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fallen_kakashi ([info]fallen_kakashi) wrote in [info]fallen_leaves,
@ 2009-04-20 19:19:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:kakashi, mission, ryouma

The Storm Before the Calm. [Closed to Kakashi and Ryouma]
[Takes place the afternoon following Watch Me Burn]

When Kakashi woke up, it was to the dull soundtrack of agonized blood beating in his ears. He groaned very, very quietly, and curled up, pressing the heels of his hands to his overheated forehead. That prompted another deep-in-the-throat noise when he touched what felt like the morning after-impression of someone's fist, and ratcheted his headache up from bloody awful to apocalyptic.

Most ninja were relatively good at waking up, putting the pain aside, and working out why they didn't know where the hell they were. But Kakashi was fairly certain most ninja hadn't had their skulls recently unscrewed and filled with hot tar. He bit down a third unhappy sound and focused on breathing for a while.

When it felt like he could move without his head spontaneously exploding, he risked opening one eye--and immediately closed it. Whatever bastard had taken the time and effort to steal his memory and replace it with molten lava had also apparently spared a moment to sandpaper his corneas off.

Or--no, wait. He'd passed out with his contacts still in.

He breathed a silent curse word, unwilling to risk speech just yet, and pulled very carefully on the thinnest thread of chakra; it crept into his hand with surprising ease and glimmered on his fingertips. Whatever had happened the night before, it apparently hadn't involved much fighting on his part. He forced himself to open both eyes a crack, used chakra to stick the contacts to his fingertips, and eased them out. Then he held his head again.

So, last night. There'd been a mission. A club. They'd met the target--

They.

Ryouma.

Forgetting about cause and effect, Kakashi's eyes snapped open as he lunged up on one elbow--and almost fell right off the bed. He was lying on the very edge, covers kicked off and tangled around his feet, dressed in unzipped ninja blacks that had fallen down his hips, and a huge red hoodie. His mask had slipped down to the end of his nose.

Next to him, Ryouma sighed in his sleep and shoved his face deeper into the pillow.

Kakashi exhaled and curled over his knees, slid his fingers through his hair and pressed his palms against his skull in an effort to squeeze the pain right out. His throat, unwilling to be left out of the action, woke up and pointed out that someone had apparently taken a dislike to it during the night. He touched it once, felt gauze taped from one side to the other beneath the cloth of his mask, and left it alone.

The room was quiet and undisturbed. Late afternoon sun crept in through the drawn curtains. Ryouma's scent coloured the air with the confusing mesh of exhausted sleep, adrenaline crash, and relative peace. Looking around, Kakashi caught sight of clothes strewn about on the floor, a med-kit left open on a disorganized ANBU pack, and a plate of barely touched fried rice sitting stone-cold on the bedside table. He stopped looking at the last; it did unpleasant things to his stomach.

Mission. They'd been on a mission. They'd gotten into the club, they'd had one drink, several kisses, met the target...

Then nothing.

Kakashi dragged his hands over his face, shook the ridiculously long sleeves back--Ryouma's hoodie; why on earth was he wearing Ryouma's hoodie?--and reached down to shake his mission partner's blanket-covered shoulder, reassuring himself that Ryouma was really definitely breathing at the same time.

Hey, rookie,, he tried to say, but it came out like a raw croak and made his throat hurt. He gave up on words and shook Ryouma again. Wake up, dammit.



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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:27 pm UTC (link)
"Mrfgh," Ryouma said, and tried to bury his face in his pillow. It was giant and fluffy and it smelled nice, a little like lavender. He'd dated a girl once who kept little lavender sachets in the bottom of her bureau drawers. He'd always liked the way she smelled...

His shoulder pinched. That was a harder grip than was really necessary. "'m awake," he mumbled, and turned his head.

Kakashi was leaning over him, wrinkled mask sliding down, bruised cheek creased with pillow-lines, chestnut hair wilder than Ryouma had ever believed possible. His open eye was grey again. Ryouma grinned dazedly, brilliantly, up at him. "You're back!"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:30 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi winced and held up his hands. He tried to speak, stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. "Not so loud. I think something died in my sku--what d'you mean back?"

Ryouma was beaming at him, faint laughter lines etched around the broad curve of his mouth. His skin was pale, dark eyes bruised with a heavy dose of exhaustion; Kakashi could feel the edge of what he was fairly certain was a heavy bandage beneath his hand. He twitched the covers back and caught a glimpse of blood-stained gauze taped to Ryouma's shoulderblade and stretching down his back, hidden by more blankets. Against the edge of his entirely-to-healthy chakra, Ryouma's felt low, flickering gently beneath his skin.

Kakashi frowned. He might not have fought, but Ryouma definitely had. And now Kakashi was paying attention, there was just the faintest catch of rot in the air...

He dropped one hand on Ryouma's head, getting the pulse in his temple, the heat in his skin, and the reassurance of coarse spiky hair tickling his palm all at once. "Tell me we killed the target and didn't just randomly lose our minds--" Ryouma smelled like grass under the sun, like pure relief. Kakashi rubbed a thumb over his forehead, frowning harder. "You okay?"

