InsaneJournal

Because Stephen was normally such a pleasant and easy to deal with person, the fact that he'd been fuming all day over what had been written about his girlfriend and his family in the Daily Prophet was a bad sign. He was overprotective of them all, constantly thinking of Padma's happiness and of her reputation (especially after that nasty conversation he'd had with Etienne), of his mother's well-being and his sister's safety, of his father's health and whether or not the man would recover well enough to hold down another job one day. He didn't like being the center of attention and didn't like being part of any sort of gossip, but he could have handled it if the gossip had been about him and him alone. To bring up his family in such a negative way, well... that was just the last straw. His boss had managed to calm him down enough for Stephen to get back to work and not let his emotions get in the way, but once Stephen was back in the quiet of their flat, all of that calm went right out the window.

Stephen had barely said a word since getting home. He didn't trust himself not to snap, and he didn't want to snap at Padma. It wasn't her fault, after all. He didn't want to give her another reason to be stressed out, because he knew she was probably just as bothered by what was said in the Prophet as he was. He felt guilty enough already. He knew that he should try to calm down and act normal, but it wasn't easy to ignore the words and jabs at his loved ones.

He pulled out a few take-out menus and studied them for a few minutes. He didn't feel like cooking, didn't think Padma would feel up to it either. "Want anything to drink?" he asked, pulling out a bottle of wine. He should, at the very least, try to relax, rather than thinking the situation over and over and over. Maybe if they had a few drinks, a nice dinner and settled down to read (or do ... other things) after, he'd be able to forget about it.

Padma would swear that she'd read the same four words in her book over and over again. It wasn't that Seamus's book was uninteresting, but it was the type of book one needed to be able to focus on or lose cohesion. Since her decision to step down and the countdown until the next day, she'd been astonished not to find someone calling for her head in the papers.

Until, of course, that morning. Sascha had handed her the paper, folded open to the page and told her not to get overly excitable. Etienne hadn't been foolish enough to say anything to her, but she'd wanted to smack the condescending smirk off his face (even if he had rearranged his expression within a split second). Part of her spent the rest of the day wondering if these opponents had gotten word of her relationship with Stephen because of Etienne, if he'd broken their agreement. If he had, there would be hell to pay.

She didn't really care that her name was being drug through the mud. She'd been called worse by protesters against the Werewolf Sanctuary (among them beast-fucker was her favourite; she'd resisted the immature urge to ask if the woman had never dated a man before). What bothered her most was that they brought up Stephen's father. If he was reading the Prophet, he might rethink getting the treatment and potions he needed not to lose his mind or leave the Sanctuary (and therefore destroy Stephen. Again.) Padma spent the early evening tip-toeing around the flat, and if she didn't believe in auras and the like, she might now. She could almost see the anger and tension roiling around Stephen as he shuffled around.

"I think I have some firewhiskey in the cupboard," she said tentatively. She had a feeling they both needed something a little stronger than wine.

"Hmm." Stephen had been trying to stay away from that temptation, not knowing what Padma would think of it, but once she mentioned it... firewhiskey did sound better. He put the bottle of wine back and pulled out the firewhiskey instead, along with two glasses. He glanced up, gesturing to the glasses, silently asking her if she wanted some too. "I don't feel like cooking tonight," he told her as he poured his glass, "so I was thinking we could get take-away and just stay in. I don't feel like going out..." He didn't want to explain why not. It was complicated. It felt like most people knew how ridiculous the comments in the paper had been, but Stephen didn't want to face any odd or questioning looks from anyone who doubted Padma's abilities.

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes and letting his shoulders sag. He was so tired of being angry and frustrated, and if there was anyone with whom he should be able to let down his guard, it was Padma. "I'm sorry. It's been a long day."

Padma nodded, tilting her head a little toward the glasses. She definitely needed it, and she wasn't sure if she felt better now that he was talking or if he'd finally snapped. But then his expression drooped, and she went into instant worry-mode.

She picked herself up off the chair and sat down on the couch next to Stephen. With her arms around his chest, Padma propped her chin up on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Stephen." Frowning, she sighed. "If there's anything I can do..."

