InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Parley???"

echoes, silence, patience & grace (fatebites) wrote in halcyon_halls,
@ 2008-05-02 14:23:00

Entry tags:

easton, sam

Week Nine: Monday
When: After classes
Where: Common room on the south side
Who: Sam and Easton
What: =(

Sam had felt physically ill the day after the... encounter with Kiernan. Guilt had started trying to eat its way through her from the inside out and it had taken what little energy she had left to drag herself outside for the shift. Even with the moon pulling her forward, she had lacked her usual intensity. The beast had struggled to engage her, get her to let go and enjoy the night but she ended up just going along for the ride and not caring about what the outcome would be. Part of her wished for oblivion, for something to happen so that she wouldn't have to face Easton and confess what she had done. She could already see the disappointment in his eyes, it haunted her.

Like a coward she had hid out in her room under the guise of being too exhausted to function. God she hated herself. Monday morning had found her far paler than she should of been and her stomach churned from the lack of food over the weekend and the self loathing. Sleep had also been nonexistent because every time she closed her eyes she relived that night. "Dirty" didn't even begin to describe how she felt and she just couldn't get the water hot enough to wash away her sins.

As she made her way from one class to the next, she couldn't even bring herself to make eye contact with anyone and when she saw Kiernan at the end of the hall, she turned and practically ran the other way. Hiding out in the bathroom wasn't exactly her style but there was a first time for everything. What could she possibly even say to him? What she had done had been so out of character and wrong and...Hiding was good.

When the time to meet up with Easton had finally come, she half considered hopping on a plane and flying to the ends of the earth. But he deserved better than that. He deserved better than her and deserved to know just how far she had fallen from the person he thought her to be. Her heart ached as she took a seat on one of the couches in the common area and she knew that this was going to be the end of them. There was no way he would ever forgive her and she didn't have any right to ask.

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east_winds
2008-05-03 02:01 am UTC (link)

Easton, for his part, hadn't the slightest idea what it was that Sam wanted to meet to discuss. He'd seen her only for a split second, when he'd taken Prince back to her dorm room and she'd seemed downright exhausted. He'd left her be, figuring she would crash and rest up given the recent full moon. After the last one, she hadn't moved from his bed for at least a day afterwards - not that he'd minded of course, he hadn't exactly been jumping from beneath the covers to go running off either. He hoped that everything had gone alright this time around, Sam had wanted to do things on her own and he hoped that there hadn't been any ill consequences of that decision.

He moved through classes like normal, taking down new assignments as they came, turning in the ones that he'd finished. His parents had sent an e-mail a few days before, informing him that they would be away from home on holiday during his break from school, but he was free to come home anyway, if he'd like. He was considering it - it might be nice to get back on familiar turf for awhile. Perhaps Sam would like to come. She could save her birthday tickets for another time, this wouldn't exactly be the type of holiday he'd intended for her to have with them, after all.

When it came time to meet Sam, East headed out towards the common rooms she'd mentioned, tucking his keys into his pocket as he went. She'd never asked to speak to him on such a "third party" location before and, he had to admit, it made him a little nervous. Hopefully he was rather worked up, but for a good reason. Hands in his pockets, he stepped into the lounge where she sat, waiting for him. "Hey gorgeous," East leaned down to brush a kiss to her cheek before sinking down to take a seat beside her on the sofa. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

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fatebites
2008-05-03 02:50 am UTC (link)

The "third party" location was chosen specifically for the reason of not tainting one of "their" places. They rarely ever came to this part of the school so the spot where she inevitably broke his heart wouldn't be a place that he frequented. It was the least that she could do.

His scent reached her before his body ever did and she felt as if she might vomit as he walked up not having any idea what was going to happen. "Hey," she replied weakly. The kiss to her cheek caused her eyes to well with tears and there wasn't any way she was going to be able to look at him without crying. There would be no beating around the bush this time, she deserved whatever harsh words she had coming.

"Easton I have done something completely unforgivable." Her voice shook as she stared at her hands, tears sliding down her pale cheeks. "The night before the full moon I went into the city to get a drink and I...ran into someone." She picked at the cuticles of her fingers as she struggled to keep herself from completely breaking down before she finished her confession.

"We ended up getting into a fight and with everything going on it got out of hand and I lost control and...I betrayed you." Chocolate eyes finally chanced a glance at him, her gaze saying more than her words ever could. Sam really didn't want to get into the dirty details of it all but she did want him to understand what she was trying to say... That she had cheated on him.

"East I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this and I know you won't ever be able to look at me the same and..." Her sobbing eventually canceled out her words and she gave up, letting her head fall into her hands. "I'm so sorry..."

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east_winds
2008-05-03 03:02 am UTC (link)

She was crying before she ever even got a word out and that sight alone was enough to make his stomach drop. Sam wasn't a crier, she wasn't one prone to such overblown signs of emotion - at least not ones that he hadn't seen the cause of - and so it was understandably that he was almost immediately worried about whatever it was that she had to say.

He knew it was something about the full moon, he just knew it. He'd had a sinking feeling ever since she'd told him she wanted to spend it alone. He couldn't help it, Easton was prone to worrying about the people he cared about. And he'd been there, he'd seen how she got during a full moon, he didn't want that getting out of hand in a non-safe environment....though it sounded like that was exactly what had happened.

He swallowed hard, jaw set as he listened, trying to follow what it was that she was telling him. The details, her words, were vague, but her eyes had always given her away, they always would. He could see in them what she couldn't say, what she couldn't bring herself to tell him and Easton felt as if everything suddenly went numb. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach, shattered there and he closed his eyes for a moment, scrubbing his hands over his face as he let this settle. Who was he kidding? There was no settling, there was just....hurt, lots of it, and anger.

