Title: Hope and Faith
Fandom: Lost
Ship: Charlie/Claire, Rose
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own the characters. They belong to ABC and the writers of Lost.
A/N: Spoilers for The Greatest Hits and Through The Looking Glass. If you have not seen the last two episodes of Lost, please don't read unless you want to be spoiled.
Rating: PG
Summary: Claire waits for Charlie's return, but she's quickly losing hope. Can Rose help?
Claire returned to her tent with both arms and feet aching. Hiking across the island was hard enough. Hiking across the island with a baby in her arms was impossible. Now that she was back at camp, she was looking forward to putting Aaron down and finding Charlie. Ever since he had left on his mission, she had been haunted by this sense of…grief? Gloom? Death? She didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t good. Even Aaron felt it, judging from his frequent bouts of crying. She wouldn’t feel relaxed until Charlie returned…which he should have by now. The signal had been found, the call for rescue has been made. Charlie had obviously been successful. So where was he?
Bending to place Aaron in his crib, the light glinting off a piece of metal caught her eye. Frowning, she looked to find Charlie’s ring. It must have slipped off when he was putting Aaron down. But that was impossible. The ring never slipped off…which could only mean….
Her mind flashed back to the last time she had seen Charlie. It was right here in this tent and she had been annoyed with him for not telling her that he was going to swim down to the underwater hatch to turn off the jammer and she had been scared, remembering Charlie’s death prophecy. He had reassured her that he was going to be ok and then made her promise that she wouldn’t worry. It was the first time she had ever lied to him. Of course she was going to worry. How could she not? He was her best friend, her confidant, her…son’s favorite person in the camp. She winced as she again dodged naming what Charlie was to her. She didn’t know why she couldn’t admit it to herself. She never had this issue before. Then again, she had never been dumped by her baby’s father before, so this was bound to happen.
Then there had been the kiss that she had tried so hard not to think about. The kiss that had been so full of longing and love and…goodbye? No…no, it wasn’t a goodbye. It couldn’t have been. If Charlie was knowingly going to his death, he would tell her. Right? Then why did he leave his ring, the ring he never ever took off, with Aaron? Why had he looked so intense when he told her not to worry about him? Gah…all these questions were not helping her peace of mind at all! They just made her feel more wretched. Maybe she should go out to the shore and look for Charlie. Ask Sun to watch Aaron while she goes and waits for Charlie’s arrival. That way, her mind will be put to rest as soon as he sits foot on dry land.
“Sorry Charlie, but I can’t help it,” She sighed, heading for Sun’s tent. “I can’t stop wondering if you’re ok…”
~*~
Claire stood on the beach, staring out at the empty boat in middle of the ocean. She rubbed her shoulders against the cool breeze, still trying not to think. If she started thinking, she’d have to start admitting to some hard truths and she just couldn’t do that. Not now. Not when there was no other sign of either man except the boat.
She turned away from the boat and began walking along the shore, keeping her mind on other things, like when rescue would come. Would Charlie come to Australia with her and Aaron or would he want to go on to LA? Would Charlie stay with her? Would she stay with Charlie? How were they going to support themselves? Would Aaron be alright?
She sighed and closed her eyes, wishing that her mind would just be blank for a bit. She couldn’t handle all of this waiting, worrying, and contemplating of a future she didn’t even know she’d have. Especially if they don’t return soon…
Something in the water caught Claire’s eye. It was white and black and was bobbing in the water all alone. Frowning, she went to investigate and nearly collapsed to find hat it was Charlie’s shoe. One of his vans that he always wore. She looked out at the ocean, searching for anymore signs. His shirt…the other shoe…anything. But there was nothing else but an empty boat.
Hot tears filled her eyes as the barrier to her mind finally collapsed and all the troubling thoughts and concerns filled her. Where was Charlie? Why did his shoe wash up on the beach, but not him? Was he ok? Was he even still alive? Was Desmond with him? Of course Desmond was…but was that enough to keep Charlie alive?
She wiped at the tears and held onto the soaked shoe tightly, praying that this wasn’t a bad sign, that Charlie would come back to her so they could get rescued together.
