Final Fantasy VII 100 Word Challenge

Title: Pretty Woman.
Characters/Pairings: Cid, Yuffie, Cloud, Tifa, Don Corneo
Rating/Type: G
Team: Avalanche
Word Count: 100.
Author's Notes: Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule) If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.

* * *

Don Corneo was still playing his silly little games.

This time, Cloud refused to wear a dress. Tifa was both annoyed and relieved. Cloud was prettier than most guys, but that didn’t make him prettier than her.

She felt a little guilty about letting Yuffie come, too, but the ninja wasn’t exactly helpless. Or pretty.

She was still puzzled as to how they’d ended up with Cid in a dress. She thought it had something to do with him accusing Vincent of having a girly face.

When he was chosen, she didn’t hesitate to attack Corneo.

Title: Frilly WEAPON
Characters: Cloud, Aeris
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #22 - MacGuyver Rule

It had taken all of his well-earned skill, cunning, nerve, and GP, but Cloud had finally beaten Speed Square and received the amazing grand prize. Red-faced, still sweating from exertion, he held it out to Aeris. "I told you I'd do it."

Aeris lit up. "I never doubted you for a second, Cloud!" Swiping the prize from his hands, she swung it experimentally. "Hmm," she mused, "yep. This'll do nicely."

Cloud didn't understand until they were back on the road to Cosmo Canyon, and he bore witness to the surreal sight of Aeris beating up monsters with her brand-new parasol.





Title: Location, Location, Location
Characters: Zack, OC
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #26 - Local Control Rule

As if to make up for the monsters in the towers, the monsters surrounding Midgar had always been weak, more nuisance than threat. The situation changed the farther you got from the city: Mideel had its share of beasts, and soldiers in Wutai had to worry about lightning-spitting birds, but the most dangerous creatures came from the North, as if the great Crater there was a cauldron boiling over with all things that fed on humankind.

"Why don't you try someplace like Midgar?" Zack asked a northern monster hunter with a broken arm once.

She snorted weakly. "Midgar. 'Nuff said."



Title: Kitty Paralysis Rays
Characters: Cloud, Barret
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #30 - Selective Paralysis

Barret slid the rice-paper door aside and poked his head through the doorway. "Yo, Spike? You in here?"

Cloud gritted his teeth. "I'm here, Barret."

"Vince spotted Yuffie near the weapons shop - c'mon already!" When Cloud didn't move, Barret scowled. "What's the holdup?"

"Can't move," Cloud answered, very quietly.

"What? Do you need a Soft?"

Cloud shook his head. "Cats."

"Cats?"

"Cats."

Barret directed his attention downwards, to where at least a half-dozen cats were twining and rubbing against Cloud's legs, and guffawed. "Aww, ain't that cute."

"Barret, as soon as they let me leave, I'm going to hurt you."




Title: The Longest Day
Characters: Ensemble cast
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #31 - Bed Bed Bed

"So... does this mean we saved the world?"

Cait Sith shrugged. "Midgar's pretty much a loss, but - yeah, on the whole."

"Technically, Aeris saved the world," Nanaki pointed out. "We just cleared the way for her."

Cid whooped, hooked an arm around Vincent's and spun him around. "I'll take that! C'mon, people - drinks are on me! Big-damn-hero party!" He halted suddenly, letting Vincent go. "Except we're missing our biggest damn hero. Where's Spike?"

After a brief, frantic search, Tifa found Cloud curled up in the chocobo stable with their newest gold, fast asleep. Smiling, she left him to his rest.



Title: The Reaping
Characters: Sephiroth, President Shinra
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #38 - You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank

"You've let yourself go, President Shinra."

The corpulent man gaped soundlessly at his killer, blood welling up in his throat. Sephiroth's expression was a twisted, agonizing mockery of a pleasant smile. "Don't look so surprised. You made me a weapon, Mr. President. I've just chosen to let Mother wield me instead."

As Shinra bled out his life, Sephiroth tilted his head, listening to a distant helicopter's rotary blades. "Your successor is coming," he commented idly. "As is the Ancient." His lip curved cruelly, an extra twist of the blade. "I wonder if they'll be disappointed I got to you first."



