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Tweak says, "I AM SPARTICUS!"

Vivian Quinn Roth (creed_of_flight) wrote in halcyon_houses,
@ 2008-11-16 18:54:00

Entry tags:

jaida, vivian

Week Twenty-Two: Wednesday
Who: Jaida, and Vivian
When: Wednesday, evening.
Where: Jaida's dorm
What: Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.
Warning: I see yelling, and bad language.

The funeral had finally taken place on Monday. It had been over a week since the death of her grandmother, and it had simply been time to let go. In truth, it couldn't really have been called a funeral. Vivian decided to make everything private. Only herself, and a handful of those who had really been close to Dacia had been allowed to attend. Of course, she hadn't been able to be there at all. Which was probably for the best. Vivian didn't think she would have been able to stand there, and watch them pour concrete, and dirt onto a wooden box containing what was left of her family. Instead, she had been where most vampires were during the day. Resting in bed, her head tucked between Henry's bare shoulder blades, while her arms had circled his chest. Amazingly enough, she'd been able to sleep... even with the funeral, and the news of a young woman's body discovered nude, and mutilated on a near by beach having broke the news the previous night. So much for relying on sharks to do away with the evidence.

At first, she was sure that he would be angry with her... for the kidnap. After all, he'd scolded her for the previous life she'd taken. Yet, when he returned home, and found the two of them together, he hadn't frowned, nor told her off like a small child. He'd simply smirked at her. The night ended up being an interesting one. Their first real lesson on feeding, and hunting. They'd been cruel to the woman, and she couldn't even say it was a case of him acting, and her following. Quite the opposite in fact. It had been with her encouragement, that he had taken the woman. Vivian whispering in her ears, holding her arms above her head, her white dress heavily stained with the girls blood, while Henry had fucked the redhead. She knew now that it had to be one of her kinks, because she felt the same rush of excitement she had, when watching Jaida with Alex. Stranger still, she didn't feel that remorse after, as she ahd before.

Everything changed after that night. It was as if something unsaid had been decided between them... as if she had finally reached the point of being worthy of his teachings. It was for that reason, that she only returned to Halcyon to retrieve her belongings. Once everything was wrapped at the school, and on the island, she would return to South Africa... to Henry. One of those lose ends was her reason for standing outside of Jaida's door. The one that she didn't want to do, she was forcing herself to do first. Otherwise, she might be too tempted to just run away like a coward, and never explain herself. Explain... how was she going to explain? She wasn't, she intended to lie. To lie, and say whatever it would take for the muse to hate her. To be glad to see her go. It was for the best.

Vivian tapped on the door with her curled knuckles, before slipping her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Her short hair was straight for the most part. Hanging in a dark bob, just above her shoulders. As the door began to open, she felt herself tense, warm eyes instantly seeking out the familiar blue. "Hey, love..."

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divaboheme
2008-11-19 10:53 am UTC (link)

Not that Jaida had a ton of family, but she was pretty sure it still sucked when someone died. It was clear that Vivian was close to her grandmother and, from what little of her J had known, she'd seemed like a pretty kick ass lady - no doubt the loss of her was hitting the dark-haired vamp particularly hard. The funeral had only been a few days prior and Viv should be returning to school anytime. To be honest, J wasn't quite sure what to expect. It seemed normal think that the death of somebody you loved could change you in little ways - seeing as her grandmother had really been the only family Viv had left, it would probably hit her harder than she'd ever let on. It was times like these that made Jaida wish she was good at the whole comforting thing. It just wasn't in her genes, she hadn't been bred to be one of those touchy-feely "come cry on my shoulder" type. She just hoped whatever the fuck she was was good enough to help Viv out right now.

She almost didn't even hear the knock when it sounded against her door, the sound nearly drowned out by the work she was doing on her keyboard. When you were waiting for something you weren't really looking forward to - like trying to help your girlfriend cope with a death in the family - you needed a little liquid courage....and a distraction. Which was where her handy dandy keyboard came in. She had to admit, it was the coolest thing anyone had ever given her, even if she'd been a bit uneasy about accepting it from Viv at first. But she'd insisted and eventually J had given in. And boy was she glad now! The thing was pretty kick ass, she had to admit.

Once it dawned on her that someone was at the door, J shot up and rushed over, pulling it over before Viv decided to head off. Clad in one of her usual crazy get-ups, she offered up a slight smile to the vamp on the other side of her door. "Hey good lookin'," J stepped back to give Vivian room to pass so that she could enter. At least she refrained from asking how she was, that seemed like about the dumbest question she could have spit out right then and there. "Want anything to drink?" There, that was safer. Much better. She was trying, there had to be points for that. Closing the door behind them, J crossed over to turn off the keyboard, now wasn't the time for playing around on that. Now it was time to give this whole comforting girlfriend thing a shot....hopefully she was better at it than she was expecting...

