When Hearts Break
Cautiously hopeful.

That was how the voice had sounded. Victoria's sense of hearing was very acute and her girlfriend's mannerisms were as welcome as they were familiar to her. She had learnt how to read the girl well and, whilst this invitation to meet might have been worrying, considering the tone, it could also be interpreted as perhaps optimistic. Maybe there was some kind of surprise in store, for having got the redhead her new truck. Vicky had no way of knowing and, in truth, felt that perhaps it was better that way.

The trip over to that little town of sand and dust had become a journey of almost second nature, by now. Her outfit might seem a bit too classy for these parts, but Victoria did so like to dress up for her partner. Spread a little sparkly darkness her way, so to speak.

With that in mind, there was a strange mixture of worry and happiness, which accompanied her knock on the trailer door.

"Mallory?" She called. "Are you in, honey?"

"I'm back here."

Mallory called the response from the bedroom of the trailer, where she had just finished putting away the last of the laundry. Had to have something to keep herself occupied while she waited and she took a minute to gather her wits, before padding through the living room to the door. This was kind of like those few anticipatory moments before pulling off a band-aid, thinking about how much it was probably going to hurt. Maybe if she pulled it off all at once, though, it wouldn't be so bad.

She put Tuffy into the bathroom before opening the door. The dog had never got used to the vampire's presence and she did not want to push her luck. "Hi," she said to Victoria, gesturing for her to come inside. "Wow, you look great," she added, giving the brunette an appreciative look.

How to start? Might as well get it over with.

"How much do you love me?"

Well, that seemed like an odd question to ask. Also a very ominous one. Upon hearing it, Victoria could not help but frown in response. There was nothing preventing herself from entering through the doorway and so, having long ago been invited, the vampiress stepped into her girlfriend's personal space and pressed a cool kiss to mouth. Whatever was in store, she never seemed to tire of the opportunity to give the redhead's a kiss, whether in passion or not.

"Does that answer your question?" She asked, giving a small, hopeful stroke to partner's hair and closed the door behind her. "What's up?"

The redhead's arms went around her girlfriend's neck and she just stood there without answering for a long moment. It did kind of answer her question, but what about after?

When she had got as much comfort as she could out of the hug, she pulled back enough to see Victoria's face. "Do you love me enough?" She asked with a self-conscious chuckle. She knew she was being cryptic, like she was in a soap opera or something, but there it was. She crossed the room to open the drawer where she had been keeping her brand-new Homeland Security badge.

"I got to thinking, y'know?" A tentative question. "Maybe they've got a point. Maybe there are things which need to be done to take care of problems before they happen. Maybe I can help, make a difference, somehow." She lifted her arm, where the red line of the incision was still healing.

"You deserve to know."

Victoria slowly opened mouth, using it to form an increasingly audible, "Ohhh..."

So, the girl had taken the governmental bait. Victoria should have realised, all things considered. Her favourite redhead had made a habit of hunting demons, after all, regardless of how dubious the level of success might have been in the past. One relative to Slayers, anyway. She often forgot just how deeply Mallory had been in that calling and now...

Hmm. Now...

Silently, slowly nodding, the vampiress clicked tongue against teeth. She now totally understood what had been up and could hardly fault her partner for being a tad nervous about making such a declaration. "Don't trust my fangs in your neck, but you let Washington slit your wrists, huh?" Victoria opined in wry amusement. Black humour was often the way to make light of such things and she affected a friendly smile. Smiled and sighed. "Looks like things are going to be an awful lot more complicated between us, from now on," she observed with a comical raising of eyebrow.

The slim chance existed that Mallory could talk the vampire into joining the program along with her, that logic and reason would work and, if not that, then a kind of cajolery. Manipulative? Maybe, possibly, but it might work. Victoria was not like Katherine, who was a creature of chaos on her best day - and was not like Deanna, either. So long as they could talk about it, there was a chance.

"It doesn't have to be different," Mallory said, taking the necessary steps across the room to close the distance between herself and the brunette. She was still holding the identification wallet and her free hand took the other woman's in a gentle, familiar clasp. "I didn't intend for anything to change. I feel like we can work through this." Why not, after all? They had worked through everything else. Vampirism, other relationships, whether or not they could be a monogamous couple; all of it seemed like a much bigger deal than this. "I was thinking we could figure something out. I know the grace period is over, but I can get you an appointment with somebody. They're still taking volunteers."

Victoria remembered being invited to the conference and, although her state of being would have obvious advantages, she was not a fighter. Most of all, she did not want anything to do with the destruction of vampires - especially not after her involvement with bloodied sister's demise, regardless of it being inadvertent. The vampiress had, for the most part, but hoping that she could play for more time. She did not want to take sides and yet, here was her girlfriend, pretty much forcing the issue.

Giving a frustrated whine, Victoria brought one hand up and scratched the back of her head. It was done more out of an expression of mental discomfort, than anything else.