Title: Blue Sub #6
Characters: Cloud, Tifa
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #69 - Sixth Law of Travel

The Carry Armor had done its job, and the Shinra troops were getting away with the Huge Materia - but not for long, if Cloud had anything to say about it. He raced down the dock to the last remaining submarine, barely pausing to knock aside the troopers before vaulting into the pilot's chair. "All right - it's all ready to go," he breathed. "Easy."

"Cloud, you know how to drive a submarine?" Tifa demanded skeptically.

Cloud shrugged. "How hard could it be?" He tapped a few buttons, pulled smoothly on the control yoke and eased the Shinra sub into the water.




Title: The Student Returns
Characters: Tifa, Zangan
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #123 - Missing Master Corollary. Pregame, post-Nibelheim.

Tifa might've known she'd find her teacher here - he'd always been a bit weird. "Zangan!"

Zangan sat back. "Well, well, Tifa. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever show up."

"You're the one who told me to meet you at the top of Mount Nibel!" Tifa protested. "What are you doing in a teahouse?"

Zangan shrugged easily. "I thought the exercise might do you some good."

"You-" Tifa flushed with rage. "That's it. I swear I'm gonna pound you this time, old man!"

Zangan grinned fiercely. "That's the Tifa I remember. Come on, then - your final lesson starts now."

Title: Not Applicable
Characters/Pairings: Cloud
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Series: Game
Author's Notes: #6 - The Single Parent rule.

Title: Her Son’s Mother
Characters/Pairing: Zack, Mrs. Strife, implied Zack/Cloud
Team: SOLDIER
Word Count: 100
Author’s Note: Rule #8: Nominal Rule.

“So, you’re Cloud’s mom? It’s really nice to meet you, ma’am!” Of course, the fact that both Zack and Mrs. Strife were currently floating in the Lifestream did make things just a little bit awkward, because there was nothing like meeting up with your boyfriend’s mother after you were both dead.

“I have a name, you know! I’m not just his mother!” She didn’t actually seem too concerned with the boyfriend thing. Yet.

“Sorry…what is it?”

There was a short pause.

“…you know, after all these years, it seems I’ve forgotten…”

--

Title: It’s Magic…Right?
Characters: Cloud, Aeris
Team: SOLDIER
Word Count: 100
Author’s Note: Rule #153: “Mommy, why didn’t they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?”

Cloud cradled Aeris’ cooling body in one arm, the other frantically searching his pockets for that item, that one item that could bring a person back from the brink of death. Finally he pulled the bit of down from his pocket, where it rested warm in his fingers, and shoved it at her chest.

The familiar sparkle of copper and red light never came, the down lying innocently on her blood-soaked dress instead of dissolving away in a burst of life-giving magic.

Why…why wasn’t it working?

Why wasn’t she coming back?

Magic was always supposed to work.

Title: We're Glad You Agree
Characters: Tifa, Aerith, Cloud, Barrett, Yuffie
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #97 - Three Females Rule. Takes place if you get Yuffie on disk 1.

Tifa and Aerith looked at the young girl. “Yes, of course she can come along with us,” Tifa said. “Why wouldn't we want her?”

Cloud and Barrett looked at each other, than at her. “Uh, well, she's a thief, for starters,” Cloud said.

Aerith waved her hand, pushing away such petty concerns. “We need her to help balance out the team. She'll be fine.”

“Balance...?”

Yuffie took that moment to make a wild swing at an approaching monster and fall on her backside.

“So glad you agree with us, guys,” Tifa said, pulling her gloves on. “Now, let's get moving!”

Title: Subliminal Messages
Characters: Aeris, briefly Elmyra
Team: Avalanche
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #21 - Aeris's Corollary

Every night while Aeris slept, she’d dream of… staffs. Sturdy sticks she’d use to knock muggers upside the head, or sweep people’s legs out from under them, or — in some of the weirder ones — use even to beat up dragons and sahagin and something strange and sinister that made her skin crawl. And these strange dreams grew increasingly common, until she could hardly close her eyes without seeing polearms.

“Y’know,” she finally snapped one morning, “you could’ve just said something if you wanted me to so badly!”

Elmyra blinked.

Thus ended Aeris’s knives practice.

Title: He Doth Protest Too Much
Author: freezing_rayne
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Cloud, Reno
Prompt: Cliches
Team: Turks
Words: 100

The RPG cliche I am making use of is this--No matter how gay the main character may look, talk, and act, he will never actually be a homosexual. At least, that's what they want us to think.

