MK Malfoy (sev1970) wrote in harry_gen_fics, @ 2008-05-01 21:51:00 |
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Current mood: | happy |
Reflections ~ Sev1970 ~ G
Title: Reflections
Author: sev1970
Character: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Date Written: Early morning on 02 May 2008 in Scotland
Words:1219
Summary: Harry writes down some thoughts on the ten-year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I have a Harry Journal that I would normally post this in, but since this is the tenth anniversary of the battle, I decided to post this as a fic as well as in my journal justharry1980.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Warner Bros., and others own HP.
Ron, Hermione and I were looking at some pictures from when we were at Hogwarts last week. We were really small then, and so naïve. We didn't know much of anything back then, yet it all worked out for us and here I am, ten years later, trying to write down something to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Not my idea, Ginny's, but she does have a point. What happened that night is not a small insignificant event that should be forgotten, not that it could be with all the commemorations going on almost daily this week. I don't much like to think about that night or talk about it, and that seems to be the case for most everyone around here, but we do all realise that it needs to be remembered.
Ginny and her brothers are outside sitting in the garden. I thought I'd give them some privacy. Molly and Arthur have gone to see Fred, but they should be back soon. It's still hard to believe that Fred has been gone ten years. Wherever he is, I know he is making people laugh.
There is so much that I wish had been different, but then I look at James and Albus Severus, and I know that I wouldn't want it to have gone any other way. My kids and Ginny are my life. I spent a lot of time after the battle wishing that it could have been me rather than Fred and Colin and the others, but Molly and Ginny got me through that. Their son and brother died, yet they tried to cheer me up. They'll never know how much that meant to me.
Last year, on the ten year anniversary of Dumbledore's death, I went up to the tower and sat there for a long time. I thought about everything he had done to me and for me. There have been times that I've been very bitter towards him because he really did orchestrate a lot of what happened, and he made it possible for me to do what I did. But in the end, he was doing what he thought needed to be done in order to fulfill a prophecy. Who am I to question that? Would I have done any differently? Anyway, I told Dumbedore, as I stood where he fell, that all was well, and I meant that. I miss him more than anyone else.
So now we come to this morning, ten years later, 02 May 2008, almost to the hour. Snape. I try not to think of him, at all. What happened to him was so wrong and it makes me angry, a far cry from how I felt after he killed Dumbledore. After Dumbledore was murdered, I remember thinking how much I hoped that Voldemort would kill Malfoy and Snape, but I guess it's a good thing he didn't kill Draco because then he would have ended up with the Elder wand, and that would have changed everything.
I can still see Snape's eyes and how shocked he was when he realised what Voldemort was going to do to him. I never did like the man; he creeped me out, but he was protecting me. I regret many things, but I am so thankful that I was there when he died. He gave me a gift that night, and no matter how much I had loathed him in the past, all of that left me when I looked at his memories. I hope that wherever he is, he knows that I am thankful that he taught me not to judge all people so quickly. I can only hope my son lives up to the name that I gave him, both of them.
Malfoy sent an owl the other day; it's the first time I have heard anything from him since that night. He said it was time he thanked me for saving his life -- that ten years was long enough to wait. He told me his son had taught him how to let go of past hurts, and I guess that is what he was doing, letting go. I replied and told him that his mother saved my life and that he owed me nothing. I also told him I held no hard feelings towards him. We were young and we were more than likely predisposed from the beginning to hate each other. He didn't ask for any of this any more than I did. He's not so bad. I am a bit curious how my son and his son will get on at Hogwarts when that time comes.
Professor McGonagall invited me for tea last week. I hadn't been in the Headmaster's office since that night, so it was an odd experience, but I am glad I went. I think she knew how being there affected me. She asked if I was happy. I smiled and said that yes, I was. But she saw something, or so she says, and asked me again, giving me that look that only McGonagall could give. She is scary, I tell you. I wasn't lying; I really was happy, but there was something bothering me, so then I told her that James had asked me why Teddy didn't have a daddy. That one threw me, I'm not going to lie. My son is going to have other questions and I don't think I'm ready for them. She then proceeded to tell me that I was a father and I was going to have to be ready to answer questions whether I wanted to or not. She said I was more than equipped to answer my son's questions, and it was better I do so sooner rather than later, in a way that James would understand. Leave it to McGonagall to give me a direct answer that I needed. I made a joke and said that that was an answer I would expect from Snape. She laughed and said that I was very wrong, and left it at that. I have the feeling there is a lot about Snape that I was wrong about. I think I'm glad about that.
Ginny's going to have another baby. She knows I want a little girl, and she said if it is, we should name her Lily. I think I'd like that. Molly is such a wonderful grandmother. I know my mum would have been as well.
So it's been ten years. There are times I miss that innocent little boy who thought magic was the best thing ever, and sometimes I miss those nights spent out in the woods looking for something that we had no idea what it was. I miss the laugh that was Fred's last, and I miss the lessons that Snape could have taught me. I miss so many things that were here ten years ago that are not here now, but I thank whoever I should that I have a wife and kids who love me. That little boy who was brought into this world with so much love has been through a lot, but for what I have, I'd do it again.
Perfect timing, I hear Molly and Teddy talking in the kitchen, so I am off to spend some time with my family.