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Entry tags:	peter, remus

004: Project Get Peter a Girl Commences
 



Peter leaned into the mirror, fussing with the collar of his robe. What was he thinking, letting Remus continue with this crazy scheme? Peter didn't want to go out with a girl. He wanted to go out with a bloke. Well, honestly, he wasn't sure if that was the right word. He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew it wasn't a girl.

He'd spent the past week snapping at James every time he bloody mentioned Evans, and he knew the others had noticed and were starting to wonder what was wrong with him. He'd heard Remus saying something behind his back, yesterday, in an apologetic tone, but he had no idea what excuse Moony had given.

"This is insane," Peter muttered.

"Well, you may be mad, but at least you've kept your looks," the mirror said back. Peter glared at it.

Remus propped himself up in bed, pushing onto his forearms, to peer across the room at Peter. He'd been acting strangely lately. Remus had stayed behind in bed late this morning in hopes of catching Peter alone to find out why, and it had worked wonderfully. "You know, they say talking to yourself is actually a sign of intelligence," he said lightly, grinning at the back of Peter's head and folding the book he'd been reading on his stomach.

Peter jumped, then turned, giving Remus a baleful look. Peter had forgotten he was still here, he'd been so quiet. "I suppose that's a good sign," he muttered. "What're you doing still in bed?"

"Runes," Remus replied, indicating the book that was resting on him. "Care to join me?" A momentary panic flooded Remus. "In studying, not in bed, I mean." He flushed.

Peter eyed him for a moment, then grinned. "Oh, you're not propositioning me? Pity, I thought you were finally going to act on your crush." He went over and climbed onto Remus' bed, because they did that all the time, there was nowhere else to sit in their dormitory, after all. Though it was interesting that Remus had flushed after he said that.

For that matter, Peter's face was feeling a bit warm, too.

Remus swallowed, then shifted back a bit to make room. "Wouldn't you be lucky," he teased, even if his voice was a little off. "Have you done the reading we're supposed to have done?" he asked quickly, shifting again.

Peter laughed, the odd thought crossing his mind that he would be lucky, if that were true. "Not all of it," he said. "I'm stuck in the section on Thurisaz, I think. Or the one after." He shook his head. "What was I thinking, to take that class? Oh, I remember, I was thinking, 'Poor Moony, he'll be alone if I don't take it with him. I'll take it to keep him company.'" He shook his head. "More the fool I."

Remus laughed, the tension he'd been feeling just then melting immediately. "Oh, well thanks ever so much for taking pity on me." He lay back, nudging Peter a bit before holding the book so they could both read from it. "I suppose I'm indebted now. I must help you pass."

Snickering, Peter nudged him back and then peered over his shoulder. "Yes, that's right, you owe me." Except instead of reading, he found himself distracted by the warmth he could feel from being so close to Remus. He tried to ignore it, but after only a few minutes, he couldn't take the distraction; he slumped back against the headboard. "I hate doing homework on Saturdays."

Remus looked up at Peter from where he was lying and grinned. "You hate doing homework. Full stop." He grinned and pushed himself up, sitting crosslegged and facing Peter. "All right then, it can wait. So... project two then?"

"Well, true," Peter admitted, then studied Remus' face. "Project two?" He didn't like the sound of that.

Remus grinned brightly. "We have to pick a girl," he said, his eyes dancing mischievously.

"Oh my God," Peter said, and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

Peter was adorable when he was nervous. Remus barely had time to register that thought, or process it at all, before he burst into laughter. He crawled forward and turned in the bed to sit next to Peter, leaning a little to place his hand on Peter's arm, fingertips on Peter's stomach. It was a gesture that was supposed to be comforting, and Remus forced aside the thought that he'd like to slide his entire hand over Peter's middle. "It's a girl. Not the guillotine."

Peter's breath caught in his throat as he registered the light touch. He opened his eyes and watched Remus sceptically. "Right. And why aren't you finding one for yourself, then?" He couldn't quite fight down the smile that rose to his lips, though. Remus was so earnest and, well, endearing.

Remus shrugged. "I told you I don't think dating's for me," he said dismissively, then tried to barrel through his response by immediately jumping into questions. "So, what do you like? Anything in particular? Any particular girl caught your eye?"

"No, no particular girls. What do you mean what do I like?" Boys, he thought, wishing he had the stones to say that.

Remus shrugged. "Hair colour? Eye colour?" If he were talking to Sirius, he'd have asked about breast size, too.

"Er." Peter sighed. "Brown hair, I guess. Eyes....mm, hazel. Green's all right. I don't know, Remus, I..." He shrugged. "Sure. Brown hair, hazel eyes."

