spikessweetgirl (spikessweetgirl) wrote in fieldsofgold, @ 2009-01-07 11:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | through the years dom/lijah |
Through The Years Chapter 7
Elijah sipped at his tea. The holidays were over at fucking last. Christmas and New Years had passed uneventfully. He just wished that he could have said the same for his birthday. Tomorrow was the big day and he had made it more than clear that he did not want a party or to go out. All he wanted to do was curl up somewhere and be alone with his thoughts and memories of happier birthdays. Birthdays when Dom was alive and well. Birthdays that Dom had always made special somehow to make up for his first birthday they had spent together.
Elijah sat down his tea and picked up a magazine, hoping to find something of interest to read to take his mind off this endless task of sifting through the memories he and Dom had shared. There was still no sign of that picture and Elijah was growing impatient, as was Matthew. Really, Elijah didn’t know how much longer he could keep any of this up. He might just have to let Matthew come and search for the fucking thing himself.
He squeezed his eyes shut at that thought, not able to stand the thought of someone else pawing through the memories that he and Dom had shared. They were all precious and special to him and to have them defiled, just because he was too weak…well it was just not an option. He couldn’t be weak. Not now. He had to be strong. For Dom’s sake if no one else’s. He had to find that picture and soon…before Matthew insisted on finding it himself and there was no other choice but to let him.
Elijah got to his feet, ready to head for the attic when the phone rang, disturbing the heavy silence that he had grown so accustomed to. He stood there in silence, not wanting to pick up the phone. It could be another bill collector for all he knew. Instead, the voice that spoke was Viggo’s, the one man that Elijah considered to be his surrogate father. Fuck, there was no telling how happy Elijah was that it was him on the other line.
“Hey Doodle,” Viggo greeted, his voice cheerful, yet had a tinge of sadness. “Just called to make sure that you had survived another holiday gathering.”
“It was fucking awful of course,” Elijah sighed, collapsing into a chair. “Everyone with their significant other…them all asking me questions and saying how sorry they were…I should never have gone. It was a bad idea.”
“I don’t think so. If nothing else, you showed them that you were still among us. That you’re strong and can make your way through the pain of losing the love of your life. That you’re a strong, determined man. Dom would be proud…”
“Well Dom wasn’t there, now was he Vig? He’ll never be there again. He’s dead,” Elijah almost snapped his voice harsher than he had meant it to be. He shouldn’t do that. He shouldn’t get pissed at Viggo. It wasn’t his fault. He sighed and lit clove, needing the exotic taste to calm his frazzled nerves. “I’m sorry Vig. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. It’s just…fuck…going through the things in the attic…on top of the party…”
“It’s alright Lij. I understand. You miss him…but you’re not alone, alright. We all miss him. We just want to make sure that you’re alright. In fact…well…there’s going to be a reunion of the fellowship soon and…”
“What?”
“A reunion. We want to make sure that you come…” Viggo’s voice was low and a bit apologetic. Somehow the man knew what was rising up in Elijah.
The younger man closed his eyes, pushing down the rage and hurt that was pouring into his chest, almost making it impossible to breathe. “A reunion?”
“Pete and Fran’s idea…and…”
“A fucking reunion?! Dom wanted to do a reunion before it had gotten too bad, but you all were too fucking busy!”
“Elijah…”
“You and Orli and your fucking movies! Sean B and Sean A. too all had something better to do! The only ones up for it were Billy and Andy! The rest of you didn’t give a shit to even try!”
“Elijah calm down…”
“No! Because Dom wanted us all to get together before he…before he was gone and you all blew him off, now two years later, you have the fucking gall to ask me to join your fucking reunion! Well guess what Viggo! I’m busy! I’m not going to be there without Dom! Fuck! There shouldn’t even be one without him!”
Hot tears fell from Elijah’s eyes, his pale fist curled into a tight fist. If he could, he would have reached through the phone and throttled Viggo. “You’ll have to do without Frodo and Merry!”
“Elijah, you’re blowing this out of proportion. At the time Dom wanted to do it, we all were stuck in obligations we had to fulfill…we couldn’t just drop everything…believe me. We wanted to, but we couldn’t…and this reunion is to honor Dom as well as the fellowship as a whole…”
Elijah laughed derisively, his anger refusing to make sense of Viggo’s words. It all seemed like rubbish to him. Excuses to get them all off the hook. “Fellowship? What fellowship? The fellowship died long before Dom did. Fuck off Viggo and don’t bother calling back”
With that said, he hung up, burying his head in his hands as hot sobs overcame him. He couldn’t believe this. He just couldn’t. After all this time, they were all going to meet…something Dom had wanted them to do, but no one had made the time. Now he was gone and they were going to meet and talk on old times. Dom would have loved that…it was a dream come true for him. But now it was all worthless, because Dom couldn’t enjoy their long awaited reunion. He couldn’t sit at Pete’s table in
The worse part was…he knew that Dom would have wanted him to go in his stead. Dom would have wanted Elijah to sit amongst them and remember happier times in
Speaking of the attic, it was time to go back up and search some more for that picture. His anger and grief still with him, Elijah got to his feet and went up to the attic, trying not to think anymore, but failing. He knelt before the pile of memoirs, running a hand over a closed box.
