3 Draco yawned and stretched. It had been another boring day, stuck in the house with Snape. He woke up, expecting to spend the day, perhaps helping with the potion he was required to ingest daily, thanks to his condition, but instead Snape had banished him to any room that didn’t have him in it. So Draco had wondered about, looking at different items and trying to come up with something to entertain himself. Yet there had been nothing. Nothing but memories anyway. He couldn’t believe how fucked up his life was at the moment. He was a Hogwarts drop out, on the run from both the light and the dark side and on the bad side of two of the most powerful wizards ever. It was a mess. Yet, none of those things were the biggest, most troublesome mistake of his young life. No, that honor belonged to his current predicament. He winced at the pressure he felt inside his stomach and placed a calming hand on the slight bump that was barely noticeable. His biggest mistake. Falling in love with Harry Potter…
Draco paced the floor, his mind racing with different possible outcomes to what he was to tell Harry tonight. It had been three weeks since their secret meetings had begun, all started by Potter’s lame apology. Draco couldn’t explain why, but the fact that Potter felt bad for what he had done touched something within him…something that he had thought he was over since last summer. There had been the talk by the lake and the kiss…
Draco closed his eyes, remembering that kiss. It had been something he hadn’t expected to do. Ever. After all, he was a death eater now. He had a job to do, and he couldn’t let fuzzy feelings for Potter get in the way. Yet, he had initiated everything, despite what he knew couldn’t be. He had met Harry in the room of requirement. They had talked and argued, and then Draco had kissed him, cutting off any further arguments and protests and Harry…he had responded. He had wrapped his arms around Draco and pressed those pleasantly warm lips against his own. Ever since then, the boys had met in secret and kissed and talked. Draco had found out more about Harry then he had ever thought possible and he had opened up to Harry as well, telling him about life growing up as a Pureblood Malfoy and the pressure of the expectations that came along with that status.
It couldn’t happen. He knew that. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that Voldemort would see him dead if he kept on with this thing with Potter…Harry. But he couldn’t help it. He had wanted Harry for so long, and now he was within his grasp. There was no way he could have turned that down. Not even if he wanted to. Now here he was…three weeks later, having to do the hardest thing he would have to do. Ever. He was going to have to let Harry go. Merlin, he didn’t want to. He wanted to just forget about his responsibilities, take Harry and just leave all this war foolishness behind. But he couldn’t. He had responsibilities and so did Harry. He had to complete his mission…a mission that will end in Harry’s hatred. It was best that he end it now…before putting off the inevitable.
“Draco?” Harry entered their familiar meeting place, his green eyes taking in the room that was decked out as some sort of love nest, much to Draco’s dismay. He was hoping the room would be cold and indifferent in design…somewhere suitable for a break up, but obviously the room had other ideas.
“I’m here, Harry,” He turned from the window he was staring out of and faced his soon to be enemy.
‘’There you are. I know you said to meet you, but I wasn‘t quite sure if you wanted to meet here or not,” Harry smiled brightly, walking to Draco, wrapping his arms around the blond, who fought against the urge to relax into the embrace. He quickly pulled away before he could give in, avoiding the curious green gaze.
“Yes…we need to talk. About us…”
Harry frowned, probably not knowing what to think. He had tried to bring up that subject of their relationship, just to be cut off with snide remarks and sweet kisses. Declarations that there was nothing to talk about. But now, here Draco was, wanting to talk about the one subject he’s been avoiding.
“I thought it didn’t matter…”
“That was when I was hoping it wouldn’t…but it does. It matters way too much,” Draco closed his eyes, once again wishing that this didn’t have to happen. Wishing that he could be anyone but who he was. Someone who could be with Harry and not have to worry about the wrath of the Dark Lord or going against family honor. Someone that Harry could be proud of…not a death eater in training…someone that Harry would most likely have to kill in the not so far off future.
Harry frowned, looking at his boyfriend? Lover? Fuck buddy?, wondering what he was playing at. After all, it had been Draco that initiated this relationship, who knew what he was doing more then Harry ever had. “Ok. So let’s talk. Why did you call me here, for starters.”
Draco squeezed his eyes shut, keeping his back to Harry. He couldn’t do this while looking at him. He didn’t want to see the look in those green eyes when he threw away everything they could have had, but never would. “We can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
Oh for Merlin’s sake! For someone who was supposed to save the wizarding world from Voldemort, Harry was being rather thick. Was he going to have to spell it out for him? “We can’t see each other anymore, Potter. I have responsibilities and expectations and none of the them have to do with you, so I’m ending this. Believe me, you’ll probably be thanking me for it later.”
