Water in the desert, Asuma thought.

The knife was a cool present, granted, but it took more than a piece of lethal pretty to wring tears out of a guy like Ryouma. Of course, six months in enemy hands was likely to leave anyone a little shaky. And unless Asuma missed his guess, Ryouma hadn’t come home to a completely stable, sunny-tempered partner.

Still, he hadn’t wanted to make the man cry.

“Good enough present that I don’t have to put out?” he asked. “‘Cos I’ve gotta save something for the next date.”

Ryouma chuckled, low and hoarse, and dragged the back of his hand across his eyes. A faint rush of colour put some actual health in his cheeks, but he didn’t seem ashamed of the wet on his fingers. “Don’t worry. Your chastity’s safe from me.”

“Prolly a good thing,” Asuma said, swallowing a burning mouthful of coffee. “Reckon I’ve used up my rainbow quota for the month today.”

Dark brows winged up. Ryouma sheathed his knife with careful, reluctant hands and laid it back in its box. "What, you're rationing it? Hate to break it to you, kid, but even straight guys can buy their pals presents." He sipped his drink thoughtfully, licking froth off his teeth. "Although gettin' super nice personally engraved presents for someone you haven't even met yet..." A teasing grin flicked past. "Maybe whatever they put in the water up at HQ is gettin' to you after all."

“Sure got you,” Asuma said, stretching back in his chair and returning the grin. “Or maybe Kakashi’s just that pretty. Bet you could slap some curves on him an’ no-one’d be able to tell the difference.”

The barista chose that moment to arrive with sandwiches. She stumbled, loaded platter almost landing in Ryouma’s lap. Ryouma caught the platter with one hand, steadying her with the other. “You okay?”

The woman made a faintly breathless noise, though whether that was at the surprise or the being caught by a handsome ninja, Asuma couldn’t tell.

“He’s not actually pretty,” Ryouma said, looking back at Asuma. “But he’s the only one.”

Asuma reached across to rescue the sandwiches. “Only one what?”

Ryouma went still for a moment, then re-steadied the barista back on her feet and gave her a bright grin. “Only one worth switching teams for.”

The barista laughed like silver bells. “Don’t switch back,” she said. “Women are crazy.”

“I like women,” Asuma said, just on the off chance.

The barista smiled at him. “So do I.”

“Is anyone in this village straight?” Asuma asked, consoling himself with an—admittedly delicious looking—cheese sandwich.

"Most of my old girlfriends. I used to think I was the only straight guy in ANBU, though." Ryouma threw back another gulp of coffee and helped himself to a sandwich — bacon, the lucky bastard. "I told you, there's somethin' in the water."

Asuma snorted. “Wouldn’t put it past ‘em. That’d be a good way to keep the ANBU crazy outa the breeding pool.” He looked up from his sandwich. “So you told me about Kakashi. What about you? You said you weren’t getting back into ANBU. Planning to teach kids, too?”