The one bonus about being seriously edgy was that it did wonderful things for your reflexes. When Kuromaru yelped and fell, Raidou had time to twitch with surprise, scythe a glance around for enemies, and snatch up both kids before they hit the ground. He ripped them away from the dog, ignoring the second yelp as Aoi's grip yanked out tufts of fur, and kirawimi'd all three of them away.

From a distant tree he watched the logs crash down next to Tsume and Kuromaru, and winced when the boy began to scream again.

"Shh, shh," he murmured distractedly, and slipped his hand over the kid's mouth. The sound muffled. Tucked under his other elbow, Aoi remained silent.

Raidou crouched, tucking his back against the tree's broad trunk, and made himself blend with the foliage. His eyes darted around, searching for other ninja. He didn't dare use his chakra and give away his position.

He frowned when nothing moved.

He glanced back at his teammates. Kuromaru seemed to be holding up a paw. Tsume looked concerned, then annoyed. But she wasn't pulling out weapons, or crafting her chakra.

The boy whimpered under his hand, smearing his palm with tears and mucus. He wasn't holding either of them comfortably, but he didn't want to move too much and draw attention...

Raidou weighed the options, and risked pulling a clone into being. It bounded neatly to another tree with a flash of jutsu and a copy of both children, and let out a low whistle. Problem?

"No," Tsume said with a great deal of disgust, planting her hands on her hips and glaring at her mutt. "There's no problem."

"It's bleeding." Kuromaru's voice was a whimper. He tried to put his paw down, staggered, and picked it back up. "I think it's impaled straight through!"

"It is not! It's barely a scratch!"

He put his paw down again, yelped, and nearly fell over before he could rebalance as he yanked it back up. "You try walking on a hole in your foot the size of a kunai!" The look he gave her was filled with injured betrayal.

"Oh, for the love of--" She held up a long, thin thorn, and yelled, "It's not a kunai!"

"I think I feel faint. Quick, I need a blood pill!"

Tsume rubbed her forehead with her index finger and thumb, and wished she was anywhere but there.

Raidou blinked once, and banished his clone. "Hang on," he said carefully, eyes slightly distant, and adjusted his hold on both children to something much more comfortable. "Tiny jump.."

He stepped off the branch and bent his knees slightly to land with a spin of chakra thirty feet below. The ground met him with a gentle puff of dead leaves. The boy yelled something. Aoi gasped quietly. Raidou caught his balance and straightened up.

Tsume was holding a thorn. Kuromaru was whimpering--very much like a kicked dog.

Raidou pressed his lips together and set both children carefully down. "Just... give me a sec," he muttered, and put a hand over his mouth.

After a while, the echoes of laughter died away.

Aoi gave him a reproachful look.

Raidou wiped tears from his eyes and ruffled her hair with one broad hand. "One day," he told her, words still slightly shaky with mirth, "you'll learn to have a good laugh when you can. It's good for the soul."

The boy grabbed hold of his leg. Raidou ruffled his hair too, and looked at Kuromaru.

"If you're all done being a wussy-dog, maybe we can keep going?"

Kuromaru gave Raidou an even more injured betrayal look. Nothing could pull off hurt like a canine, even one as big and ferocious as an Inuzuka familiar. If anything, while Kuromaru's attempts at looks often fell short due to his sheer size, at that moment he seemed even more pitiful than any canine in the history of canines.

Tsume was immune to it. "C'mon, pup. We're halfway home." And she wanted to be all the way there. Twilight was approaching; their late start meant they were getting in late, and she'd be flea-bit if she was going to spend another night outside village walls. "Come on, cubs. Back on the giant dog."

Kuromaru gave her another look of injured betrayal. She ignored it, scooping the boy up under his armpits and plopping him back down on Kuromaru's broad back.

When Aoi was seated they started off again. They got another twenty feet--Kuromaru limping heavily, and Tsume ignoring him completely--before the canine yelped and collapsed.