-----

"Hey, babe. Why don't you come home with me?"

"Stop that, Reno, I'm not gay!"

"The hell you aren't. You're the gayest thing to ever swing a giant sword."

"I'm just sensitive. And it's not my fault I was born with this womanly beauty."

"I think that leather-skirt thing you wear is a sign, yo"

"I'm not gay! I never asked to look so good in a dress that a horny pimp would pick me over a group of real girls!"

"Uh huh...so what's with the boner you currently have from me stroking your shoulder?"

"...I'm thinking about boobs."

Title: Fists of Fury
Challenge: Clichés
Characters: ensemble cast
Team: SOLDIER
Word count: 100
The Cliché: Anime & Game Armaments Standard: Everyone must use a Singular and Unique Weapon distinctive from all others. If two characters have swords, they must be of Radically Different design. The Angeal Corrolary – if two characters DO wield the exact same make and model of weapon, one of these characters will also have in his possession a Singular and Unique Weapon that he will not, for obscure and vital reasons, ever be seen to wield – does not apply in this case.

“How about a sword?”

Cloud averted his gaze. “Swords are for SOLDIERs.”

“That silver-haired brat has a sword!”

“Villain. Next choice?”

Tifa scowled, then brightened. “What about a gun?”

“No.” Vincent flashed his cape to show off his three-barrel.

“Crap!” Tifa paced back and forth, thinking. “Maybe a nice pointed stick?”

Cid chewed on his cigarette. “Lookit here, girl, I’ve got one of those.”

“Plain stick?”

“Dead chick.”

“Can’t I have hers?”

“Sorry, that’s just the way things are.”

Tifa rubbed her temples. “What do you want me to do in a fight, bitch-slap ‘em?”

Their silence was not reassuring.

Title: Wonderland
Challenge: Cliche #157: All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.
Pairing: Cloud/Aerith
Team: AVALANCHE
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
A/N: More an interpretation of the prompt than direct take on it. Major AU.

It took blood and a prayer, and Cloud had Aerith in his life again. She reached out to touch his cheek.

"I love that you love so much." Aerith smiled and took the opportunity to lean against his chest.

He stood still for a while, then embraced her. Her body felt warm through her clothes. She flinched when he sought out the spot where Masamune had pierced into her.

Cloud heard her gasp of betrayal seconds before he snapped her neck. If he hadn't known already, that would have been his proof.

"Nice try, Sephiroth."

Now, to wreck this illusion.

Title: Concept Model
Characters: Cloud, Dio
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #66 - Second Law of Travel

Cloud looked at the 6-wheeled vehicle a little cynically. “Do you have another one?”

Dio's smile fell fractionally. “My boy, this is one of a kind! Isn't it good enough for you? Do you have another way to cross the river?”

“No, no, it's not that, it's just...” Cloud sighed. Barrett would take up an entire row by himself. So would Red. He could stuff Cait Sith and the stupid thing it rode on in the trunk, once he figured out how to turn them off. That mean he and the girls... “Never mind, it'll be great, thank you!”

Title: Should Be Obvious
Character: Vincent
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #25 - Dimensional Transcendence Principle. Set during DoC

Vincent stared at the phone, then closed it and looked at the ruined building. There was an entrance to DeepGroup in there, somewhere. It shouldn't be too hard to find, since the building was mostly destroyed, which left him with only a couple of floors to check. The usable space couldn't be that large.

Two hours and several wrong turns and dead ends later, he was more than happy to let the Galian Beast tear something apart. It didn't look that big from the outside. How could there be so many troops pouring in from an entrance he couldn't find?

Title: Instant Turnaround
Character: random shopkeeper, Cloud
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #24 - Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress

“It's supposed to be larger, so it protects you better.”

Aerith made a face. “I really don't like it, my materia doesn't fit into it right, it's too heavy - “

Cloud sighed. No use arguing with her. “All right, all right, I'll go get the other one back.” Muttering under his breath, he walked back into the shop.

“Yes sir, how may I help you?”

“I need to sell you this and buy back the other one.” Cloud took out the newer bracelet.

“I'm sorry, sir, but I've already sold it.”

“But... how... to who?” Cloud sputtered.

The shopkeeper only smiled.

Title: Knight In Shining What, Again?
Characters: Aeris, Zack, a Turk
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #3: Thinking With the Wrong Head. Probably not CC compliant.

