Entry tags:

character: james jr, character: luna, genre: het, genre: humor, pairing: luna/james jr, rating: nc-17

Hippie Aunts Are the Best Aunts (Luna/James II, NC-17)
Title: Hippie Aunts Are the Best Aunts
Pairing: Luna/James II
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3267
Warnings: James is sixteen.
Summary: Aunt Luna doesn't wear a bra. Jamie notices. Things, um...happen.
Author's notes: Written as a pinch hit for eeyore9990 in the wizard_love exchange. I had insane amounts of fun writing this. Thanks to freckles42 and mariamme for indulging me.

Teddy leaned over Jamie's shoulder and whispered in his ear.

"Aunt Luna is totally not wearing a bra."

James felt a rush of heat in his cheeks and tried to peek clandestinely over at Aunt Luna. He hadn't even seen her arriving at the party, he'd been so preoccupied with trying to beat his brother in their impromptu Gobstones tournament. He craned his neck to see. Aunt Luna--okay, not really his aunt, but one of his dad's and mum's best friends, so, close enough--was wearing some sort of flowery sleeveless dress that floated when she walked.

And definitely no bra.

She caught him looking and winked at him, then laughed. Jamie's eyes widened and he turned back to Teddy.

"You are completely right," he said. "Damn."

Albus furrowed his brow at them. "What are you two on about?" he asked.

Flicking one of his Gobstones at his brother's last one, Jamie frowned. "Nothing. Shut up, Al." The stone spat pus all over Albus, and Jamie smirked. "You lose." He stood, gathering his Gobstones in their little sack, and taking one of Al's as a bounty. He decided he was going to thoroughly investigate the matter of Aunt Luna's bralessness. Hopefully a bit less obviously this time.

Jamie and Teddy made their way to the drinks table. Teddy picked up a bottle of beer like it was no big deal and twisted off the cap, tossing it at Jamie. He took a long swig, and Jamie looked on in envy. His mum would throw a wobbly if she caught him drinking like that. Then again, Teddy was plenty old enough. Jamie frowned and grabbed a butterbeer, ignoring his jealousy in favour of staring at Aunt Luna's braless tits, which were bouncing in his direction as she came towards the two of them.

Teddy elbowed Jamie. "Enjoy," he murmured in Jamie's ear, and he was gone, presumably to try to look down Victoire Weasley's blouse again. Teddy Lupin was obsessed with tits.

Well. Not that Jamie wasn't.

He pushed his glasses up on his nose and grinned at Aunt Luna. He'd known her since he was born; he certainly wasn't going to be shy around her. Even if her tits were sort of distracting in that dress. He couldn't believe he'd never noticed before that she didn't wear a bra.

Aunt Luna took up a glass of punch. "Hot day, isn't it?" she asked. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and took a swig of punch.

Jamie nodded. "I like your dress," he said, in as innocent a tone as he could muster. "It looks nice on you."

She smiled and spread her skirt. "Thank you, James," she said. "I did notice you looking." She fixed her big blue eyes on him and did that incredibly creepy thing that he hated, then. Like she knew. "You weren't looking at the dress, though." It was really more of a statement than a question. Jamie's gaze moved automatically to her chest.

"Um, I don't know," he managed.

Luna put one hand on her hip and drank the rest of her punch. "Well, if you did know, we could talk about it," she said. She came around the table and put an arm around Jamie's shoulders. "Because I saw you looking at my breasts. Do you like breasts, then, James?"

Jamie's eyes went wide and he choked on his butterbeer. "Um," he managed.

"We can talk about this inside if you'd rather," said Aunt Luna, already steering him towards the house.

"We...yeah. Could. Do that." Jamie tried not to stumble over his own feet as they made their way through his parents' back garden and into the house. It was cool in the kitchen, and Aunt Luna looked around, frowning.

"Not here, I don't think," she said, and she turned and marched out of the room and up the stairs.

Jamie followed, his eyebrows knitted. He licked his lips nervously as he followed a few paces behind. She was wearing knickers. He could definitely see the outline of those through the dress.

Not that he was looking. Just, he was right behind her on the stairs. He practically couldn't help it.

