InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I don't believe in you...."

Belle (loves_abeast) wrote in expresslogs,
@ 2012-08-01 22:06:00

Entry tags:

{belle, {the huntsman

Who: Belle and Huntsman
What: Finally getting off the train
When: Wednesday afternoon
Ratings/warnings: Will update if necessary
Status: Closed/ongoing

Belle had hesitated once people started reporting about the creatures outside. She might have been brave, but even she would admit to taking pause when people began speaking of the undead swarming at this stop. But she'd been on the train for six weeks now, and the open air car just was not cutting it anymore. She needed to feel earth beneath her feet.

Had Rum not been there, she definitely would have gone out alone. She didn't want to be a problem for anyone else, not when those with skills were needed for supply runs. But he was here, and she really didn't like worrying him so, because she knew well enough what it was like to worry for the person you loved. So she'd messaged the Huntsman, because she trusted him and knew he needed out as much if not more than she did.

Rum was out, so she scribbled a quick note telling him she was stepping out, that she would not be alone and would be back soon, and--after a couple seconds hesitation--that she loved him. She placed it on his pillow, then stepped out to wait in front of the door for the Huntsman, thankful once more that she had trousers and wouldn't be stuck tramping around in heavy skirts.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-03 04:06 am UTC (link)

Looking around him, he saw nothing that required immediate action, but nonetheless, his alert did not lessen as he walked with her, offering her his arm if she would take it. He wished to have her as close as possible, so that nothing could sneak up on her and endanger them both.

"I have never had a human family; such things are beyond me. But I realize that most people need that bond to feel as if their lives have been complete. I suppose I have my wolves, and that is something. But I don't think I have the same needs as other...people."

He stopped for a moment, thinking he heard something, before starting again.

"Was there something you wished to find here? Or did you simply want some fresh air?"

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loves_abeast
2012-08-03 04:17 am UTC (link)

Belle certainly couldn't understand not needing people, after all she'd given up everything for her family and friends. Had given them up because of love.

But she wasn't surprised or disturbed the Huntsman's ways, either. As he said, he had Wolf, who seemed like something close to family. She wanted to tell him something about how the way he spoke of this woman certainly sounded like the needs of other people, but she couldn't quite find the words.

So she shook her head, gazing out absently. "No. I just needed to feel the earth properly again. That was--at our last stop, I spent nearly all my time outdoors, long past sunset usually. I just..." she bit her lip. "I think that's something I took for granted, before. Just being able to go outside. Even at his castle I had weeds to tear back and things of that nature while he was away, if I wished for air, so I suppose it didn't seem so important."

She nearly smirked, "It's funny how important something becomes, when you can't have it."

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-03 03:09 pm UTC (link)

"Yes," he said softly, his voice showing that his mind was going to darker places. "Especially when that thing you can't have is your freedom. Your very right to do what you want to do, to control your own actions. This train...it seems to take that autonomy from us sometimes."

But, of course, not like Regina had.

He shook the thought from his mind, turning to her with a hint of a smile.

"There is nothing like the sunshine, is there? The smell of the outdoors? I have always loved the woods. Even when she had taken my identity from me, I was always more comfortable outside than in."

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loves_abeast
2012-08-03 09:34 pm UTC (link)

Belle actually grinned at that,
"Yes. I may not have known the forests well, myself, but I certainly was beginning to feel very...constrained."

She shook her head slightly, as she tried to comprehend this strange landscape. "...I've thought, a little, about--staying, at a better stop. If he weren't here I would, but he can't. He's things to do. So..." she shrugged, snorting slightly. "It's strange. I'd fight anyone else for my freedom--I have--and I've walked away from him before when things..." she bit her lip against that particular memory, knowing she would do it again if he chose his power over her but only then.

"...but I'd take the chance on whatever the train might do rather than part ways with him, if I've any say it at all."

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-04 11:38 am UTC (link)

He smiled grimly at her words about Gold choosing his power over her, wondering a bit cynically if anyone loved enough to do that. Power, it seemed, was far more seductive than even gold and riches. Perhaps he did not have the faith in humanity she had.

"I hope you never have to make that choice," he said diplomatically, although he could not say he had utter faith in Gold's morality.