"Back off, brighteyes." The nameless Turk's eyes narrowed, flickering between his prey and her self-appointed guardian as if searching for a way past him. "The girl's marked to come in. Orders from the top."

"Yeah? Well, I don't take orders from Turks." Zack's buster remained steady in his hands, its edge glinting in the inexplicable sunlight. "And I don't like guys who don't treat girls with respect. If you want- er-" He tilted his head back. "What was your name again?"

"Aeris," the girl supplied with a sigh.

"-Aeris," Zack continued, grinning confidently, "you're gonna have to go through me."




Title: We Are Adventurers
Characters: Cid, Cloud
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #9: The Compulsories

Cloud stared out the front viewport, resisting the urge to smack himself in the forehead. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Derelict ghost airship?" Unruffled by contrast, Cid throttled back on the engines and pulled smoothly alongside the massive black shape in the sky. "Yup."

Cloud pulled his hands through his hair. "Why not?" he said faintly. "We've had ice caverns. We've slogged through the sewers. We've trespassed canyons guarded by the undead. We've navigated the misty forest that nobody emerges alive from. What's a ghost ship or two?"

Cid shook his head. "Kids. Always freaking out over nothin'."




Title: Just Ain't Neighborly
Characters: Cloud, NPC
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliche #14: Garrett's Principle

Mirabelle stumbled down the stairs in her robe and slippers to find a short, blond stranger with a massive sword rummaging through her pantry.

"Can I help you?" she managed through a yawn.

"Uh, yeah." The stranger turned, her last case of Potions tucked under one arm. "Have you seen a man in a black cape?"

"Umm, maybe." Mirabelle rubbed her eyes. "Actually, yes. He was headed into the mountains, Ifrit knows why."

The swordsman shrugged non-committally. "Great, thanks." He trotted out the open door.

Mirabelle blinked after him. "Gonna need more Potions," she muttered, and shuffled back to bed.

Title: Not a Metaphor At All
Character: various SOLDIER recruits and First-Classer's
Team: SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #19 - "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..." Cut because it's long.

( Read more... )

Title: At the Speed of Rumor
Characters: Zack and Kunsel
Team: Avalanche
Rating: R (Zack's mouth, as usual)
Word Count: 100
Prompt: 90. Guy in the Street Rule

Zack pulled off the heavy armor and forced himself to slow his breathing. He'd done it. He'd beat that weird woman in white with the fucking annoying bow and arrows. Now he could get out of here and back to Cloud. They'd have a laugh at his shitty sense of direction, and they could be on their way...

His cell beeped. New message.

Ignoring how he still managed to get reception--let alone still have service--Zack checked the text. Kunsel. Kunsel spazzing because Zack had to be the legendary Soldier who defeated a major threat.

What the hell. It just happened!

Title: Easy Filing
Character: Veld's poor secretary
Team: Turks
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes: Cliché #7 - Some Call Me... Tim?

The paperwork was endless. She had been warned about that when she was promoted from the secretary pool, but the sheer volume of it was staggering, considering there weren't that many operatives in the first place. Every mission created a literal ton of forms that had to be filled out, in triplicate, and filed appropriately with the varying affected departments.

As she staggered down the hallway, almost hidden behind the latest round of filing for the Turk's private HR department, she was greatful that everyone only used one name. At least that made one small part of the job easier.

Last week, the Turks worked their creative magic to keep the trophy in their possession with 70 points. How did they do it? Well, they managed to tie up, threaten, and otherwise deter any writer who would lend votes to SOLDIER or Avalanche. While some writers didn't mind the coercion (I'm sure), SOLDIER and Avalanche were left out in the cold and without points. Can you blame the Turks, really? It was Tseng week after all.

This week's prompt is #52 - Clichés

You've all seen the clichés of the fandom and sworn that you'd never use them. This week, we are giving you the chance to blatantly ignore your conscience and throw those gaming clichés into your drabble.

You may use any of the clichés from the list located in The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés. Included in this list are 192 clichés with such gems as:

- "No! My beloved peasant village!"
- The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
- Aeris's Corollary
- They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
- Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
- Wutai Rule

Just reading these gaming clichés is good for a few laughs if not a spark of inspiration or two! Or if you have a cliché not listed, feel free to drabble it for us anyway!

So, no matter which cliché you endorse, you must write it for us in just 100 words!