InsaneJournal

Current mood:

stressed

Who: Jules and Farley
What: the latest round of stress finally causes Jules to snap
When: Late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning, while Lloyd is in surgery
Where: the "cell phone room" at the hospital
Rating: R for language
Status: Complete, closed



She'd almost convinced herself that she wasn't going to say anything, not right now anyway. There was enough emotional drama going on without her adding to the mess, even if she hadn't been the one to start that part anyway. But she saw the little room as they were headed back towards the waiting room marked "Cell Phone Room" and had already reached for both the door and Farley's arm, dragging him with her. It was one of those rare instances where her brain gave in and the emotion alone was in charge.

No turning back now, smart girl. Might as well send the night even further down the toilet. Jules pressed her back against the door, blocking the exit, ignoring the way the little lip around the window pressed into her shoulder blades. She had to get this out now that she'd made the move to do so.

"I know the truth, Farley. And I'm trying really hard not to hate you for what you've done."

"For what I've--?" All he could think about was what was going on in the other room. Lloyd and James and Emily... and Casey.

Oh, shit! Casey. "What do you know?" He was quite sure she only got half of the story. That there must have been something left out. And why was she doing this now, anyway? Wasn't it more important that they were here for Lloyd? "Look, I don't think this is a good time, Jules."

"It's never a good time, Farley. I've been trying to find a good time since Casey showed up on my doorstep a couple of weeks ago, drunk and bawling her eyes out. I've known her a long time and I've never, never seen her look so devastated."

She clutched at the loose fabric of the skirt she had been wearing since the previous morning, keeping her hands where she could trust them, "You were hurt because Lucas had left, I get that, but you used Casey! I don't think you realize just how much you hurt her that night. Jesus, you even called her his name! I go both ways and it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to figure out if I'm sleeping with a man or a woman."

Her narrowed eyes finally slid up to his, piercing blue in her barely repressed rage. She was generally the quiet, good natured one, avoiding confrontations. But people that messed with her loved ones, of which Casey was pretty much top of that list, and she would make sure her opinion was heard.

There really wasn't anything he could say. Farley had learned long ago that when people were angry past a certain point, whether they knew the truth or not, they couldn't hear anything beyond their own rage.

However, the hurt was plain on his own face. "You don't think I know that?" he said softly. "Casey is my best friend in the world. She always has been. She's saved my life twice now - including that night. You don't think I regret what I did every single day, and every single time I see her?"

He was practically crying inside from the pain, and his voice cracked as he spoke. "Another one of my friends is having his chest cut open as we're in here "chatting" and now..."

No, it was useless. She wouldn't listen. She didn't want to listen. Farley pushed past her and out into the waiting area again. The seat where he had been sitting next to Casey was empty and almost beckoning to him. As he looked over into her face, though, he knew he was undeserving of it. Not only had he hurt her to the point where she had gone to Jules and cried, to the point where she couldn't even tell him about it, but now she was pregnant with a child she didn't want.

Swallowing hard, Farley went over to her. "I'm sorry," he said softly, his voice cracking again.

Noah was still using his jacket as a blanket. He went over and fetched the keys out of the pocket. "Call me when he's out of surgery?" he asked to James.

Without saying another word, Farley left.

She hadn't tried to stop him as he left, opting instead to sink to the floor, back against the again closed door and curl her knees into her chest. She'd done a spectacular job of screwing that up, as she'd never intended to go off on him like that. A tense conversation she'd expected, but not to lose control of her temper. Jules had just wanted to make him see just what he'd done to Casey, what she wouldn't admit to him herself.

"Shit," her shoulders shook with a choked back sob, her eyes stinging with tears of frustration, mostly now at herself, "what the hell did I just do?"

Twenty minutes later, she emerged from the room, only after making sure it wasn't evident that she'd been in here yelling and crying. Didn't need to cause anyone else more stress tonight, shouldn't have done so in the first place. She picked a chair on the opposite side of the waiting room from everyone else and stared out the window, not that there was much to see. But at least this way, she wouldn't have to look at Casey quite yet, didn't think that she could.