InsaneJournal

[Fic] Brightest Flames (Remus/Severus, R)
Title: Brightest Flames
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Rating: R
Highlight for Warnings: *mental illness, questionable consent/abuse, they-didn't-die-AU*
Canon-compliance: meant to be (mostly) Deathly Hallows-compliant
Word Count: 2,738
Summary: Years after the war Severus is found wandering the woods, his mental faculties shaken. Remus takes him in.

Notes: This started out as something I wanted to write for a prompt snapelike gave me in early June: "Oh," Neville said, "You cannot possibly be serious?" Well, the prompt technically is fulfilled with this, but I don't know if she likes this kind of fic, so... I don't know if I can say this is written for her, heh. Inspired by HIM's "One Last Time". Many, many thanks go to the Quill Sinister guys and to zebraspots05 for beta services and much nit-picking especially on the original version.

For challenge_the: #006 secure; lions_serpents: #37 gentle.



Is it so hard to believe our hearts
Are made to be broken by love
That in constant dying lies
The beauty of it all


"Oh," Neville said, "You cannot possibly be serious?"

"I am," Remus said, turning away from the large window he'd been looking through to fix his gaze on the Healer. "I want him with me."

"And Teddy?"

"Teddy is almost an adult, Neville. He attends Hogwarts. He isn't home most of the time, and half the holidays he spends at Bill's. He will understand."

"So you're sure about this."

"I am." Remus turned back towards the window and watched the man on the other side pace up and down along the far wall. Severus looked wild, his clothes torn, blood and dirt spattered over the remains; his confusion was palpable. So many years, and who knew what he'd lived through to be driven this far? Still Remus couldn't quench the tension coiling in his stomach, or the joy spreading through him. Laying eyes on Severus after all this time brought up feelings he'd done his best to forget about.

Despite Neville's words, Remus felt that taking Severus Snape into his own house was the right thing to do, consequences be damned.

*~*~*

Preparing for the arrival of a man who reacted like a wild horse backed into a corner required attention to detail. What was safe, what wasn't? What was needed to take care of Severus?

Neville insisted on keeping Severus with him at St. Mungo's for some time to run more tests. Severus wouldn't keep still though, reacting violently to anyone approaching him too closely past the distance at which he felt secure. His weak physical attacks were no match for a wizard, but it was clear he wouldn't calm down. His fear of people increased instead of decreased, and in the end Neville decided it was no use trying to run tests if Severus was this anxious. Five days after he was found Neville told Remus they'd bring him over the next day, but to be prepared for the worst.

Remus never once wavered in his decision. He thought he'd lost everyone he loved except Teddy, and he wouldn't give Severus up now that he found him again.

*~*~*

"Be careful, Remus. He'll need a strict schedule. Since we don't know what he's gone through, we can't know how he'll react to certain situations. He isn't aggressive, but if he's afraid he will attack. Try not to expect too much from him, and maybe he'll come to you on his own if he realises you're no threat. He will need time to calm down and feel secure in his new environment."

"Yes, Neville. We covered this."

Neville looked like he wanted to add more, but thought better of it. "Are you really sure about this?" he asked instead, his eyes intent on Remus.

"I really am." Remus hoped he look calm and confident despite the queasy feeling churning his insides. Neville looked at him with doubt shining in his eyes, but Remus smiled, and this seemed to satisfy Neville enough.

"Very well," he said, then stood up and mentioned for Remus to do likewise. "To make it official: in my capacity of Healer-in-Charge I, Neville Longbottom, release Severus Snape into your, Remus John Lupin's, care. Do you take responsibility for him and do you recognise the requirements connected with this?" As Neville began speaking, a magical contract appeared in the air over them and cast a green glow on both of them.

"I do," Remus enunciated clearly.

"Then it shall be so." The glow disappeared and the contract folded in on itself until it couldn't be seen any longer, leaving silence behind.

"Thank you," Remus eventually said.

Neville nodded. "We'll get him ready. Expect me back within the hour."

*~*~*

Remus was as prepared for Severus' arrival as he could be, or so he felt, though that feeling didn't calm him in the least. He expected Severus to be afraid and to want to flee the moment he was released from the magical bonds holding him. To that purpose he'd left one easily visible escape route open. That way led straight into the bedroom Remus had readied for him. There was nothing Neville found dangerous within easy reach, every sharp-edged knife or breakable item under lock in the large box room adjoining the kitchen. Remus had bought large quantities of the food Severus had proven to be able to digest, since he didn't know when he could next leave the house.