She turned to look at the two children sitting on the heap of demon-dog. She didn't look at Raidou behind them all. No doubt he was taking notes for the next time embarrassing missions came up. "Kuromaru?" she growled, then realized he was no longer whimpering. Her gaze sharpened, and she picked Aoi up off him, bracing the girl on a canted hip.

He only complained when nothing was wrong. When something was, however...

She glanced at his face and noted dilated pupils. Wordlessly, she handed Aoi to Raidou and pulled the boy up as well. "Kuromaru?"

He panted, blunt claws digging into the earth. "I think I threw my back out."

Some days, she wished she had a younger dog. She still didn't look at Raidou, just gave Kuromaru's spine a visual check. There was nothing obvious, but that didn't mean he hadn't done something. She set the boy down--he ran to Raidou and clung to his leg again--and pressed her hands through the thick fur, feeling the ridge of bone. "Tell me when it hur--"

A large head whipped up and around. Teeth snapped shut six inches from her shoulder as a yelp keened from his throat.

"...Right." She felt that bit of spine again, frowning at the way bone shifted sideways where it should have gone straight. She looked up at Raidou--the girl in one heavily muscled arm, the boy clinging to his leg. "He's not going to be able to carry them home."

Kuromaru whined, put his head on his paws, picked it up again, and began to pant, lips pulled away from his gums and the whites around his eyes showing. Stress and pain panting, not heat panting. Tsume petted him absently, scratching between his ears.

Some things you couldn't quite believe you'd heard. "He put his back out?" Raidou echoed blankly. "He's a ninja. How can he put his back out by walking?"

It was a little like hearing Arakaki had faceplanted carrying his shopping home. Some things just didn't happen.

But this one had--that snap at Tsume's face had been nothing but real. Raidou sighed and did a mental reshuffle, working out how they'd get home now. Someone needed to have free hands--or paws--to protect everyone, and it obviously couldn't be Kuromaru. Or whoever ended up carrying the kids.

Raidou eyed the panting dog and grimaced. "Can he walk?" No, wait. He shook his head and addressed Kuromaru directly. Dogs and summons that could speak, you treated like a person. Even if they did get snappy in the night. "Can you walk?"

Kuromaru treated it more like a request than a question. With a rippling of powerful muscle, he heaved himself to his feet.

His back legs didn't quite come under him before he yelped and dropped again, nearly landing on Tsume as she lurched to break his fall.

"Poor doggie," the boy whispered, nearly his first words since sobbing that he wanted to go home the previous night.

"I don't think it was the walking that threw his back out." Tsume grimaced, dislodging her leg from underneath him. "I think it was the limping. And the pups." She glanced at the cubs, then down at Kuromaru. "You're an idiot for limping."

"It hurt."

And this hurt more; that was obvious from the look in his eyes.

Tsume looked up at Raidou. "I don't think he's walking home." Her gaze raked the man, the breadth of his shoulders and the hard strength in his arms. Then she looked back down at her familiar, whose muscles were hidden by his pelt. She suspected Kuromaru weighed as much as Raidou did. Her hand rose, thumbnail scratching across her forehead, wiping away a trickle of sweat. "I can take the kids, if you...?" She couldn't carry Kuromaru. Not without a huge expenditure of chakra, and that just seemed foolish. But-- "I can summon up a clone. That should help." It would make them seem less defenseless, give them a distraction--enough time for them to drop their burdens and fight, anyway.

And they shouldn't have to fight, regardless. Of course, they shouldn't have been carrying back refugees, either...

Raidou eyed Kuromaru and tried to figure out exactly how much he weighed. "Oh goody," he muttered to himself. "Just when I was starting to think this mission was boring."

Still, there was a little good in it; the boy had finally said something. Raidou had been a little worried he'd been rendered completely mute by the shock of everything.

"Poor stupid doggie," he echoed, and swept the kid off the ground. The whisper of a laugh answered him. "Okay, bratlets--" Aoi gave him an offended glare. "--I've got to look after the mutt here, so you'll be riding with Little Boss. Play nice, don't hassle her, and I'll give you a cookie when we get home."

