Juliette Coulombe (clearyourmind) wrote in emillion, @ 2014-12-12 09:37:00 |
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She'd put it off entirely too long. It was less than a week until the wedding now, and less than two before she would be expected to present herself at the palace. She had already packed a bag, then proceeded to stuff it in the very back of her closet. But she had to say something. If not now, when? It wasn't the sorry if thing one brought up at the reception banquet, surely...... She'd baked tea cakes to steady her nerves, the made up a tray before proceeding to the library, where she had been told she would find the mistress of the house. A hesitant knock on the doorframe was followed by an equally hesitant, "May I disturb you?" The countess looked up from the letter she was reading - a contact had found a fairly valuable ring in Kerwon, which she was deciding whether to acquire or not. The last ring she had acquired had nearly cost her her life, but it had been worth the risk, hadn’t it? She put the letter on the little table that sat beside her armchair and motioned for Juliette to sit. “Of course, Juliette,” she said, smiling. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Juliette set down the tray and offered, “Tea? I thought you might enjoy some.” Of course, she thought as she poured, it was a weak excuse, and the countess would know that it was only a pretense, but the proprieties must be observed… and there was something to be said for having something to do with her hands. “I… had hoped to speak with you about a personal matter,” she said once the cups were filled. “I know you are very busy preparing for your wedding, but I hope not to take up too much of your time.” “A personal matter?” The ring was forgotten in favor of hearing whatever it was that Juliette wished to discuss. She took the cup of tea that the girl offered and took a sip. There were tea cakes on the tray, and she retrieved one, taking a small bite of it. The wedding was not so forefront on her mind anymore - everything that could be done was done, and everything that remained would not become an issue until the day of. “I’ve all the time that you may need.” Juliette drank from her teacup slowly, dragging out the silence, before admitting, “I don’t quite know where to begin.” Why hadn’t she done this earlier? “I…. in the time when I was staying at the guildhall…” was there a more delicate way to put it? She didn’t want to say, while I wasn’t speaking to you. “I made a number of… career decisions.” That was bland enough, but not very clear, now was it. “I did not ask for counsel then for obvious reasons, and I did not wish to disturb you in the months after due to…. various factors.” Not to mention the slow rebuilding of trust. She took a deep breath, told herself, out with it, and blurted out: “I have committed to the Kingsguard trial. I leave the second week of Sagittarius.” There. For better or worse, it was out -- and if she just stared down at her teacup, perhaps the countess would say something. “The Kingsguard,” Genevieve repeated slowly, setting her cup down. Her eldest brother had considered taking the exam years ago, so she was passingly familiar with the process. She studied the girl across from her; she had grown in the past year, in both strength and mind. “It is not an easy exam,” she said at last. “Have you spoken with Alys about this?” “No, not easy,” Juliette agreed. “I… anticipate I will not last the month, but I have committed to the trial, so I must give it my best effort.” Her hands went from her teacup to fidget in her lap under the table. “I…. haven’t been able to speak with her, no. She has not been well. I will tell her. This week.” It sounded like a justification even to her own mind. “It was our grandfather’s calling. Perhaps… she will be pleased.” All right, no, she wouldn’t, but what else could Juliette do at this point but go through with it? “Very well, then,” the older woman said. “I will not ask you to not do this, as it is your life and you should live it as you see fit. I will, however, ask that you give it your best and take care of yourself.” It was all that Genevieve could do, really. It would not do to worry, for the exams were structured in a way that severe injury or death were unlikely so long as one used caution. “If you like, I can put you in touch with my elder brother. He had once thought to join, and has several friends who have. Perhaps they could provide some insight as to what you may expect.” “I do not think I know how to give less than my best,” Juliette murmured. She had a tendency to throw herself into things with her whole heart, which did not always serve her well. And if her best was not enough… Well, in the grand scheme of things, she had some place to return to. When she had made the commitment, she had thought that with a failure, she would be left with nothing. “I would be grateful for an introduction.” Not that they hadn’t spoken briefly at some ball or another, but never long enough to do anything but offer pleasantries. “All of my information has come from books and the brief interview I underwent upon putting myself forward.” She nodded. “I shall invite my brother for tea this weekend, then. I would imagine any additional insight would be valuable, and I was planning on inviting him regardless.” He had been complaining about his inability to properly position his cravat, and she had promised to show him prior to the wedding. Honestly, it was as if he hadn’t worn one since his own wedding. “Aside from your career aspirations, is there anything else on your mind?” For a moment, Juliette thought that perhaps she ought to mention her strange friendship with Pyr but… she still didn’t fully know what was happening there, so why trouble the Countess with it? In the end, she voiced her only other concern: “I do not think Alys is taking.... things well. She would not tell me, I think, but she seems a little… lost.” Audrey was still a bit of an enigma. She could not quite figure out how to help the girl; she had risen from one crisis only to be thrown into another. And there was nothing that Genevieve could do to rectify it. “It is not surprising,” she said, her voice soft. “To go through great trauma is unnerving, unsettling, and leaves one unbalanced. I would think the only help that we can grant her would be to be there for her.” Genevieve had considered dragging Audrey from her manor, but she had decided against it. It would likely do more harm than good, and that was not her aim. “I am trying. It makes me feel particularly… unsettled about leaving, even if it will not be for long.” And guilty -- for whose fault was that great trauma if not hers? Juliette knew that she would carry that guilt for the rest of her life. “I will try harder,” she resolved, “though there is little can do.” “There is little any of us can do,” Genevieve responded gently. “She will need to deal with things as she sees fit, and the best that we are able to do is remind her she does not need to go through this alone.” She took another sip of her tea, which had started to cool, and replaced the cup on the table. “But she is not your responsibility. You ought to be focusing on your exam.” Her second one in less than a year. “Aside from worry over Alys, I can hardly think of anything else,” Juliette admitted. Then, after a moment, “Thank you for not being… upset with me. I believe I may have earned your ire, and instead, you offered assistance. I really am grateful.” The countess sighed in fond exasperation. “You have never done anything to earn my ire,” she reassured the girl. “As I have said on many an occasion, I am simply here to help. That is all I desire to do.” She reached for a teacake and smiled. “Now, the wedding is nearly upon us, and you will be leaving shortly thereafter. You will have to let me throw you a fete of some sort for luck.” The idea of a party was mildly horrifying, but Juliette understood that it was likely a condition of a sort. The countess enjoyed parties, and Juliette… could tolerate them. No one would be trying to court her, at any rate; Alys’ scandal had splashed over onto her and made her considerably less eligible, which suited her just fine. “If you have the time and it is not too taxing, I would be pleased.” At the thought, in any case, if not exactly the execution. It wasn’t a real lie. And as for mention of the wedding… “I believe I may have taken up enough of your time. I will speak with Alys shortly, I promise.” When she finally left the room with the tray, she felt a great deal better than when she had walked in. |