"Who?" he asked after a moment, his tone even, cold given all the turmoil that was ripping him up inside. It felt as though she'd taken a razor straight to his heart, cut the damned thing into pretty little crimson ribbons. He wanted to know, he had to. A complete stranger was one thing, maybe eventually he could learn to accept that it was more the moon than anything else...but that was why he had to ask, why he had to know.

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fatebites
2008-05-03 03:27 am UTC (link)

Her small frame shook as all of the guilt she had been bottling up for days came pouring out in waves. The gut wrenching feeling seemed to be unending and she knew that no matter the amount of penance she gave, she would never be absolved of her sins. She had done the one thing she never thought herself capable of and she did it to the man she loved.

His question made her heart stop and pulled her now red eyes up to meet his. "East please..." Did it matter? Sam would have liked to think that it didn't but the tone of his voice and the anger in his eyes told her otherwise. She had hoped that they could have gotten through this without any names but luck hadn't been on her side all week so why would it start now?

"Kiernan," she finally whispered. There was without a doubt in her mind that he was going to take that to mean something that it wasn't and she felt the need to explain. "But it's not what you think!" How was she supposed to make him understand? Think Sam, think! "I didn't want anything to happen, you have to believe me," she pleaded. "The moon just started to pull and it was like I was not longer in control of my own body and..."

Desperation sounded in her voice and she knew she was losing this uphill battle. Hell, she'd be surprised if he heard anything after "Kiernan."

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east_winds
2008-05-03 03:37 am UTC (link)

He had to know. He couldn't explain why it was the only thing that slipped past his lips, but he had to know. He couldn't walk through these halls, pass people on the streets and not wonder. And, given everything that had happened, he figured he deserved that much. That if he wanted to know, if he had the nerve to ask, then surely she would have the nerve to tell him.

Of course, nothing could have prepared him for the revelation she made, for the name that dropped from her lips. His eyes fell shut, head bowing forward to rest against steepled hands, his face buried inside of them, hidden from view as he reigned everything in, pulled himself together. "I knew..." he started, after a moment, voice low and quiet, "I knew there was something between you two from the moment I arrived. I said as much a handful of times and I always bought it when you said it was nothing." He shook his head, baffled by his own ability to miss such a thing, by how stupid he'd been and where it had landed them.

"I never should have said anything, I never should have tried getting in between the two of you," he shook his head, a hand raking back through his lengthening hair, a sign of his clear frustration with this entire moment. If it had been anyone else, anyone at all, maybe he could have believed that it was all the moon, all the product of a lack of control. But Kiernan? There was nothing casual about that, no matter how much she tried to convince him that there was.

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fatebites
2008-05-03 04:37 am UTC (link)

If Sam could sink into the floor right then and there she would have without a second thought. A little voice inside of her head told her that no matter how hard she tried to tell him that wasn't the case, he wasn't ever going to believe her. But he needed to, no matter how much he fought against her. He had to understand that there was nothing between her and Kiernan and things just got out of control and just...he just needed to believe.

"Easton no..." she pleaded as he started to speak. "It's not like that please believe me." There might have been a slight physical attraction there, Kiernan wasn't exactly ugly, but that was as far as it went. He was only her friend and she cared for him only as a friend. Any potential thoughts that there might have been something else had been erased the second Easton had shown up.

"Please Easty, it's not like that I swear." Small hands reached for him in an attempt to make him listen. "I swear it was just the moon and the fighting, you have to believe me." Her eyes were filled with desperation as she struggled to find the right words. "Do you see this?" she asked as she held up her left hand. I would have never accepted it if I didn't want to marry you some day. I love you and only you. Please, if you don't believe anything I ever tell you again, believe me when I tell you that."

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east_winds
2008-05-03 04:39 pm UTC (link)

It was all too much, really....too much to hear, too much to know. There was no way that all that hurt building up inside of him would allow him to sit there and listen to her tell him she loved him, much less believe her. It was an angry, cruel little voice he'd never heard before, never had use for, but at the moment it was the most comforting thing there was. He had trusted her completely, perhaps to a level that made him ridiculous and naive, and now this had happened. Maybe there truly had been a reason for why she'd wanted to go through this full moon alone, maybe Kiernan was that reason. Just the thought of it made his jaw clench, had him drawing away as she reached for him. No touching...touching was too much when you already teetered on the edge of some dark, emotional abyss.

"There is something between you two and we both know it," he moved to stand, hands running back through his hair, "and whatever it was, at some point that night you made a decision not to leave, to stay there with him. Now I know the bloody moon turns you all stark-raving mad, I've been there, but I know that for awhile you would have been reasonable enough to leave. But you chose to stay there, with him, knowing how the moons make you." Maybe he was babbling, maybe it didn't make any sense, but to him it did and, at that moment, that was what mattered.

The ring was like a knife to the gut - a lot of good that bloody thing turned out to be. Here they were, what, a week or two later and already it's promise had been voided. He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't stand there and listen, to look at her face as she tried to plead with him to understand when he couldn't get over that lump in his gut. She just kept saying Kiernan was a friend, nothing but a friend....but wasn't that how they had started out as well? Easton wasn't exactly the type to think that friends never became anything else, he knew differently and that made it all that much harder.

"I guess this means...we're done," he was trying to keep things together for another moment or two, long enough to get away. He took one last look at her, the hurt evident in his eyes, and had to turn and walkaway, had to get away from there. It was too much....everything he'd hoped for, wanted, assumed that they would one day have together had just been demolished in a matter of moments. Easton just wanted it all gone, wanted to be numb for awhile and he knew exactly how to go about it.

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