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creed_of_flight
2008-11-19 06:58 pm UTC (link)

Dacia had been her shoulder when the accident had happened, some years before. They had been there for one another, had grown even closer from the loss. It was strange that such a beautiful relationship could form from a tragedy. And now, her death had brought about something else. Something that she honestly expected to see. Which was why she was still walking on eggshells with him. Yes, she was forcing herself to trust him more than her brain thought was wise, but that was what love was... trust. Simply, she was giving him a chance to prove himself, just as he was giving her the chance to do the same. Just how long it would last, that was hard to say.

A soft smile touched her lips, as she stepped into the dorm room, which might as well been her own, for all the time she spent in it. "Yeah, I would. Thanks." A nice stiff drink always eased the tension in her. A bad thing to fall back on, but... writers were supposed to be alcoholics. At least, that was the excuse she was using. While Jaida fixed up the drinks, Vivian sat down at the end of her bed, leaning slightly forward, so that her elbows were resting atop her thighs. Her eyes drifted to the keyboard, it was obvious that she'd been using it. The thought of which brought the smile back to appearance. She had feared that even with the agreement to take it, she might not be keen to play on it. Thankfully, she wasn't being too stubborn about it.

The distraction of the drink really wasn't needed on her end, her mind was so full, that she couldn't imagine isolating one pattern of thought any time soon. It was evident in the way her eyes were unfocused. Starring forward, but not really looking at anything. Though, her attention returned to Jaida, when the drink was presented, "Thank you, love." She lifted it to her lips like a reflex, requiring no thought at all. Lowering it, she allowed it to rest between her hands, slightly twisting it back, and forth between her palms. "I, um... I'm leaving again tomorrow night. I've decided to sell my parents house, and... I think Darcia's as well. It feels so strange, being in either place... I kept expecting her to walk out of her bedroom, and tell me off for having the patio doors open." Vivian swallowed the lump in her throat, giving her head a little shake. "Once I leave, I... won't be coming back." It was then that she finally looked up.

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divaboheme
2008-11-24 09:01 am UTC (link)

With a nod, Jaida moved to dig into the little stash of liquor she kept on hand, pouring each of them something to calm the nerves. She was so concerned with trying to be there, to provide some kind of support for Vivian, that J barely noticed how out of it she was acting. Sure, she hadn't been expecting some happy-go-lucky attitude upon her return from Dacia's funeral, but even this was a bit off key for Viv. Crossing back to her, J offered up one of the glasses, keeping the other for herself. A little liquid courage never hurt, right? Once Vivian had taken the glass from her, she lowered herself down to take a seat at her side on the mattress, taking a swallow from her own glass.

It seemed like breaking the silence might be a good start to things, if only she could find a way to do it without sticking her foot in her mouth. Jaida glanced over for a moment, leaning forward to give it her best go...when Vivian beat her to the punch. She was a bit surprised to hear that selling her parents' place, not to mention Dacia's, was already an option...but then again, J figured it did make a kind of sense. Who wanted that kind of reminder lurking around? Houses seemed like one big giant ghost, just waiting to remind you of all the things you'd lost. Yeah, maybe getting rid of those was a good idea.

It was the next thing the came from those lips that stopped Jaida short. Her eyes lifted a split-second after Vivian's did, the hurt her words had driven into the muse shining nakedly for a moment before she slid that wall of apathy back into place. Pushing herself to her feet, J put physical space between them, raising her glass to her lips to down the rest of the liquor it held before she moved to refill it. She shouldn't be surprised, really, wasn't this the type of thing she was used to? It wasn't like people in her life ever bothered to stay around. Why should Viv be any different? She downed the refilled drink in a quick gulp, turning back to face the vamp seated on her bed, leaning her slim hips back against the dresser behind her. "Gotcha," she nodded, trying to keep up that careless bohemian aura she seemed to radiate, "I hear ya loud and clear. Wouldn't want you to stay here and suffer. You know, when there's nothing worth staying for." Was it a little petty? Perhaps, but she was pissed as hell and the claws were officially out. It would be a lot easier to watch Vivian go if she could make them hate each other first.

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creed_of_flight
2008-11-24 06:11 pm UTC (link)

Depression was a funny sort of thing. Especially in the way a person dealt with it. Or in Vivian's case, didn't deal with. It wasn't something she would ever admit to, but she had been conflicted with it, since the time of her families death. It had completely knocked her of course for a time, while she self medicated. She had never really dealt with it, it had simply been buried. Strange, some people could function normally when that sick, and others couldn't at all. Problem with those that carried on, it all eventually caught up with them, and caused them to break under the pressure. She was a perfect example of just that. That, with her new nature, had turned her into quite the monster. Shame she couldn't have just lost her heart as well. That would have made this all so much easier.

Why did it always seem that she had some sort of confession to make to Jaida? Had she really become so secretive? Alright, so not all of her confessions had been of a negative nature, but most of them hadn't left either of them feeling particularly good afterwards. The worst part about having a partner that couldn't play by the rules... ever. Fuck she'd been a shitty friend, and a worst girlfriend. Vivian was convincing herself that in the end, Jaida would be better off. They both would. Sparing all that heartache, and disappointment, it would give them both a better shot at a happy life... at least, that's what she was telling herself.