"If I join, I'll have to play a part in betraying my own kind. I'll be tracked. I won't be able to... Do the kind of stuff I dreamed of, 'cause I'll be mandated to stay where they want me. I won't have... Well, freedom," she explained, raising arms out to each side. "On the other hand, if I don't, not only are my assets going to get frozen, but I'll be hunted down and now they can use you against me. It's actually the last which upsets me the most, Mallory..."

Adopting a somewhat depressed expression, the vampiress wandered over to sit down on the couch, now feeling rather deflated. This effectively meant one thing and one thing only.

"It comes down to who I don't want hurt in the future, the most... And if Deanna's not wanting any part of it, what if I have to stake her, one day, too? I'd have to run. Go 'rogue'. And then what?"

Really, Mallory should have known. That as relatively 'harmless' as Victoria was, she was still a vampire. Just like Julia had said. Mallory watched the brunette ease her weight onto the sofa, fidgeting with the wallet and badge, before setting them aside.

"I don't know 'then what'," she admitted. "I don't know what's going to happen or how long this is going to last. I'm just trying to deal with the situation as it is." She looked down at her hands briefly, then over at the window towards the dark yard outside. "You'd really choose her over me?" She queried, deciding to cut to the quick of it for a change. "After all of this, after she kicked you out, after the two of us have got this far together? Is that what you're saying?"

It was like rolling down a hill, once Mallory had got started, she could not stop and her hands started to shake, so she stuffed them into her pockets. "I've never asked you for anything before. Not once. I'm asking you for this now, though. Please, Victoria. I don't want things to be different, for this to separate us."

Agh... Victoria clenched jaw, grinding teeth together once, as she underwent that oh-so-familiar sensation of being handed the brush to paint herself into a corner. Mallory was effectively making her choose. Just by virtue of the question. Asking for proof of her own loyalty. Not that it was wrong, of course and Victoria understood that. She just did not want to have to confront this, so soon.

And what would happen with Star? If she signed up to accept a salary, how could she teach the girl what it meant to be a vampire? A real vampire? The obvious answer was, yet again, to compromise. If she had been asked to, Victoria would have lost count of the sheer number of times she had settled for such a solution, in recent times. What was it all for, anyway? 'Special Agent Foxworth' would have to pretty much live more like a human than ever. Lines were going to be drawn in the sand and, eventually, some sort of opposing organisation was going to start head-hunting, too.

Her mind was set. She wanted to turn Star. Wanted to make her fanged masterpiece. Wanted to make her vampire film and contribute something truly artistic to the world, at large. Perhaps even influence a few other future 'Victoria Foxworths', out there. But also did not want to stab her redhead in the emotional back by refusing to contemplate this new offer. So, she would take Mallory at her more literal word, rather than joining up. It was a strategic move, but also probably the most intelligent one.

"OK," she said, looking up. "I'm willing to attend an appointment and hear what they have to say, but no promises."

Affecting a more heartfelt type of smile, however, Victoria leaned forward, taking the girl's nearest hand out of pocket and pulling her in, gesturing to sit beside. "Don't you dare think I'm that enslaved to Deanna," she reassured, sliding fingernails through that red hair she adored so much. If Mallory ever dyed it blonde or something, she would really miss that. "I just don't want to be responsible for turning her into dust, that's all. I can't do that, any more than you'd be able to just casually shoot your own mother. Probably even less so."

Eyes trailed down the girl's neck and Victoria expressed a further sigh.

"Maybe I should be the one trying to convince you, once and for all, to come over to the Dark Side, instead..."

Was it wrong of her to ask for such a large concession? Mallory didn't think so. These people were serious about taking an interest in the supernatural goings-on in Las Vegas and she did not want Victoria running afoul of them. And regardless of any possible threat they might pose, she had the conviction that Project Integration could be a good thing with the right people in on it. The brunette could be very persuasive when she wanted to be.

"Thank you, Victoria," the mortal said, slipping her arm around the vampire's waist. She would get her an appointment with Markowitz if she could, since the agent who had sat down with her talked a lot of sense. "It means a lot to me that you'd agree to at least hear them out. I just want you to be safe, you know that." She leaned her head onto her girlfriend's shoulder, pressing a kiss to the space just underneath her jaw. "Got plans for tonight? Can you stay?"

Whenever the subject of turning came up, it always seemed like the redhead changed the subject. Not that Victoria could necessarily blame her, but as a vampiress, it sort of caused a miniature thundercloud to loom overhead. "I can," she nevertheless smiled. It was well after dusk, as it was. That tended to be the only way Victoria was able to travel such a distance. Staying until the following evening would not hurt.

"Still got some work on my film to do," she mentioned, shifting herself to snuggle in more warmly. Victoria did not need television. Not when she had her. Fingers of the hand immediately behind her girlfriend's head starting to caress and stroke through hair. "It's almost all done."

