"That," Ryouma said firmly, "stays outside." He wrinkled his nose at the oozing mess. "And if you're gonna babble about puppies, you stay outside with it."

Puppies weren't the problem, of course. Tsume wasn't really, either. Hell, he'd asked Kuromaru for advice on winning her barely a month ago. But whatever ideas Kuromaru had about Kakashi were clearly so tangled they'd only end in a headache. Where the hell had he got them, anyway? It wasn't like Ryouma'd advertised in the halls that I gave a blowjob to Hatake Kakashi!, or like he even smelled like the man. He'd showered when he got home two days ago, and he was pretty sure all he smelled of now was infection and antiseptic.

Asking would only provoke more questions in return, though, and Ryouma wasn't sure he had the answers. So he folded his arms across his chest, and glared at the shredded chunk of Death Hamster meat instead.