“I always thought the boy would end up losing those shoes of his,” a warm familiar voice spoke up behind Claire. She sighed in relief to find Rose, who looked at her with a warmth and knowledge that Claire could only hope to have someday. “We talked about that plenty of time. I thought he was going to find a way to secure them better.”
“I guess he didn’t have a chance,” Claire sniffed, wiping at her eyes. She didn’t want Rose to see her tears. The woman would want to comfort her. She didn’t need nor wanted to be comforted. She just needed Charlie to come home. Alive and safe.
“Well, I’ll just have to have a talk with that boy about procrastination,” Rose sat next to Claire, looking straight ahead with a thoughtful expression. “Strange.”
“What?” Claire asked, wishing that the old woman would just get up and go back to camp. She was not in the mood for company. All she wanted to do was sit here and wait for Charlie to come back in silence. She was not interested in making conversation.
“Not too long ago…it was Charlie in your place and you were missing. Life sure has a sense of humor.”
“I don’t see what’s so humorous about it. Charlie’s not back yet. He was supposed to be back hours ago. The boat is empty and now his shoe washes up on the beach. I really don’t see the humor at all.”
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”
Claire glared at the woman. How dare Rose, whose husband was alive and safe, come here and knock down all the defenses that she had in place. How dare she force her to go anywhere near admitting that she felt anything for the former junkie? “Why would I be afraid? He’s coming back and if he doesn’t…”
“It’s ok, sweetie. It’s ok to be worried and it’s ok to be scared. Just as long as you don’t give up hope.”
Claire couldn’t stop glaring. To her, Rose’s words were nonsense. Hope? How could she have hope when Charlie was still out there…probably hurt, bleeding…or worse? There was no hope for her. Only heartache and doubt. “Listen, I appreciate you coming out here to talk to me…but I don’t think you understand. Charlie was supposed to be back hours ago. He’s not. What am I supposed to think?”
Rose just smiled, her eyes warm and teasing. “What does your heart tell you?”
Her heart. Her heart was too busy cowering away from what could be the truth. It had no time to be telling her anything. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Oh it is…you’re just not listening,” Rose knowingly smiled. “Dear, let me tell you about the day after the crash. You remember don’t you? How I was so sure that my Bernard wasn’t dead.”
Claire just nodded, not really sure what this had to do with her and Charlie. For one thing, Bernard didn’t have a death prophecy hanging over his head. He wasn’t in some underwater hatch, where he could get hurt or drown. Bernard had never been found hanging from a tree or almost taken an arrow in the throat. Bernard had never cheated death time and time again.
“At first…I did think he was dead. I mean…he hadn’t even been in his seat when we crashed. The first two hours…after Jack woke me up…I was completely void of hope. I had no faith at all,” Rose shook her head, remembering those first hours after the crash, how she had set on that beach all alone, looking out at the ocean, wondering if Bernard had been in any pain. Knowing that people were giving her a wide berth, because they hadn’t known what to say. “Finally, I had enough of trying not to think about it and just let the emotions in. All that pain…but instead of pain…I found faith. Faith that my Bernard was alive somewhere. I just had to find him.”
“So what you’re saying is…?”
“Open your heart Claire. Listen to what it has to say. Do you really believe that Charlie’s dead? Is all your hope and faith really gone?”
Claire blinked against the raising tears as she thought about the very real possibility of Charlie’s death. Her heart hurt at the thought of it. The possibility of Charlie’s death…it was inconceivable…he was the one person she trusted on this island. He was the one person that had promised never to leave her, and he hadn’t broken a promise yet. Why would he start now? No…no. He’s not dead. That would be breaking a promise and she had come to believe that it was physically impossible for Charlie to do such a thing.
“Well…what does your heart tell you?” Rose asked again, keeping a close eye on the young woman by her side. For herself, she believed that the once troubled young man was alive and on his way back to the young woman and child right now. Charlie Pace still had much to do in this world.