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:30 pm UTC (link)
"I'm fantastic!" Ryouma said. He was grinning like a lunatic, and couldn't care. "And I got the target, and the guard. You got taken hostage. Although you did manage to rescue yourself. That's when you got your throat cut."

He paused, re-scrambling the mess of garbled thoughts through his sleepy brain. "Well, not cut. You did bleed a lot, but you'll be okay. You sure you don't remember any of this? You're better now, right? Can I stop doing the thinking? 'Cause I think I kind of suck at it."

Especially right after he'd woken up. He rubbed the heel of his hand into a crusty eye-socket, winced as the stitches in his back pulled, and rolled over to properly face Kakashi. "Did that make any sense? Probably more than you were making last night. Matsuda drugged you. I think it was some kind of date rape thing. You drank what was supposed to be my dose."

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:41 pm UTC (link)
That was a lot to take in at once, especially with a brain that still wasn't totally convinced it wasn't on fire. Kakashi pulled his hand back and touched his throat again, pressing very carefully through mask and gauze. He thought he might be able to feel the shallow ridges of stitches or steri-strips, but he wasn't sure.

Throat cut. That was new.

He pulled a knee up and braced an elbow on it, leaned forward to rest his head carefully on his hand. "About as much sense as you normally make," he said, trying for dry and hitting raspy. "You said Matsuda's dead. Matsuda drugged me, tried to drug you, and I--what? Got our drinks mixed up? Because that seems extraordinarily stupid..." His voice trailed away as he remembered the bar; leaning against it before they'd gotten anywhere near Matsuda, watching Ryouma tense like antique wood whenever anyone got alcohol near him...

Kakashi groaned faintly and closed his eye. "Don't tell me I did it on purpose. I don't hate myself that much. I like my head. I prefer when it stays attached." And the blank stretch of time between meeting Matsuda and waking up was just a shade terrifying. What had he done besides get taken hostage and suffer a minor throat-slicing?

What had been done to him?

Suddenly he wasn't sure he wanted to take the hoodie off. If there was another bite mark on his shoulder--if Matsuda--

"But you weren't drugged," he said, clearing his throat with a cough that hurt. "So you wouldn't have let--Matsuda didn't--" He shook himself and opened his eye, forced himself to deal like a ninja. "Do I need an STD check when we get home, or is it just your back and my throat?"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:43 pm UTC (link)
"No!" Ryouma surged upright, bracing himself on the heels of his hands. Something popped in his back, an ugly knot of pain just under his shoulder blade. He didn't have time for that. Not with Kakashi sitting there with one leg drawn up like a shield before him, one grey eye open like a window onto rain. Not with that question hanging between them--what Kakashi had asked, and what he hadn't.

"He kissed you," Ryouma said, and saw the way Kakashi didn't quite flinch. "I couldn't stop that, but I swear it didn't last longer'n three, four seconds, and he barely even touched you." A broad hand cupping the back of Kakashi's head, strong fingers laced around his pale wrist... There wasn't any way you could catch disease from that. Kakashi didn't need to know it.

"I had a distraction all set up--even bargained to get the bartender out of the room, 'cause I tore my shirt and Matsuda offered to send him to get another one if I'd let him mix me a drink--but you went and drank my drink, because--I don't the hell know! Did you know they were drugged? You were already woozy when the guard caught you. Must've been strung out even before you signaled me to move. Were you thinking? You sure weren't later."

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:44 pm UTC (link)
"I'm always thinking," said Kakashi, who was starting to suspect he really hadn't been. He wasn't sure between the confusing ramble about shirts and bargaining, but it sounded like Ryouma was saying he'd taken two doses, at least one of them willingly, and that was just ten levels of stupid. What kind of ninja made sure to get himself drugged in front of a target?

One who'd rather step in front of kunai than see his teammate take it. If he'd known he was already drugged--known Ryouma wasn't--thought Ryouma couldn't stand to swallow another drink--

Matsuda was dead. They'd made it out alive.

Not stupid, then. Just playing on a hand with no cards. Trusting Ryouma to act on whatever signal he'd made, before things spun out of control.

Kakashi dropped his hand and pulled his mask up a little, making sure it was definitely in place. Three seconds--three seconds that he didn't even remember--was nothing. The target was dead. The mission was over. And Ryouma was sitting right by his side, smelling like--

Blood.

Kakashi's head came up, splintering the pain behind his temples into nasty little shards. He ignored it. "Are you injured? Beyond your back, I mean. I can smell--" He shoved himself up, caught his pants quickly before they slid down, and fastened them with a rough fumble. Then he braced one hand on Ryouma's bare shoulder and looked him over. It didn't smell like a lot of blood. He couldn't see anything...

"Oh, for--did you just rip a stitch?"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:45 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe," Ryouma said evasively, trying to twitch his shoulder free. It didn't work. Kakashi's strength had returned with his sanity; he didn't even need chakra to reinforce his grip. Ryouma would have to fight to break free.

He lifted his elbows and dropped flat, instead. The blessedly fluffy pillow caught and cradled him, soothing his back from the jarring impact. Kakashi wasn't quite so lucky. His reflexes didn't seem to have recovered along with his strength. He lost his balance, over-corrected, and caught himself with one hand still on Ryouma's shoulder and the other--shaped rather more like a fist--planted just below Ryouma's ribs.