His friends knew of what he was undertaking, some with more understanding, some with less. Remus didn't hold it against them. How could they know of the bond that had formed between him and this once so bitter, proud, brilliant mind? How could they know of the mutual attraction that kept driving them together in good and in bad, over and over, until Severus had given in and allowed Remus inside - not only his body, but his mind and heart as well? They wouldn't know of the push and pull that defined their relationship. They wouldn't know of the dangerous path they had had to walk in order to gain equal ground, and the pain they endured when Severus was forced to cut Remus out, or else both their lives would have been forfeit. He doubted they would understand even if he tried to explain. Most of the time he didn't understand it himself.

As expected, the moment Severus arrived and was set free he bolted out of the room, out of the reach of the strangers he couldn't understand. Remus quietly thanked the Healers, waited until they were out of the house, and then went up to Severus.

Carefully opening the door, he found Severus backed into a corner. Remus didn't step closer, just studied him from afar so as not to increase his panic. Physically he resembled the forbidding Potions master of old, but the absence of the control Remus associated with Severus was terrifying. The Slytherin's eyes flitted over the details of his new room, lingering on nothing and shying away from Remus' gaze. There was no pride in the man's posture anymore; he shrank back if Remus looked at him too steadily, as if the look was burning him, and the way he curled in on himself made Remus' heart clench with fear.

He'd never thought to see Severus Snape a broken man.

*~*~*

Severus trusted even less now than he used to. Or perhaps this character trait was just easier to detect now.

He didn't want to be touched. He didn't want to be looked at or talked to. He wouldn't eat food as long as Remus was within view, and he never ate anything that Remus had cooked. Vegetables, fruits and raw meat was as far as he ventured if he was hungry. No bread, no soup, not anything made by man. Remus knew that sign well enough to place it: Severus had lived in the woods longer than any human should.

The packs Remus used to run with were the same, inherently distrustful of anything human, as if they'd forgotten they was still humanity within themselves.

Shaking himself free from the past, Remus focused on the task at hand. Food and water was the only way he could win Severus' trust, and he hoped the man's sense of self-preservation was stronger than his mistrust and fear telling him not to come close to Remus. He needed to gain Severus' trust so he could heal.

Anything else was out of the question.

*~*~*

The process of building trust was slow. Remus allowed Severus to roam the sections of the house dubbed safe, which included Severus' room, the living-room, the kitchen and the corridor. Giving him freedom of movement was important; caging him in would only serve to heighten his aggressiveness. This way he could at least know what was going on and go out of Remus' way, and he soon grew less anxious, though he kept out of sight. At the same time Remus tried to implement himself as caretaker. Foodprovider. He would prepare Severus food, taking care that Severus noticed what he was doing, and then remove himself to his own room so Severus could eat. Once he wasn't too afraid about Remus being around, he would keep in sight, and this way Severus became more and more unconcerned about Remus' closeness. The time came that he approached the food directly in front of Remus while he was reading. Severus fled the moment he moved, but this was the first significant sign of progress.

Remus Fire-called Neville with the news, trembling.

Soon Severus didn't react as violently when Remus moved to look at him, next Remus could begin to talk softly. One day as Remus was loudly moving around the kitchen preparing lunch for himself, Severus came in to sniff at the food. Remus only needed to reach out a little and he could thread his fingers in Severus' hair like they were itching to do.

*~*~*

Harry's visit was the first test of the tentative bond building between them. The moment he came in Severus bolted for the safety of his room, upon which Remus had made it a point not to intrude. But once Harry and Remus had packed away the supplies Remus badly needed and sat down for tea, he came back, carefully, watchfully, eyes on Harry and tension strung high in his body. But he came.

"How'd you find him?" Harry whispered, looking at Severus who was glaring at him through the doorway. Remus suppressed a smile, a weight lifting from his shoulders at Severus' reaction.

"Neville did. He got an anonymous tip about a mindless man wandering the woods close to Hogsmeade. Severus looked bad. We don't know how long he's been out there, or what he went through."

"Sheer luck then?"

"Sheer luck," Remus confirmed.

Silence reigned for a moment before Harry continued to talk, his voice heavy.

"What are you planning to do?"

"Take care of him," Remus said, eyes never wavering from the tall form in the other room.

When Harry was gone, Severus moved closer to Remus than ever before, and if Remus didn't know better he would believe it was jealousy shining in Severus' eyes.