“He’s…he’s alive. Charlie’s alive,” Claire looked at Rose, a tear leaving her eye, her lips trembling. “But if he’s alive…where is he? Why isn’t he back yet? Why did his shoe wash up on the beach?”
“I wish I could tell you that, dear. All I can tell you is that if your heart is telling you he’s alive. Well then, he is,” Rose wrapped an arm around Claire’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Now, shall we head back to camp together, or shall we just sit here and continue to wait.”
Claire wanted to wait. She wanted to sit right here and keep an eye on the boat so she’ll know when Desmond and Charlie finally emerge from the ocean…but she knew if she did that, it’ll be like watching a clock. It was probably best to go back to camp and check on Aaron and wait. Charlie would want her to…
“I guess we can go back to camp…” She took one more look at the empty boat, willing Charlie and Desmond to appear, but nothing happened. Sighing, she got to her feet. “I hope they come back soon…I don’t think I can take anymore of this.”
“They will. They will. We just have to have faith. And pray,” Rose smiled, remembering when she had helped a certain young man to pray for the return of the girl he cared for.
Claire just nodded and allowed Rose to lead her back to the camp, not looking back to see a figure lifting another, clearly unconscious figure into the once empty boat.
~*~
Claire was just putting Aaron down for his nap when Rose approached her tent with a plate of food. Ever since the return to camp, she had been keeping an eye on the young mother, making sure that she remembered to eat and take care of herself.
“Claire. I brought you something to eat,” Rose held out the plate. “You have to keep up your strength. You’ll want to be healthy for when…”
“He’s not coming back,” Claire didn’t look up as she arranged the blankets over her baby. Her voice was void of emotion, but the hot tears in her eyes was all Rose needed to see to tell that the girl was losing hope. “He’s been gone for too long…he’s…he’s not coming back.”
“Sweetheart….” Rose wrapped a arm around Claire’s barely trembling shoulders as sobs began to come, hot tears finally flowing. She quickly led Claire to her makeshift bed and pulled her close, rocking her as if she were a child. “What happened to hope and faith?”
Claire shook her head, her sobs making it difficult to speak. She could just lean against Rose and cry over what she thought of as her loss. Charlie was gone. She was almost sure of it. He had broken his promise. He wasn’t ever coming back. She’ll never hear his voice again, or look into those eyes, or even touch him again. He was the only man that had loved both her and her baby and he was gone, leaving her and Aaron alone.
Rose took her hand and held it tightly, her own heart breaking for the young woman. No one deserved to grieve like this. No one. “We can pray. It helps and it’ll bring him home to you quicker.”
“Pray? Don’t you have to be really religious for that?” Claire sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“The Lord always listens to those in distress. Whether they’re religious or not. Come on, what can it hurt? It helped Charlie that time you were missing. It’ll help you too.”
Claire looked up at the mention of Charlie. He had prayed for her? She hadn’t known that…but Charlie was religious…in a round about way. He was the one that insisted that Aaron be baptized. Sighing, she looked at Rose. “What if I don’t have faith?”
“Well then pray with hope,” Rose smiled.
What could it hurt. She didn’t really think it would work, but she did have hope if not faith. “Ok. Fine,” She bowed her head with eyes closed.
Rose smiled and bowed her head, tightly holding Claire’s hand in her own. She closed her eyes, putting all of her faith into the words, hoping that they’d reach their destination. “Dear Lord, we come before you today because this girl is worried. She’s worried for the young man she loves. The same young man that had once approached you in prayer, praying for her safe return. Return him, Lord. Bring him back to her, just as you had brought her back to him. Aman.”
The two women opened their eyes to see people running towards Jack’s tent, curious whispers and shocked gasps coming from the crowd. Frowning, the women pushed their way through the crowd, not knowing what to expect. They certainly weren’t expecting to find Desmond trying to explain what happened in the hatch and Charlie….alive and pretty beaten up, but alive, sitting on a cot, swallowed in blankets and looking as if he was going to throw up at any minute.
Not even paying attention to who she was pushing out of the way, Claire made her way up front, her breath coming in hurried pants as she struggled to reach the entrance of Jack’s tent.