"I'm glad its going well," the redhead said, curling up against Victoria's side like a cat at the feeling of fingers in her hair. "I know you'd been kind of at a loss for something to do without Fang Noir. It's good to see you happy about how things are going."

It was not that she meant to be evasive on the subject of turning, at least not consciously. Better to deflect any suggestion of it, though, than to have to confront Victoria with the information that she had no desire to be a vampire, not even loving her the way she did. She was too aware that she wouldn't be very much like the brunette if it happened.

She laced her fingers through the brunette's, wanting to hang on to this moment of quiet. Maybe it was wrong of her to want to avoid arguments, but so be it.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"I do, squirrel, I do..."

Victoria placed a further kiss upon her girlfriend's lips again. Something chaste and romantic. She wondered if Mallory had capitalised on their agreement yet. It often eluded Victoria how the girl could apparently think so badly of her cahnces at attraction. No, she might not dress or act overwhelmingly feminine, but the vampiress did find her rather alluring. Maybe it was that 'love' thing they had both come to declare. She could detect the scents of others upon the redhead, but not necessarily anything which screamed out sexual intercourse.

Aside from what was directed at her, of course.

But a more light-hearted issue came to mind and she nudged the redhead between ribs. "Are you gonna' keep me hanging in suspense?" She dug. "What'd you think of the truck?"

"Eep!" It was a squeak and Mallory wriggled away from the brunette with a mock annoyed expression. "The truck is wonderful, thank you," she replied, finding a tickle point of her own near Victoria's ribcage. "Like Christmas in the spring."

She settled back into her former place, giving her girlfriend a slightly amused look. "Surprised you had the nerve to try that again, actually, but thank you. I always feel like I never get you anything decent."

"Well, you know, I'd suggest buying me dinner, but I'm a girl on an all-liquid diet... Doctor's orders!"

With a mixture of smile and giggles, Victoria made a small yelp at her partner's action and lightly slapped at the hand with a teasing, "Manners, Miss Quinn...!" Her weight shifting a little, as the vampiress placed a hand of her own to the side of the redhead's face. Not in the way of before, but in the style of admiring a piece of art. It was no secret that she found something intrinsically beautiful about the girl's features. Something oddly magical. As much as she had often wanted to give her the gift of vampirism, Vicky often seemed to picture her as a sort of partially-fallen angel.

And while she was on the mental subject of that...

"I've, um... I've got something to tell you," she said, expression softening to something akin to seriousness. "It's about that film, actually. I know you said what I'm about to say would be fine, but we also had an agreement about honesty..."

Taking a pause, Victoria doubted this would lead to anything horrid, but as she had just reminded, they did have an agreement. An important agreement.

"I found someone who wants me to give them fangs... It's what's going to be captured in digital, broadcast to the world and the public won't even know it. It's part of the story, but the two of us felt putting it on camera would be... Well... A world first." Another pause was made and Victoria made sure not to inject feelings of pride into the idea. She kept her tone of voice neutral. Anything else might give the wrong sort of impression. "I need to know if you're OK with that," she asked. "I wanted you to be my first. It'll mean she'll be, like, my daughter in blood, I guess."

"Oh. Um...."

Well, now there was a real subject change. Mallory could feel the frown creasing her brow as Victoria's words sank in and she looked at the other woman in silence for a few minutes before speaking. Seeming, at least, to be listening, because this was important. Not saying the first thing that came stampeding into her consciousness.

God, why did you tell me that?!

"Well, that's... Um. Wow, I guess you've been busy."

The inanity of the words struck the redhead and she frowned more deeply, as she dropped her gaze to her lap. Her stomach had just done a really weird thing and she was unsure what word to put to it. Anxiety, maybe? Possibly.

"Do I know her?" A reasonable question, since it always seemed like if two people met on a street corner they might never have seen one another before, but they would both know Victoria. "Please at least tell me its not Jill again. I love you, but I will not put up with her a second time."

It was almost a joke, which was kind of good, but that weird feeling lingered underneath the attempt at humour. Maybe she should try and identify it before too much time passed. Because if she did not, it would probably end up biting her in the rear.

Hm... Victoria thought it might go this way.

"No, it's not Jill," she reassured, still cupping face. "And it's not Purity, either. Although she does do magic."

'Put up with her'... That choice of phrase spoke volumes. Victoria was often so compromising precisely because, perhaps oddly, for a vampire, she was aware of the potential for others treating her in similar ways. Many seemed to often expect her to have a veritable harem, but Victoria was not nearly so hedonistic as all that. She often killed, although it was with seduction and erotic thrills. Bizarrely, her tally of victims might just have added up to the most happiest in fanged history. The only sticking point was really when Elfleda had been influencing her and Vicky seemed to remember very little from that.

Affecting a light-hearted sigh, smiling as she did so, Victoria pressed another kiss to the girl's lips, offering her affection. She did not want to come across as dismissive. Not in the least.

