InsaneJournal

Hesitation Waltz, LOTR RPS, Sean Bean/Orlando Bloom

Original poster: dorrie6

Title: Hesitation Waltz
Pairing: Sean Bean/Orlando Bloom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Orlando is a scaredy-cat. He gets over it.
Notes: Written for thalassatx as part of the green_queen's flashfic-a-thon. Originally posted 6/14/03.


The first clue he had came in canoe practice. It took him by surprise, a grown man like that behaving very much as a schoolboy. He thought at first it might have been a mistake when he felt the jolt and subsequent wobble of his canoe being struck from the side with an oar. After the third or fourth time, however, it all became obvious and almost a bit funny. Sean Bean. Sean fucking Bean, multiple divorcé, father of three, all-around Man's Man was trying to get his attention, with no more subtlety than a 10-year-old boy. It was outrageous, and flattering, and, well fucking hot to tell the absolute truth. Had Orlando not still been a bit self-conscious about his inexperience on a film set he might have leapt from his canoe and shagged him right there in the river.

As it was, he slunk around the Cuntebago in between takes, through pubs in the evening, looking for signs, waiting for the right moment, or really any moment at all. He was not a smooth operator by any means, and he knew it. With women maybe. It was easy when it was just a game, one he didn't care if he won or lost. It was different with men, though. With men he felt urgent, unsteady, almost needy. He didn't like that feeling much to be honest, and rather wished to have it over with. Just shag and be done with it. That's how it always ran, after all. This might have been his first film, but it most certainly was not his first experience with the likes of Sean Bean. He knew the type. The macho "straight" man who wants to fuck the pretty boy. Been there, shagged that. Sure, Bean was a bit more shy and soft-spoken than most, but he couldn't fool Orlando.

He was laying it on pretty thick, really, Orlando considered, staring at him from across the set, including him in jokes, contriving to stand next to him while they were listening to Peter talk. It was really a lot of work to put in just for good fuck in his opinion, but he supposed that was part of the act. It might even have worked on someone who'd been around the block a bit less. Hell, it had almost convinced Orlando a couple of times-- almost got him thinking that Sean was actually interested in him as a person. The guy was obviously good at this, and Orlando knew he had to play it right if he was going to get out clean--no attachment, no bruises. Well, maybe a few bruises. Orlando chuckled. As long as they're only on the outside.

Opportunity finally arrived, as so many things seemed to these days, in the form of drunken hobbits. Drunken Dom and Elijah in fact. Drunken, publicly snogging Dom and Elijah to be specific. They had obviously gotten drunk enough to forget that they were in the middle of a very crowded public establishment, something which would normally not have affected Orlando in the slightest. On this particular evening, however, they were drunken, publicly snogging Dom and Elijah with Sean Bean pretending not to stare at them, which was something very interesting indeed. So intent was Sean in his not-staring, in fact, that he was completely unaware of Orlando having crept up behind him until he actually spoke.

"Sexy, aren't they, mate?"

Sean started slightly and flushed as their eyes met. This was good. Orlando felt in control, almost high with it, adrenaline pumping.

"Excuse me?" Sean tried to look annoyed, still flushing.

Orlando let his hand brush lightly against Sean's thigh, as he tilted his head towards the former objects of Sean's attention.

"Our boys over there. Hot, yeah?" He arched his eyebrow and allowed a sly grin to creep onto his face, which only widened as Sean, seemingly gaining composure, took a firm hold at the wrist of the hand that was brushing his thigh and gave him a small smile.

"Yes. They are," he replied holding Orlando's hand up in front of him. "So what's this?"

Orlando felt his control faltering slightly, but persevered, retaining his grin. "You tell me."

"I think," said Sean, rising from his bar stool and bringing his body very close to Orlando's, "that this is a co-star coming on to me, and rather clumsily as well. Am I right, Orlando?"

The color drained from Orlando's face, and he found that he couldn't speak. So much for control. He stared at Sean, eyes wide, suddenly helpless. Sean slowly leaned his head around to Orlando's right ear.

"You think you know me, don't you?" His voice a low rumble, his breath deadly scorching. "Believe me. You don't."

Oh Fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Orlando's heart began to race, one sentence running through his head, He's going to fucking kick my ass. He braced himself instinctively and closed his eyes, waiting for the blow. When he felt his arm released, it was surprising, to say the least. That was nothing, however, compared to the complete and utter shock as he felt himself being pulled forward by the waistband of his jeans into a ferocious kiss. "Kiss" wasn't even an adequate word for it. He felt as though he was being consumed, head first. Soon the rest of his body followed as he felt strong hands move to grip his ass, pushing hardness into aching hardness, and then almost as quickly as it had begun, it stopped. Orlando was standing alone, or just barely standing, anyway, as his knees wobbled and his arms flailed, seeking support which they found in what turned out to be the bar.

When he'd recovered enough to open his eyes, he found himself gazing at Bean's triumphant and wicked smile.

"Hot enough for you?" Sean asked, eyes sparkling.

Orlando, still weak, could only mutter, "Jesus, Sean."

"Oh, that good then?" Sean's smile grew wider.

Orlando just glared.

"Oh come now," Sean leaned in a bit closer, repressing a chuckle. "I really couldn't resist. Not with you acting the suave pick-up artist."

"Fuck you," Orlando growled, turning to leave. He was stopped by two arms, soft now, gently urging him back to face now warm eyes.