*~*~*

After this Severus began to show he considered Remus his. He grew possessive; visitors didn't frighten him much, though he never came close to them. But he would keep an eye on their interaction with Remus, and if he thought them a threat to Remus he would growl and tense as if preparing to attack. Remus learnt to see the signs to prevent Severus' sense of protection from acting out, his wolf-sense becoming so tuned to Severus, he would know at any given point the other man's feelings even though he didn't see him. Instinct was to both of them second nature, strengthening their bond even further.

Progress on Severus' side came and went in bursts. Remus calmed him by using his name over and over, and he learnt to recognise it, along with Remus' tone of voice. He learnt that looking wasn't going to hurt him, not even direct eye contact with other people. He learnt to express an opinion by shaking his head yes and no. He knew what he wanted and what he didn't want, and he learnt to indicate this.

He learnt touch didn't necessitate pain, and he learnt it could feel good.

Remus had to fight tears when Severus asked to be touched for the first time in his own way. Remus reached out for him to reassure him after a moment of confusion, and brief contact turned to caress as Severus brushed up against his hand, causing Remus to shake as his fingers played with Severus' hair and lingered over skin.

*~*~*

The more comfortable they grew with each other, the more peace and normalcy settled in the house. Things became a little uneasy when Teddy stayed with them for the first time over night, but Teddy kept calm and followed Remus' instructions, allowing the waves to even out again. Remus thought his son suspected there was more to why he had decided to take Severus in than the fact they were the last members of the old Order. Teddy never said anything, and Remus offered no further explanation. They knew each other well enough that no words were needed, and Teddy had said often enough that he wanted his father to be happy.

Remus felt happier than he had since the day Teddy was born.

Aside from those few days the first months went more smoothly than anyone had hoped. Stability and kindness were important for the healing process, Neville had said it time and time again, and Remus had given those to the best of his ability.

Remus' focus shifted from carefully moving around Severus to watching for clues instead. Neville had asked for this, as the anxiety running through Severus' body whenever a Healer was close muddled every attempt at diagnosis. They'd conquered Severus' fear of people, but the bad experiences of his stay at St. Mungo's they couldn't erase.

They thought abuse of the worst kind must have led to this, causing Remus to feel uneasy. Years and years, and he never knew Severus was still alive, believing his corpse had been taken by Death Eaters for revenge.

History pieced itself together in small revelations. Severus was frightened of being alone in the dark, a fact which strengthened Remus and Neville's theory. Remus found him sleeping on the doorstep of his room three times before he ventured to let his door stay slightly ajar and his light on low. That day, he heard Severus breathing on the other side of the door, until finally he crept into Remus' bed in the dead of night, snuggling up against him and curling around him for protection. Remus held completely still, and Severus' trembling slowly subsided until he was asleep.

His sleeping noises had quietened, but the pattern of his breathing was still the same. Remus felt unable to go to sleep so close to the past, his throat constricted and his breathing hitched as he tried to control himself. The next morning he still woke wrapped around Severus, his body betraying him with its reaction to the close source of warmth.

*~*~*

There was a morning Remus woke to Severus rutting against him, happily dreaming away. Being this near to Severus for so long had worn down the walls of self-control, causing the brittle material to give. Blood rushed south as the dam broke, and Remus felt himself grow hard. Severus moaned, the sound muffled against Remus' back, and Remus needed to close his eyes. Biting his lip, he wrapped a hand around himself, trying to suppress the guilt. His conscience cried out at him, chastised him for his weakness, but still he didn't succeed, and as Severus came against Remus' back he bit down hard on his lip, drawing blood. Copper filled his senses, driving away the satisfaction.

That day Severus for the first time appeared truly calm and carefree.

*~*~*

Progress slowed and then halted.

Severus wouldn't talk. He could understand simple words and tone of voice, but no more than that. He wasn't in pain and there was no indication this condition would change; he could work basic things that allowed him to look after himself if Remus was gone for a few hours. But the fact that the learning process had stopped brought back the worries Remus had quieted as long as things moved forward. He eventually asked Neville to come and perform the necessary tests. He would dose Severus with the help of sleeping pills so the spells could be worked.

"It's brain damage, isn't it," Remus asked Neville afterwards. "Cruciatus. He won't come back."

"I'm sorry," Neville said, his eyes bright with sorrow. He knew too well what this diagnosis meant for Remus not to feel with him.

Remus smiled tightly and then went back to a sleepy Severus, who broke into a drowsy smile as Remus entered the room, and reached out for him. Remus smiled back and let the comfort of touch seep into Severus' skin until he was asleep. He felt Neville's eyes burn into his back but didn't turn.

Severus was his responsibility. The Severus he had known might never be back, but that didn't mean this Severus didn't deserve as much respect and love. Remus was determined to show him both.