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Dom…I…” A strangled sob cut off his words as he leaned against the box, letting his tears take over. The anger of the coming reunion had taken a lot out of him. He wiped at his tears and tore the box open, to find a stack of magazines. He picked up the first magazine and sniffed. It was the photo shoot with Ian, himself, Sean, Billy, and Dom…all in full costume. He remembered that photo shoot well….
January 2000
Elijah smiled and blinked rapidly as the camera flashed again. This was the fist photo shoot with Gandalf and the hobbits for Vanity Fair and he had to admit to being a bit nervous. For one, he didn’t know Ian all that well, but from Dom and Billy’s reactions, he knew that he was a well respected actor and playing opposite him as Frodo was a bit intimidating. Then there was Dom. He was afraid that the camera may catch an affection gaze from Frodo to Merry if he didn’t keep his eyes glued in front of him. He was also afraid the camera would capture him blushing when he heard Dom’s accented voice talking to Billy. This was something that he just couldn’t help. Dom’s voice was one of his great turn ons. If only Dom would just shut up…
“How about we take a break,” the photographer grinned, stepping away from the camera. “We have a lot more photos to take and we’ll end up grumpy if we don’t eat soon. At least I will.”
Everyone laughed, even Elijah, who was yet again distracted by Dom’s laughter, not having to look to know that his entire face was lit up in amusement. When Dom laughed, he laughed with his entire body. It was another thing he loved about the handsome Brit.
“See you guys in another hour,” The photographer waved, heading for the food table.
“Well, my boys, that was an experience,” Ian chuckled. “I do hope they like Gandalf…that he fits the image of the books.”
“Gandalf is perfect, mate. You’re just how I pictured him when I read the books,” Dom reassured the older actor.
“Dear Dominic always knows what to say,” Ian chuckled.
Yes, Dom did always have the right words, no matter the occasion. Just another thing for Elijah to admire. Right now, he wanted to go somewhere to think. Ever since they had returned from Christmas break, Dom had not said anything about their relationship. Not that Elijah had brought it up either, but from all actions, it seemed that Dom just wanted to go back to being good friends. Elijah needed to get by himself and think on whether he could do that. He had thought of nothing but Dom all throughout the break, wondering what he was doing. Wondering if he was thinking of him too. He had expected deep kisses and hugs that spoke volumes when they reunited. Instead, Dom had ran off with Billy and had largely avoided being alone with him. If Dom really did want to be just friends, Elijah wished that they hadn’t started anything at all.
Sighing, he walked to his trailer, wanting to get away from everyone for an hour. He just needed time to sort this thing with Dom out. He didn’t know what to make out of anything at the moment. He just knew that he wanted to be with Dom more than anything and if Dom decided that he didn’t want to be with him…it’ll be a lot harder to work with him.
A small knock on the door disrupted Elijah’s thoughts, bringing him back to the world. Who the fuck could this be now? It wasn’t time to go back for the photo shoot and everyone was at the food tent. Who would come here and why?
“Lijah? Are you in there?”
Fuck. Dom, the last person he wanted to see. The first person he should. Damn it, he couldn’t deal with this right now, but there was no choice. No getting out of it. Sighing, he went to the door, preparing himself for bad news.
“Hey,” Dom greeted once the door was opened. He stood on the other side, shifting from one foot to the other, looking as nervous as ever. Elijah guessed that he had reason to be. It mustn’t be easy to call off a love affair. Elijah wondered who had gotten to Dom. Was it fucking New Line? Was it Sean, who had been making his displeasure about this new develop between Dom and Elijah known? Was it Dom’s family, since he started acting so strangely when he returned from
“Hey,” Elijah tried to smile, not giving a clue to his inner thoughts. He wasn’t going to make this easy for Dom. That was for sure. He stood to the side, eyeing the older boy curiously. “Come in.”
Dom did as instructed, taking a look around the trailer. “Nice. You’ve made this place even more comfy than I remember…”
“I figured it should be made more suitable for entertaining guests,” Elijah shrugged, walking over to the far corner of the room, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “So…is there anything specific you wanted to talk about?”
Dom looked at his feet, silent for a few more minutes, making Elijah even more certain that this was going to be a break up, but when he spoke, all thought of breaking up flew out of Elijah’s mind. “Look, I know I haven’t been as attentive towards you, and I’m sorry. You deserve better than that.”
Elijah looked at Dom, just noticing that Dom held some kind of small gift wrapped box in his hand. He frowned. What was this all about? You don’t give gifts to ex-boyfriends…
“I guess you’d want to know what I’ve been doing with all that time. Why I was so busy doing things that took my attention away from you.”