Kakashi's eye squeezed shut. After a moment he let out a long, very careful breath.

Hangover. Right. Usually Ryouma took gleeful pleasure in his neighbors' morning-after misery. This time, though....

Kakashi had got that way protecting him.

He reached up and gently steadied the hanging head. "Sorry," he whispered. "I forgot. You need anything? Water? Painkillers?"

A basin?

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:47 pm UTC (link)
Cool, steady fingers crushed sweaty hair against skin as the effort of holding his own head up suddenly went away. Kakashi blinked and found himself with a view all the way down Ryouma's arm, past his still-tattooed chest, and up to his pale face, where concern lurked behind dark eyes.

Ryouma was holding his head.

Kakashi blinked again. A little ripple of clinging pain reminded him why keeping his eye closed was much better. He ignored it. Callouses scratched gently over one temple, where his hitai-ate would normally rest. Ryouma was offering painkillers. Water. Sensible things to take on possibly the worse morning after ever, but...

Decent ninja really didn't need to get their heads cradled. It was something you did for--for sick children. Women, maybe. Civilians.

"I'll take a shower in a minute," he said quietly, and closed his eye. Held himself still for one second longer. "Being clean'll help. How many stitches did you snap really?"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:49 pm UTC (link)
"Just one," Ryouma said. "I think. It's not a problem." The clone had only put in four anyway, although that was more due to the size of his stitches than to the severity of the wound. Ryouma had passed the required classes on field dressings, but he hadn't exactly aced them. "It'll leave a nice scar, though. Right under my shoulder blade. We'll have a matched set."

His free hand skimmed across Kakashi's back, pressed against the rigid wing of bone under the thick sweat-shirt. He couldn't feel the scar, but his fingers remembered it. Kakashi's muscles had been deliciously loose, his breath still a little rough from exertion, his skin slick with sweat...

It still was, now.

Maybe Kakashi wasn't the only one who could do with a shower. A cold one.

"You sure you don't remember anything else from last night?"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Beneath Ryouma's palm, Kakashi's forehead creased slightly. There was a fair amount to focus on, and he wasn't finding it quite as easy as he should have. Matched set was simple enough, though he couldn't actually remember how he'd picked up that particular scar. Ryouma's hand sweeping slowly down his back was something else entirely, far beyond a head cradle. And his scent was drifting like mercury, coiling into something else...

Kakashi inhaled and felt his eyebrows arch. But it was just a flicker--he was probably wrong--and Ryouma was asking about last night--

The scent mesh of low thunder and tired stress kicked a fuzzy memory, underlined by the weight of careful touch against skin drowning in heavy cloth. He opened his eye and leaned back a little, braced by Ryouma's hand between his shoulderblades.

"Did you--" He frowned deeper and rubbed his forehead. "There's this song... I can't remember the words..." There wasn't much but a slow, deep tune, wrapped up in a odd feeling of safety. He shook his head very carefully. "I don't know, it's all mixed up. There's definitely something about a song."

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:52 pm UTC (link)
Of all the things he could have picked to remember... Ryouma snorted softly. "Maybe there's hope for your music taste after all. That was Shuriken Force's 'Stumble in the Dark.' I'll play it for you when we get back."

If Kakashi was going to fixate on something out of the black fog of last night, far better a song--even one hummed slightly off-key--than... anything else.

Now if Ryouma could just forget...

Fixating on something else was probably a good idea for him, too.

"Right," he said. "You need a shower. I need coffee and Saturday morning cartoons and then a shower. And we both need breakfast somewhere else, because that rice was gross last night and it's probably worse now." He tapped his fingers lightly against Kakashi's temple, and pulled his hand back. "You think you can walk yet?"

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 01:53 pm UTC (link)
"Yes," said Kakashi automatically, leaning back further to stop himself from wanting to lean forward. Ryouma's hand between his shoulder blades braced him before he succeeded in tumbling himself accidentally off the bed. "You want cartoons? Seriously? Out of interest, have you ever stopped being twelve?"

The quip was just as automatic as the yes had been. Most of Kakashi's thoughts were trying to get a grip on the idea that Ryouma had sung to him. How out of it had he been, to need that?

How worried had Ryouma been to do it?

Shower. Right. That was probably a better thing to focus on. Not the way the room smelled like stress and exhaustion and food slowly becoming rancid. Or the way Ryouma's face was too white, his eyes too black. His hands a little shaky.

Shower. It would cool him down, help his headache, wash the scent away...

Ryouma had sung to him. Killed the target. Gotten them out. Patched them up. (didn't last longer'n three, four seconds.) Stopped things from going too far. Kept himself breathing. Held Kakashi's head.

Sung to him.

Kakashi hesitated on the edge of the bed, weighing just how bad his headache felt. How shaky his balance was. Then he lifted one shoulder, and glanced at the bathroom door. "Probably room for two," he said quietly, "if you want."

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 01:56 pm UTC (link)
He wasn't looking down at Ryouma when he made that offer. His head was half-turned, the clean lines of his masked throat and jaw carved out of obsidian, his eye searching for something just outside Ryouma's field of vision. Maybe that made it easier for him.

