InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Maybe he's agoraphobic?"

Teritus "Wesley Drakon" Venizelos (tattooed_skin) wrote in halcyon_halls,
@ 2008-04-19 00:35:00

Entry tags:

kat, wes

Week Eight: Monday
Where: Wes' Office
When: Late Afternoon
Who: Wes, and Kat
What: Wes finally shares the dark secret.

Nerves, they were certainly getting to him now. Wes couldn't recall the last time he had been this nervous. It wasn't a good emotion... it was pointless, he thought. All it did was fuck you over, when you needed to be calm, and collected. When stuttering over your words, or saying something fucking stupid, was really out of the question. Further more, it was his office, the place that rarely used. So blank, and bare, compared to the shop, or his classroom. But, this wasn't a conversation, that he needed to have interupted. So, the office was the best way to go about things. Especially if he had to worry about her reacting, in the same way Starbuck had... he shouldn't have told him. Not until he had talked to Kat, he knew that now. But, it had given him some idea, of what he might be in for. So on that side, it had been helpful. But, he didn't see any more art lessons in their future.

Not that he wanted to same kind of reaction out of her. Fuck, he didn't know what he wanted her to say, or do. He didn't know what he was going to say yet. There was really no graceful way of going about things, but he didn't think just saying 'Hey, I'm your dad.' was the best idea either. Some how, he'd manage to say it. He would do it, as delicately, as he possible could. He was sitting at his desk, slumped low in the seat, his fingers curling in his beard, while a uncountable number of thoughts raced through his mind. After this was taken care of... he would still have to tell Piper, and his other kids. He knew how Piper would react. The two had been together, when Kat was conceived. It would be another long ass phone conversation, of her telling him what a piece of shit he was. A nice big reminder, of what a fuck up he could be. Yeah, that would be helpful.

Then there was River, and Frida. How would they handle learning about a new sibling? River had been his boy, his eldest, his first born. A place of pride, in their family. Now that was gone, and he could only imagine how angry his son would be. For one, it was another betrayal to his mother, and it showed how careless he could truly be. As for Frida, well, she likely wouldn't speak to him for a time, being so much like her mother. Not that he could blame her. This changed everything. When there was a knock at his door, his head snapped up, his stomach turning so furiously, that he thought he might be sick. Taking a deep breath, he sat up in his chair, his eyes moving around the room, before finally resting on the door. "It's open." He called. This was the moment... it was time.

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castledown
2008-04-19 09:48 pm UTC (link)

Kat had no idea why the fuck Wes wanted to meet with her but as long as it kept him from doing any further snooping into her personal life, she'd go with it. It was pretty creepy that he was being all shady and to be honest she couldn't come up with a reason as to why he was interested in her at all. Sure she was some chick's kid that he used to know, but that didn't qualify them for BFF status or anything and it sure as hell didn't give him a right to ask questions about her. Why did so many people at this school think that snooping was the way to go? Fucking losers. If they wanted to know something all they had to do was ask. How difficult was that really?

After her last class she didn't make any effort to hurry as she went to put her shit away. What was the point? As far as she was concerned, she was doing him the favor so he could wait for her while she got something to drink and then meandered toward his office. Fortunately she wasn't a complete pain in the ass and didn't stop to chitchat much or join in on the game of guitar hero that was going on in the common room. She might be a bitch, but she wasn't a complete one so bonus for the guy waiting on her.

When she eventually got there, she knocked like a good little student and entered once the cue was given. His office was the complete opposite of his shop and to be honest, it was a little daunting. Bare, white walls and a gruff looking teacher type sitting behind his desk? Yeah, she didn't feel like she was in trouble or anything, what the fuck? She better not be in trouble for anything because last she checked, she hadn't really done anything that warranted any action. Okay maybe she had, but so far she had done a pretty good job of avoiding Selene so score.

A seat was taken in front of his desk and as she leaned back, she watched him with suspicion dancing in her pale blue eyes. "So what's this all about?" No point beating around the bush with this one.

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tattooed_skin
2008-04-20 01:42 am UTC (link)

Seeing her, didn't help matters. He hadn't seen her, since she'd been tattooed, a few weeks before. But, she'd been ever present in his thoughts. Now, he found himself looking for anything that made them resemble one another. Thank goodness she didn't take after him, that would have been truly unfortunate. Though, he thought he saw a bit of his mother in her. Could be his imagination though. In fact, that's probably what it was, because he could barely remember what his mother looked like... it had been so fucking long ago. She was only a blur of a memory now.

"Thanks for showing up... really." He said, lowering his hands, until he was leaning against the top of his desk. She maybe watching him, but he didn't think he'd be able to look at her, and get it out. "Well, first, I need to apologize. I shouldn't have been a sneaky asshole, and I can promise you, it won't happen again. From now on, if I have something I want to know, I'll come to you. I won't expect you to be outright with anything though." If there would any place in her life, for him, it needed to be based on honesty. Or, that was what he believed. He also had to get used to the chance, that she might not be open with him. If she was his kid, it bothered him a bit, because he was close with his children. But this situation was so fucked up, he knew the chance was slim.

