over, clasping a hand a top her own. “I’m sorry Sophie…it wasn’t my choice but I’m still sorry that everything happened the fucked up way it did.” Sorry that he hadn’t been there. That hand dragged back through his hair roughly again. He wanted to say it would be better now, that it would be alright or he could fix it all. He wanted to be reassuring….but he couldn’t promise any of that.
“I’m here now though.” For right now, right this moment…

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-22 06:54 am UTC (link)
The pain of never knowing what happened to your loved one was at times almost too much to bear. Sophie felt that pain, in the privacy of her room, behind closed doors, with music blaring. Pain she hid completely from the rest of the world, turned off finally, denied completely with a cold heart. That wasn’t really her. But it was easier then dealing. Easier than being some sappy emo kid, tempting as that was. Alright, maybe it wasn’t easier, but it actually was more her than that would be.

No, it was better that she saw him. No matter what.

“You left notes?” She pouted, an unusual look for Sophie, but sincere. How many, she wondered, and for how long? “No, I didn’t know.” Now she wished she’d been going there even with it closed. She hadn’t.

“Of course it’s not right. Nothing ever is.” Though she wasn’t speaking of it as he was. She hadn’t yet made that connection. But then, she wasn’t quite that paranoid a person, and she had no idea how long Bastian had been in town either. She shrugged sadly. “Been open only like Wednesday through Saturday, sometimes Sunday. Just hasn’t been very busy. Makes Gramps really sad. Maggie too.” Of course, they were both pretty sad in general.

“He does okay, most days not any problems at all. Stubborn old goat.” She grinned, obviously in love with the man. She almost went after the hand on hers as it retreated but let it go, reluctantly. “Then don’t leave again.” She said seriously. “Why are we even here?” They should be at home, shouldn’t they?

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[info]better_days
2008-03-22 07:09 am UTC (link)
There were uncountable ways to try to deal with everything that happened. Anger, sadness, they all had rights to all of it. Bastian at times felt nothing more then numb. It was too much to be angry, too much to be sad, the emotions were so intense that it just burned him out. Draining everything away until the words became hollow and he could scarcely even get himself to bother to listen. Sometimes it was just better to not...never knowing if the words were true or false, never knowing at all what to believe or what to think.

Now that he knew that anger was renewed...and yet so much relief was there as well. relief...and fear....

"More then a few, flowers as well for Maggie. Anything I could really that you guys would know was from me..." he gave an idle shrug "Guess people snatched them." or the wind, or any number of things...like particular people stealing them away. But he couldn’t stay all day and night to make sure they didn't go anywhere. Once the sun came up he had to go...like it or not. And he knew, always, that was likely when anything he left would be removed.

Many of those days Bastian had gone by...finding only darkness behind the door. He knew his father, frustration could eat at him and make it hard for him to even bother going in on the days that he could no matter how he loved the place. "I’m sure its been hard on them." the place was home to his father and he'd always taken pride in it. To have it shut down for bullshit reasons...it had to be getting under his skin. Likely he had more then a few rants about it...not that anyone could blame him.

Bastian didn’t mean to look at her the way he did when she spoke don’t leave again. He was trying to keep it…calm, cooler then he felt. He didn’t want to let any of that…intensity really show through. But he couldn’t help that look of pain to her words. Did she understand how badly it hurt him that he couldn’t promise her that. That he couldn’t just open his mouth and say I won’t ever leave again….

Part of him wanted to. To give that fatherly sort of reassurance that every kid needs. To smile and say of course I won’t as though it was some given that nothing could sway. But as much as some part of him thought he should lie…he didn’t have the heart for it.

“I don’t plan to.” No promise, no certainty. He didn’t want to leave again, he hoped to be able to avoid it at all costs…he planned to stay. But he had also planned to never leave in the first place.

“Wanted somewhere where we could just talk.” Just the two of them….he wanted so badly to get up and have her bring him back to where home was for them now. He anted to see that stubborn old man; he wanted to see Maggie’s beautiful face. But how was he to explain that in only a few short hours all the blinds needed to be drawn? Words of being tired would be cold in such a reunion. Yet seeing him burn would be even worse.