Remus nodded. "Okay. That's a start. Um. What about... do you want someone really outgoing? Or maybe more reserved?"

Peter frowned, thinking. "Well, someone outgoing would--" be like dating Sirius-- "I think I'd feel, um, overwhelmed. But someone reserved..." He trailed off, thinking about that. Remus was more reserved. Peter felt comfortable around Remus; he felt like he could be himself around Remus. "Yes, someone more reserved."

Remus bit his lip and eyed Peter for a moment, trying to imagine him with this mystery brunette, but the image wouldn't quite form. He'd have to start paying more attention to the girls in their year for a bit. "It's a pity I don't have the right bits," he teased, then shrugged it off, pulling his book open again. "Right then, Thurisaz..."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"You're sure this Janet really wants to do this?" Peter asked, struggling with his tie. First Hogsmeade weekend of the year and he had a date when James didn't. The entire world had gone mad. Sirius and James had invited Peter to walk down to Hogsmeade with him and been astonished that he was meeting Janet Merrow by the main entrance so they could walk down together. I have a date with a Hufflepuff girl.

He tugged at his tie again and tried not to grimace.

"Of course, I'm sure," Remus said. He was glad James and Sirius had left them behind in the dormitory. He had expected them to tease Peter about his date, and had given James a stern look Peter hadn't seen when he seemed about ready to lay it on thick.

None of the girls Remus had spoken too seemed particularly interested in Peter. Mostly, they didn't seem to think much on Peter at all, but Remus chalked that up to who they were best mates with. It was hard to shine at all when you were always flanking James and Sirius... though a couple of the girls seemed to take a keen interest in Remus when he'd started talking. Which had sent Remus straight into abortive mode.

Janet was a really sweet girl, though, maybe even a little shy. Remus had partnered her a few times in Herbology when Peter had been sick. She had brown hair and brown eyes (honestly, hazel was a little specific, wasn't it?), and Remus was certain if she got to see Peter away from his friends, she would see what a genuine and sweet, adorable man he was.

Oh. Remus ignored the funny tug in his chest before it even started this time. He was getting better at that lately.

"Here, let me," Remus said after watching Peter fiddle with his tie for entirely too long, and then proceeded not to get very much done with it himself. These things were hard to put on someone else, all backwards. He could feel the heat of Peter's throat against the backs of his knuckles. "Just... be yourself and it will be fine, I promise. And if it doesn't work out, we can just start again."

Peter laughed, but it was forced. "You promise it'll be fine, but if it doesn't work out, we'll start again. So much confidence there." He let Remus fuss with his tie for a while, then sighed and reached up, covering Remus' hands with his own and then pulling them away. "Look, I just won't wear it," he said, untying it.

"All a lot of fuss for no reason, I'm sure," he muttered. Really, this wasn't a good idea. He was leading Janet on, making her think he was interested in this, when he knew he wanted a bloke and was beginning to think he wanted a specific bloke. He sighed and looked at Remus, wishing he had more courage.

"You know what I meant." Remus pursed his lips when Peter pulled his hands away and contemplated the tie some more. "No, no, I know how to do this. It's just awkward..." Remus was almost talking to himself now, having taken the tie in his fingers again as soon as Peter's hands moved away. He frowned at it for a long moment, and then a grin broke across his face. He looked up at Peter and then slipped around behind him. Before Peter could protest, Remus' arms were over his shoulders, pressed up against Peter from behind as he tried to peer down at his hands from over Peter's shoulder.

Remus almost immediately regretted doing it, though he slowly worked Peter's tie anyway. It was easier to do when you looked at it the way you would look at a tie if you put it on yourself, but the heat from Peter's body against him was unnerving and Peter's hair was tickling his nose as he breathed against Peter's neck. He had the impulse to pull Peter closer and forget the tie, but he didn't.

Oh, Merlin. Peter held his breath for a moment when Remus' arms slipped around him. He found himself unconsciously leaning back a little, and told himself it was just to make it easier for Remus to fix his tie. The urge to lean against Remus, to lean his head back, though, that wasn't about his tie at all. Peter chewed the inside of his cheek and stared up at the ceiling.

Remus finished tying it and felt reluctant to pull away. He glanced at the mirror in front of Peter, his eyes fixing for a moment on the bit of neck that Remus could have easily reached with his tongue, until the mirror promptly interrupted his thoughts.
"Well, aren't you two the very picture of--"

"Shut up," Remus snapped, cutting it off, and pulled away from Peter quickly.

Startled, Peter jumped a little, then looked at Remus in the mirror. He wondered if the mirror had meant to say what he suspected--and if Remus had suspected the same thing. That was disheartening, if Remus' reaction was so violent. He rarely saw Remus annoyed, and Remus just didn't snap like that. Peter sighed.