"You were the one to tell me you wanted us to be casual, on the physical side of things, remember...? Against my better judgement, I agreed to that, 'cause I wanted what we have to work. So... Don't bottle up, Mallory Quinn. I want you to tell me what's changed, between then and now."

"That's not..."

It was coming closer now, the name to that weird feeling and Mallory squirmed as though a bathroom trip might be becoming necessary. It was anxiety, of a sort, but not over being replaced. She and Victoria loved one another, loved eachother enough to set aside some major differences between themselves and it was not as if there had not been other partners. No, this was something else, something different.

So, the other did magic, but it was not Purity. Another witch? Hmm.

"Its not about sex, Vicky," the redhead said in a low voice, adding a shake of head for emphasis. "And if you're talking about Sonya, she's... Not interested. I would have it be otherwise, but that's not happening." Her expression was rueful as she spoke and she waved at the world outside the trailer. This new thing, this honesty, was often difficult, but she did not want to screw this up. To blow it, the way she had with Alicia. Victoria meant too much to her.

So, what was with the weirdness?

"She actually said she wanted fangs?"

"Sonya, huh?" A one-shouldered shrug. "I had my suspicions..."

There was no malice behind the phrase. The vampiress had a far greater range and degree of sensitivity, when it came to things like scent, than a human being would. It was a main reason for why she was able to be so successful at choosing a target. Prettiness helped, of course. That went without saying. But by knowing who she would have the greatest chances of success at seduction with, the subject of nutrition was not an issue with which she tended to have much trouble. Vicky knew who had the hots for her - but also who had it for others. She could put a picture of arousal together with who it seemed like someone was looking at or thinking about, giving her a decent idea of what might be going on.

"It's something we've spoken about for a while, but, yeah... It's been requested." Eyeing her mortal girlfriend, Victoria drew in a breath for the sake of speaking. The redhead wanted to know details. She would give them. "Her name's Star. Star Tomlin. Remember that nightclub which just sort of... Self-demolished? Natasha Rockwell kept playing there. Anyway, she in the news for be under suspicion for an insurance scam or whatever, about it. Came to nothing, of course. But, yeah, it's her... Got a face for the movies, so, I offered her mine. Except, now, we're going for more realism than before. And considering she's a practicing witch, I think turning's going to make a world of difference. The stuff of legends, y'know?"

There. Now the girl had the inside track. The scoop. The exclusive. She may or may not have met the former nightclub owner, but the likelihood was that she ahd at least heard about her. Perhaps even seen a picture.

Walking a couple of fingers up the redhead's top, guiding over to skin, then, somewhat lovingly, to neck, Victoria tracked the journey with eyes before looking up again to meet one gaze with her own. "If you want someone to have a few words with Sonya," she volunteered, "I can do it..." Perhaps a little sacrificially, yes, but it was hardly as if Victoria would turn her nose up at having a threesome, either.

Star. Star Tomlin. A pretty name for what was probably a very pretty girl. Victoria always attracted the lookers, drew them in like fireflies. Mallory was starting to feel a little sick to her stomach.

'The stuff of legends'.

Fuck.

"No." She declined Vicky's offer with a distracted headshake, adding, "I don't want to be an asshole about it. If she wanted me, she'd say so." She touched the vampire lightly on the shoulder, feeling the sudden urge to get up and rummage in the fridge for a beer. Alcohol on a suddenly way-too-tight stomach? Sure, why not? She had got worse ideas.

Star. Star Tomlin. She was probably beautiful.

So, this was what an attack of conscience felt like. She had almost forgotten.

"Are you asking me for my approval?" Mallory looked at the other woman, pondering the self-realisation she just had and how much she loved the brunette. Whether or not those two things could co-exist remained to be seen. "Because I know how much... That... Means to you, having that connection with someone. I'm not sure what kind of response to give, what I'm supposed to say." Or what's safe to say if I want to avoid an argument again.

"Have you given her an answer yet?"

"It's in the script. Up to me if we fake or do it for real. She'll end up immortal, one way or another, regardless, just like any other movie star."

Victoria found this somewhat refreshing. Being on the level, like this. Yes, it was virtually a done deal, but if the redhead was on the brink of something as monumental, then she would want to be informed, too. The final say in it, ultimately, was her own to give, no other's. Nevertheless, this girl factored into it hugely. Victoria would just love to turn them both and many more, besides, but that was not her way. Only a fantasy, like the millions, perhaps even billions of others, dreamed up every second of the day, all over the world. Victoria's speciality was in helping to make fantasies come true, it seemed and that extended to her own, as much as anyone else's. But even so, she was a responsible girl.