Aoi snorted softly. The boy simply dug a hand into Raidou's hair and clung.

Raidou quirked a slight smile at the little girl. "Cynic." He detached them both and handed them over to Tsume. Then he looked at Kuromaru.

Kuromaru with his teeth.

And uncomfortable frown creased Raidou's forehead. His fingers twitched with the urge to rub at the pin-prick bruises that lined his throat. With his arms full of dog, he'd have no way of protecting himself. Or anyone else.

He was on-edge enough to know just how catastrophic a bad trigger would be.

"Muzzle," he said finally. "I'll carry him. But you have to muzzle him first."

Before Tsume could say anything Kuromaru's head had snaked around, dilated eyes glaring at Raidou. "That's brilliant," he snarled. "Because if we get attacked I'm not defenseless enough!"

"We're not going to get attacked." She glanced at the two cubs, the boy looking suddenly afraid again, and glared at both adult males."There's got to be a way to solve this without teeth, and without incapacitating a ninja we might need."

The boy whimpered.

"For... chewing through... rope," Tsume finished, and winced at the utterly painful and unbelievable lie.

The boy seemed to accept it, though.

Raidou sucked an angry breath through his teeth and got ahold of his temper. Some things needed to be said, not yelled. "If I'm carrying him--you," he switched his attention directly to Kuromaru, "then I'm not giving you the opportunity to do what you've already done twice.."

Both children flinched. Raidou gritted his teeth and dropped his voice again.

"If your back's gone, you're no use to us anyway, dog." He looked at both children, then at Tsume, and finally fixed his gaze on a neutral spot between everyone. His fingers flicked in coded sign. Already twitchy. Not breaking because he decides to bite.

Some things needed to be said, but that didn't mean he wanted the kids to hear them.

Kuromaru snarled, lips lifting off his teeth, and spoke in canine. And I should not only be helpless, but trust you after you've attacked us both?

Tsume winced. "Enough."

"Translate," Kuromaru barked.

"No. Enough."

He took a breath. She could see it in his eyes, catch it in the way he smelled. The preparation to speak out loud, never mind children or who it upset. Tsume dropped to one knee and clamped her hand around his muzzle. "I said enough. Let me think." She understood Kuromaru not wanting to be defenseless--a ninja without the ability to fight was a dead ninja. It went against instinct, no matter how close to home they were. But she understood Raidou and triggers, too, and if he was on edge enough to admit it...

His scent was leaning toward acid again. She rubbed her eyes and tried to make her brain work. "What if--" A thought tickled the back of her mind. She tried to tease it forward. "What if we make him human?" Her hand came down, resting on Kuromaru's head. His muscles had tensed at the suggestion, but he didn't protest. Nothing was broken. The jutsu was possible. "Would that work?"

Raidou had already seen that jutsu; he knew it could be done. He leaned back on his heels and considered. Even if Kuromaru did decide to bite, blunt human teeth couldn't rip his shoulder away. And humans were lighter and easier to carry than dogs. Especially dogs Kuromaru's size.

And he didn't have a whole lot of choice. They needed to get home, the faster the better. Everyone that could fight would be useful.

Even if he didn't like it.

Raidou glanced away, head ducking down unhappily, then he looked up and met Tsume's eyes. "Fine." His gaze slid sideways and down to meet Kuromaru's. A new sign fell from his hands. Bite me and I'll break your muzzle.

"Just try it," Kuromaru growled before Tsume could silence him. She gave both men completely exasperated looks, then glanced at the cubs.

With a breath to steady herself, she carefully went through the seals of a sound suppression jutsu. When the cloak had come down around them, invisible and heavy, she went through the seals for a henge. The cubs would see an approximation of the truth: Kuromaru changing into a human in a process far less visceral than reality. The henge turned to them and smiled, speaking in Tsume's voice. "This is neat. You'll like it." It set them up to be excited about what was going to happen; normal children often feared this sort of jutsu, and they didn't have time to reassure them. She didn't bother to hide the flare of chakra that would come; the cubs wouldn't feel it.