He had…no idea how to do this….
How to make anything work anymore…

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[info]felonious_punk
2008-03-22 06:14 pm UTC (link)
Sophie thought briefly of the flowers Daren had left Valentine’s Day morning. The same kind Bastian used to bring her before. Was that just coincidence? “People are inconsiderate asshoiles.” She hissed, her brow furrowing. Those things had been for them. And notes? What the hell? Notes wouldn’t mean shit except for the person the wrote it and the one they wrote it for.

Yep… inconsiderate assholes.

She didn’t say it now, preferring not to add insult to injury, but truth was it was obvious to her the shit with the bar might be the straw that broke the camel’s back for her grandfather. Or maybe she should say something. Maybe that would give him more reason to just come home. “Sometimes Gramps looks ready to give up, ya know? It’s been a pain and those people don’t seem to have two brains between them to rub together. He keeps saying “Can’t fight city hall”. Yeah… he’s pretty sad. Strong old guy though.

“And Maggie. Well, pretty sure all her feeding of the neighborhood strays is her ways of coping with not having anyone to care for anymore.” Sophie was way too old, Bastian was gone, and well there was John, but there was only so much she could do for him before the old man said enough, go home.

“Okay.” She agreed, talking was nice, but sometimes there was only so much talking that could be done. He’d answered what he could, obviously unable, or unwilling to be more elaborate. Now, there was much he needed to know. What he really needed was to see them in person as he had Sophie.

Sometimes there just weren’t any words. Sophie’s hand reached for his, the cigarette finished and discarded, she reached across the table then finally stood up and went to him, her arms out for another hug. “Welcome home,” She muttered against his cool neck as she buried her face there. Please don’t ever leave again.

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[info]better_days
2008-03-22 06:55 pm UTC (link)
"Yes...they are..." Bastian agreed but his words had far more meaning then just the notes left at the bar or the flowers that he'd bought just for Maggie. No it went so much deeper then that. Assholes that thought everyone in the world was there’s to move like fucking pawns. Fuckers that thought that they had right to strip a father from his home and change lives forever. Too many in the world thought they had every fucking right to do what they wanted and they didn't. Supernaturals, humans, the race didn't matter it was some sick twisted part in people that he couldn't stand.

Even now his lips twisted into a thin sneer at the thought. There was so much anger inside of him for it. So much buried deep down inside as lashing out against her only amused her and made her want to keep batting at him like a cat does a mouse. But what they did, what they were still doing. It wasn't right. But the world was fucked up and a lot of things happened that weren't right and weren't fair.

Bastian looked down as she spoke of them. Elbows to his knees, hands holding his head. Tears threatened at the edges of hi eyes but he'd not let them fall. Last thing he needed was for her to notice the slight red tint to them. No he was supposed to remain strong wasn't he? He'd had to for years now but now here it was hard to keep holding that weight. "He's gone through a lot...more then anyone should have to. Can't say I blame him for being so tired of it." Bastian responded. His father was a tough man, he taught Bastian how to be strong and how to endure but everyone had their breaking points. Everyone.

"She’s always been like that, even when she had people to care for." and she still did, Sophie was older but she wasn't so old that she didn't need anyone watching out for her. She was strong he could see, independent, but she was still a girl...and no matter what happened she wasn't too old for her mothers attention. But Maggie always felt the need to help others, it was nice to see that hadn't changed.

He knew his reason wasn't enough again. He knew it..but he was running out of ways to try to make this make sense. To lie, to hide....it wasn't like him. Not with them. But what other choice did he really have?

Bastian sighed into that hug, wrapping his arms tight around her in that sort of act that could only be described as never again wanting to let go. So much older now, bigger then she had been, but it was still hugging his little girl. His little Sophie.

Tomorrow….if he worked at it he could convince her tomorrow. It wouldn’t be easy but already he glanced towards the window..it wasn’t long now. Too short a time to get there, to talk, and somehow manage to get them to let him duck away till sundown. He didn’t know how he’d do it…but he couldn’t think of any other way of doing this.

Just convince her he had to be careful…had to wait till he had time to make sure no one was watching him go there. Make up words of having trouble with lights…or just look afraid to see them both again.

He couldn’t keep this up for long…But he just couldn’t even think to try to speak the truth yet.

Not yet.

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