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Rena Summers ([info]seekingserenity) wrote in [info]fairthreads,
@ 2009-11-01 16:21:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, !incomplete, character: abigail (hall) madison, character: serenity somerset, location: madison's pub, player: carrah, player: lisa

Who: Abby and Rena
Where: Madison's Pub
When: late afternoon
What: it's about time that they spoke to each other again

It was the usual time that Rena came into work at the pub but she was slightly distracted as she walked in. She had spent the morning collecting what writing supplies she had left to prepare for writing lessons with Molly and having a sense of purpose suited her. Not the type to sit idle, Rena thrived when she had things to accomplish.

Thus, she didn't notice Abby at first when she walked in, intent on getting her things put away and taking out her apron to begin working. It was then, once she was tying the apron on that she truly noticed Abby. She was busy, which was what gave Rena a chance to watch her unnoticed, and Rena realized that something was different about the woman.

Rena hadn't seen much of the innkeeper's wife since Thomas and Bridget had returned and she wasn't certain if it was because she was so wrapped up in her family or because she was actually avoiding Rena. Either way, Rena had tried not to think much of it, uncomfortable as she was with the many things that stood between them.

Abby didn't look upset, though, Rena noted. In fact, she looked happier than she remembered seeing her since she had married Thomas, if not more so. It hit Rena all at once when she saw the other woman's hand unconsciously gravitate toward a swell at her belly. She was pregnant. Rena had seen many a pregnant woman at the pub and, at this point, there was no hiding it.

Rena wasn't quite sure what to do. Obviously, no one had seen fit to inform her of this development, which was stinging, but then, she had made it a point to mind her own business since the terrifying experience of the kidnapping.

Well, there wasn't much to do at this point other than acknowledge the obvious. Rena took purposeful strides in Abby's direction and, not wanting to interrupt, she waited until the other woman acknowledged her presence.



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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-01 10:12 pm UTC (link)
It had been a strange sort of morning. Abby had awoken much later than usual, and she and Bridget had gone out for a walk, before she sat with Bridget to work with her on a few of her lessons. Her daughter had protested, but she had tried to made it fun, and Abby hadn't kept her any longer than it took for Bridget to finish, letting her daughter run off to play once it was done. From there she'd taken lunch with Thomas and then gone outside to visit with Gabby for a few minutes before the younger girl left; Abby had wished her well and made sure that she had enough food to take with her.

She'd hugged Gabby before she'd left, then Abigail made her way back inside. Her stomach was grumbling a little- it hadn't been that long since lunch, but she'd been eating a lot more lately. Zachary had been kind enough to humor her, fixing her extra plates and saving some of the leftovers that she particularly enjoyed. Abby made her way into the kitchen, fixing herself a plate and starting some tea. There was nobody else there for the moment, and Abby was content to let her mind wander. She didn't even notice when Rena entered the room, and it was some time before she even realized that she wasn't alone.

"I- hello, Rena," she said when she finally recognized the other woman's presence. "Er- would you like some tea?"

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-02 01:58 am UTC (link)
Rena didn't truly mean to startle Abby but she was glad to see that the other woman regained her composure quite quickly. She was surprised at the polite offer for tea though and she offered the other woman a smile. "Thank you," she replied simply, nodding her head.

The kind words had thrown her off, though, and it took a moment for Rena to get back her train of thought. "I just..." she began, realizing that though she was a bit hurt that she didn't have it in her to even verbally attack the other woman, not after all she had been through, not seeing her so happy. "I just wanted to congratulate you," she offered softly. It was a bit of a concession, at least for the moment, but at least it would give her the opportunity to acknowledge the pregnancy and perhaps open the communication waves. After all, Rena might not be a part of the family but the family had been the focal point of her life for the past ten years and she didn't want to just aside. At the same time, she also wanted Abby to know that she wasn't out to get her, either.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-02 02:13 am UTC (link)
"It's no trouble at all," she replied, finding another cup and saucer to add to her tray. "You're welcome to join me, if you have a few minutes to spare."

Abby was still a little unsure, still felt a little out of place next to Rena, and she felt as though she never quite knew what to expect from Rena. Yes, things had been- however tentatively- better between them, and with everything that had happened with Thomas and Bridget's kidnapping, Abby found that she again didn't quite know how to behave around the other woman at all.