Then she made the seals for juunjin bunshin. Kuromaru warped. Bones cracked, tendons popped. His spine ground against itself, bone dragging across bone as his body twisted around the injury. His howl turned into a scream, the arch of a powerful wolfen body changing into the shuddering of a small man, blunt paws splaying into the dirt shivering out into fingers that clutched at air. Dilated canine pupils became dilated human pupils, stress panting became a cold sweat and wet eyes, rows of bared fangs now rows of dull teeth with two extra points. Muscles that had tensed and tendons that had stood under a blanket of fur were suddenly exposed by an ANBU turtleneck that left his arms naked as sinew bunched and strained against scarred flesh.

Then it was over and she looked down at her male doppleganger, keeping the henge up while she pulled Kuromaru's head around to see her, checking his pulse with a finger and his eyes with her gaze. "You all right?"

A face only a little more angular than hers looked back, eyes black above blood-red tattoos. He nodded shakily, blinking as his pupils began to contract back to slits. When she was sure he really was all right--in pain but stable--she dropped the henge and noise suppression. Her smile to the children was a little brittle, but they didn't notice, too busy staring at the wolf-turned-human. She gave the same smile to Raidou and tapped out, Be careful with him.

It hadn't seemed nearly that violent last time. But last time, he'd had his own concerns. Now Kuromaru had his full focus.

Kuromaru, and the seriously creepy henge Tsume had set up for the kids. Raidou winced slightly as the creation's message was undercut by a howl that glided into a scream; full-throated and full of real pain. He wasn't laughing now.

Bone snapped with a series of crunching sounds that made him wince very faintly. It was a little like someone had popped every knuckle in a fist, and magnified the sound through a whole body. Raidou watched flesh twist for a moment, then he let himself look away. He fixed his eyes on distant trees until the sound died and Tsume's quiet murmur replaced it. Then he looked back.

Kuromauru's human shape was surprisingly delicate. All the brawn and solid muscle of his canine counterpart were gone. Instead he was built like Tsume; crafted from angles and sharp lines. A little wilder, a little less human.

Because he's a dog, Raidou reminded himself, and crouched down. He acknowledged Tsume's request with a flick of his fingers, and looked into slit-pupiled eyes. "Alright, bucko," he muttered, uncomfortable but willing, "I hope you can hold on."


He slid one hand under Kuromaru's heaving torso, another under his legs, and used a flash of chakra to help him haul the former-dog up and twist him so that he landed neatly against Raidou's spine. It was a move that almost needed an edge of kawarimi to make it successful. Raidou was fairly well practiced at it.

He shifted, making sure Kuromaru's head was on the shoulder away from his scar, and got back to his feet. He tried to ignore the vibration of a whimper that trembled against his back.

"Can we give him painkillers?" he said quietly to Tsume, ducking forward to put his mouth near her ear. "Something to make it easier for him?"

A muscle in her jaw jumped. "Pain meds don't work so well on Inuzuka. We'd have to knock him out," she murmured back, just as quietly.

"No." Kuromaru's growl wasn't as deep in his human skin, didn't have the same reverberation that it did coming from a wolfen throat.

"Easy, pup. We're not knocking you out," Tsume soothed. To Raidou she added, "Canines can cope with a lot more than humans can. He'll be all right." And he would be, even if the scent of pain radiating from him at the moment made her muscles lock up into knots. The worst was over; the rest would fade into a dull throb, something he could ignore with the stoicism of a ninja and the single-mindedness of a canine.

"Okay, cubs." She turned and knelt, one knee bent. "Who wants to ride piggyback and who wants to be carried?"