"Wouldn't you rather do it yourself, love?" Sean's voice was silky and sincere. Orlando felt himself involuntarily melting. As Sean softly pressed his hands, the melting turned to panic. As he reached up and tenderly stroked his cheek, the panic turned to fury.

"I said fuck you!" Orlando shouted, much too loudly, as he pushed Sean back into the bar and fled from the pub.

Outside, Orlando paced furiously, heart pounding, head pulsing. What a fucking idiot he was. What a stupid fucking idiot. Mister macho man puts on his sweet and goofy face for one minute and he's putty in his hands. Well FUCK THAT. At the sight of Sean heading towards the door, Orlando ran to his car, slammed the door and tore out of the parking lot, pretending to himself that he couldn't hear his name being called out after him.

After that night, the staring stopped, and the joking too. Sure, there had been a couple of times in the days that immediately followed where it had seemed that Sean was trying to get him alone for a moment, but that was easily thwarted, and after a few days he'd stopped trying. Orlando was grateful for that at least. Nights at the pub were a bit more difficult. At first Orlando was able to beg off, claiming exhaustion or pretending to have a date, but eventually he had to show up again and of course Sean was there at his usual spot, talking with Viggo, thankfully, seemingly unaware of or at least indifferent to Orlando's presence. Orlando fell into what was easiest--goofing off with the hobbits, flirting with women--and thus became the nightly routine. It was the best that could be expected, Orlando figured. It was really for the best.

Orlando devoted so much energy to convincing himself that it was for the best that the reality of missing Sean snuck up on him. He found himself instinctively feeling around for him during Peter's talks and being disappointed at the empty air. When something funny happened on set, he immediately searched for Sean's eye to catch, and then remembered why he wasn't going to find it. It surprised him how much these small things had come to mean to him, and if he was honest with himself, he had to admit he wanted them back-- really wanted them back. He didn't completely understand this, and wasn't even sure he wanted to, but he knew it to be fact. What he wasn't at all sure of is whether Sean did. Had it all been an act, as Orlando supposed? He started to watch Sean carefully when he could. An argument could be put forth that perhaps Sean was trying just a bit too hard not to look at him, and perhaps to the not-so-casual observer it might appear that Sean was having to hold himself back when making a joke to not flash those shy, mischievous eyes in Orlando's direction. It was also possible that Orlando was making all this up in his hopeful little head, but he found that he was desperate to know. Only pride and a little bit of fear were holding him back.

The Cuntebago had become a torture chamber. At the beginning and end of each shooting day he was trapped inside with Sean and Viggo--Viggo not noticing, or at least ignoring the new non-friendship between Sean and Orlando, Sean avoiding his eye expertly, even in the mirror. Orlando felt stuck, somehow unable to break the silence, and Sean obviously was not going to take that step. It was out of that hell he was escaping one evening when he nearly ran over a gaggle of hobbits gathered around outside the door. They greeted him warmly and spoke of the night's planned outing to the pub. Just the thought of that made Orlando cringe. One more night at the pub, pretending to have a good time, ignoring the one person he most wished to be talking to. He really didn't think he could take it. But what was the alternative?

Orlando stopped. The alternative was very clear. And also terrifying. He started again and stopped.

Was it worth the risk?

He listened to his own heartbeat for a moment and started again.

No

Maybe.

Yes.

He turned around and headed back to the Cuntebago, ignoring curious looks from the hobbits. He stopped inside the door and just stood there, speechless and oddly out of breath. Sean and Viggo stared, waiting. Years seemed to pass with the three of them just standing there, and Orlando began to wonder if his heart was beating as loudly in the room as it sounded in his own head. Finally Viggo turned to Sean, gave him a small nod and left. Just like that, silently and smoothly, as though he were simply removing himself from a photograph he didn't belong in, leaving Orlando and Sean alone.

After a few moments of further silence, Sean began to move towards the door.

"Wait." Orlando's voice sounded gravelly and oddly loud.

Sean waited.

Orlando felt himself beginning to panic slightly, and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

Okay, that wasn't great, but it was a start.

Sean's face softened slightly, but he moved closer to the door.

"No, please, Sean. Wait."

Sean waited again, eyes meeting Orlando's.

"I'm--I was an ass." Orlando's voice was shaking a bit, but he caught something in Sean's eyes that urged him to continue, "well, a fucking idiot, actually." He felt a smile begin to tug at the corners of his mouth, and saw one starting to blossom in the corners of Sean's eyes.

"Yeah, you really are," Sean answered pleasantly, the smile slowly spreading to the rest of his face.

Orlando's smile widened, and he felt like he could possibly have lit up the Mines of Moria with it. "So, you'll forgive me, then?" His hand reached out to play with the cuff of Sean's shirt.

"Well," Sean pondered softly, not stopping Orlando's hand, "I suppose there might be a bit of groveling involved first."

"Oh really?" Orlando lightly pulled Sean a bit closer.

"Absolutely," was the response, accompanied by an arm around the waist.

"Whatever you say, Sean," Orlando murmured as he tilted Sean's face to his and kissed him slowly.

Sean reached behind Orlando to close the door and then pressed Orlando's body up against it with his own.

"Definitely lots of groveling--hours worth, I'm thinking--possibly days, in fact." His voice was becoming low and raspy.

Orlando's mouth worked its way up to Sean's ear.

"I hope so."