Merlin, he really didn't want to do this.

Remus sighed, suddenly feeling a little awkward and on edge. The last thing he needed was for Peter to think of him differently, for Peter to think every time Remus touched him meant something. Lately though, it had. It was Very Bad. He didn't expect he could have anything more with Peter, so he wasn't about to ruin it by doing anything stupid and possibly winding up with less if Peter decided he was a pervert for what he wanted.

"Sorry. Must be... the full," he said, using the excuse even if that was still a full week away. On rare occasions, when the moon was closer to the earth's surface, Remus felt it sooner than usual.

Peter eyed him for a moment, then shrugged. "If you say so." He turned his attention back to his on reflection, brushed his hands through his hair, and sighed. "Right. I suppose I'll be late if I put this off much longer."

Peter didn't look or sound like he believed Remus. Remus didn't blame him, considering he almost never used that as an excuse for anything. He gave Peter an awkward look, then reached up gingerly to play with Peter's hair a bit to get it just so for his date, just right that if it was Remus going out with Peter instead of Janet, Peter wouldn't get out of the date without getting snogged.

He hoped she would. If she did and Peter liked it, maybe Remus could force himself to stop thinking about how he suddenly really didn't want Peter to go out with her anymore. "Yeah. Just relax and it'll be fine."

Peter huffed in laughter and swatted playfully at Remus' hands. "All right, quit fussing then, Mum," he teased. Then his expression sobered a little. No matter how much he hated this, he couldn't deny that Remus had done this because of their friendship. "Thanks, Moony," he said quietly.

Then he headed out of Gryffindor Tower and to main entrance. He felt bad, leaving Remus by himself there, despite the fact that Remus had assured him several times that he didn't want to go. Still, Peter's thoughts lingered on Remus as he put his hands in his trouser pockets and leaned against the wall, waiting for Janet to show up.

When she did, he was grateful he'd worn a tie; she was in a skirt. She had her hair tied back, and she smiled at him shyly, and they walked to Hogsmeade with a group of her friends about twenty feet behind them. He felt self-conscious the entire way, and only when he suggested they go to Madam Puddifoot's did they lose their followers.

Thereafter followed the longest forty-five minutes of Peter's life. He and Janet sat in the frilly tearoom making stilted conversation over tea and cucumber sandwiches and scones, and he kept wishing he were back in the common room with Remus. She wasn't boring, but she also wasn't talkative, which meant Peter had to keep coming up with topics for conversation. After they'd exhausted Quidditch, the House Cup, the classes they had in common (with an emphasis on Herbology since they had it together), and the upcoming Halloween Feast, an uncomfortable silence fell over their table. Finally he suggested they look for her friends, whereupon she brightened and said she'd arranged to meet them at Honeyduke's in an hour, anyway, so he walked her to Honeyduke's. They said goodbye while standing several feet apart as her friends watched and giggled, and then she went inside.

Peter didn't feel as if he could go inside while she was there; he'd feel strange, imagining she and her friends were talking about him. So he went down to the bookstore, then he bought himself two new quills, and then he finally stopped at Honeyduke's again to buy some sweets. While he was there he picked up a large bar of Remus' favourite, telling himself he was just being nice. Finally he headed back up to the castle.

Remus knew he was being lazy, but he didn't really feel like doing anything else after Peter left. He was glad he hadn't been required as a Prefect to go to Hogsmeade. There were usually plenty of Prefects who wanted to go, plus the Head Girl and Boy, so he was all right to stay behind. He'd promptly changed back into his pyjamas when the dorm was empty, and curled up in bed under the covers with a book of poetry, telling himself it was ridiculous to mope.

By the time Peter came back, he'd already managed a couple of small naps and his hair was messy. His book was half closed around his thumb and he peered over the covers at Peter with a sheepish grin. "So?" he asked, clearly trying to refocus after his lazy day alone.

Peter surveyed him from the doorway for a moment, then shook his head, laughing. He dropped his carrier bags on his bed, then held the chocolate out to Remus.

"Have you been revising or sleeping?" he asked, amused. It was very nice to be back.

"Mmph, I wasn't sleeping, I was just deep in thought," Remus replied, grinning as he took the offered chocolate. He pushed himself up a bit to lean back against the headboard, covers and clothes crumpled around him, and immediately opened the wrapper. "Thanks, Pete." He held it out once opened to offer Peter the first bite.

Peter shook his head. "It's for you," he said, leaning against one of the bedposts and watching Remus. He was ridiculously adorable like this, and very nice to come back to. It felt cozy and comfortable, and Peter suddenly wanted to change into his pyjamas and drag a blanket over to settle in on Remus' bed.