"I'm asking you if it's going to play hell with your mind," the brunette stated. It will be out in cinemas, after all. Or at least, it will if I can find a distributor. There'll probably be at least a few posters you'll see with her face on it, every so often, too. Maybe even some magazine articles. "You might not ever watch the finished product..." Although Victoria suspected that the girl would. Mallory had a fairly high sex drive. Vicky had even, from time to time, spoken of them sharing some famous attractive female celebrity or other in bed, purely as a way to spark up telephone sex and the like. "But you're going to be subjected to seeing her in pictures, every now and then. You'll probably even see me with her, in person, if she takes my blood. But if it's going to drive you insane, knowing I'm like Deanna is to me, for someone else out there, I need to know now... Because I wouldn't want to put you through that."

Anything less would be selfish and sadistic. Two things which, by rights, Victoria should be, considering her nature. The reasons for her not being so, however, was a debate which had replayed endlessly in both their minds.

Mallory was trying to imagine what Star looked like. The name implied a delicacy that perhaps the real person did not possess; for all she knew the other woman was six feet tall and built like a karate expert. She sat up a little straighter on the couch, prying at her thoughts in an effort to sort them out.

You knew this day was coming. That was the voice of reason, which sounded like both her mother and Julia. If it was not going to be you, it was going to be someone else. That was how it worked, she thought. The redhead rubbed her forehead lightly, sitting forward some more, so that she was looking at the floor.

"I don't know," she said aloud. "I guess I quit thinking about it when you stopped mentioning it quite as often. It's going to sound stupid, but I thought you changed your mind." She let out an abashed chuckle, ruminating about her own naive belief that this subject was going to go away. "What's she like?" Inching her way towards the other thing, the thing she would really need to say.

"She's got..." Victoria looked up, narrowing eyes, as she thought in more descriptive terms. "Like, traditionally beautiful looks. Could be a model, if she ever wanted to be. Like I've said you could be," she added with a nudge. Mallory did not like wearing feminine clothes, but Vicky often said she could be a stunner, if she tried. "Blonde hair, but she could easily pull off the brunette look, too. Kind of tanned skin, a little. Thin as a rake, but not skeletal. Personality-wise, she's got a snappy kind of wit about her... Sarcastic, in a way, but we get on fine. Materialistic, loves going shopping for shoes, but then, don't we all?"

The distinction between 'traditional' beauty and 'exotic' was an important one. Mallory often said Victoria was exotic. She considered Star, however, to echo more from the days of Rita Hayworth and the like, even if she was often seen in T-shirt, jeans and the like. Would not have looked out of place in the fifties, at all. Although perhaps a bit under ten years too early, Victoria supposed that her recent trip through time made her something of an expert on that. She had even gone to see a few films at the cinema. It was weird, strange, even, to see these black and white movies and how people reacted to them. Heck, it was bizarre to even have a break in the middle of a film.

A part of her missed that. In a way, it made her identify with her grandparents' generation. What things must have been like for them. Or was that great-grandparents? Well, whatever the case, it had certainly given her a refresher course on the golden age of films. The aesthetics. She had put it to use, in making her own.

Victoria remembered 'Interview With The Vampire'. A film which she adored, but could never get into the original book of. The part where Louis' character is seen sitting through the various eras of film.

How ironic... Another gay vampire doing effectively the same thing.

"And, you know... She does the magic thing, like I said."

"Yeah." Mallory did not want this picture in her head, the picture of a woman she had never met. And she was forced to acknowledge her own hypocrisy, as she sat forward on the couch. Her chin came to rest on one hand, as she put her elbows on her knees. A thoughtful pose.

"You're going to think I'm so stupid," she said, feeling like the dimmest bulb which had ever lived. "And it'd be easy for me to say it's for her sake, because it kind of is. But I promised myself that I was going to be honest with you from now on, even when it sucks. So... It's not."

She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "I guess I haven't been facing very much reality. I know that when you feed it usually ends up being fatal. I guess I just let myself not think about it, because I fell in love with you. But now I'm thinking about seeing walking, talking evidence of your lifestyle and I don't know if I can... Deal with that."

The redhead raised her index finger, as if Victoria might interrupt her, then added, "I know how it sounds, believe me. That it's somehow better, so long as the bodies aren't where I can see them. But if I owe you anything, I owe you the truth about this. Do you see?"

Victoria had expected this, once upon a time. She had even tried to impress upon the girl what being with her would mean. Had thought, every so often, that such an opinion might be encountered and prepared herself for the inevitable philosophical confrontation.

Just not right now.

Closing eyes, the brunette made a sigh of frustration, having to pull torso away and relinquish from the embrace. Was well aware of how that gesture might seem, but it was psychologically necessary to distance herself. Now looking down at the floor, Victoria glanced back at the redhead, mulling over what to say. Every so often, it seemed the pair's bond was tested and this seemed to be one of those times.

"So... Let me get this straight. And I'm not being cruel, here, I'm just trying to make sense of this, OK? First, you tell me you want us to have an open sexual relationship... And I agree to that, because you were unwilling to let me take you to Miami or something. And I try to deal with it... But, y'know, I adapt. Then you call me here to try and get me to sign up to destroying my own kind - and that is what it'll come down to. So, I agree, 'cause I love you so damned much. And now, after me trying to compromise all these things, you now say you're having trouble dealing with my very nature? With what I am and do?"

