| [Nov. 19th, 2011|07:11 am] |
Kakashi swallowed hard. The funeral had been a week later; he’d worn his mask and mourning blacks, and Minato had gripped his shoulder hard enough to bruise. Jiraiya had gotten drunk; the Sandaime had said a few words; a half-dozen of Sakumo’s former teammates had shown up to stand in silence. And then there’d been the white-faced, hard-eyed knot of grieving, furious relatives of the ninja who hadn’t survived Sakumo’s mistake, determined to get one last parting shot. Minato had shouted at them, Kakashi remembered dimly.
Kakashi had said, Let them.
“Stupid bastard,” he whispered hoarsely, and didn’t know who he meant.
It hadn’t changed anything afterwards. Sakumo’s memory was still hated; the Hatake clan was still dying. Would die when Kakashi did, because he had no plans to inflict himself on a new generation, no matter what the Sandaime suggested. There’d been no honour in any of it, just a stupid lonely boy who’d grown up learning all the wrong lessons, until another boy had died for him.
I believe the White Fang is a true hero!
He’d already taken his hitai-ate off. Slowly, careful not to jar Ryouma, he lifted his free hand and rubbed it over his eyes, trying to force back the burn of hot salt. His fingers came away wet. Ryouma stirred, murmuring something faintly incoherent, frowning in his sleep. Bad dreams already.
“S’okay,” Kakashi managed, re-settling his right hand on the back of Ryouma’s neck, chidori scar to skin. “Stay asleep.”
For maybe the first time ever, Ryouma actually obeyed him.
What would Sakumo have done if he’d had more than a son to live for? If his wife had survived. She was lovely. Maybe she’d been funny and fierce and uncompromising, a sharpened blade. Maybe she would have stood like a shield between Sakumo and the village who’d turned on him, and said you’re still worth something.
Maybe she would have been there, to take the tanto from his hands.
What was it worth when you started?
Everything.
His whole family, his whole self. They’d given everything, and he’d given everything, and he’d ended up—
Here. |
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