Ryouma tried closing his own eyes. It didn't help. He still saw sweeping angles, chiseled planes, the ironic wing of a grey brow lifted in instinctive derision. Only now he was seeing, too, the way lean muscles wrapped over Kakashi's ribs, the way blood pulsed blue through the milky skin at his wrists and throat. He could almost feel teeth grazing over his collarbone, cotton-masked lips crushing against his...

He swallowed. It wasn't supposed to go like this. He'd told Ginta. Promised him there wasn't anything, really. I'm not sleeping with him. I gave him something he needed. I'm not involved. He gave me life. That's all.

Not anymore.

His right hand slid down Kakashi's back, tightened for a moment on a fold of thick cloth, and then pulled quickly away. He draped his forearm across his eyes, doubling up on darkness that seemed momentarily less terrifying than one rain-grey eye. Kakashi had accused him of running around asking people to love him, and he wasn't, he was just--

He could do lust. He could do lust even if he was lusting after a man. He'd fallen in love before and it had never worked, and Kakashi was--Kakashi, so this wasn't even a crush.

"I think I should warn you," he mumbled to the memories flickering through the dark. "You came onto me last night. It was the drugs. You were out of your head. But I-- Didn't want to push you away. I did," he added quickly, because he needed very badly for Kakashi not to be confused about that. "So. That might not be such a good idea."

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:00 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi could barely read that scent shift. One moment it was filled with the raw crackle of heady thunder, the next it had worn away into ash and rust and old steel and he didn't even know what. But for once, he didn't have to. Ryouma had half his face covered, but he wasn't lying. Kakashi didn't think he was even really concealing anything. He was just talking--

About Kakashi coming onto him the night before. Which explained a lot. The edge of black weather in the room, lingering from last night. Ryouma's tension now.

But he'd said no. Hadn't taken advantage, even when he'd had every opportunity. He'd--sung, instead. Closed his eyes and covered his face and made sure they knew exactly where they stood, even when Kakashi had thrown out what he thought was a fairly obvious offer.

He settled onto the bed, trying to organize the tangled threads of half a dozen different gut reactions into a coherent reply. They'd slept together twice, now. Once on the riverbank. Once in the hospital. Ryouma had almost died seven days after the first. And Kakashi had almost killed Ginta seven hours after the second.

But Ryouma wasn't dead, and Ginta was safely gone. And Kakashi had been the one dancing close to the mortal edge last night, not Ryouma. Kakashi had been the one stuck sleepless and miserable the last time he'd tried to drive Ryouma away, clinging when the man had broken through wood and chakra to fight his way back. Two weeks with nothing but dogs, four different attempts he could count to stay away, and none of them had worked.

He reached out, hesitated, and then slid his fingers through Ryouma's short, dark hair. It was coarse and spiky, wild in a way you could only get if you showered and then slept with it wet. He was still shirtless, laid out on his back like the world was too hard to stand up in. Scars edged around the heavy lines of the false wolf tattoo; the muscles beneath it were stiff and shivery, tensing more when Kakashi pulled his hand down and wrapped his fingers around Ryouma's wrist, trapping heavy bone. In the shadow beneath their hands, the sharp line of Ryouma's jaw tensed.

"Considering my current headache, I've been trying not to nail a sign to my forehead saying pin me to a wall and get this--tent off me. Not that I actually want you to pin me to a wall. Well, unless I start falling over..." He paused and pulled his thoughts back into line. "My point is, I'm not offering to take a double shower with you just so I can wash your hair."

Over the flicker of a too-fast pulse, beneath the river of words, Kakashi's fingertips moved and tapped out what he was really trying to say.

Thank you.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:01 pm UTC (link)
That was a yes.

Ryouma dragged in a deep, dizzying breath. Thought about explaining how he hadn't been asking, exactly. Hadn't wanted to--

To pin Kakashi against the wall and coax that spine-tingling growl out of his throat? To peel his own sweatshirt off that sculpted body, to trace every scar with fingers and tongue? To taste warmth in a snowstorm?

Hell, yes, Ryouma wanted that. Wanted him.

He pulled his arm away from his eyes. Kakashi's fingernails skimmed his cheekbone, thumb cutting a warm sweep down his cheek to his parted lips. He breathed in. His mouth tingled, even after he'd pulled his arm all the way down, even after Kakashi's fingers grazed his ribcage instead of his face. He wet his lips with the tip of his tongue and stared up at the head bent over him, the masked lips parted in unconscious imitation, the single eye so intense it almost hurt. Clear grey, not brown, though the pupil was blown so wide the grey was only a thin ring around the black.

Ryouma felt his throat bob again.

"Okay," he said. "Headache. You need painkillers first. Then soap. And you need to be able to stand up, because I don't think we'll both fit in that bathtub, and we might as well stay in bed otherwise. Except for painkillers." He paused. Considered this. Winced. "It's a good thing you're after my hot ass, and not my brilliant mind, 'cause I think you'd be sadly disappointed right now."

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:03 pm UTC (link)
Headache? What headache? Who cared about headaches?

Then Ryouma said his last bit. Kakashi couldn't help snorting with laughter, and his skull reminded him that yes, he really did want painkillers. Now for preference.