When they were in Jamie's room, she sat on his bed, bouncing a little. It was unmade, and Jamie remembered he'd had a dirty dream the night before and the sheets probably didn't smell fantastic.

"Um," he said, for the thousandth time in a row.

"You have a very springy bed, James," Luna said then.

"Um. Thanks?"

She patted the mattress beside her, and Jamie sat, his hands in his lap, picking at a hangnail. He didn't know where to look. This was just bizarre. He nearly choked at her next words.

"Do you get erections, James?"

Jamie flushed. "Well, I...yeah," he admitted. "Everyone does. All boys, I mean."

Luna nodded sagely. "That they do. Tell me, though, James, do you get them when you think about boys, or when you think about girls? Or possibly both?"

Jamie made a face and shook his head. "Girls. Fuck. I don't--definitely don't like boys."

"There's nothing wrong with liking boys. Your Uncle Percy likes boys. Just ask Uncle Neville."

He fidgeted. "Yeah, I know."

"So," said Aunt Luna, ticking off on her fingers, "You get erections when you think about girls, and you were looking at my breasts. Are you a virgin?"

Jamie's mouth opened in horror. His aunt--fake aunt, or whatever--asking him about erections was one thing, but this was quite another.

"There's nothing wrong with it if you are," she continued, apparently oblivious of his discomfort. "I was a virgin until I was sixteen. Your dad was a virgin until he was nineteen, but of course your mum was pretty young when she--"

"I seriously do not want to know any of this," said James, dropping his head into his hands. "Please."

She stopped talking and started rubbing his shoulder.

That was very possibly even worse. His cock twitched in his pants, and he willed it to stop.

"James," she said, "If you don't want to be a virgin any more--"

He sat up. "I didn't say I was a virgin."

She did that creepy thing again. She just knew things sometimes. "James," she chided gently, "You're a lovely young man. I'd be glad to help you with that virginity problem if you like. You know where I live, and you can owl me any time. Okay?" She took his chin in her hand and cocked her head.

And, to his horror, Jamie found himself nodding.

---

It was a week before he owled her. A long week. A week in which Jamie wanked a few more times than was probably normal for a boy his age. A week in which he couldn't stop thinking about Aunt Lu--no, just Luna. He couldn't go around thinking of her as his sodding aunt if he wanted her to--how had she put it?

Right. To help him with his virginity problem.

It took ninety minutes and fifteen discarded starts before Jamie was satisfied with his letter:

Aunt Luna,

When's good for you?

Jamie.

He sighed and handed his letter to his dad's owl, Hansel. "Don't tell anyone about this," he admonished. Hansel looked at him as if to say who could I possibly tell? and flew off into the night.


Luna's reply was in his hands just a few minutes later. Jamie peeked into the hallway to be sure that no one was about, then read it quickly.

James,

Please be at my house tomorrow afternoon at three. You should wear your red t-shirt. It's an energising colour, and it looks good on you besides.

Luna.

"Red t-shirt, red t-shirt," said Jamie, digging through the bureau. Fuck, which one had she meant? He had two of them. Jamie took turns holding each one up to his chest in front of the mirror and was in the process of deciding when Albus walked in.

"Fuck off, Al," Jamie snarled.

"It's my room, too," Al pointed out, sprawling across his bed. "What're you doing?"

Jamie sighed and turned around, regarding his brother, and held up the two t-shirts.

"Which one?"

Albus frowned in concentration. "The one with the stripe," he said. Jamie frowned, then, too. He'd been leaning towards the solid-coloured one.

Then again, he reasoned, Aunt Luna had changed his nappies when he was a baby. It probably didn't matter all that much.

"Have you got a date or something?" Albus asked, picking up one of Jamie's copies of Martin Miggs.

Jamie snatched the comic from his brother's hands.

"Yeah, 'or something'," he said. "Leave my bloody comics alone."

---

He had been to Aunt Luna's house a million times before, but Jamie had never been here by himself. Her house always smelled of incense, but the smell was particularly strong today, and Jamie wrinkled up his nose and tried not to sneeze. He batted at a tendril of one of Aunt Luna's hanging plants as it twisted itself in his hair, and smiled as Aunt Luna came out of the kitchen holding two large steaming mugs.