They both wanted to be carried. Tsume elected Aoi to take the first piggyback turn and tossed her up, instructing her to hold on tight, then picked up the boy and hugged him to her scarred chestplate. Getting home had suddenly become more important than simply being safe. Getting home meant fixing Kuromaru's back--even if it was his own pus-rotted fault it was hurt. Tsume set off through the forest at a fast clip, summoning a clone to run along ahead.

Raidou fell easily into step behind her, hands looped back to help support Kuromaru's weight. It wasn't too much now, but it would get heavier. They were only half-way home.

He permitted himself one quiet sigh, and locked his mind into a shinobi's iron focus. Deal now, hurt later. Don't think about hot breath on your skin. Don't think about teeth near rour throat. Don't think about a body pressed against your back, or long fingers on your shoulders. Raidou couldn't afford the time to snap. They had a long way to run, and no one with free hands--unless you counted a non-thinking clone. He just hoped Tsume's nose would give them fair warning of an enemy.

At least he didn't have to deal with crying children, he thought wearily, as the boy began to wail again. The forest stretched tall around them, and did nothing to muffle the sound.

Night fell. Tsume's arms burned, her legs growing weary with the constant steady loping. She switched the cubs around when the one on her back grew tired of holding on, and kept going.

It was dark when they finally reached Konoha. The cub in her arms--they'd switched several times, but at the moment her nose was full of Aoi--slept. Tsume paused along the wall and glanced toward Raidou and Kuromaru. Both looked tired. Kuromaru was pale and tight-lipped with pain, but he no longer reeked of it. That was hopeful.

She needed to take him to the hospital. She had the sneaking suspicion that if she put the kids down, she wouldn't be able to pick him up--not even on her back. She wasn't sure the cubs would go without her, anyway. They'd curled more tightly against her as the night had worn on, smelling more and more bonded. In most cub views, women were safer. Raidou had saved them, but she'd been carrying them for hours now.

She took a breath and regarded the two men. "Why don't I take them to the shelter, fill out the paperwork. Can you take him to the hospital?"

Kuromaru's blue eyes focused on her. His nostrils flared as he sniffed and looked around. Blackened dogtags, on a small chain around his neck that was normally hidden by thick fur, shifted against his collarbones. He sighed and rested his chin on Raidou's shoulder once more.

It was amazing what you could get used to. Raidou barely twitched as hot breath fluttered over his neck, lapping at sweat-soaked skin. He adjusted his balance, and focused his weary attention on home.

"No problem," he rasped quietly, and coughed to clear the dust out of his throat. Over his shoulders, Kurmaru's weight hung like a lead-filled sack. Raidou was just greatful he didn't have to cart around a full-sized Inuzuka bear-dog.

And that he got to put Kuromaru down soon.

He glanced at the kids. Aoi was practically unconscious. The mute little boy on Tsume's back was just barely awake. Raidou dragged up a half-smile for him. "Don't worry. Konoha's got good people in it. And strong ninja. We'll look after you." He hefted Kuromaru's weight very carefully, trying not to jolt the former dog. "And I'll drop by and visit you sometime, okay?"

He didn't get much of an answer; the boy was too tired to give one.

Raidou nodded at Tsume, noting the signs of exhaustion. "Catch you soon." He glanced over his own shoulder and caught a glimpse of pale skin behind scarlet tattoos. "Hang on, mutt. Hospital next. Where all the shiny drugs live..."

They separated once inside the village. Tsume kept craning her neck around to see where Raidou and Kuromaru were going, even though she knew.

"It's all right," Aoi said sleepily. "Raidou-san will take care of him."

"Of course," Tsume agreed automatically, and ran faster through the sleeping houses.

The shelter was closed. She went through a window and into the kitchen while the alarms blared, waking the family who ran it.

A man came staggering out of the back rooms, rubbing his eyes and blinking exaggeratedly at her. He shut off the alarm while Tsume set Aoi on the counter and the boy beside her. Tipping back her mask, Tsume rubbed an arm over her face. "Two. She's going to need naturalization classes. If she wants to join the academy later and she doesn't pass for the scholarship program, contact Inuzuka Tsume and I'll see that the funds are paid." She wasn't sure how, yet, but naturalization to make Aoi a full citizen would take an entire year. She had that long to figure it out.