"It's definitely a good thing you're pretty," he muttered, touching his temple gingerly with the hand not resting against Ryouma's ribs. "And I thought you were supposed to sweep me off my feet, not demand I get up on them..." Which he was almost one-hundred per cent certain he could do. Well, maybe ninety-eight per cent. Provided the floor didn't move.

Ryouma's medi-kit was open at the foot of the bed, pills and syringes gleaming temptingly in the afternoon sun. But Ryouma was right here, smelling like thunderclouds in heat and looking at Kakashi like he was suddenly the most interesting person in the world--

Painkillers. Shower. Standing up. Right.

He let his hand flatten against Ryouma's ribs for half a heartbeat, fingers stretched over scars and skin, and then pulled away, pushing himself to the edge of the bed. He swung his bare feet down to the carpet, braced himself, and stood up.

The hoodie fell down almost to mid-thigh, the sleeves skidding down over his fingertips. He stared at it, focusing past his aching head and the way the world lurched a bit, and pulled a face. "This thing is ridiculous--"

The wall was getting much closer. Kakashi yanked a hand up and caught himself before he did something seriously embarrassing, like knock himself out on a hotel room. His balance didn't want to co-operate much--what had Matsuda given him?--but he braced one shoulder against cold plaster, and looked back at the bed--then up to where Ryouma was standing. When had he moved?

"You didn't say I had to walk," Kakashi pointed out, drawling. "Just that I had to stand, and I'm standing. If you throw me some painkillers I'll be able to do that even better." He hesitated, then leaned his head carefully back. "Just--nothing too strong. I want to stay thinking."

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:05 pm UTC (link)
"Right. I'd like that, too." Ryouma stared down at the med-kit lying open at his feet. Rolls of bandage, packets of gauze, two gleaming syringes of morphine and one of adrenaline. The sewing kit, tossed down when he'd left the bathroom last night, had ended up halfway under the bed. A tube of antibiotic ointment had rolled halfway across the floor.

The little plastic bottle of pain pills was still tucked neatly in its corner, padded between medical tape and a folded tourniquet. Ryouma sank into a crouch and popped the lid off. Two yellow capsules tipped into his palm. He shook out a third and swallowed that one dry. Better to save the remaining two, in case he needed them later. He capped the bottle and shoved himself upright again.

Kakashi hadn't moved.

Ryouma took two steps backwards, towards the bathroom door. "Changed my mind. You gotta walk, too." He grinned crookedly. "Prove you can keep it up."

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:06 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi stared at him.

"There's a special level of hell reserved for teases and people who withhold important drugs," he said finally. "Special level. They'll probably make you eat your own kneecaps. And I'll just laugh."

Ryouma had a point, though. If Kakashi couldn't walk he wasn't going to be much good for anything else. Well, his hands still worked fine, but that just meant the guy walking off with the pain meds would have a good time and Kakashi would get stuck with all the work...

Right, walking.

He pushed himself away from the wall and absolutely refused to waver. Whatever Matsuda had given him--whatever he'd decided to swallow twice--still packed a heavy punch after sixteen hours. He felt clumsy and uncoordinated, muscle-sore and unbalanced. If it was a drug designed to take down possible ninja, it was pretty damn effective. He hoped the after-effects didn't plan to linger long.

Ryouma still stood by the bathroom door, weight canted on one hip, smile hooking up the corner of his mouth, eyes turned dark and watchful. He still wasn't wearing a shirt.

As incentives went, painkillers held by a half-naked teammate ranked pretty high. Especially when there was the strong possibility of getting him wet and soapy in the very near future.

Kakashi pulled his head up, locked his gaze on the soft edge of shadow spilling over Ryouma's throat, and thought about nothing else until he was close enough to reach out and grab a strong-boned wrist. A second hand against Ryouma's chest, fingertips grazing the edges of where scars should have been, braced him a whole lot better. The wolf tattoo still covered the sprawling tracks of paler skin left behind from the Cloud-nin's attention; some clever jutsu trick had even been written in with the ink, drawing the eye away from Ryouma's missing nipple.

"Any more hoops you want me to jump though?" Kakashi inquired, sliding his hand up to touch the hidden outline of where an ink-stain dragon had once reared so proudly. "Or can I get my painkillers and the old-fashioned cure for my headache?"

(Reply to this)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:06 pm UTC (link)
"Nah," Ryouma said. "I think you're good." His voice was mostly steady. Kakashi was walking, talking, thinking. Saying yes with a clear voice and a gaze that cut straight through excuses and reasons and fears. Skimming his fingers over skin that felt suddenly much too hot...

He'd meant to fetch a glass of water, to ease the pills down and to make sure Kakashi countered whatever dehydration three drinks had given him. Good intentions didn't stand much of a chance at the moment. Ryouma's hand closed tight around the two pills in his palm, and then lifted. His curled fingers pressed against Kakashi's mask; he spared one to hook the edge of the soft black cloth and drag it slowly down.

Kakashi's lips were dry, a little chapped, faintly rough against Ryouma's fingers. They parted with a whisper of breath that chilled Ryouma's spine. He rolled one pain pill out of his palm and past sharp teeth. Kakashi swallowed. His closing lips trapped one fingertip for just a moment, until Ryouma pulled free and smoothed his thumb over the fine-cut lines.