Rena's words were a bit of a surprise, and Abby stilled where she was placing her things onto a tray so she could take them out to the dining room, hoping for a seat not too far from the fire. "Thank you," she said, her cheeks heating up in a rosy blush. "I- please don't think we were intentionally keeping it from you. I wasn't trying to keep it a secret, it's only that so much has happened and I was hesitant to say anything to anybody, until I was certain."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-02 02:38 am UTC (link)
"I am sure I could be spared a few moments," Rena assured Abby, knowing that she was, as she generally was, a bit earlier than she needed to be out of habit. The pub had been her entire life for so long that she spent the most of her time there, even when she wasn't working. As such, she could certainly spare a few moments for tea, particularly because she thought the small gesture was a big step in making things less awkward for her and Abby both. "I appreciate it."

Rena bit her lip when Abby blushed, seeming so uncertain. "I hope I didn't upset you, it wasn't my intention. I just..." she paused, trying to form her thought. "It's just I've seen many pregnant women here and it was plain that you were. I didn't want it there unsaid and awkward. I'm happy for you, really I am and I want you to know that."

With a soft sigh, Rena let her eyes fall to the floor. "Do you want me to help you with that?" she asked, indicating toward the tray. It seemed second nature, to be carrying around the trays, so she figured she might as well offer.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-02 03:01 am UTC (link)
"No, you haven't upset me at all. And- thank you, truly. I'm excited for the baby. And a bit scared, to be honest, but everything will work out as it should." Abby smoothed down her dress before reaching for the tray, picking it up and taking a moment to balance its contents.

"I think I have it, thank you. It isn't so very much. Besides-" her smile turned almost playful as she started toward the dining room- "it won't be long before I'll need help simply moving about the inn."

Abby carefully set the tray down on the table before sliding into a seat, sighing happily to be off her feet for a few minutes. "I only recently found out- the day Thomas and Bridget went missing. And I didn't want to say anything until they returned and I was far enough along that the risk of losing the baby was significantly lessened."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-02 03:27 am UTC (link)
"I am so glad," Rena replied with a surprising sincerity. It was true that in some ways she envied Abby finding happiness but she also understood a lot of what she had gone through and recognized that it had been a long road. Seeing her during the long days that Thomas and Bridget were gone had been reminder enough of that.

Rena followed Abby with a soft laugh. "True enough," she replied, resisting the urge to make a joke that Abby might find offensive. After all, she didn't know her all that well and she did seem sensitive at times. Instead, she would focus on the other woman's obvious joy.

Even the mention of the kidnapping made Rena's stomach turn at the memory. She was grateful for the moment to take a seat and refocus herself. "That must have been difficult," she finally commented, glancing up at Abby. "I can't say how relieved I am at their safe return. I suppose I should thank you." It had been so hard to stay behind, to let others search those long days and she had been certain that Abby had been upset with her for always staying behind, for not joining the search.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-02 03:45 am UTC (link)
Abby didn't like to bring it up either, but she didn't know how else to say how long she had known about the pregnancy. She began to fix the tea, pouring them each a cup and passing one to Rena so she could fix it as she preferred it. That done, she added milk and sugar to her own, then reached for a slice of bread so she could butter it.

"There is no need to thank me," she insisted, her voice quiet. "I only did what I had to. And once I learned of where they were- it wasn't anybody else's place to get them. The Madame wanted me, not anybody else." She set the bread down on her plate and picked up her tea for a sip. "I couldn't not get them back. I don't have a place here without them."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-02 04:56 am UTC (link)
"Thank you," Rena murmured as she accepted the tea and began to prepare it to her tastes, adding a bit of sugar and milk as well as she always did. Having the simple thing to focus on helped prevent her from feeling entirely awkward, at least.

Rena nodded at Abby's words, respecting the quiet resolution. Whatever had happened, it had certainly brought out the grit in Abby. Rena was impressed; it was a welcome change to see her showing tougher stuff. "I'm not sure I have a place here without them either," Rena admitted quietly, reflecting on her place at the pub through the years. "I couldn't even think of the possibility that they weren't coming back, it was too awful to even think. So I didn't. I just did."

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-02 03:26 pm UTC (link)
"You're welcome," Abby replied, setting her teacup back down and breaking off a piece of bread. She looked up at Rena's words, blinking in surprise.