Sighing, he finally looked to her, "The reason I had been asking around about you, is because I was trying to get an idea of who you are. People show their friends a side, that they won't show a stranger. I wanted to make sure, that what I had seen of you, was in fact who you really are. That you weren't putting on, or whatever." It was obvious by the man his hands fidgeted, and how he struggled for the will to speak, that he was anxious. "Listen, I can't do the whole bullshit thing, so I'll just get down to it. After our conversation about your Mom, about when you were born... about you being part demon, it... it sorta became obvious to me..." His jaw clenched, as he took a deep breath. "Kat, your Mom, and I were together at times... Because of that, and what I've discovered, I think... I think I'm your dad." Everything fit too well, and they were too similar for it not to be true.

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castledown
2008-04-20 02:12 am UTC (link)

A slender brow quirked when he started to apologize and she could feel her suspicion grow. What was this "from now on" business? He made it sound like they would be having these little chats in the future and if he had learned anything, it was that Kat didn't do heart to hearts. So then...what the hell? Well at least he was smart with the no expectations thing. Colored her super confused. Maybe he was smoking a little something-something? That might explain a few things.

At his next words, she couldn't decide whether he was just some creepy stalker or just plain crazy. Kat didn't put up fronts. Maybe she could be a little bitchier depending on the time of day, but generally speaking, she was a bitch 24-7. Sure there were some times where she appeared to be "softer" but those were more like downtimes than anything. But hey, even the biggest badass could have their moments. It was just few and far between on her end. Probably had something to do with the whole battered childhood she had which meant that it was all some sort of defense mechanism but whatever. Deep down, she was a no nonsense kind of gal.

Kat had remained silent through his speech and stayed that way even after his admission. Well now that was unexpected. Fuck. Outwardly, she remained completely stoic, her gaze never wavering as she watched him like he hadn't just made possibly the biggest revelation in her life. After what probably felt like a lifetime, she glanced down and cleared her throat. "You mean sperm donor. I don't have a dad." Her words were cool but not quite cold. It was just the simple the truth as far as she was concerned.

It was odd, the lack of emotions. One would figure that she would feel something. Anger, joy, betrayal, something. But no, all she felt was numb. Maybe it was denial on her part and maybe she would become overwhelmed later but right now there was nothing. Over the years she had become good at shutting down. "So are we all good here? You feel better now that you got that off your chest?" Because really, he wasn't doing her any favors. Any hopes of having a happy family on her end were long gone and never coming back.

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tattooed_skin
2008-04-20 03:35 am UTC (link)

His finger rubbed hard against the area between his eyes, "Fair enough... had I known from the start, things would be different." He couldn't apologize for what had happened, nor did any the promises, that her life would have been better, made a difference now. For his lack of presence in her life, nothing he said, would completely express how regretful her was, nor would it hold any water. They were just words now. "I don't expect anything to change. But, I would be like for it to." Meaning, he wanted to have some place with her, if she allowed it. Wes knew it wouldn't be like it was with his other kids, but he didn't want to just pretend that there was not this bond between them. That didn't mean he was going to push they matter. The ball was in her court now.

"No, and no. I don't expect you to stick around, if you don't want to." Maybe it would be better, if they kept this short. Sitting around in thoughtful silence would quickly become awkward. It was obvious that neither knew what the fuck to say. Both knew that nothing that was said, would improve the situation. Or erase all that bad that had happened, and replace it with what could have been. Yeah, it was nice to think about how they could have built a proper relationship, shared the same expereicnes, that parent, and child should have. But really, knowing how drasticlly different it was to how things were, it was only painful.

Fuck, if only he could go back... if only things could be different. "If you ever decided you want to talk, doesn't matter when, or what it's about, I'm here." Wes felt he owed her a lot. Though on the larger scale, nothing he did would really matter, he wanted to make some attempt. To at least let her know, that he wasn't going to turn his back on her, if she decided to one day change her mind about this.

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castledown
2008-04-20 04:15 am UTC (link)

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "Right, and the Easter Bunny is real." Sorry but Kat wasn't going to believe that he would have stuck around and helped raise some prostitute's daughter. That shit only happened in fairy tales and movies and she sure as hell wasn't going to end up living happily ever after. "Do me a favor and hold your breath on that one." If he had done his homework then he would have known that Kat was one of the most stubborn people in the school. He also would have learned that her sarcasm was a defense mechanism but she wasn't about to admit that.

"Good because I've got people to do and shit to see." Drum roll please. A slight smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth but it was gone just as quickly as it came. As she stood, she could feel the numbness starting to wear off and give way toward something she wasn't ready to deal with just yet. Fuck that noise. Kat didn't play well with emotions and she didn't think the school would appreciate the pipes bursting if she ended up losing her shit.

Her feet had carried her about halfway to the door when when his offer to talk had been made. Somewhere deep down inside her chest a sharp pang was felt but she quickly dismissed it and put her game face on. "Sure, whatever." It was a little harsher than she should have been but what the fuck was she supposed to do? Run up and call him daddy? Uh no, wasn't going to happen. At least not any time soon anyway.

The smart thing to do would have been to just walk right on out the door and leave, but she paused in the doorway and glanced over her shoulder. "When I was a kid, I wished for you every night and every time that woman laid a hand on me...but you never came. So don't expect me to show up this time around." A thin sheen of tears coated her blue eyes and shimmered under the harsh lights of his office. "Because if there was one thing that I learned growing up, it was that wishes don't ever come true." And with that she turned her back on him and took her leave.

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