Leave it to Padma to worry about him when everything written in the paper was about her so-called obsession and lack of bias. "Why are you apologising?" he asked gently, honestly curious. "It's not your fault." Stephen turned his head to give her a light kiss. Now that he'd finally opened his mouth and said something that hinted at the emotions behind his actions, he felt somewhat relieved - like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders just a little bit, even though he hadn't really said a thing yet. Maybe it would be easier to just get it off his chest, rather than stewing over it for the rest of the evening. "It just makes me so mad," he blurted out. He wanted to blame Etienne for it, but that was only the anger speaking. "That anyone would even think that of you when you... when you're obviously not obsessed or biased or... whatever else they want to say."

"Stephen, when I became a politician, I expected them to go after me. Change isn't usually looked at as a good thing, and especially not in the conservative Wizarding World." Padma let out another sigh and tightened her arms around him. "I don't mind. Well, all right, I mind it when they go after me, but I know they're going to. I hate when they go after the people I care about so bloody much."

Stephen sighed again. When he'd gotten his job at the Ministry, he expected to be put on the spot from time to time, and though he wasn't exactly a public figure, he knew he couldn't act like the Minister's son. It wasn't just his job on the line; it was the Ministry's reputation, too. But he'd never expected anyone to use his family against him. Maybe it was naive to not even consider it, but there were other ways to go after him that actually had relevance. His family and his personal relationships shouldn't matter. "I mind it when they go after you, especially like this. It's so unfounded. Like you'd ever let something like that get in the way. They might have more of a point if I was the werewolf, and you'd been ignoring all the other ones at the Sanctuary or something, but I'm not, it's my father, and you haven't been, and I don't even know what the point of all that was. Shouldn't a close relationship with someone who's been directly affected by it actually help? You know better than most what it's been like." Stephen's voice was strained, somewhere between angry and upset. "It's just not right."

She shuffled around until she was sitting on his lap, arms around his waist. Padma appreciated it more than she could say that Stephen obviously believed so much in her. Her temple rested on his shoulder as she sighed. "You know that's not how people see things. A lot of things to extreme opposition is Black or White, Right or Wrong. None of this in-between. In my case, I'm too close to the subject, and therefore unfit. But the real kicker is? If I didn't have anyone in my life who was directly affected by it, they'd say I had no experience, and would be, therefore, unfit. Politics is really just a lot of screaming or extreme viewpoints, otherwise you're not heard."

That was why Padma had gone into politics in the first place, to give the quiet, moderate Wizard/man, the ones whose went unheard, a voice. "It means a lot to me that you care so much, though. And I should have kept our relationship a secret. I should have realised that someone would drag your family into this."

Even though he knew she was right, that not everyone saw things in shades of grey, Stephen only felt marginally better, and mainly because she was curled up on his waist rather than for any other reason. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. Her opponents were dying for any reason to go after her and would have found a way to make her look incompetent despite her relationship with him, but that didn't make him feel any better. The Wizarding World should feel blessed to have such a compassionate person taking care of such a bereft segment of the population.

Stephen was surprised that Padma wished she'd kept their relationship a secret. He might have been mad that someone was criticising her girlfriend and trying to insinuate that she was too close to his family to be partial, but he wouldn't want to be living in secret. He looked startled and stiff, and it took him a few seconds to respond. "There are worse things they could say if they wanted to drag my family into it," he commented. It angered him that they'd been brought up at all, but most of the criticism was about Padma. "Would you really want to keep this secret? I thought you..." Stephen frowned, unsure of himself. He'd been fairly sure that Padma didn't regret letting it all out, but what if he'd been wrong?

Padma caught the expression on his face, the tension in his body. She sat up to look at him. "The only reason I would have wanted to keep it secret, Stephen, isn't because I'd be ashamed of you. In fact, if I knew that no one would go after you or your family, I'd shout it out the window right now. I'm only saying that because I hate that they tried to pour salt on that wound, for you and your father. Not for myself."

She frowned and took his chin in her hand, tilting his face downwards so she could look him in the eye. "It has nothing to do with my feelings for you, and it has nothing to do with us. It's simply a matter of protecting your family because... well, they're sort of my family, too, you know?"