"One down," he murmured, and replaced his thumb with his mouth.

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:09 pm UTC (link)
If there was ever a time to go weak at the knees--Kakashi grabbed onto his control with both hands and kept his balance, before forgetting about it completely in favour of turning his focus to much better things. Ryouma's lips were warm and firm, his scent coiling like a living thing. His hand stayed by Kakashi's face, fingers laid lightly against the copy-nin's jaw; Kakashi tightened his grip in turn, one hand still wrapped firmly around Ryouma's free wrist, the other reaching up to grab the back of his neck and anchor him in place.

For a half-second, he was reminded of Ryouma reaching up to steady his head with cool fingers--but this was completely different. Definitely for adults. Fine for ninja. And if either one of them was feeling cool right about now, they had a minor problem.

A bead of sweat rolled down between his shoulderblades, trapped under heavy red cloth. Blood hammered a tattoo beat behind his temples. He caught Ryouma's lower lip between his teeth and snatched a breath laden with lightning.

"Second pill," he rasped, without moving away an inch. "Shower. Hoodie gone."

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:09 pm UTC (link)
"Wanna put an A-rank on the list, while you're at it?" Ryouma shifted his hand, pressing the second pill against Kakashi's lips. His own breath ghosted across the backs of his knuckles. "Or, wait, we already got that taken care of. Job well done. I'll tell 'em to put a commendation in your file, Agent Hatake..."

Kakashi licked the pill out of Ryouma's palm, nudged his hand aside, and shut him up.

Somewhere in the next few minutes, they reeled around the corner and through the open bathroom door. The edge of the sink jolted against the backs of Ryouma's thighs, and Kakashi's feet tangled in last night's discarded jeans.

If they were both off-balance, Ryouma discovered, they kept each other standing.

Maybe this would work after all.

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:12 pm UTC (link)
The shower was one of those gleaming hotel examples of fine plumbing, fenced off by frosted glass and brightly polished chrome, easily big enough to house two people. It was also tucked against the far wall, kitty-corner to the bath, and annoyingly out of reach.

Kakashi pulled his feet free of Ryouma's clinging jeans, kicked them to one side, and caught his breath. Over Ryouma's bare shoulder, a wide mirror threw back a sharp reflection of them. He paused for half a second, gaze sliding briefly over bruises and bandages; Ryouma's shoulder, his own throat. Gouged cheekbones, twin sunset handprints. Then he pulled his attention back to the things that really mattered, like the fine white scar etching over a heavy collarbone, begging to be bitten...

"Love painkillers," he breathed, and remembered himself enough to tug Ryouma backwards, dragging him towards the corner, one hand skimming down to hook into the waistband of loose combat pants. He flicked the button open just as a blunt edge of metal caught him between the shoulder blades.

Shower achieved. Now he just had to turn the water on, lose the ridiculous hoodie, and get Ryouma out of his pants...

Somewhere between that thought and the next, he got a little distracted tilting his head up to graze his teeth gently over a swift pulse.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:13 pm UTC (link)
With Kakashi's back against the shower door, his fingers hesitating on the Ryouma's zipper, and his teeth dragging a white line of fire down Ryouma's throat, there really wasn't much Ryouma could do but close his eyes and tip his head back and work on not actually pinning Kakashi to the wall before they got inside the shower. He did manage to mumble "Zipper goes down, remember?" just before Kakashi figured it out himself.

Evidently that hadn't made it through the black mist of memory loss. Kakashi pulled back a little, blinking up at him. His wild hair flopped forward over his closed Sharingan eye. It should have made him look fifteen, but there was no teenage nervousness in the silver-sheened angles of his jaw, no childish confusion in the touch of his burning fingers against Ryouma's skin. This wasn't the dazed boy Ryouma had half-undressed last night. And there was no hesitation at all in the sharp shove that sent Ryouma's pants skimming to his feet.

"Tell you later," Ryouma said breathlessly. He seized two handfuls of thick red sweatshirt and peeled it up, taking Kakashi's mask with it. They broke apart momentarily, and then skin met skin again as Ryouma dropped the hoodie on the floor and kicked his discarded combats back to join it. The tribal tattoo still swirled black over Kakashi's left shoulder and half his upper arm; silver scars sprinkled his skin over the blue tracing of veins. His wrist was bruised. His lips were swollen. Sweat slicked his chest and dampened the tumble of dark hair over his forehead.

"You've gotta be cheating," Ryouma groaned. He settled his palms over Kakashi's hipbones, slipping his fingers beneath the elastic waistband of the ANBU blacks, and if they didn't turn on the water soon his fingers were going to ignite. "It isn't supposed to be enough just looking at you."

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:17 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi's hands stilled halfway down to his pants. His head tilted back a little, one-eyed gaze fixed on Ryouma's blown pupils and the dark flush etched angular cheekbones. Ryouma wasn't grinning; his lips were pressed tightly together and blanched white at one corner, as if he was biting them on the inside. A sharp lick of fire shivered down Kakashi's spine.

He laughed.

