|The world is not beautiful, therefore it is. (dorrie6) wrote in emotionalperil,|
@ 2006-01-15 11:30:00
Original poster: dorrie6
Title: Slow Boat to Bainbridge
Pairing: Dominic Monaghan/Elijah Wood
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Summary: Dom and Elijah angst up the Pacific Northwest. Set during the filming of Try Seventeen. Originally posted 6/23/03.
The ride down had been tense, to say the least. Not that there was any real reason for it, Dom admitted to himself, but somehow he just couldn't let things go the way he was supposed to. He was well aware of the fact that he was being unfair to Elijah. He was even more aware of the fact that by doing so, he was cheating both of them out of what was supposed to be a relaxing day trip together, away from the set of Elijah's film and all the baggage that went with it. Trouble is, he couldn't let that baggage go, no matter how hard he tried, and he was making himself (and Elijah) miserable because of it.
The weather hadn't helped a lot, at least not for driving. They'd driven through pounding rain, which turned to fog, and then back to rain, finally arriving at the kind of soft mist that they expected from this part of the country. The steady, loud rhythm of the windshield wipers had made it easy to remain silent, as did Elijah's habit of falling into a nap whenever things got strained. He'd stayed awake for the border crossing to answer the inevitable questions about a Brit and an American traveling together from Canada, which was always fun, and then was out in a flash, leaving Dom to stew in his own sour juices for the rest of the drive. Dom hated this trip already.
Once they were actually in the city, things seemed a little better. Perhaps it was simply that they were both veteran actors, and found it natural to put on a good show for the public, but Dom didn't really care at the moment. Anything that made the day pass quickly and more tolerably was fine with him. He found that site-seeing was a useful substitute for actual conversation or enjoyment of another's company. As long as they were busy, they could avoid each other brilliantly. They could avoid each other's eyes. They could avoid each other's touch. They could avoid each other's thoughts. Dom wasn't sure whose thoughts he was really avoiding, Elijah's or his, but he knew he was fucking desperate to avoid them.
By mid afternoon, Dom's ability to put on a good face was beginning to wane. They'd wandered their way to Pike Place Market so Elijah could watch the fish-throwing guys. Normally Dom would have found that pretty entertaining as well, but today he found it difficult to enjoy anything, so he stood by silently with a plastic smile on his face as Elijah cheered them on. As lunchtime rolled around, he could be grateful, at least, that the steady mist of rain made a picnic on Bainbridge Island impractical, but Elijah wanted to ride the ferry anyway, so he was going to be stuck with that, the prospect of which was less than pleasant for Dom. He rather dreaded it, in fact. A ferry, even a large one, was a confined space that provided little to do but stare at things. Like the scenery. And the overcast sky. And one's boyfriend. A few weeks ago, that would have sounded like heaven, but now... Dom felt the lump in his throat beginning to rise and threw it off with a bitter laugh. He could feel Elijah looking at him, trying to read his face, but he didn't ask and Dom wasn't about to offer.
They waited for the ferry in silence, boarded it like strangers making a daily commute. Once on board, they drifted apart, Elijah staring into the distance, Dom staring at anything but Elijah. Eventually, out of guilt, he made his way over to Elijah, who, brow furrowed, seemed to be seeking something specific on the non-existent horizon. Anxious for small talk, Dom broke the silence.
"What you looking for, Lij?"
"There's a big mountain over there, I know it," he responded, not altering his gaze. "There's supposed to be anyway, right over there." He pointed into the endless gray.
Dom tried to make something out, but failed. "Yeah, I guess it's the weather. No visibility."
"It's weird," Elijah replied flatly, "there's no trace of it at all. Makes it hard to believe in almost."
They stared in silence again. After a few moments, Dom broke away and turned to wander off on his own again.
He felt his hand grasped by Elijah's. For a moment he let himself fall into the touch of this familiar hand, half covered with the sleeve of a denim jacket, fingertips soft, nails bitten down--one sweet moment before everything else came flooding back. Instinctively he began to pull his hand away, but Elijah's grip tightened. Dom looked up at Elijah, still staring ahead into the gray nothingness. Small droplets of mist had coated his hair and gathered on the tips of his eyelashes. In the pale glare, his skin looked transparent, supernatural almost. Dom felt the ugliness rising again, and pushed it back with all his will.
"You're letting it kill us." Elijah finally spoke again.
Dom looked down at his feet.
Elijah turned to him abruptly, eyes blazing.
Dom was speechless.
"Why?" Elijah demanded, nearly shaking, his grip on Dom's hand starting to be painful.
"I don't know."
"Fuck you, yes you do!" Elijah was almost shouting now. Dom glanced around hastily, to see if anyone was paying attention to them.
"Look at me, you asshole!"
Dom turned back to him, stunned.
"It's for us you wanker, don't you get it?"
"Oh really, wanker," Dom deliberately drew out Elijah's Briticism as he pulled his hand free, "You're having your picture taken with your tongue down the throat of some bitch for us?"
"YES. I. FUCKING. AM."
Dom felt his breath rising, ready for a comeback. He was more than surprised when what came out was a small, choked laugh.
He watched Elijah's eyes widen, as if in indignation, and then began to laugh outright when the indignation turned to amusement, and his mouth relaxed into a sheepish grin.
"God, we're fucking priceless," Dom said, grinning back wryly.
Elijah snorted, "Yeah." He closed his eyes for a moment, cheeks flushed, breathing deep.
Dom fiddled with the rings on his fingers and looked up into Elijah's eyes as they opened again, now calm.
"Listen, I don't know why I've been freaking out over this. I mean, I do. But it's too bloody stupid to even say."
Elijah was serious again now.
"Nothing could be stupid for you to say to me," he paused, "wanker". He smiled softly at Dom.
Dom opened his mouth to reply, but was caught by the coloring on Elijah's face, which had suddenly changed from that ethereal paleness to a warm, amber glow. He found his eye drawn to the source.
He turned. It was the sun. Or the light was from the sun, anyway. The real sight, though, was something else. In front of them, the clouds were clearing to make way for a sliver of blue sky and the snow-capped peak of a large mountain, and as the ferry pushed forward slowly, the sliver began to grow, revealing more.
Elijah stared, barely breathing.
"It was there. I was right."
Dom took his hand, squeezing gently.
"Yeah, you were."
"So were you."
Dom looked at him questioningly.
"It's not for us. It's for me. My stupid career. Nothing else."
Dom felt his eyes close as he let out a long breath.
"It doesn't matter. It shouldn't. That is for us. What's good for you is good for us. That's what being in love is all about. right?."
"And anyway, the only reason I'm getting upset is pride. Fucking pride."
Elijah looked at him in surprise.
Dom continued, "You know it isn't for real. I know it isn't for real. Fuck, even she knows it isn't for real. Why do I care what they write in some bloody tabloid? Fucking pride is all."
For a moment Elijah said nothing. Then he squeezed Dom's hand again and gave him a small, warm smile.
"I told you it wasn't stupid."
Dom smiled back, eyes shining with gratitude. His smile faded slightly when he realized that the ferry had reached its destination.
"Fuck, I wasted that whole ride. Should have been mooning over my gorgeous boyfriend and marveling at the scenery."
Elijah's smile widened as he tugged him towards the exit.
"That's okay, we still have the whole ride back. If you're lucky maybe I'll let you feel me up."
Dom laughed softly, aware that his cheeks had turned slightly pink.
Maybe this trip wasn't so bad after all.