And Mallory could not quite steel herself against the flinch, because she knew that Victoria was right. She had lied to herself, lied over and over again, because she wanted to keep this wonderful, amazing, agonisingly beautiful thing she had found. She had done it for love, the way the brunette had compromised with her, because she loved her. Maybe it was time both of them took their blinders off and looked at eachother in a different light.

"You think it hasn't been hard for me too?" She asked. "That I haven't put it aside to avoid dealing with it for all this time? That it doesn't kill me to have to explain myself to somebody like Julia, who judges, even if she doesn't think she does? I've compromised, too and I did it because I fell in love."

She pushed out a breath and got up from the couch, putting even more distance between herself and the vampire. Restless now, restless and agitated. "I'm a hypocrite," she said, holding up her hands in a helpless fashion. "And I tried to adapt, too. Because I love you, because I wanted to be with you, no matter how many times you turned me down. I guess I was stupid."

She shook her head at herself, because she had been such a romantic idiot. And it made her feel cold on the inside, to know that she could already feel Victoria drawing away from her. Her arms folded around herself in a hug. Maybe she should have let that last rejection stand.

"I'm a vampire," the brunette stated. Something perhaps strange, under any other circumstances. "I'm a vampire and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm one, because I wanted to be - and so does Star. If I kill, I also try to make it something beautiful. I'm not abducting random people off the streets and tearing their throats out."

Having voiced what was largely the same defence of her activities as she ever had, Victoria paused before continuing, wanting the redhead to recall how solemnly they had agreed to things, before.

"On the other hand, what you're having now, is an attack of morality... Even if I say 'no' to Star's request, if I deny her immortality, after saying what you just have, I think my fangs are going to start playing on your mind in another way... A bad way. You've gone in for 'Operation: Witch-Hunt' and every day you spend there, you're going to get their message drilled into your head. You're going to start getting more and more uncomfortable with the fact that I have to kill to survive. That I actually enjoy it. That I'm tainted by some literally demonic essence. That I may or may not even still retain my original soul. And as much as you want to try and make up for the deaths I cause, you're going to start realising all these promises you gave me are going to be incompatible with your new path..."

Another pause. Mallory might even deny some or much of it, but that was not the point. Victoria was saying how she saw things. How, more importantly, she felt things would now go. Things, indeed, she thought had been reconciled, but had apparently only been left for a while.

"Honey," she began, working hands into the girl's own and squeezing palms together. A heartfelt thing. "You want me to stop killing? You want me to drink from the butcher's cup? Then I'll do that... I'll do it for you, because you asked me. Because I love you, OK? I'll move in with you for good... Heck, I'll even find some dark priestess to marry us or whatever, fi that's what you want. But I've got my limits, squirrel... If I do that for you, I want you to resign from this new job. I want you to move away from Las Vegas with me. I want us to be together, properly... I want you to promise me there'll never be any others, because I won't be able to do that on my own. That's the compromise I want you to make, OK? Move away from Nevada with me... I put down my fangs and you put down your stake... We start over again, somewhere far away from here... Can you do that for me?"

Victoria meant it. She was putting a price on things, but only because she felt it was fair. She was willing to give up her predatory nature. Willing to give up a lot of things. But she wanted Mallory to give up things, too. Wanted her to do what she had said she was unwilling to, before. To move away. To start afresh. To be together.

"Can you do that for me, Mallory Quinn?"

It always came to this, somehow. Expectations, requirements, pushing and pulling, back and forth. Ultimatums. Mallory looked at her hands where Victoria held them and flashed back on the first time they had ever met. She had known that the other woman was a vampire from the start, that the separate worlds they lived in were not naturally compatible and she had jumped in with both feet, anyway. Put aside her doubts and the pangs of her conscience, because she believed in love, believed in it whole-heartedly. She had signed up for this.

But so had Victoria.

"Break up with me."

Mallory had said similar things in the past, asked to be turned loose from this, because she was in more emotional pain than she could stand, but now the words had an inevitable quality to them. Yes, this entire situation was partly her fault, but if blame was to be assigned, they needed to share it. Despite what Victoria apparently thought, she had sacrificed things. Just the fact that it was always her who kept coming back over and over, kept running to the rescue when it felt necessary, had been something she would not have done, if she had not wanted this to work.

"I love you. Present tense, despite what might be going through your mind right now. And I know that you love me. I've never questioned that, ever. If I could end this myself, say 'let's not do this anymore', we wouldn't be here now. I guess I'm weak for you." The redhead's lips turned up at one corner, a sad attempt at a smile. "But you knew I was human." No accusation in her voice, just stating facts. "That there would to be adjustments I'd have to make and I tried. Just like you tried. I'm sorry I'm not more... Something. Flexible. Understanding. Agreeable. But I was never in this alone and you know that."