Stephen relaxed and nodded, slightly embarrassed that he'd even doubted her for a second. "I know," he replied softly, putting his arms around her and hugging her tightly. "That's why this entire thing is so ridiculous. You know what it's like for their families because you've seen it first hand, and you have a reason -- no, I won't pretend we're the reason you decided to do this in the first place, make bettering their lives a priority, but you can relate to all of them better than if it had never happened." It did hurt that someone would bring up his family like they were some sort of burden, something that was damaging her reputation. They'd all been through enough, and Stephen already worried about how the public would react to his father as it was; he didn't need the extra "you're the reason we don't trust Padma" hanging over their heads. "They're all right, you know. I talked to my father today, and Mum. They're mostly just angry, because you know how much they adore you. And Da... well, he doesn't enjoy being in the media anymore. He doesn't like the attention, nor the reminder of how different everything is now. I think it embarrasses him."

Padma stiffened a little at that. She was afraid of that. The last thing she wanted was for Stephen's father to be embarrassed, and even less so did she want him to to be so uncomfortable that he thought about leaving the sanctuary. "He's not thinking of... leaving, is he? I mean, I know it's uncomfortable and probably humiliating for him, but if he left.."

"I don't know. I don't think so, but..." Stephen honestly had no idea if his father was thinking about leaving, but the thought terrified him. If his father wasn't at the Sanctuary, Stephen had no idea where he would go. Would he want to go home? They would have to make some changes at home, in that case, to make it safe. He wanted his father to stay at the Sanctuary. The man seemed to like it there. "He can't stand that you're being criticised because of us, because of him. I think he blames himself. If this hadn't happened to him, our family would be... everything would be different, and we wouldn't be getting in the way. That sort of thing."

"I'm going to see him tomorrow before my press conference. This is not his fault. He didn't go out looking for a werewolf to attack him." Padma was violently against the idea that anyone sought to have a werewolf attack him or her, or that anyone could blame themselves for being attacked.

Padma deflated, and while she wasn't second-guessing her desire to leave the WSC, she worried that it meant his father would leave. "This is not his fault. You know that, right? They would use anything they could to get at me."

Stephen gave her another squeeze and buried his face against her neck for a moment, enjoying the comfort found in her warmth. "I know that, and he does too, deep down. So I hope. He knows how people work in politics, how cheap and dirty they can be. I don't know if he can just stop blaming himself for what happened to him, but I think between the two of us, we'll be able to convince him to stay. You have other things to worry about right now, Padma." He pulled back, feeling more relieved and relaxed than he had all day. He should have known that Padma would make him feel better, talk some sense into him, make him forget about his anger. "So what's the first thing you'll do once you resign?" he asked, hoping to change the subject to something a bit lighter.

Padma needed the subject change as much as Stephen did, and so she took to his suggestion quickly. His face in her neck reminded her of some of those things she'd like to do after she resigned.

"Well, I'm taking the rest of the month off, though I know me, and I'll probably stop by the Sanctuary now and again so they don't think I've left them completely. But..." She waggled her eyebrows a little, though her cheeks turned pink. "Don't suppose you could Floo in sick, could you?"

"And you enjoy visiting them too, don't forget that." As much as she wanted to make sure the werewolves at the Sanctuary knew she was still invested in their well-being, he knew that she truly cared about them and would still be interested in their progress on a more personal level.

Stephen's brow lifted in surprise. He liked it when Padma was suggestive and flirty (who wouldn't?), but as tempting as it was, he didn't know if he could take a sick day. Well, he could, but he was still trying to make up for that one day of talking about his sex life publicly. "So we can stay in bed all day? Hmmm, I'm not sure about that." He gave her a quick kiss before shaking his head. "I shouldn't. With everything going on, I know no one would blame me for taking a day off, but I don't want anyone to think that I can't handle a little attention. That doesn't mean we can't enjoy every minute until I have to leave, though."

"Of course! I will beat Jerry at Wizard's Chess one of these days," Padma said with mock challenge, holding up one of her fists and shaking it lightly. Then she sighed dramatically and let herself go slack against him. "I didn't think you could, but I thought I'd ask anyway. If anyone bugs you about it, just tell them to write the War Sanctions Committee, and they'll get their bleeding answer. Thank Merlin I won't have to answer them anymore, and I can talk about whatever I want in the journals! I can't wait!"