“Move! Get out of my way! Charlie!” Finally she was through and rushing to Charlie to throw her arms around his shivering frame. “Charlie, you’re alive!”
“Claire!” Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her lightly, so she wouldn’t get wet.
“I thought…I thought that…” Claire wasn’t able to finish. She could only cling to him, grateful that he was not dead after all. He was safe in her arms, wet, but warm and breathing.
“It’s alright. I’m fine…Desmond saved me. I’m fine,” Charlie reassured her, before being taken by surprise when soft lips pressed against his own and she pulled closer to him.
“I love you,” She whispered, pulling away to look at his bruised face. “I’m in love with you, Charlie Pace…please don’t do anything like this again.”
Touched, he gently stroked her hair. He had loved her for so long and had been sure that the feelings would never be fully returned. He hadn’t minded. It was a pleasure to love so unconditionally for once and to do things for her. He had never expected her to feel the same. This was more than he had ever hoped for and it made the terrible time down there in the looking glass all the more worth it. “I love you too, Claire. I always have.”
She smiled but quickly frowned as she took in his face, which was marred with cuts and bruises. “Charlie…what happened? Where did all of this come from?” She gently touched a bruise, her frown deepening when he winced.
“Just a bit of torture from two women that were down there, but it’s over now. They’re dead and I’m here with you and our friends,” Charlie reassured her, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I’m alright Claire. Right now, I have to help Desmond tell Jack something…” He moved to get up but ended up pushed back onto the cot.
“Oh no you don’t Mister. You’re not going anywhere, but to my tent, where you will get a good night’s sleep.”
“Claire, you don’t understand…I have to tell Jack that the rescue boat isn’t Penny…Naomi wasn’t who she said she was…”
“I have it brotha,” Desmond interrupted Charlie’s protest, his smile warm and affectionate. It was obvious that the two men now shared a strong friendship, thanks to the ordeal they’ve experienced together. “You go with the girl and get a well deserved rest. You’ve earned it. I’ll tell Jack everything.”
Charlie looked as if he was about to protest some more, but then decided against it. Fighting both Desmond and Claire would be useless and would keep Desmond from giving Jack the news. “Alright. But if Jack needs to ask me anything…”
“I’ll send him right over. Now go with the girl. She looks like she hasn’t seen you in years and will explode if she doesn’t get you alone soon,” Desmond chuckled, waving the couple away.
Charlie just smiled and watched Desmond approach Jack as Claire helped him to his feet. Horror filled him as he stumbled and it looked like he was going to lose his footing when a warm hand grabbed his arm and held him up. He smiled gratefully at Bernard. “Thanks mate…”
“Now don’t be taking anymore dangerous missions, young man,” Rose teasingly scalded, standing next to her husband, a fond smile on her lips. “You had Claire here worried. Luckily for you both, the Lord came through.”
Charlie just smiled and nodded, remembering the time Rose taught him about faith and how it could help in the hardest of times and assist in the hardest decisions. If it hadn’t been for his faith in Desmond’s visions, they wouldn’t know all that they knew now. Rescue for Claire and Aaron would be impossible. “Yes ma’am.”
Claire touched Rose’s arms, her eyes shining with gratitude. The woman had taught her so much about hope and how as long as hope existed all wasn’t lost. She had hoped for Charlie’s return, had even prayed over it, and here he was. Safe and in love with her, just as she was in love with him. Her hope had seen her through this hard time and it was all thanks to Rose.
With their arms wrapped around each other, Charlie and Claire headed back to her tent, leaving Desmond to fill Jack in on what they had found out in the hatch and Rose to Bernard, so they could spend as much time as possible with each other before what Claire thought to be rescue arrived.
Charlie knew that the danger wasn’t over yet. They still had to worry about the people on Naomi’s boat, but for now he was alive and Claire loved him. That was all that mattered.
For Claire, all she wanted was to spend as much time with Charlie as possible. Who knows when they’d be separated again and this time she was going to make each and every minute with him count. She had total faith that no matter what, they’ll be together and if they ever did get separated again, she knew that her hope would be what would bring them back together.
Finis
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