Her stomach was hollow, aching, as if she had not eaten in days. And there were going to be tears soon, but there had always been tears with this woman, whether they were because she was elated or miserable.

She pulled one hand free, touched the brunette on the shoulder before bringing the same hand to her face. "You're in my heart forever. Whether I want you there or not. Will you please break up with me now?"

Victoria looked about as hurt as she felt. What a question to ask of her. To just throw everything away, when she had already promised to be there to the end, more times than she could ever possibly remember. It was ridiculous to even entertain the notion of it and yet, right here, right now, the redhead was saying it. A single note of laughter was heard, so ludicrous was the notion. Victoria bringing the back of one hand up to mouth, in an effort to try and stifle the involuntary reaction.

"You're asking me to do what?"

That she was being rhetorical, needed no further clarification. Victoria's forehead was creased with confusion and the puzzled vampiress closed eyed, turning face away. "You're not," she convinced herself. "You're not saying this... You're not saying this, because you wouldn't." Those same eyes opened and she looked back tat the girl again, jaw setting squarely. "You're not."

But she was. And Victoria knew it.

"No," she refused, rearing head back, almost with a look of distaste now. "No, you're... Don't do this, Mallory. Just... Why can't you just come away with me? What the fuck is so important about a little town in the middle of nowhere? What's so bad about you going away with me? Am I that repulsive? Or are you addicted, somehow? Do you need this? Is that it? Do you actively crave some sort of demon-vanquishing duty, that much? I don't... I don't understand, honey... What's wrong? Why can't you just come away with me? I said I won't kill... I won't! If that's what it takes, I... Please, just... Just tell me, OK? Why can't we? You're the one who made me see what we've got... Why can't we be 'us'? Away from all this? Is it money? Is that the problem? I'll pay! I mean it!"

"Victoria Foxworth," Mallory said, and her voice was pinched as she spoke. "If I wanted your money, I'd have asked for it by now. Is that what you really think of me, that I'm in love with your wallet? That I'm some hooker you can pay off and kick out?! Thank you ever so much!"

She dragged both hands through her hair, and she hadn't wanted it to come to this, but God damn it, that was uncalled for. "I never asked you for a nickel," she added, her expression tightening down right along with her voice. "Not even when I could have used it. Why would you even...pretend to say that as a serious thing?"

She'd never raised her voice with the brunette before, not really, but then Victoria had never really hurt her feelings before either. Broken her heart? Yes, absolutely, but she had never insulted her. And considering the other woman's previous tone, it felt deliberate.

"If you were trying to hurt me, congratulations."

Victoria only slowly nodded in response. It was heartfelt. It was genuine. It was raw emotion. There was only one thing missing from it and that was something far too conspicuous by its absence. That was why the brunette's response was so muted. "Way to obfuscate, Mallory," she quietly worded.

Because her one, central question had remained unanswered. The redhead had got so worked up about her offer to pay for the journey, that the crux of the matter had proven to be no less elusive than before... Why was Mallory unwilling to move? Why was she somehow unable to elope? Vicky did not really even have any real suspicions. It was just something frustratingly mysterious.

Placing hands slowly around partner's forearms, Victoria adopted a serious expression. She was being deadly serious now. Could feel her heart ache, just as she could feel the redhead's do similarly. Nevertheless, she could not afford to get wrapped up in turmoil. Not now. Later, maybe. If this truly remained some sort of... Breaking point. But she did not want it to be. Never wanted anything to be.

"Tell me... Please... I just want to know... Why don't you let me take you away from all this? Why? I just want to make things better... Why, honey?"

Maybe Victoria was right, that she needed anger to get through this, needed it enough that it was a crutch. Better to yell than to cry. She would probably be doing enough of that, later.

"'Crisis of morality', right?" Mallory asked in a calmer voice. "I could deal with it when it was only me you wanted to turn, because I knew that you would never force it. And maybe it shouldn't even matter to me, since I don't know this Star and wouldn't if she passed me on the street. Free will, right? You wanted it, maybe she wants it, too, so, why should I care? There are no words for how stupid this makes me feel."

She also laughed, a short, muted sound. "You're asking me to give up my whole life here," she said. "And I don't mean the hunting thing and I don't mean Searchlight. I could adapt, leave that and the friends I've made here behind if I really had to. But eventually..."

Mallory cut herself off, because this was the meat of it, the unpleasant, bloody truth.

"Eventually, there's going to be another Star. Maybe not soon, maybe not in the next twenty years, but eventually. Someone where things will go beyond sex and into the other. Someone who won't say no when you want to make something beautiful." She lifted her index finger, a gesture which said 'listen'. "I don't mean killing. I want you to understand that. I believe you when you tell me that you can give that up, just like I could give up everything here. But one day you're going to meet someone like Star, just the way Deanna met you."

There was a silence between them now and Mallory did not break it for a few minutes. When she spoke again, her voice was controlled.