Silence fell over the room. The loudest silence of Draco’s life. It unnerved him. It made him want to stomp, yell, talk…anything. Just as long as this bloody silence stopped. What was going through Potter’s mind anyway? Draco had thought he’d be very agreeable with this. Now he wouldn’t have to wonder about Weasley and the mudblood finding out. He didn’t have to worry about tarnishing that heroic image of his by having his followers find out that he was shagging not only a male, but the son of a death eater.
“You want to end this?” Harry’s voice held a tinge of hurt and anger, but was void of anything resembling relief, which surprised Draco. He had thought that Harry would be glad to be rid of him. Finally free of the blond serpent that had entangled him somehow, but instead…well… the emotion in Harry’s voice was unexpected.
“I have no choice. Admit it, Potter. It would never have worked out anyway. I’m a pure blood, you’re a half blood. I’m Slytherin, you’re Gryffindor. You’re the light side and I’m the dark…”
“You can be light too…”
Merlin Harry…”No. I can’t. Even if I wanted to be.”
“Draco…”
“Don’t…Potter…don’t. It’s Malfoy for now on…like it should be and we’re no longer lovers…we can’t be. It’s….it’s over.”
“Why? Just because you say so?” Harry sneered, pure anger in his voice. Anger was definitely something Draco hadn’t been expecting from him. He had thought that Harry would be so full of relief. No more sneaking around. No more lying to his friends…this anger…it was something Draco hadn’t given any thought to being possible.
“Yes because I say so. I don’t have time for this.”
“Well make time, because I’m having a hard time understanding why you want to throw this away…not after acting like you wanted it.”
“I did…”
“What’s changed?”
“Does it matter? Think about it Harry. Does it really matter? It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. We’re too different. Our beliefs go completely against one another…”
“We could have made it work! Bloody hell, you don’t even want to be a death eater! I got that from the moment I saw you crying in Myrtle’s restroom!”
“But my family and friends and not to mention the Dark Lord himself expect it of me! I have no choice here and now…well…my attention needs to be with the Dark Lord now. There’s just no more time for you. At least I’m here making it a clean break…”
“A clean break? Is that what you call this? A clean break after making me fa…care about you?! There’s no such thing…”
“Harry…Potter…don’t make this any harder then it already is,” Draco pleaded, not knowing how else to proceed. He didn’t want to hurt Harry. He didn’t want to do this at all, but it couldn’t be helped. It was either stay with Harry, defy the Dark Lord and die…or turn his back on Harry, complete his mission, have Harry hate him forever…and live. Well…he wanted to live. It was just a shame he couldn’t do that and keep Harry as well. “Just…give it up…Potter. We weren‘t meant for this. We never were.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no,” Harry’s voice was full of dark determination as he descended upon Draco, his green eyes flashing with repressed anger and hurt. “I will not give it up. Not with that weak explanation. Not after what I just went through to get Hermione and Ron to accept…”
“What? You told the mudblood and the weasel?!” Draco looked at Harry in disbelief. He hadn’t been expecting that. He hadn’t even bothered to bring up the subject of telling Harry’s friends about them…yet here Harry was, telling him that he had done just that and had taken hell for it. Fuck…this wasn’t getting any easier at all.
“Of course I did. They’re my friends and were getting suspicious on where I disappeared off to…”
“Well that’s not my problem,” Draco sneered, forcing his surprise to the back of his mind and forcing the Malfoy veneer back to the surface. He had to be cold and unfeeling if this was to work. He hated to do it like this, but Har…Potter was giving him no other choice. “I didn’t tell you to blab to your friends. There was a reason for that . It’s your own fault.”
“Draco…”
“It’s Malfoy to you, Potter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet Professor Snape down in the dungeons. Good-bye.”
Before Draco could even step away, Harry did something that Draco had thought he’d never do…not like this. He tightly grasped Draco’s arms and brought their lips crushing onto each other…
Draco knew that he should pull away. He should kick and bite, anything to make Harry leave and never come back, but instead, his traitorous body hardened and he melded into Harry, enjoying the taste of those lips roughly moving against his, making him breathless and incoherent, his breathing and heart rate heightened as Harry pushed him up against a wall and pressed his own body into Draco’s. It was sensory overload and Draco had no choice but to go along with it.