"Of course you do. You've been here for years, and the other employees and guests know you as a fixture here. Nothing in your place here changed while they were gone, except for you taking on more responsibilities." While Abby, on the other hand, wasn't needed for anything. She could disappear without Thomas and Bridget around and nobody would even notice. She took a bite of her bread, falling quiet for a moment as she chewed. "They were going to come back, even if I had to trade myself for them. There was no doubt of that."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-02 05:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-02 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-02 06:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-02 06:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-03 10:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-04 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-04 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-05 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-05 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-06 02:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-07 01:30 am UTC

[info]thedreamer
2009-11-07 02:05 am UTC (link)
"Yes, I suppose it does," Abby replied, her voice quiet. "It goes on and all we can do is get by to see another day. Some get lucky-" Like Rena herself, or her sister- "and some aren't quite so well off..." She trailed off, losing herself in her thoughts as she brought her cup up for a sip. She looked back to Rena at her admission of underestimating her and blinked, surprised. "I couldn't not. He's- after my parents sent my sister and me away, he was the only good thing to happen to me. He- he showed me what- what it was to be treated well. To be loved. I'd do anything for him- and for Bridget, of course."

She had looked back down to her plate, picking up another piece of fruit. Abby looked up again in surprise at Rena's exclamation and her cheeks flushed. "I- I'm not quite sure what to say to that," she admitted, nibbling at her lower lip. "I'm- well, I can't help but be glad, sort of. I mean- I wish- I don't know. I used to wish that whatever happened, he'd have found happiness. I- I used to imagine that he'd found a nice lady and married her and been happy and had beautiful children, but at the same time- if he'd had that, then I'd- well, we wouldn't be in this place now, either..."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-07 02:25 am UTC (link)
Rena nodded, biting her lip as Abby alluded to the fact that others were not as lucky. It was true and Rena could appreciate that as there were many times during her journey that things could have gone very differently. She was very fortunate to even have survived her crazy escape she had made so many years ago. "Your parents sent you away?" she asked once what Abby said sunk in. Even her parents, who Rena was convinced didn't even really like her that much, wouldn't have just sent her away except into a marriage, where they knew she would be taken care of.

"It was meant to be you, the nice lady with the beautiful children," Rena replied with a soft laugh. "I can't even imagine myself in that position, to be honest with you." She shook her head, knowing that even still she wouldn't feel comfortable letting anyone close to her. With so much to hide, she would feel like she was lying.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-07 02:37 am UTC (link)
"We were all sick. There was..an epidemic, I suppose. Eleanore, my parents and I- we were all sick, but Eleanore and I got better. I suppose our parents knew that they weren't going to get better, so they sent us to some family in a nearby town. But the illness had gone through there, too, and they had already passed away." Abby lifted her shoulder in a shrug, shifting slightly in her seat. "We didn't have anywhere to go, so we started toward Greenville- I thought I'd be able to find work. I'd be a maid, or- well, I didn't really know what. I just knew that I had to take care of my sister. But things happened, and..Ellie and I were separated- she was found by the Ayorthian emissary, and I- well, I knocked on the wrong door."

Her blush deepened at Rena's words, and she couldn't help her faint smile. "I suppose it was," she admitted. "Even still- I wish I hadn't lost ten years."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-07 03:20 am UTC (link)
Rena was floored by Abby's story and all that she had gone through to get where she was. She had known that she had ended up in a bad place but the extent of it was devastating. Even after her own troubles, Rena had managed to get herself on her feet. It seemed like Abby never had that opportunity. "I'm sorry, I had no idea," Rena said simply, not the type to lay on the pity but she wanted to acknowledge all that Abby had been through. "I'm glad you've found your place." It was a sincere enough thought, though, despite its simplicity.

Ten years. It was strange how the same ten years that Abby wished she hadn't lost with her daughter were the same ten years that Rena had gained with her... and lost with her own sisters. She wondered, sometimes, what they looked like, how they had grown and changed. Would she know them? Would they even want anything to do with her? "It might be small consolation but she was taken care of and loved," she offered gently. "You're lucky she's so open-hearted. I have never seen her greet anything in the world with anything other hand sincere eagerness."

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-07 03:37 am UTC (link)
"I am, too," Abby admitted, setting her teacup back down on the table. She wasn't quite sure of what else to say- she hadn't shared the story for any sort of pity, but she supposed a part of her wanted Rena to understand where she came from a little better. "I'm not sure where I'd be without them."