“Yeah. The thought had crossed my mind once or twice,” Elijah shrugged, turning away so Dom couldn’t see his face. He didn’t want Dom to see how much he was hurt.
“I wish I had an excuse of some kind. A reason…and I guess I do…but it seems kind of lame now…”
“Well I’d be glad to hear it. Even if you are breaking off whatever this is. I mean, I understand if you do. After we’re done filming, your career will take off and you don’t want to have to worry about being tied down. Plus with…”
“What?” Dom blinked, staring at Elijah, his eyes clearly confused. “Breaking it off?”
“I mean, that is why you’ve been avoiding me, right? Decided that a relationship wasn’t right for us. That we should be friends? You just didn’t know how to break it to me, so avoidance was the best thing…right?”
Dom looked at Elijah in stunned silence, his normally cheery eyes looking as if they’ve just realized something. “Shit, I’ve really bollocked this up, haven’t I?”
“What?”
“I didn’t mean…I never meant for you to think that I was breaking up with you…I…fuck…I…was just so fucking nervous.”
“Nervous?” Elijah stared at Dom as if he had just told him that they weren’t in New Zealand, but in Disneyland and tomorrow they’ll head off for Universal Studios. “What do you mean you were fucking nervous? Dom, you made sure that you and I weren’t ever in the same room together alone. It was painfully obvious that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“That’s not I meant to happen…I…”
Elijah crossed his arms now irritated and confused. Ever since they’ve returned from Christmas break, Dom hadn’t said two words to him about their relationship and he had made it quite clear that he didn’t want any alone time with him. Now here he was, telling Elijah that his avoidance wasn’t about what Elijah had to have assumed it to be. That it was something else. What the fuck? “What did you mean to happen then, Dom? That I would magically know the reason you were avoiding me? That I knew you were nervous, which is completely ridiculous, because of the time we’ve spent together. What were you fucking intentions?!”
“This,” Dom thrusted the small gift wrapped box into Elijah’s hand, his eyes wide and desperate to erase the damage he had caused. “This was my intentions…I just couldn’t work up the bloody nerve to give it to you until now…”
Elijah looked at the wrapped box as if it was some kind of explosive. He looked up at Dom, feeling more confused than ever. He was halfway tempted to throw the box back in Dom’s face and tell him to fuck himself, but decided against it. After all, he really wanted this relationship with Dom, and if what was in the box could give them a chance and erase the hurt of the past few weeks, well he was more than happy to open it.
With trembling fingers, he pulled off the wrapping and carefully opened the box and gasped at what was inside. His eyes darted up to stare at Dom in complete shock. Inside was a silver ring with two hands holding a heart, with a crown on top of it.
“It’s a Claddagh ring….wear it with the pointy end of the heart pointing towards you and it means…”
“That I belong to someone…” Elijah felt tears well up in his eyes at the meaning of Dom’s gift and knew why Dom had been so nervous. What he was asking of Elijah was not something to be taken lightly. It was big and Dom had every right to be nervous, even though he should have known what Elijah’s answer would be…then again, how would he. They had only begun this part of their relationship. “It’s beautiful Dom…”
“I wanted to give it to you when I returned from
Elijah had to admit that he was touched, beyond reason. He hadn’t expected this. It took him by surprise, but he was happy and relieved. He looked up at Dom and grinned, a giggle slipping through his lips.
“You silly Brit. Of course I’ll be yours exclusively. There’s no other answer than yes. You should have known that,” He wrapped his arms around Dom, claiming his lips in a warm kiss. Giggling again, he pushed the box into Dom’s hand. “Here. Put it on me…”
Dom smiled, tears now coursing down his own pale cheeks, he took the ring out of the box, and with trembling fingers, slipped the ring onto Elijah’s left ring finger. “It’s official.”
Elijah just laughed and again threw his arms around Dom, holding him close. What had started out as a miserable, gloomy day in Elijah’s book had turned out to be bright with sunshine and hope. Hope that he and Dom would be together forever….
Present Day….
But they hadn’t been together forever. Dom had died and left Elijah here all alone, to yell at their friends for daring to reunite after Dom was gone. To search for lost pictures amongst their memoirs. To remember the love that they had.
Sighing, Elijah got to his feet and slipped down to the bed room. He felt another ache as he looked at the bed that he now slept in alone. As he looked at the now empty bedside table that had once held Dom’s belongings. Elijah went to his dresser and pulled out the bottom drawer, and withdrew a familiar tiny box out from under the folded clothes and took out the Claddagh ring Dom had given him all those years ago.
Stifling tears, he went to the bed he had once shared with a loving husband and held the hand now wearing the ring to his chest and let the hot tears flow. He closed his eyes and silently cried, feeling Dom’s invisible presence somehow. His tears soon stopped flowing and he snuggled into the bed, as if snuggling into his dead lover’s embrace, and fell asleep, perhaps feeling a weightless kiss on his lips as his hand still remained curled against his heart.