spikessweetgirl (spikessweetgirl) wrote in fieldsofgold, @ 2009-01-07 11:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | will you stay harry/draco |
Will You Stay Chapter 1
1
Harry stood outside the small house, wand at the ready. It’s been six months since Dumbledore’s murder and the closing of Hogwarts and he had yet to find the people he held completely responsible. Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy. He had plans for those two. He was going to make them pay dearly for what they had done. He was going to kill Snape, and as for Malfoy…well he didn’t exactly know what he was going to do about him, but he was determined to come up with something.
A familiar ache clinched Harry’s stomach at the thought of his former lover. Sixth year had been a year for secret lovers and failed relationships. It had all started the week after Harry had hexed Malfoy in Myrtle’s restroom…
Harry stood under his invisibility cloak outside the infirmary, having yet another argument with himself. He shouldn’t even be there, not after using that hex on Malfoy like he had, landing the Slytherin in the infirmary for over a week. He shuddered as he remembered all the blood that had flowed so freely from the slash marks the spell had caused. He hadn’t meant to do it. Merlin, he hadn’t even known what that spell had been for except that it had been for use against one’s enemies. To use it right after catching Malfoy in a vulnerable moment…
“But he was going to hex you first. You were just protecting yourself,” Harry’s inner voice argued. “Besides, how did you know what it would do?”
“I knew enough. I knew that it would hurt him. I was wrong for doing what I did,” Harry argued back, determined to hang onto his guilt. There was going to be no absolution for him from this. He had committed a horrible wrong against a classmate, even if it was against the pureblood prince, Draco Malfoy. There was no moving on until he had Malfoy’s forgiveness, something that he was sure wouldn’t happen. Not with all the bad blood between Malfoy and himself.
Taking one last deep breath, Harry entered the infirmary.
The room was bright and colorless with the smell of healing potions and the soft breathing of students that had been injured earlier that week. Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit funny being in the infirmary at this time of night and not be a patient himself. It was sort of surreal really.
He kept the cloak closed tightly around his shoulders as he walked down the line of beds. It wouldn’t do for anyone to find him there with Malfoy. Everyone would think that he was there to finish the job, which was not the impression that he wanted to give. He was just there to apologize. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Finding Malfoy at last, Harry was relieved to find him not only awake, but healed. This sill wasn’t going to be easy, but it helped to see that the other boy wasn’t scared and if the scrawl Malfoy was wearing was any proof to go by, he was back to normal as well. Taking another deep breath, Harry dropped the cloak to the floor, revealing his presence.
“Malfoy.”
Draco’s frown deepened as he took in Harry’s appearance. Different emotions drifted through his expression. Fear, anger, curiosity, and finally cold indifference.
“Potter. Here to finish the job, are you? Well it took you long enough. You should have come last week. My condition was still fragile and it could have looked like I had passed from my serious condition. Now it’ll just look suspicious.”
Harry couldn’t help but to roll his eyes. Even in the hospital, Malfoy was a git. Why was he expecting something all together different? “I came to apologize, Malfoy.”
Draco blinked a few times, unable to contain his surprise. “Come again“I came to apologize for what I had done to you. I hadn’t meant…I didn’t know what the spell would do to you, ok. I’m sorry.”
Draco looked at Harry with wide silver eyes. No words came to either boy as they stared at one another. One was too full of guilt and self blame to say anything and the other one was full of shock. Finally Draco broke the uncomfortable silence.
“I can’t believe it. The great, righteous, Gryffindor apologizing to a lowly Slytherin. Who would have thought it possible?”
Harry shrugged, looking everywhere but at Draco. Apologizing to the one person he had hated most in all of his history at Hogwarts was not his idea of fun and the fact that Malfoy wasn’t going to make it any easier was infuriating. It took all of his self-restraint not to hex the blond again.
“Don’t get used to it, Malfoy. I was wrong. I’m admitting it. Believe me, I’m not going to make a habit of it.”
“Pity,” Draco shrugged. I would probably be the first Slytherin that would witness the mighty Harry Potter admit to being wrong.”
“Whatever. I’ve done what I came to do and it’s obvious that you’re not going to accept the apology. So I’ll just go and you can continue being the insufferable prat that you are. Good-bye Malfoy,” Harry turned to leave, struggling hard not to reveal his disappointment. He had hoped that for once Draco Malfoy would act like a human being. Obviously that had been too much to hope for. Draco would never change. Not even after he’s been hexed nearly to death.
“Potter!” Malfoy called out, stopping Harry from taking another step. “Apology accepted. Now will you come back and stay for a bit? I have a few questions of my own.”
Harry blinked and turned to face Draco. He was beyond surprised at the moment. He hadn’t expected the forgiveness and Draco wanting to question him was beyond suspicious. “What?”
“Must I always repeat myself with you, Potter? Sit. I want to talk,” Draco sneered, his voice on the edge of exasperation. “I promise that I don’t bite.”