"What about him?"

She glanced at the boy. "He can be naturalized if you think it's best. But he's not going to be a ninja." And that was the only real reason for the process, anyway.

"You should really come back in the morning. We have people who--"

"I'm sure they can sleep here tonight. They've been through enough, they don't need to be moved again. Get the paperwork." What her flat tone of voice and steely glare couldn't manage, the ANBU mask could. He gave it a lingering look and opened a file.

The boy began to sniffle. Tsume wrapped an arm around him, her other hand picking up a pen. "It'll be all right. They'll take good care of you, here. Keep you safe. Raidou and I will check in on you, make sure everything's all right," she soothed, keeping up the babble as she signed her name to papers, one after another.

"We need their histories. For therapy--" the man began.

Her voice was sharp. "We'll get them settled. Find them a place to sleep tonight. I'll give a full report in the morning." She winced at her language: did you report on something like this? He'd called it a 'history.' It didn't matter. She kept signing papers.

Raidou didn't turn around; he was much too busy keeping his feet under him. Moving carefully, with the slow, even gait of a ninja carrying an injured party, he followed the familiar path to the hospital.

He wondered if they were used to treating Inuzuka dogs, or if he'd get redirected to a vet. Would Kurmaru even need a vet? He was currently human. Raidou hoped he could be fixed that way; it'd make things a whole lot easier.

He trudged in through the main doors and tried not to stagger as he aimed for the sign-in desk. The chuunin seated behind it gave him a slightly startled look.

"Hi," said Raidou, between rib-heaving pants. "I have Inuzuka Kuromaru here for your excellent care. He was stupid and fell over."

The chuunin blinked. "Um."

Raidou ignored the noise behind his shoulder that was human vocal chords trying to twist around a growl. "Muzzle," he reminded softly. The noise got a little louder.

"What injuries exactly...?" the chuunin asked, recovering. He was already pulling up forms and slapping them on the counter.

"Possible slipped disk, general idiocy, and some blindness issues," Raidou said, without missing a beat.

"Blindess?" The chuunin gave Kuromaru's eyes a sharp look.

"Well, a definite inability to watch where he's putting his feet." Raidou hitched up a smile as comprehension dawned over the chuunin's face. Kuromaru shifted, nails digging into Raidou's shoulders in a way that probably wasn't accidental.

"And yourself?" asked the chuunin, waving a medic over with a gurney. "Any injuries?"

Raidou set Kuromaru down with a badly concealed groan of relief. "Nothing a long time spent in a comfy chair won't cure. Or a bed." Oh, his kingdom for a bed.

"Excellent!" said the chuunin, and handed him a slab of forms. "Then if you could fill these out, ANBU-san, we'll take care of your friend."

"Oh, muttered Raidou. "Goody."

The medics were wheeling Kuromaru away. Raidou gathered himself and prepared to follow. At the last second he turned. "When an Inuzuka Tsume comes in, would you let her know where we are? The idiot's her partner."

"No problem, ANBU-san." The chuunin smiled, and then tilted his head slightly to one side. "Quick question?"

"Mmm?"

"What happened to your armour?"

Raidou glanced down at his shredded clothes and sighed. "Long story. Just pass on the message, okay?"

The chuunin nodded once. Raidou limped after Kuromaru and ignored the quiet laugh that followed him.

Kuromaru winced as they laid him carefully down on the gurney and started wheeling him away, a doctor already sliding an IV into the inside of his elbow. "That's not going to work," he growled, eying the medication bag they were hooking up.

"Don't worry, ANBU-san. This even works on Inuzuka."

He tried to bury his vast annoyance. "But it doesn't work on canines."

The doctor gave him a patronizing smile. If his back hadn't been hurting so much, and every move made it worse, Kuromaru'd have dug his now-blunt nails into the man's jugular. "Well, luckily you Inuzuka aren't quite as dog-like as you think."

