| Heaven Forbid You End Up Alone [Closed to Kakashi] |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|04:00 am] |
[Takes place after Like You Wanted to Go and Give Yourself Away and crosses the timeline of Just Promise to Keep Your Heart Broken]
It wasn't running away, Kakashi told himself, when he finally fell into his apartment. It was a strategic retreat; a moment taken to gather himself before he had to go out and face the world all over again.
Specifically the bit of it Ryouma was standing on.
But not Ginta.
After the better part of a week spent shut up tight, his apartment smelled musty. There were dishes in the sink he hadn't washed, now acquiring a frightening layer of mold. His floor was layered with dog hair. The counters looked bare.
He shut the door behind him and leaned against it. After a second he remembered to call up the seed of chakra it took to bring the seals back to life.
Safe.
And perfectly alone.
He flicked the lightswitch on, bathing the room in harsh yellow, and shoved himself away from the door. The first thing he did was get changed; he was dressed in the hospital's version of discharge clothes--ill-fitting jounin blues that hung too large, and a torn black pillowcase-mask he'd cannibalized in the early morning. He swapped them for the real thing and wadded the discarded set up into a ball before he stuffed it into the trash. Then he opened a window, and washed his dishes.
When that was done, he vacuumed his floor.
When that was done, he cleaned his bathroom.
Then he re-organized his shelves, polished and cared for his weapons, filled a hamper of clothes that needed washing, and made himself dinner: it was steak, pan-fried from a cut he'd been saving in his freezer. He couldn't finish it.
He didn't have a dog around to give the remainder to, either, and no chakra left to summon one. He put the remains in the fridge, washed his dishes again, and made himself take some vitamins, instead. Then he eased through a series of grueling stretches, testing his range of motion.
By the time he was done, he was sweat-soaked and exhausted, and it was only nine in the evening.
After checking there was no one in the hallway, he snuck out and took his first shower in a week, making sure to take a private cubicle. He almost fell asleep leaning against the white-tiled walls.
The hallway was empty again when he headed back home. He didn't pause when he passed Ryouma's apartment; the sound of banging and muttered curses was enough to know the man was still alive--and still delighted with the guard dog Kakashi had left with him. He didn't stop by Tsume's apartment, either. Her scent was a banner in living, breathing colour, seeping out into the hallway. Unhappy, but alive.
He did hesitate by Ginta's apartment, but only for a heartbeat.
His own apartment was still the same; a little airier and cleaner now, but still the same. He let himself in, working harder to summon up the seed of chakra it took, and leaned against the door again.
Safe.
And still perfectly alone.
He picked a scroll off the shelf, now almost cross-eyed with exhaustion, and slouched down on the bed. Then he got up to change the bed covers. When that was done to his satisfaction, he sat down again and studied four feet of densely-lettered text.
Sometime between the second scroll and the book about substitution jutsu and their--surprisingly varied--applications in medical science, midnight ticked past. He closed the window, shut the curtains, checked his seals again, and retreated to bed.
It felt huge.
It smelled wrong.
By the time six AM rolled around, he was still awake. |
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