October 2013




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Oct. 11th, 2013


Contrary to what others may wish, I would have preferred to stay human.

Who did this magic? I want to know. Cast it again, or else you shall be far more regretful than merely sorry.

Oct. 10th, 2013


Dude, no. I don't want to be a human again.

Oct. 4th, 2013


While D's catching a bat nap (get it?) I'm taking over and introducing myself.

Yeah, I'm a talking hand. Go ahead. Take that fact and run with it.

Oct. 3rd, 2013


Name's Van Helsing.

Don't make any trouble while you're here.

Oct. 2nd, 2013


Well, it's good to know there's some sort of police force here. And aside from all the pumpkins, this place does remind me a bit of the old homestead. Except that it doesn't smell of lard. It's funny how you come to miss that.

In any case, hullo. My name is Salacia Delorisista Amanita Trigestrata Zeldana Malifee -- in the interest of brevity I'll skip ahead a bit -- Belladonna Eminencia Morticia Jane Zaraphola Margolise von Humpeding, of the Bonk von Humpedings. I am a vampire, but there's no need for alarm: I am a Black Ribboner and I will not harm you. I control the cravings, the red sticky stuff does not control me. These days I much prefer a nice bun and cocoa to bl blo the b-word. Yes.

And, as a newly deputised lawwoman of Halloweentown as well as a sworn officer of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, I just have a few questions. Let me be clear that this is not an official investigation.

1) What precisely occurs on Halloween? From what I gather, it seems to be a religious ceremony of some significance to the people living and non-living here, but I'd like to know the details.

2) Is anyone here a user of wizardry, witchery, thaumaturgy, hexomancy, or sourcery? Or, er, quantum?

3) Where were you on the night of Thursday the 32nd of Spune, and can anyone verify your whereabouts?

Oct. 1st, 2013



My name is Lucy Westenra, and I'm so very scared of the dark. I'd like someone to hold my hand, please, while I try to find my way back to the Mortuary. I very much like to make new acquaintances. You can never have too many friends, can you?

Oct. 2nd, 2013


Hello, my name is Penelope and it's a pleasure to meet you all. I believe I am staying in the Mansion. Are there enough rooms? I don't mind sharing! I don't [...] drink blood or eat flesh. Mostly I drink hot cocoa and eat normal human food. Is that alright?

Aug. 30th, 2013