"I have no doubt that she was," she replied, looking back to Rena. "Just seeing her now- seeing everybody here and all of you-" Abby still couldn't help but view everybody at the inn a little objectively, seeing herself more as an outsider than a part of it all- though that distance was slowly lessening- "there's no doubt that she's been taken care of and loved." Abby couldn't help but laugh softly, shaking her head. "I imagine she gets that open-heartedness from Thomas more than anybody."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-07 04:29 am UTC (link)
Rena smiled, nodding to acknowledge Abby's admission. "I feel like they have that affect on people," she commented with some amusement. It was likely that was why the pub had been so successful; everyone felt welcome and Thomas never turned away a person in need. Rena, and other staff members, had so much to be grateful for.

"She has a gift," Rena said without reservation. "I can only hope that whatever happens to her in her life that she holds on to that because there are not many people in the world like her." She couldn't help the affection she felt for the child and knowing that Abby, stepping in at this point, saw it too, made her feel grateful she had been there, a part of that world. "I know she is glad to have you in her life again."

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-07 05:06 am UTC (link)
"It does seem like it," she had to agree, smiling faintly. Her plate now mostly empty, Abby carefully began moving things back onto the tray- she'd carry it back to the kitchen later, after this conversation. She just didn't want to move yet.

"I think she will," she replied softly, sounding confident despite her soft voice. Her cheeks flushed faintly for a moment at Rena's words and she looked down before looking back to Rena. "I'm so glad to have her in my life, too. She's- she's wonderful. And- well, I'm happy that Thomas was able to take her from that place and give her a better life than I could have if she'd stayed."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-07 05:46 pm UTC (link)
Rena paused, reminded suddenly that she was still holding the teacup and had forgotten she was supposed to be drinking it. She lifted the teacup to her lips, taking a slow sip to consider her thoughts. She agreed with everything that Abby had said about Bridget, of course, but her thoughts were moving forward, from the past to the future. She set the cup down, regarding Abby.

"Have you told her about the baby yet?" she asked carefully. She wasn't sure how Abby and Thomas were handling things and she knew Abby had been worried to talk about it with her but Bridget might have been another thing entirely. In truth, Rena was curious how the girl would handle such a thing and even though she fully accepted her to welcome the change, given her personality, Bridget had always been the one and only child in the pub.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-07 05:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-07 07:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-07 08:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-08 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-08 11:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-09 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-09 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-11 04:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-11 06:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-11 11:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-12 12:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-12 01:55 am UTC

[info]thedreamer
2009-11-12 02:15 am UTC (link)
"I hope so." To be honest, Abby had a terrible fear of failing as a mother; she hadn't met Bridget until she was already practically grown. She had no idea what to do with a baby- there weren't very many who came through the brothel, after all. She hoped that Rena was right. Abby knew that she would probably need to ask Rena for help, but- well, she supposed it was one thing to need help, and another for Rena to see her fail when Rena had done so well with the daughter that she wasn't there for. Abby realized that she was losing herself in her thoughts again and she shook her head, looking back to Rena. "I suppose we'll see."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-12 03:13 am UTC (link)
"I believe it will be fine," Rena assured her. "But you do have some time to prepare. I'm sure Thomas will be a big help, and any of the mothers that come into the pub. And, of course, I'd be happy to help you if there is anything I could help with." Her tone was soft, perhaps a bit tentative; Rena didn't want Abby to feel cornered by her offer; she really didn't want to step on her toes. While Abby had the experience of carrying a child and pregnancy, she had a bit more practice in the area of childcare. All the same, Rena had resolved not to get involved unless she was wanted; there had been enough tension and discomfort between them already.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-12 05:47 am UTC (link)
"A few more months," Abby replied. She was almost halfway through her pregnancy, so far as she and the healers could tell, so there was some time. Abby only hoped that her preparations would be enough. She gave a soft snort of laughter, almost mocking herself as she shook her head. "Worse comes to worse, I'll leave and you and Thomas can raise the child."

Oh, that was too much. The words had slipped out unchecked and Abby bit her lower lip, rather wishing a hole would open in the ground beneath her and swallow her up. She began placing her things back on the tray as she stood, ready to take them back to the kitchens. "Forgive me, that was out of line. I should- I think maybe I've overexerted myself thus far today."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-13 03:04 am UTC (link)
Rena froze at Abby's words, unsure what to say or do. Her back stiffened and she opened her mouth as though to speak but no sound came out. She was so stunned that any witty retort she might have ordinarily snapped back with died, half-formed in her mind. She had thought they were doing better, she had thought they were making progress. Apparently, she had thought wrong.