“Harry,” He finally managed to come up for air, panting and clinging on to Harry like he was on a sinking ship and Harry was the life jacket. “We can’t…I can’t…I…oh fuck it,” He smashed his mouth back up against Harry’s entwining his fingers into Harry’s hair as Harry’s own fingers slipped undid Draco’s robe and slid it off his shoulders, before crushing their bodies together once again.
Draco’s nimble fingers made short work of slipping Harry’s own robes off his shoulders as his tongue luxuriously explored Harry’s mouth, getting lost in the sensations that flowed through him as Harry’s own tongue returned the favor.
Draco didn’t even notice as his own clothes disappeared and he was on his back with a equally nude Harry over him, looking down at him with a passionate gaze that spoke of so much. Anger, hurt, love…all of it directed at him. And when Harry entered him…when he filled him to the hilt and owned him…Draco knew that there would be no other…not now…not ever. As their bodies moved together, he knew that Harry was where he belonged.
Once it was all over, laying in a heap, limbs entangled together, pants of hot tired breathe heating their cooling skin, Draco came back to his senses. This shouldn’t have happened. He shouldn’t have given in so easily…but he had and now everything was going to be so much harder. How can he walk away from Harry now?
“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked, his arm pulling Draco’s tired body against his chest, a hand lightly stroking the blonde’s taunt abdomen.
Draco felt like crying. This was so fucking unfair. He should be able to just lay there in Harry’s arms and enjoy the postciotal bliss of their love making…but instead he was contemplating ways to get out of this sticky situation.
“Does it matter?” Draco pulled away, disentangling his limbs from Harry’s, eyeing the floor for his discarded clothes. “It’s still over.” He didn’t look at Harry. He didn’t want to see the hurt in those green eyes…or the pain in that face…he just wanted to leave and finish his mission. Do what he needed to do in order to save what was left of his family.
“No…”
“Yes. I’m sorry Potter. But it has to be this way,” He found his clothes and was pulling them on. “My master has plans for me and I can’t…I won’t let some little infatuation get in the way. It’s been fun…but…I” He closed his eyes, wishing that he could push away the pain that the necessary words would cause both himself and Harry. But there wasn’t anything he could do. His life belonged to the Dark Lord, Harry’s enemy. To go against that now… “It’s time for me to end this dalliance and return to my mission. To my place…and you to return to yours.”
“Draco…” Harry’s voice was on the brink of tears and Draco would have liked to turn around and kiss those tears away…promise to be Harry’s forever…but he couldn’t. He came from a different world than Harry…had different values…and no matter how much he’d like to pretend that there was, he really knew that there was no way to change it.
“Good bye, Potter. Speak of this to no one,” Was all Draco said before leaving the room, enclosed in the cool steal of armor he closed around his heart, wishing that he had never found out what it was like to love and be loved in return.
Things had gone to hell after that. After a week of avoiding Harry, Draco had put the plan in motion and it had all gone horribly right and horribly wrong all at the same time. Draco had let the death eaters into the school. He had betrayed the trust of his fellow students…but no. That wasn’t the worse of it…the worse of it was holding that wand on Dumbledore, just to find that he couldn’t do it and having Severus Snape rescue him. He shuddered as he remembered that night…fleeing not only Hogwarts, but a vengeful Harry as well and then learning that it had all been a trap…an intricate plan by the Dark Lord to have an excuse to kill Draco as punishment against his father for failing him. He had betrayed the one boy he had loved for nothing! That had been the blow that had nearly killed Draco…but that wasn’t the worse of it. The worse of it was finding out weeks later that he was carrying the child of Harry Potter…making his life even more forfeit. If the Dark Lord knew, both Draco and the child would surely die. Not because of any sense of betrayal…but because Draco was carrying the heir of The Boy That Lived. That in itself was unforgivable.
He shivered as he remembered Severus’s harsh words when he had found out.
“Insolent boy! What made you do such a thing? You’re lucky not to have gone before the Dark Lord immediately after we had fled. If he finds out, his hunt for you would be more intense. Of all people, why did you have to sleep with Potter?!”
Yeah? Why? Why did he do such an idiotic thing as to fall in love with the Dark Lord’s greatest enemy…the very boy that was responsible for his predicament in the first place? Let’s face it, if it hadn’t been for Potter sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, his father wouldn’t be in Azkaban. The Dark Lord wouldn’t want him dead…and Draco certainly would not be on the run while carrying Potter’s spawn!
Closing his eyes, Draco leaned back and for the thousandth time, wished that he had never heard the name Harry Potter.