Her first instinct was to combat the accusations of there being nothing here for her. Hell, she even had the desire to request that she come with her, but... no, she couldn't do that. Pushing back her tears, she cleared her throat, fixing a bored smile upon her lips, as she placed her hands on the bed behind her. "No, nothing at all. I've spent far too much time in school, and there isn't anything here that I can't learn from Henry." Leaning against her hands, she crossed her legs, watching the muse. "He went with me to South Africa. He's there now, and I'll be going back to him." IT was difficult to say these things in such a passive tone, even if they were the truth. She didn't want to hurt Jaida, but it had to be done. "I was bad... very bad. I broke all of your rules.... but let's face it, I couldn't follow them, J. He's apart of me, and not being with him is too much of a struggle."

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divaboheme
2008-11-24 07:52 pm UTC (link)

Jaida wouldn't claim to know what depression was. She liked to carry an air of unaffectedness at all times. She was tough...a street rat, a kid of the system, something as basic as a break-up wasn't about to phase her. Or so she was going to make it seem. Truth was she'd trusted Vivian far more than anyone else in a long, long time. She'd reached out and now was forced to recoil, the bite deep enough to draw blood. She refilled her glass yet again, tiny shoulders squaring against the burden they were about to take on. She didn't fucking need this....any of it. And she sure as hell didn't need Vivian. Let her leave, see if she fucking cared. She'd be just fine, she always was. Raising the glass to her lips, Jaida downed it, felt that liquid courage flood her veins. Fuck em all. She'd always taken care of herself, she was all she really needed.

A flame-colored brow just barely arched as Vivian leaned back on her bed, hands resting against the mattress so casually. Inside that anger was growing, increasing to a rate that was dangerous....either to herself or someone else. It was times like these when she tested her human limits, pushed her tolerance for substances that could easily steal her life. Right now her thoughts were drifting towards the eight ball stashed in her sock drawer. Fucking oblivion was sounding pretty good about now. "You always wanted him anyway. You're fucked if you think I didn't know that." So maybe there was a bite to her tone, but she was choking back that anger pretty fucking well. "Looks like you get to go back and be his little suck and fuck slave now. So get going all ready and get the fuck out." She nodded pointedly towards the door. "Take this shit with you, too. Give it to Henry." One booted foot shoved the keyboard at her, sent it crashing to the ground. Beside it was a box that held the other few things that Vivian had given her lately. Jaida wanted all of it, including the person who had given it, gone. Now.

"We're done." And she was too, she had nothing else to say. She turned to her dresser, refilled her drink with one hand while the other opened her sock drawer. She lifted out exactly what she was after...plastic bag, spoon, lighter...syringe. She needed just a little oblivion, just for awhile. Fuck, it wasn't like she was addicted. Besides, she liked to have a good time. She'd have another drink or two, shoot up...she'd be feeling nice and happy in no time. Well, once Vivian got the hell out.

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creed_of_flight
2008-11-24 11:55 pm UTC (link)

Putting on the tough act was a good defense. If you let no one in, you simply never got hurt. It was as simple as that. Yet, when you were so closed off, you missed out on so many of the good things that life had to offer. They'd both risked being torn open, when they admitted their feelings to one another. It hadn't been easy, but, even now, Vivian didn't regret having been so open, and honest with her. What time they had, had together had been amazing in her mind. Even now, as she tried to act as cold as possible, she felt her heart breaking. Henry had said that passion was her weakness, and maybe it was. But, it was better to feel something, than nothing at all. You were only a fool in love, if you allowed it's destruction to destroy you as well. Both women were stubborn enough not to allow it to tear them down for too long.

Had their positions been reversed, Vivian would have been equally as angry. Her temper tended to get out of control, if pushed too far, so, she couldn't blame Jaida for her reaction, not at all. "No, I didn't think you were foolish enough not to know. Otherwise, you wouldn't have made that annoying little rule of yours. I honestly think you both saw what a true threat the other was." Otherwise, Henry wouldn't have been so angry when she pushed him away a month before, and Jaida wouldn't be as pissed as she was now. "I'll do what he asks of me." She said simply, rising to her feet, and shifting her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Vivian felt her stomach sink, as the gifts were cast to the floor. "Just throw them out. It's your shit to deal with."

"Yeah, we are." Turning to the door, she moved across the short distance, pulling it open before she paused. Glancing back, she watched her for a moment, wanting to say more. Wanting to apologize, and be completely honest with her. She didn't want it to end like this. Her left hand lifted from the confines of her jeans, as she stared at the ornate ring that the muse had at one time given her. Her fingers curled around it, meaning to extract it, but... she couldn't do it. Giving her head a little shake, she stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. She was only a few paces down the hall, when her body buckled forward, curling into it's self, as she finally gave into those panicked emotions that had been threatening since the moment she told Jaida she was leaving. Reaching out, she gripped the wall, sliding down it, until she kneeling on the ground, her chest heaving as choked sobs over took her. The sooner she got ahold of herself the better, but she couldn't push this back, it was too much. Letting go of one of the few people that had meant the world to her had been too much.

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