"I'm glad you wore the red shirt," she said. "Doesn't it make you feel virile, up for anything?"

"Um. Yeah?" Jamie hadn't meant for it to come out a question, but it had.

She grinned and handed one of the mugs to him. "This," she announced, "Is a ginger tea with nettle extract. It promotes blood circulation and is also a natural aphrodisiac."

Jamie thought that that sounded fairly awful, but he gamely took a sip anyway. It was awful. And he didn't really think he needed an aphrodisiac at sixteen, but he drank as much of the tea as he could stand. Luna sipped from her own mug and leaned back against the sofa cushions, putting her bare feet up on the coffee table, which looked like it might have once been an old barn door but which was now covered with copies of The Quibbler Report, Aunt Luna's knitting, a few strange roots, and a large calico cat.

"Isn't this lovely, James?" she asked, sighing happily. Jamie didn't exactly know what she was referring to.

"Um, yeah," he said, and decided to ask something he'd always wondered. "Why do you always call me James? Nobody calls me James."

Aunt Luna opened her eyes for a moment and turned her head to look at him. "Because it's your name," she said, then asked a question of her own. "What exactly have you done, James? Besides having sex, I mean. You've kissed a girl, surely."

Well. She always had been one to get right to the point.

"Yeah, I've kissed a girl," he said, staring into his mug.

"And?" Luna prompted.

"And...well, there aren't any girls I'm really interested in right now. You know?" He shrugged.

"Okay," said Aunt Luna. She stood and grabbed his hand and escorted him up the funny curving stairs of her house to a tiny bedroom filled with more incense, lots of silken hangings, and another large cat. Jamie eyed the cat. He hoped it wasn't going to watch them while they--

Um.

While they did that thing Jamie really hoped they were going to do.


He bit his lip and looked at Luna, then at a painting on the wall. When he realised the painting was of a naked couple intertwined, he quickly looked back at Luna.

She was naked.

Jamie's eyes went wide.

She'd only been wearing another of those floaty dresses she favoured, but she'd got her kit off really bloody quickly, and Jamie suddenly felt stupid standing there in his red t-shirt and all the rest of his clothes.

"You can undress, too, if you'd like," she said, and Jamie was frozen in place for a moment, then undid his jeans and reached down to take off his shoes before he was quite finished unzipping, resulting in a hopping sort of dance that landed him on Aunt Luna's bed with his jeans around his ankles and one shoe in his hand, his t-shirt rucked up around his chest.

Aunt Luna stood over him with her hands on her hips, a wide smile on her face. She wasn't looking at his face. Jamie knew exactly where she was looking; could feel himself growing hard in his pants.

"I'm glad the tea worked," said Luna (Jamie didn't mention that his hard-on had nothing whatsoever to do with the tea) and she crouched down and pulled off Jamie's other shoe, then his jeans. "You can leave your shirt on," said Luna, "but you should probably lose those pants if we're to accomplish anything today."

He realised she was waiting for him to do it, so he shimmied out of his pants and dropped them on the floor beside the bed, then sat, waiting, on Aunt Luna's patchwork quilt, his hands on either side of him, his erection insistent between his thighs.

"All right," said Luna then, and she put a hand to her chin, thinking. "I could give you a blowjob, but you'll get plenty of those in school. Just remind the girls to cover their teeth with their lips. And remember, Jamie, reciprocation is important. Just because a girl is willing to suck you doesn't mean she doesn't want the favour returned."

He swallowed hard, nodding. Were they going to actually do it or was she just going to talk all afternoon? "Right, I'll remember," he said, wanting nothing more than to touch himself but somehow not daring to do so.

"So we should probably fuck, then, so you can say you're not a virgin and it'll be the truth."

Jamie whimpered. "Yes, please."

"Do you want to leave your glasses on so you can watch what's happening?"

Jamie licked his lips and nodded. "Um, if that's okay?" His statements really needed to stop coming out as questions.

Aunt Luna smiled and nodded and sat on the bed beside him. He turned to her (as if he even knew what to do, god) then paused.

"Um. Can the cat be...not here?" It was watching, he knew it was.