Still hesitant, Harry took a seat at the foot of the bed, as far away from Draco as he could get. He still had no clue why Draco wanted to talk to him or if he should even listen, but he had nothing else to do. Besides, he was curious.
Silence fell between the two boys. It wasn’t necessarily easy, but it wasn’t especially uncomfortable either. The tension was still there and the mutual distrust, but the threat of violence and anger were gone. It was Draco that broke the silence.
“We’ve been enemies for well over five years now, Potter. What I could never figure out was why. I mean…we got on well at Madame Malkin’s before the beginning of first year…”
“Is that what you think?” Harry looked at Draco, his expression one of complete shock. He had always thought that Draco knew the reason why they were enemies. He was a bigoted, arrogant, bully and had put Harry and his friends through torture for the past five years! Of course they were enemies!
“Of course. You were a bit silent, but you never gave the indication that I appalled you.”
“You were offensive from the very beginning Malfoy! All the things you said about Muggleborn Wizards and Muggles…alright, I didn’t even know much about any of that before first year, but still…and then the way you treated Ron before the welcoming feast that year. You just got worse and worse throughout the years. Do you really have to wonder why we’re not friends? You’ve been a bigoted prat from the moment I met you and have yet to show me any redeeming quality of your character…well, besides the fact that you were crying in the girl’s restroom. Why were you crying anyway? I thought that you’d be jumping for joy to be doing something in Voldemort’s service,” Harry crossed his arms, rolling his eyes when Draco flinched at Voldemort’s name. “For goodness sake. You’re as bad as everyone else. It’s just a bloody name.”
“It’s more than a name, Potter. It’s power. Dark power. The Dark Lord could kill you where you sit and you wouldn’t be any the wiser until it was too late.”
“He’s already tried. He couldn’t kill me when I was a baby. What makes you think that he can kill me now?” Harry winced at how arrogant he sounded, but he was curious about why the deatheaters, why Draco felt the need to follow someone they were frightened of and why they were all so confident that their Dark Lord would win.
“He’s stronger now. Besides, he explained it all to us last summer. You two have the same blood now, making your mother’s spell null and void. You’re as vulnerable to him now as the rest of us. I follow him because…because it’s what’s expected of me. My father followed him, my mother followed him, and now I do as well.”
“Quite the family business you have going there, Malfoy. Really.”
“It’s not a family business, Potter. It’s something that goes beyond tradition. It’s blood. The duty to follow the Dark Lord is in my blood, passed down to me from my father. It’s not a choice. It’s a responsibility that is supposed to be upheld to the highest of my ability. The same for when I have a child. Service to him is in our makeup.”
“What a bunch of bollocks!” Harry shook his head, unable to believe that the Malfoys were bound to Voldemort by blood. To follow him was a choice. Plain and simple. It wasn’t like there was a prophecy stating that the Malfoy family were to be the Dark Lord’s servants for all eternity. “To follow Voldemort is a choice. You don’t have to follow in your father’s footsteps, Draco. You have your own mind.”
Draco sneered, his gray eyes flashing with anger. “I don’t expect you to understand. You were raised by Muggles and you’re expected to save all of us from the darkness. Tell me Potter, can you just walk away? Turn your back on being the savior of the Wizarding world?”
“That’s different…”
“No it’s not. I don’t have a choice. I have to follow him. Whether I want to or not. There’s no other way.”
“Is that why you were crying?” Harry went back to the original question. What had been so bad to move Draco Malfoy to tears?
“That is none of your business, Potter. Besides, I can’t tell you. We might as well drop the subject now and move on,” Draco sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, avoiding all eye contact.
“Draco…I can help if you like. We can go to Dumbledore and explain…”
“I said drop it. Look, I know that you think you’re helping, trying to get me to talk to Dumbledore, but it won’t help. Nothing can. I have a duty to the Dark Lord and there’s no choice but to carry it out. So with all due disrespect, Potter. But out. For both of our sakes. Now if you’ll pardon me, I need more sleep. You know the way out,” Draco closed his eyes as he snuggled down under the blankets turning his back to Harry.
“Draco…please. We can help. I know you may think he’s all knowing but…” Harry words flowed to a stop as Draco refused to turn back to him. That was it and he knew it. Draco did not want to hear anything Harry had to say. The conversation was over.
Feeling both pity and disappointment, Harry got to his feet. It was time to return to his dorm. He had gotten what he came for after all. He just wished that he had accomplished more than that. Like a confession from Draco that he didn’t want to be a Deatheater, and needed help. But that hadn’t happened, but he was determined to see that it did.
But it hadn’t. Draco never did change sides. The truce…the time spent together…it had all meant nothing to Draco Malfoy. It had probably all been a game, lulling Harry and the rest of Hogwarts into a sense of complacency until it was to late. Harry shook his head, not wanting to think, but he couldn’t help it. Closing his eyes, he remembered the talk they had the day Draco had finally caught the snitch…