"If it didn't mean so much to you, you would never have made the offer to her. You... You are what you are and I've always known that. Can you honestly say you wouldn't, that you don't resent it to hear me tell you now that it's too much to deal with?"

"Resent? No. That's the entire point of why I asked you about this. Disappointed that you're willing to throw everything away because of this? Yes... All I'm asking for is commitment, Mallory. I don't get why that's such a huge sacrifice."

It might have sounded like a strong-willed statement, under usual circumstances, but these were not usual circumstances. On the contrary. And perhaps that was why the stress was entering the youthful vampire's voice now, causing it to waver a little and giving her need to swallow. She was not crying, no, but it was an extremely depressing moment for her, being literally told to break up with the girl, like that.

The saddest thing about it was that, effectively, the redhead was saying that, Star or not, things were coming to a head now, regardless. Irreconcilable things - apparently.

Victoria hated that.

Looking down at her lap, the vampiress felt sapped of energy now. She was supposedly one of the damned, but this was one of those rare moments where she actually felt like it: Someone the heavens had forsaken. Maybe it was true. It would certainly suit matters now.

"There's not... There's no way I can change your mind?" She asked, glancing back up. "Nothing I can do to convince you to run away with me? No way I can fight this? You've made the decision?"

If you do this now, you will never have her again. The thought was painfully clear in Mallory's head and she steeled herself against the pain of it. But when the woman she loved was all set to out-live her by five or six lifetimes, 'commitment' was a bizarre word to use. She took one of Victoria's hands between her own and held it, noting the difference in their temperatures for what was probably the last time.

"I'm sorry," she said - and she was, sorry to the pit of her soul. "Maybe the 'me' of ten years from now would be able to say yes, but this 'me' can't. I've never loved anyone like I love you. And it might never happen again for the rest of my life. But I can't... I shouldn't make promises I might not be able to keep. I figured that much out, at least."

You will never have her again.

"I love you. Present tense. Don't you forget it."

Victoria was not sure what to say. She had never really thought of this possibility. Had feared, perhaps, having to rescue the girl, like she had been rescued, in turn, not too long ago. Had thought about some sort of physical threat. It seemed the most likely thing to have ended them. Even had some romantic notions about finding the redhead about to die from an accidental injury and having to give her eternity. Never really... This, though. Being told they could not work it out. A sentiment which, even now, she did not understand and could not accept. Yet, because Mallory said it was over, was not willing to think otherwise, it seemed she had no recourse. No avenue of complaint.

She just had to deal with it. There could be no forcing of the issue. She could not make the redhead keep with her.

And so, sad as could be, Victoria simply leaned in, sliding arms around the girl in an embrace. Her girl. Her girlfriend. Partner. Lover.

Beloved...

"You made me fall in love with you," she whispered. "And I can never stop."

The embrace tightened and the vampiress' shoulders moved in a silent shudder. Perhaps a shiver. Or maybe she actually was crying. Her eyes were watering, that was for sure. By the time she leaned back again, that much was obvious. Mouth opened and Victoria found herself unable to speak. Why were things ending like this? What had gone wrong? Why did it all seem so fucking ridiculous? Had they not made promises to one another? None of it made any sense, but this was the other girl's decision. A mind she had appealed to and, evidently, failed.

She had wanted to marry her. She really did. It was no joke. She would have done it.

Would have looked into the sun, for her Mallory Quinn.

"I..."

But before the tears could openly come, the vampiress looked down in kittenish upset and rose to feet. If things were truly over, if there were no alternatives she had not already exhausted, then she could do nothing but try to at least save her dignity. One hand clenched into a fist and was brought up to mouth, not able to speak any words and yet needing to squash fingers and thumb against it, regardless. There was too much stress. too much confusion. She could not deal with it now. Had no way to lash out. Had no way to change things.

A few seconds more and she found the will to communicate again. Needed to make her way to the door and yet turned back again, afraid to take those steps, for fear they would be her last in Mallorys' presence

"Ta... Take good... Take care of yourself, OK? I think I'd just about die if anything happened to you, squirrel!"

A bad joke, but she was feeling stupid, anyway. Silly. In the mood to get drunk. to drown her sorrows. To drown herself, if that were even possible.

Mallory was crying. Silent tears, as though she were Niobe weeping for her slain children, but what she was really crying for was her broken heart. Her arms went around Victoria's neck in kind and she held tight for as long as she could stand it.

I love you, I'm so sorry, I never wanted this.

Immortal beloved.

"You're in my heart forever. I swear it."

When Victoria got up from the couch, she let her go, hands clutching onto the over-stuffed cushions to keep them from grabbing onto Victoria again. "Stay out of the sun," she said, her voice squeezed with the effort it took to speak. "The only thing I ever wanted was for you to be safe."

Safe. They had been so safe together. She was bleeding on the inside. But there was nothing else to be done.

I love you.