"Told you I was the pretty one," he said, and changed his mind about his hands, reaching back with one to spread his fingers over heavy stomach muscles. Black lines of ink writhed everywhere, stretching up Ryouma's arms and over his shoulders to bleed into his chest, fading into lighter shading that outlined the furious wolf. Somewhere within the delicate mesh of fakery and justu were Ryouma's real tattoos.; the tribal design branding the outside of his left forearm, the blood-stained dagger cresting over his right hipbone. Most of his scars had been hidden by clever make-up, but Kakashi could just see the faintest ghosts where old injuries had left their permanent mark.

He leaned forward against the strong fingers laid over his hipbones, feeling callouses rasp against hot skin as Ryouma stripped him out of his pants, and reached his other hand behind him to shove the shower door open. Then he grabbed the back of Ryouma's neck, yanked him in for a hard kiss, and staggered both of them backwards until cold tile met his shoulder blades. Somewhere along the way he managed to kick free of his ninja blacks.

There should have been a moment between fully clothed and completely naked where thought intervened and brought a pause. But he barely even noticed his mask was gone. Hadn't worried earlier when Ryouma had pulled it down, didn't care now. There was a warm mouth in its place, warmer hands on his body, and all he wanted to do was drag Ryouma closer. Do whatever it took to bring back the low groan he remembered from the riverbank and the hospital. See if it sounded the same a third time.

Ryouma, apparently being a man capable of multitasking, slapped the shower control and won a twin chorus of shocked yelps when an icy blast of water rained down from on-high and drenched them both. Kakashi ducked his head quickly, half expecting steam to rise.

"There're better ways to break the mood," he said against slick skin, and found his voice still tangled between a laugh and a rasp as his fingers tightened in Ryouma's hair and his other hand swept lower to find that blood-stained dagger.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:18 pm UTC (link)
"Better than a cold shower?" Ryouma asked dizzily. He spun the dial all the way over and forced his shock-tightened shoulders to relax as the pounding spray slowly warmed. Kakashi's hands helped, too. So did his lips.

Kakashi's hands and lips had been the problem last night, when the clone had made its idiotic offer and Ryouma had taken a cold shower instead. He must have forgotten to turn the dial back afterward. Stupid, certainly, but he'd been distracted at the time...

The hand tangled in his hair tugged insistently, dragging his head back, baring his throat. Ryouma caught his breath, and lost it again. His palms flattened over Kakashi's flanks and then slipped down, fingers tightening on hard muscle, pulling Kakashi in.

They were both already beginning to recover from the chilling shock of icy water. Recovering more, as Kakashi nipped at the edge of Ryouma's jaw, as steaming water pounded down on them to wash coherent thought away.

He did manage a few words around the groan tangled in his throat. "You...take the lead, this time."

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:19 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi's mouth curved against the bared arch of Ryouma's neck, tasting clean water and the faint burn of salt as his teeth whispered over skin and bit down. Ryouma's hands startled and tightened as he made that noise again, like pure sex dragged over broken glass. Kakashi laughed quietly, and found it came out with a growl.

Take the lead? Then his back shouldn't be the one braced against a wall. He canted his balance, feeling Ryouma pull him closer, and shoved the other man back a step, then another. Half a step more and Ryouma's shoulders hit dark blue tiles made slippery with steam. The water plastered his hair down, fine black strands just long enough to get in his eyes. Kakashi left another careful bite just below the first and licked the sting away.

"Keep your balance," he said, and heard his voice rumble slightly under the dull thunder of hot water. Ryouma started to say something, but strangled himself quiet when Kakashi's palm flattened over the sleek trail of hair below his naval and swept down.

Later, long after Kakashi had won that splintering-wood groan and a spike of scent hot enough to char bone, after Ryouma had carefully released the grip that was leaving bruises pressed into Kakashi's skin and proved there was more than one copy-cat in the room, Kakashi found himself half leaned against the tile, half against Ryouma, and held up more by willpower than muscle strength. Vaguely, he remembered he was supposed to be hungover.

If still he had a headache, it was deeply buried under painkillers and endorphins, and he didn't much care.

"Gets better," he said, catching his breath, and watched the dark brown dye wash out of his hair and trickle down Ryouma's chest. "When you do it more than once together. You'd think someone would've mentioned that."

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:20 pm UTC (link)
"Oh yeah," Ryouma said faintly. The stars had quit dancing behind his eyelids nearly ten minutes ago, but his knees were holding him up only by habit. The arm draped loosely around Kakashi's waist seemed too heavy to lift. It fit nicely there, anyway.

He corralled his thoughts back into order, and tried words again. "You figure out what works. What you like. What the other person does."

Kakashi liked biting, but preferred to be kissed in return. He loved just being touched, whether it was a hand rubbing his back or a tongue licking up his throat, but he was unexpectedly ticklish between the ribs. He lasted longer than Ryouma did, and his growl could send white fire straight down Ryouma's spine, but when release came, he didn't make a sound. Ryouma'd have to work on changing that. Maybe if next time he used his mouth...

The image threatened to set off sparks in his brain again. His knees buckled; he slithered down the wet tile and ended up sitting on the floor with the water pounding on the top of his head and Kakashi sprawled in his lap. If he tipped his head forward, and blinked water out of his lashes, he could see the very edge of Kakashi's smile under the fall of silver-streaked brown hair.

