|-:- lali de princesse -:- (lalique) wrote in halfofme,|
@ 2008-06-10 20:51:00
|Entry tags:||feelings, thoughts|
I'm finally moved into my new house. Well...not completely. But mostly. I'm sleeping there at least. My mom went grocery shopping for me because I had nothing, and the only healthy thing she bought me was fruit cups. Living on my own is supposed to help me with my diet, because 1.) I'm going to try to keep only healthy foods around and 2.) I'm poor so I'll have to conserve on food as much as possible.
I really need to get cracking on this because I've fallen (hard) for one of my best friends, and I'm fairly certain he feels the same about me. But I'm not sure if my weight bothers him or not... Wheather it does or doesn't I do know that I am bothered by it. My weight holds me back so much. I can't wear nice clothes because I look crappy in them. I can't do things I love, like run, swim, play sports, etc... because I'm out of shape, and I..."jiggle".
And I am NOT comfortable AT ALL with being intimate with anyone, no matter how much I love them, or they love me because I'm embarrassed and ashamed of my weight.
And I'm afraid that if I keep putting this off, I'll never be able to tell him how I feel, and he may eventually find someone else..
I went through something similar with another boy once. And it didn't turn out well. I was, and still am heart broken. And even more scared.