22 March 2013 @ 06:59 pm
HP: The Boy Who Loved Bananas (Oliver/Percy, PG-13, One-Shot)  
Title: The Boy Who Loved Bananas
Author: [info]sdk
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing/Characters: Oliver/banana, Percy/banana, Oliver/Percy
Rating: PG-13
Length/Word Count: One-Shot, 1,025 words
Warnings/Content: Inappropriate banana love? Percy and Oliver are both still students when this takes place. (Banana's age is unknown.)
Summary: Oliver Wood liked to eat bananas. An indecent amount of bananas. Not that Percy was paying particular attention to that fact.
Notes: Written for [info]roozetter who won my services as part of fandomaid. I blame her for everything. Thanks to [info]train_tracks for the beta! <3
Disclaimer: The following is based on fictional characters I don't own doing fictional things in a fictional world I did not create. No copyright infringement intended.

The Boy Who Loved Bananas

Oliver Wood liked to eat bananas. An indecent amount of bananas. It wasn't that Percy was particularly interested in what Oliver Wood did or did not put in his mouth, but one couldn't help notice his predilection for the yellow fruit.

At breakfast, he had one with his morning toast. During History of Magic, he pulled two out of his bag and ate one straight after the other as if he couldn't get enough of the mushy texture. After Quidditch practice and post-shower, with his hair still wet and stuck to his forehead as if he didn't know a decent drying charm to save him from the chilly air, he'd emerge from the changing rooms with a banana already peeled and half of it stuffed in his mouth.

It was positively obscene.

That morning, at breakfast, Percy watched Oliver pick the longest banana out of the fruit bowl. He unpeeled it in the manner of a cave man, roughly pulling the skin free from the soft, moist fruit, which was his usual manner. But then, he broke from his routine. His eyes fluttered closed as he slid the tip between his full lips, his tongue darting out for a quick caress. Then he sucked half-way down the length, and Percy nearly thought he heard Oliver moan.

And when Oliver opened his eyes again, he was staring straight at Percy.

Percy's cheeks heated in an embarrassing manner and he quickly drew his gaze away and back to his own breakfast, where it belonged.

When he dared to look up again, Oliver had finished his banana and was engrossed in a conversation with Fred about Bludger charms or some other Quidditch technicalities that Percy couldn't quite follow.

Percy breathed a sigh of relief.

Ignoring the illogical tinge of disappointment that thrummed through him, Percy stood and gathered his notes on the twelve uses of ginger root in healing potions and his essay on the Goblin Rebellion of 1612 and stuffed them rather haphazardly in his bag. He felt a presence behind him and a banana popped into his view.

"You should try one sometime," Oliver said. His voice tickled the hairs on the back of Percy's neck. He slipped the banana into Percy's bag, his chest pressing up warmly against Percy's back for one terrifyingly tingly moment. "They're delicious."

Percy was having a hard time getting his jaw to work to form a proper answer, but he finally managed to eek out, "Perhaps."

But when he turned, Oliver was gone.

The banana stayed in Percy's bag for the rest of the day. He slipped out his spell book for Transfiguration and carefully replaced his History of Magic text as to not squish the fruit, but despite the few times Percy's fingers accidentally brushed over the banana, it stayed put, out of sight, until he was getting ready for his rounds.

He affixed his shiny silver Prefect badge onto the right collar of his robes, but as he was storing his bag in his chest, at the last moment, he grabbed the banana and slipped into his pocket.

He refused to think about why.

It was a quiet night. Long shadows fell over Hogwarts corridors, only interrupted by the flare of the torches that lit when Percy approached, then dimmed as soon as he passed. The banana brushed against him with every stride he took, sometimes poking his hip, and sometimes it was a mere ghostly touch sliding against his thigh. It was...bothersome. Distracting. And yet Percy couldn't seem to bring himself to move it.

Halfway through his rounds though, he'd had enough. He ducked into an alcove, the nearby torch casting a faint yellow light into the shadows, and he pulled the banana free from his pocket.

He stared at the fruit that had so captured Oliver Wood's fancy. It didn't seem all that special. It did have a pleasing shape, Percy could admit to that much, and it was firm and fit comfortably in his hand, but that still didn't seem to be enough to ensnare someone so thoroughly. After all, Oliver didn't seem to be able to get enough of them.

Percy took a deep breath and carefully bent the end to break apart the rind. He peeled back a layer, then another, and finally the third, exposing the starchy flesh. His mouth inexplicably watered and he was helpless but to bring the elongated fruit to his lips. His eyes fell closed. An image of Oliver with his banana formed in Percy's mind, and Percy followed Oliver's movement without thought, his tongue skimming along the curve of the fruit as he pushed it further inside until his mouth was so full, his cheeks were bursting.

It was too much to take in one bite, so Percy pulled the banana out, but as his lips slid along the sweet fruit, a delicious tingle shot down his spine.

He wanted to feel that again.

Percy pushed the fruit into his mouth as far as it would go and back out again and shivered once more. He repeated the motion, tonguing the curve as it glided in and out of his mouth until the banana became so mushy he was forced to swallow it down.

He stood there, panting, an empty rind dangling from his hand. He felt full, and yet bereft now that he'd consumed the banana.

He turned and leaned his forehead against the cool stone and closed his eyes.

Light footsteps alerted Percy to another's presence, but before he could straighten himself out, the person slipped into the alcove and trapped Percy against the wall.

"I knew you'd appreciate them as much as I do," Oliver Wood whispered. The discarded rind was taken from Percy's hand, a new banana slipped into its place. "Want another?"

Oliver turned Percy and brought the banana still wrapped in Percy's hand to his lips. He bit the end and tore open the skin with his teeth and Percy shuddered.

Finding his voice, Percy whispered, "Perhaps." He swallowed thickly and dared to add, "Or perhaps we can share."

Oliver smiled.

And Percy would never question his love for bananas again.


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alisanne[info]alisanne on March 23rd, 2013 02:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm not sure I have anything profound to say about this one. *giggles*
Hilarious, though! :)
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쉘리 I whip my hair like Bang Bang[info]sdk on March 23rd, 2013 03:03 am (UTC)
I think I'd be more worried if you did have something profound to say, LOL. Thanks, bb! <3
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(no subject) - [info] on March 23rd, 2013 03:42 am (UTC)
쉘리 I whip my hair like Bang Bang[info]sdk on March 23rd, 2013 04:20 am (UTC)
Hilarious and hot? Yes! Well, I was really only going for wacky good times, but I will totally take the hot too!! Haha, I'm so pleased. Thank you! <3
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roozetter: Men Kissing Men[info]roozetter on March 24th, 2013 06:07 pm (UTC)

Dude, I love your brain. I am blowing it kisses and winks and maybe licking my lips in its direction. Me + your brain = OTP <333

Hahahaha! This is AWESOME! I love Oliver, I love Percy, I love the bananas. I was grinning like a fool the entire time I was reading this, and actually spilled the coffee I was holding because I was so caught up in reading I FORGOT ABOUT MY COFFEE. How does that even happen, homes? idek.

This is fabulous and funny and kinda wrong in an awesometastic way. #love
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쉘리 I whip my hair like Bang Bang: coffee prince - piggy back[info]sdk on March 24th, 2013 08:49 pm (UTC)
Hahaha omg. You forgot about your coffee. HIGHEST COMPLIMENT EVER.

Dude, I'm so glad you liked this. I had a ton of fun writing it, I'll admit. LOL

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