No, that wasn't true. All right, he could admit the truth to himself, even if he would never speak it aloud. He wanted to put his pyjamas on and crawl into Remus' bed next to him.

"Thanks," Remus said, then broke off a piece, popping it into his mouth. Peter always remembered he preferred dark chocolate, which made him smile, seeing as how the others seemed to forget those little details. He let it melt on his tongue a bit, then drew a breath and looked over at Peter. "So. Are you going to tell me how it went or not? I may have dropped divination, but I still have that useless scrying bowl. Don't make me have to divine the answer."

Peter sighed and pushed his shoes off, then climbed up on Remus' bed. It wasn't pyjamas and under the covers, but it would do. He pulled his knees up and stared at his Gryffindor-coloured socks. "It went fine. We were polite to each other. I bought her tea and sandwiches and we spent twenty-five minutes talking to each other and twenty minutes in between not talking to each other." He shrugged. "I think we were both relieved when I walked her back to meet her friends."

"Oh," Remus said, genuinely disappointed. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed because Peter didn't have a good time, or because if Peter had stayed here it sounded like they both would have had more fun. Or at least been more comfortable, in any case. "Well, there are other girls," he heard himself say, in spite of not wanting to have to send Peter away again like he had earlier in the afternoon.

With a shrug, Peter started loosening his tie. This would be the time to tell Remus he didn't want any other girls. This would be the time to tell Remus he didn't want a girl at all. "Don't worry about it," he said instead, hating himself.

Remus re-wrapped he chocolate and placed it on his nightstand along with the book that had been buried under the covers, than he settled down in bed again, curling up on his side and snuggling the covers up under his chin. "I do worry about it. I want my friends to be happy." And it bothers me to know you think so little of yourself.

Peter sighed. "Look, I'm happy, all right? I don't need a bird to be happy, unlike some people I can think of." He glanced at James' bed meaningfully. He grinned and stretched his legs out. "Got you, haven't I? Who needs a girl when I've got my mates? And anyway, Janet's nice enough, I just didn't have a good time. I'd've rather been with you, anyway." He shrugged and tried to ignore the little kick in his stomach when he said that. It was so very true.

Remus swallowed, because he couldn't really explain that he didn't think he could make Peter feel as special as he deserved to feel, or at least he'd never get the opportunity. "I'd've rather you been here," he said quietly, but his voice sounded a little defeated.

Frowning, Peter looked at Remus for a moment. "Something wrong, Moony?" His voice was low, and he thought about sprawling out on his stomach to get a little closer, but then decided against it. Remus might not like it.

"No, not really." Remus sighed, wishing he could say what he wanted to say. "Just a waste, is all."

"A waste?" Peter grinned. "Of what? My time? My money? Your effort?" He snickered. "Oh, wait, sorry, Janet's time, I suppose." He did lie down then, peering up at Remus. "Look, it was a nice idea. And I appreciate you were trying to do something to make me happy." Oh, Merlin, he really ought to tell Remus the truth. He was starting to feel very guilty about keeping this secret.

"All of the above," Remus returned, then nudged Peter gently, enjoying that they were so close in spite of himself. "Just... anyone would be lucky," he finished lamely.

"Lucky?" Peter said, confused. "Look, Remus, you're more fun than some stupid girl, all right?" He grinned. "And anyway, you're going to help me pass Ancient Runes."

"I suppose so." Remus wasn't sure exactly why he was so gloomy, except that he now had all these extra thoughts about his friend in his head and his only plan for getting rid of them was dashed. And, well, Peter hadn't really understood what he'd meant. "Shall we start again then? Only I feel like taking another cat nap," he said, his lips quirking a little.

Peter laughed. "Lazy," he teased, and pulled his tie off entirely. He rolled it up and threw it in the direction of his bed, then yawned. "Look, you've got me yawning," he complained. not particularly caring except that he really ought to get up before they both fell asleep on Remus' bed. He signed and closed his eyes for a moment. Not that he would mind. Remus, I'm queer. That wouldn't be so difficult. Remus, I fancy blokes. There, see, he could say that. Remus, I don't like girls, I fancy you. His eyes opened again. No, he couldn't say that. What if Remus...didn't take it well? He'd lose their friendship, too.

Remus closed his eyes, squashing the impulse to settle closer to Peter, to touch him. "It was all part of my evil scheme, you see," he said through a yawn of his own. If he could fall asleep quickly, maybe he wouldn't wrap his hand around Peter's arm.

"Wretch," Peter muttered. "I'm not moving." He shifted a little, getting more comfortable. His eyelids were getting heavy. He yawned again, then smiled. "Rat nap for me."