And so Aunt Luna got up and shooed the cat from her bedroom and Jamie got to watch her arse as she did so; it was sort of flat but nice as far as he knew. Not that he'd seen a lot of arses. Well, boys' ones, at school, in the showers and things, but those were the sort of arses a person looked away from. Unless one was Uncle Percy or Uncle Neville, which, ew, he did not need to be thinking about them right now because he had enough trouble with his aunt (fake aunt, whatever) coming back towards him and pushing him back against about forty mismatched pillows.

So, okay. That was kind of hot.

He was going to say something to that effect but before he could form the words, she was straddling him, straddling him, with her, um, right over his, oh fuck, and then she was, fucking hell oh god and she was so wet.

"So, that's penetration," she said, "And most girls your age won't know to do this, but--" She closed her eyes and a slow smile spread over her face and she sort of--she fluttered. That was maybe the best way for it. Her--her self. Over his cock. Her muscles in there, or something. Oh, god. Jamie was going to come in about three seconds if she kept that up.

He whimpered again, and she opened her eyes.

"Right, a bit too much, I expect, for your first time and all."

"Probably," Jamie said bravely, pushing his specs up on his nose from where they'd slipped a bit.

"So, then. Hold on tightly," Aunt Luna said, and before Jamie understood why she was saying it, she was hugging him close and rolling them both over on the bed so was astride her.

"Go ahead," she said, and she raised one hand and tweaked her nipple and Jamie's mouth went dry.

"You mean, just...go for it?"

Aunt Luna gave him a funny smile and continued rolling her nipple between her finger and thumb. "You have to learn how at some point," she said, "and if I kept on going on top like that, you wouldn't have learnt a thing. So, yes. Go ahead."

He couldn't stop watching her fingers on her nipple, and Jamie swallowed hard and began to move, slowly at first, then he picked up a rhythm and it wasn't bloody difficult, not like bloody Arithmancy or anything, more like flying, it was natural, and Jamie felt lost and amazing, like he did sometimes while he was flying, and he closed his eyes and tipped his head back and let out a long, guttural moan.

"Beautiful, James," came Aunt Luna's voice, and that was when he realised that her hand was down there where the two of them were joined and she was rubbing herself, and that was even hotter than the nipple thing. Fuck, he wasn't going to last, not like this, not flying like this, not with her hand there, and Jamie's glasses slipped down his nose and bounced off his face and Merlin only knew where they ended up but he didn't bloody care because this was better than any wank session, ever, and better than Theo Davies had said it was, and he was probably a bloody liar anyway--

--and why was he thinking about Theo Bloody Davies when he was in the middle of losing his virginity, for Merlin's sake?

"Aunt Luna," he gasped, and he heard her laugh.

"Just Luna right now," she said, "Let's forget the aunt thing for the next thirty-eight seconds."

Jamie wasn't counting, but her estimate was probably pretty close. He didn't have time to warn her before he was coming inside her and collapsing upon her, her fingers still working away down there, and then she went all tight around him and squeezed, and wrapped her legs tightly around his back, and Jamie figured she must have come, too.

He lay there, panting, stuck to his Au--no, okay. Stuck to Luna with their commingled sweat. He should move. And he would. In a minute. Or five.

Finally, Luna moved underneath him. "Up," she insisted, and Jamie reluctantly rolled off her.

He spread himself out on the bed, splaying his arms and legs. "Don't wanna move," he mumbled, "Was fucking amazing."

Luna was standing over him; he could tell even though his eyes were closed by the way the light was suddenly blocked out. he fluttered his eyes open and she was tying the belt of a silk dressing gown about her waist.

"You rest," she said, "I'm going to make some more tea."

Jamie lifted his head. "The nettle thing again?"

Aunt Luna was already halfway down the stairs, but she called up to him. "You're going to need your strength for the rest of the afternoon, James."

Jamie smacked himself on the forehead and laughed, collapsing back on to the bed.

---

Dear James,

I hope your school year is off to an auspicious start. Are you putting your new found talents to use? Astra says hello and that she's not upset that you kept throwing her out of the bedroom this Summer.

Love,

Luna.

---

Aunt Luna,

You would not believe how auspicious. And I've learnt some things, too. Maybe I'll show you over Christmas hols. Tell Astra to get used to napping downstairs.

James.