His footsteps were practically silent as they walked along the soft grass, and while on high alert for the monsters that he knew from reports must be nearby, other parts of him were more relaxed than they had been since he'd discovered his true identity before arriving on the train.

"Lady Belle," he said softly. "I know very little of humans, and even less of women, but I worry about Emma. She seems so very sad sometimes, willing to close herself off permanently to avoid getting hurt. And...I don't know what to do - other than what I have already done - to convince her that she can trust me."

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loves_abeast
2012-08-04 11:57 am UTC (link)

"Well, women truly aren't all that different from men, no matter what some might tell you," Belle said with a wry smile. "But I know what you mean."

She was quiet as well for a moment, thinking. Trying to figure how, exactly, she'd found her way into Rum's heart. It seemed now that she'd always been there. That it was just fact. But she knew quite well that wasn't the way of things. It had taken months, really, for them to be friends and then...

I think you were lonely.

"You stay," she said, a little abruptly but still soft. She nearly laughed, "Not that it's any small task with the train. But--you stay with her. No matter what happens. Not because of any vow or promise or any of that sort of rubbish. You stay because...you want to. Because she--makes you laugh or smile or--that just having her in your life makes it better."

She inhaled sharply, against the memory of harsher words and a command she wished she'd not obeyed. "She'll probably try and force you out, when she's at her lowest or meanest. Don't let her. If she sends you away, come back. Show her that even when she's...beastly towards you that she matters. That no matter what terrible thing she might say or do, she's still someone who's special and nothing could change that."

Belle blinked a little, surprised to find her eyes wet. She smiled, though, turning to him. "Or, that's what's worked for me anyway, but I hadn't the slightest idea what I was doing. Leapt before I looked and--hoped for the best, I suppose. Not certain I actually got it to be quite fair, but..." she shrugged.

"...it's hardly a fair comparison, but I know how difficult it is to care for someone who wants to keep people out. But it's worth all the work in the end."

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	cryoverwildlife 2012-08-05 02:19 am UTC (link)
	His face fell slightly at that; this simple thing that he had already failed so badly. "Stay," he said softly, then ran a hand through his hair, breaking eye contact with her. "What if..." Well, there was no way around it now. "What do you do if you already...in her world...died in her arms?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loves_abeast
2012-08-05 10:27 am UTC (link)

Belle felt her jaw drop, but she pulled it back up quickly. She'd not thought of that. She'd thought of plenty of other things--being jailed by the Queen forever, never being found, him always thinking her dead. But not that. Out of reflex, her fingers nearly went to reach for his shoulder--but, no. That might have worked when Rum was wracked with guilt, but not him. Not with her, anyway.

She took a deep breath, trying to keep too much of her pain for the Huntsman and the woman he loved and her anger at the queen from pouring out.

"I suppose," she said, voice measured, "that you try all the harder to make the time here count. I know better than to say you shouldn't think about it. It's not something that can just be swept under a rug, for either of you. But you shouldn't let what happened, what could happen, overshadow any good moments you have."

She bit her lip, trying to think of something better to say. But really, as extraordinary as her circumstances might have seen, her experiences really were so limited. She only knew her own love, and each love was unique. But there were some common threads, she supposed, running through all of them. She thought about what had made her fall for Rum, really. Moments when he'd hand her a book or tell her a tale while he spun. Or now, when he brushed her hair and held her in the dark. "Find small things that make her happy," she said, thoughtfully.

"I don't know her well enough to suggest anything, but--even if it's just a bad joke that for some reason always make her laugh," Belle smiled then, "They might not seem like much at the time, but they'll be the things she remembers later, when she's at her lowest."

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-05 02:10 pm UTC (link)

He held her, holding her words in his mind for a moment, thinking them over. He wasn't going to cast them aside, because they did make sense, even if he didn't know exactly how to go about doing what she suggested.

For a moment, that night, it had seemed to him as if Emma had trusted him. As if she had finally let down her walls and given in to her feelings. For one moment, and then Regina had taken it away. As she had always taken everything away. And now...he could not return, and she had to return. Was there even any point in trying?

"Thank you," he said softly, despite the sadness that tinged his words. "You are kind, and good Lady Belle."

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