Kuromaru growled. "First off, not dog, canine. Second off, I am a canine."

The doctor frowned, checked his eyes, and looked back at Raidou. For a moment Kuromaru couldn't see either of them, as they wheeled him around a corner into a room. "ANBU-san? Was there a possible concussion?"

"Black-faced wolf," Kuromaru growled, then snapped at the nurse, "Get this off me!"

"The medication will help the inflammation so we can put your spine back in place. Just--"

He yanked the IV out. "Someone get me a chiropractor!"

"We need to bring the swelling down first--"

He really, really hated doctors. And nurses. And medics. When she tried to put the IV back in, he snapped at her. She yanked away, even though he was nowhere near her hand. "That drug will just make me vomit! I swear, I'm gonna vomit all over you... And if you give me an ulcerated stomach lining or ruin my kidneys because you used the wrong medication, I will visit you in your sleep."

Raidou sighed and stopped everything by the simple expedient of grabbing the gurney and yanking it out of the medic's hands. The jerk was enough to shut Kuromaru up with a yowl of pain. The medics stared at them.

"ANBU-san--!"

Very carefully, Raidou took the IV the nurse was waving about and handed it to a passing patient. "Here. Free drugs. Enjoy."

The medics did more staring. One of them twitched slightly, in the careful way that said they were about to do something stupid.

Raidou glared at them en mass. "Just because I get to insult him, doesn't mean you do," he snapped shortly. "Now stop being general morons and listen to the very dangerous ANBU, m'kay, pumpkin?" He fixed a look on the apparent medic in charge and pointed at Kuromaru. "Say hi to your patient. This is Kuromaru. He's an Inuzuka dog--"

"ANBU-san!"

"Not done talking!" Raidou leveled a look at the nurse who'd interrupted, and felt a little spark of evil satisfaction as she dropped her clipboard. "He's an Inuzuka dog. Or was. They have a jutsu that can make them human. If you're at all intelligent, there'll be notes on that somewhere in the building. I suggest you go find them, and while you're at it get someone who can fix backs without drugs."

"ANBU-san!"

"My name is Raidou. And for god's sake what?" His head snapped around to pin another medic in place.

"...um. Nothing."

"Fabulous." He picked a nurse at random. "Which room were you taking him to?"

"Um. Um. 419. Um--"

"Great." Raidou shifted slightly in a way that made the muscles on his bare arms flex noticably, and shoved the gurney until people moved out of the way. "We'll be there. You go get notes and back-fixers."

People stared at him.

Raidou sighed. "Now!"

Medics started and fled.

He glanced down at Kuromauru. "And not a word from you, mutt. You are causing far more trouble than any one person--dog should be capable of." With a grunt, Raidou got the gurney moving and headed for an elevator. "'course, I always kind of wanted to do that. Y'know, when they couldn't make me pay for it..."

Kuromaru lay back and very still, and focused on breathing. "Glad I could help," he muttered darkly. He didn't appreciate that Raidou had fixed it all without him having to fight them. Not at all. Not even a little. "Thanks." But that was only because it was expected, and his tone was very grudging. And maybe a little relieved. And probably none of it sounded like he was hurting.

"They do this every time," he added unhappily. "I have a file. If they would just get the file first... or even read my dogtags. They say 'canine' blood type." He glared at Raidou. "Canine. Not dog." He watched the ceiling tiles roll by overhead and added, "It's even worse when you come in without insignia and they assume you're in training..." Tsume was five foot four; short for a kunoichi. Kuromaru was five foot five; short for a ninja. Or a male. Or even a teenager, half the time.

It was vastly annoying.

They rolled into the room and came to a stop. One of the nurses bustled in, holding his file clutched to her chest. "We're so sorry, Raidou-san," she babbled.

"Raidou-san? He's not the one you were going to make vomit!"