"I want there to be a next time," he whispered.

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Kakashi's smile faded. His hand, resting loosely against the wolf's bristling ruff, dropped away. Ryouma's arm tightened slightly around his waist, scent spiralling down from the banked-fire warmth of a blissful afterglow. Kakashi stopped moving.

Three times now. Twice more than anyone else--ever. And that wasn't even thinking about the rest. The nights they'd spent together in hospital, tangled up in one bed, guarding against the night until morning came. The one time Ryouma had stayed in his apartment, cutting his fingers on borrowed kunai while Kakashi had fallen asleep with Sadao's fresh brand on his shoulder. The mission Ryouma almost hadn't come home from. The hospital rooftop where Kakashi had worried about breaking hearts, breaking minds, and had broken Ryouma's knee instead. The morning he'd lost everything and cried into a chest that smelled like thunder and bark.

A dozen nights, a half dozen fights, burned hands, broken bones, chakra as familiar as a heartbeat.

A song he could only half-remember.

He lifted his gaze from Ryouma's neck, past two slowly darkening bruises, but stopped just short of meeting Ryouma's eyes. Looked at his mouth instead, where soft skin had been kissed dark red. A little to the left, where the faintest shadow of stubble edged down over a knife-line jaw. Higher than that he could just see the faint silver glint of a new ear-cuff.

Ryouma's arm was steady against the small of his back, careful and firm. Kakashi took a slow breath and licked his lips.

"Just sex?" he asked carefully. "Or are we doing something else here?"

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:23 pm UTC (link)
No strings, Kakashi had said.

He'd also said One night, for preference,, and that hadn't held up, but this--

Ryouma tipped his head back against the wall. Steaming water needled his face; he closed his eyes against it, against Kakashi's face with the smile washed away and the unmasked mouth hideously vulnerable to hurt. The hand that had rested on his chest had fallen away. Deliciously lax muscles had tightened against him, a veiled tension that could snap into flight with one wrong word...

I don't do commitment, Ryouma had said. But hadn't he been trying to? Wanting to? After years of tearing himself away before he could break a girlfriend's heart beyond repair, he'd joined a corps where every comrade walked as close to the edge as he did, where the risk of death darkened every eye and quickened every smile. He couldn't break hearts here; he probably wouldn't live long enough to shatter his own.

And he was so tired of being alone.

"I don't know." The words nearly lost themselves in the pounding water. He didn't know if Kakashi could hear, but he couldn't speak any louder. His throat felt like broken glass already. "Whatever you want."

His fingers betrayed him, closing tighter on Kakashi's flank. He forced them to relax.

I didn't ask you to love me, anyway.

I'm sure as hell not giving you my heart yet.

It never worked before.

He'd never been very good at lying to himself, either.

No strings.

At least he could hold to that.

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[info]fallen_kakashi
2009-04-20 02:27 pm UTC (link)
The gauze taped over Kakashi's throat was beginning to peel away under the hot rain of shower water. He pressed a hand over it, fingernails catching against ragged edges. His other hand was still resting on the back of Ryouma's neck, catching the run off from short, water-sleek hair. He didn't pull it away.

Whatever you want.

He wanted to get out. Get away. Go back home and never see Ryouma again--

Except he didn't. He should. But he didn't. He'd tried bolting once, and stopped sleeping for two days. Paralyzed himself with worry over what was happening where he couldn't see, couldn't help. Been relieved enough when Ryouma had tracked him down in turn, angry enough to spit tacks, that he'd lost every shred of control.

Which was about as healthy as swallowing raw lightning, but ANBU weren't supposed to be the paragons of sanity.

He'd slept with Ryouma three times. He was still naked, sprawled in Ryouma's bare lap, with his skin covered in false tattoos and his head full of missing memories. With Ryouma's fingerprints bruising softly on his hips, and his own teethmarks blooming dark on tanned skin.

With both of them still breathing.

And he was so tired of being alone.

Kakashi lifted his head and drew strength from the calloused grip over his back, pressed hard against skin and shaken bone. The dark eyes that weren't open to watch him make possibly the most stupid mistake of his whole life.

Ryouma was the rule breaker.

"Cuts both ways, right?" Kakashi rasped. "If you die before I do, I'm going to kill you."

He leaned forward before he could change his mind, grabbed Ryouma tight with both hands, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 02:47 pm UTC (link)
That was answer enough.

Something hard and painful unknotted in Ryouma's chest as his lips parted beneath Kakashi's. Maybe they didn't have to define this in words, to fence themselves in with categories or bind themselves down in rules. If neither of them had much of a future, why should they need to plan for it?

He tightened his grip around Kakashi's waist again, pulling him up, pulling him in. His other hand tangled in wet hair, cradling the curve of bone that fit perfectly into his palm. No urgency this time, no clothes to strip away or blinding drives to satisfy. And you could say things with lips and teeth and tongue that you couldn't say in words, or even in code.

Things like, Stay for me.

Like, I don't know what this means, but I don't want to let go.

Like, I can't promise you my future, but I'll give you what I am.

They didn't need strings. For now, they had steel.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2009-04-20 10:51 pm UTC (link)
[[Continued in Laugh Like You Really Mean It.]]

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