But what could she even say? How could she say anything to that without making another fight, something she had promised herself she wouldn't do? And so she stared dumbfounded as Abby began putting her things away to go back to the kitchen.

"It's not like I did it to hurt you," she whispered, unable to trust her voice do anymore. Even if she would never admit it, Abby's words stung. "If it's what you want, I won't go near your baby." She had just wanted to help, she had wanted to show that she was sorry for how she had treated Abby when she arrived but, like everything else she did lately, it seemed like she had done it all wrong.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-13 03:29 am UTC (link)
"I know you didn't. How could you have? I was dead, then." Abby's own voice was quiet as she lifted the tray. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that." A part of her wished she could say that she didn't mean it, but she couldn't truthfully say as much. "It's only-"

She hesitated for the briefest of seconds before her words began to tumble out. "It bothers me. It shouldn't, but it does. It bothers me that you've been here and I wasn't. You've had everything I wanted and that's selfish and foolish because there's nothing to be done about it, but it bothers me. You saw her first steps, helped her with her first lessons, heard her first words. I don't know the first thing about her infancy except what I've been told. I don't know the first thing about raising a child and all I can think is that you'll be there, watching me, ready to point out everything I do wrong and I hate that I think that and I hate what has happened and I just- I just feel like I'm not good for anything and I'm afraid and I just- I don't know-"

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-13 03:53 am UTC (link)
Rena let her gaze fall to her lap. She wasn't the type to fidget or fuss but the discomfort of the moment made her want to pick at the folds of her skirt, to find something to occupy her fingers, to keep her from trembling. She had to force herself to look up again, to meet Abby's eyes, to face whatever it was that the other woman held against her. It was strange; not much frightened Rena but something about Abby, perhaps it was because she just stepped into this life so quickly, made Rena nervous.

"But she's your child. Yours and Thomas's. I can't take that away from you, nor would I want to. Any offer I made was to help, and that is all I've ever wished to do," Rena insisted quietly. It was true that she had come to love Bridget but she had never imagined herself to be her mother. A sister, an aunt, perhaps, but mother? She could hardly imagine herself a mother. "And you can learn, if you want to, you will. If I could learn..." Rena trailed off, finding herself choked up. It might have seemed that she was referring to the fact that she'd learned to care for a baby without having one herself but it wasn't that. It was the fact that she'd learned to work, to survive on her own, take care of herself, to make a living. All of those things, she had been forced to learn or she wouldn't survive. And there was no doubt she'd probably been the worst employee the pub ever had in her early days. Rena had been born and raised to luxury, expecting to be pampered for all her days, not work each day for a living. While she knew her own experience didn't compare to Abby's, she knew what it was like to feel completely out of her league, to flounder and struggle to survive.

But she couldn't talk about that, not to anyone, and certainly not Abby. "You'll be as good at it as you want to be, as you'll allow yourself to be," she finally uttered, a bit flustered and unsure what else to say.

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[info]thedreamer
2009-11-13 04:11 am UTC (link)
"She is, though I likely don't deserve her." Oh, it was so easy to fall into the old habits of self doubt. Abby took a careful breath. "Maybe I can. Maybe I will. And maybe I won't. I don't know."

"It's not-" She paused again, taking a moment to consider her words. "I thought we could be friends, once. Before. And that isn't to say that we can't be, eventually. It isn't you, really, that I'm upset with, I just- it's this whole situation, and I don't know how to get over not being here. And it's easy, I suppose, to focus on you because I feel like it's a constant comparison- you with her then, and me with her now. Or you with her then and- soon- me and this one."

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[info]seekingserenity
2009-11-13 04:24 am UTC (link)
What could Rena even say to that? If Abby doubted herself so entirely and completely, she would have a hard time being successful but Rena knew enough to know that she was the last person Abby wanted to hear that from. Or anything, for that matter, Rena considered, taking a deep breath.

"I don't understand what it is you expect me to do," Rena replied helplessly. "I can't give you back those years, I can't take away what I've done." But she could go away, she could remove that reminder that Abby hated so much. The thought made her go unexpectedly cold and something like fear flooded her. What if Abby did ask her to leave? What could she do? How could she stay if she asked that of her and yet... how could she leave this place that had become a home to her?

Rena couldn't help but feel a bit of resentment toward the situation as well, a bit of sharp, bitter pain that she could be so hated for doing what she thought was right.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-13 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-13 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thedreamer, 2009-11-13 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seekingserenity, 2009-11-13 05:47 am UTC


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