She jumped and looked at Kuromaru. "Ah, yes, of course. Very sorry, Kuromaru-san."

If she stuttered over the suffix, he forgave her.

Then his doctor came in, white haired and with skin wrinkly enough to be wizened, if he hadn't looked so grizzled. "What did you do this time?" The man's voice filled all the corners of the room.

Kuromaru looked away. "I was carrying these two cubs--"

The doctor rounded on Raidou. "How many times do I have to tell you people that you can't load dogs up like that!"

"Canines!"

The doctor ignored him. "They aren't beasts of burden! Keep the weight near their shoulders," he gestured, "and give them lots of breaks!"

Kuromaru kept as still as possible in the hopes that he wouldn't be noticed and included in the scolding.

The doctor glared at Raidou, adjusted his glasses, and glared again. "You're not Inuzuka."

"Congratulations," said Raidou, by way of hello. "You have eyes." He looked at Kuromaru. "And you never said you needed breaks. Or that the kids needed to be up by your shoulders."

It was a touch of balm to his weary soul that the nurse was on his side enough to laugh behind her hand.

He continued before anyone could yell at him more. "And it was your own damn fault for limping because you wanted to be a drama-hound about stepping on a thorn!" He looked back at the doctor. "I had to carry him all the damn way home, where's my outraged physician?"

He limped to a chair in the corner by the bed and slumped down. "Hell, I'd even take some decent morphine." He gave Kuromaru a tired glare. "I hope Tsume flays you when she gets back. I could make a nice belt out of your fur."

Raidou folded his arms and leaned back, catching his breath now that he didn't have to move. "Okay, I'm done speechifying. Can someone treat the dog before I need to kill him?"

Waki glared at Kuromaru. The dog found the wall verrrrrrry interesting. "Is this true? You threw your back out by limping?"

"It was a very big thorn," Kuromaru informed the wall.

"When I was in ANBU, we would have left you hurt for being so stupid."

Kuromaru whipped around, incensed. "You were never in ANBU!"

"Ah-ha! But did I call you on your idiotic lie? No! And you!" He turned and faced Raidou. "You expect a dog to know what's good for him? Next time he limps, kick him in the belly."

"HEY!"

"But for the rest, I'll yell at--at--" he began to flip through Kuromaru's file, then just waved it around and finished, "his owner."

"FAMILIAR!"

The waving file bopped the non-man in the face. "Bad dog. No yelling. This is a hospital."

"I hate you." Kuromaru glowered and began to sulk.

"That's all right. I'll bring you steak. You'll love me again." He fished around in one lab pocket, and finally pulled out a lint-covered dog treat. He looked at Kuromaru, eyebrows raised.

Kuromaru looked away. Looked back. Pulled his gaze away. Looked back. Finally held out one hand and closed his fingers around the treat when Waki-sensei put it in his palm. He examined the wall some more and kept the treat hidden from view. Waki knew it would get eaten later: they were Kuromaru's favorites.

"Now, you." He motioned to Raidou. "Come over here. We need to turn him so I can get to his back. Watch the teeth." He bent over Kuromaru and nearly yelled, "If you bite again, I will go find a rolled up newspaper. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes!" Kuromaru nearly yelled back.

Waki-sensei smiled at Raidou. His eyes were almost lost in the folds of his skin. "Humiliation. And the noise of the paper. Scares them. You just have to know how to treat dogs."

Raidou gave the ceiling a faintly blissful look. "Y'know," he told no one in particular, "carrying him for six hours was almost worth it, just to witness that." He was going to take the memory of the last five minutes and press it carefully into a big book, just so he could take it out on blue days and admire it.

And possibly make copies.

To show everyone he'd ever met.

Raidou grinned and dragged himself to his feet. "Personally I'd go with a muzzle, doc. But humiliation sounds just as good. If you have to shave him for any kind of medical procedure, I'd be perfectly happy to help you strap him down."

Kuromaru gave him a look. Raidou made a mental note to add that one to his memory book, too.