InsaneJournal

Five women Percy would totally sleep with if he weren't, y'know, bent (Percy and others, PG)
Title: Five women Percy would totally sleep with if he weren't, y'know, bent
Character: Percy and others.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 355
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR's.
Notes: Original prompt/title from stephanometra. Originally posted to LJ on 4/14/07.



1. Celestina Warbeck. No, really—Percy remembers one particular record album his mum had where Celestina had on a low-cut blouse and her hair was all piled up on top of her head and she had her nose buried in a pink flower and kept winking and everything was mysteriously misty in that particular nineteen-seventies sort of way. Percy used to practise kissing on that picture until Bill caught him at it one day when Percy was eight. He's still not sure what happened to the album after that.

2. The Muggle girl—Percy's pretty sure her name is Kate—who works in the bookshop in Ottery St Catchpole. She's little and friendly in the way a girl who works in a bookshop should be, but eventually Percy realised she was interested in him and that's when he stopped going back. He's still not certain which would have been more difficult—explaining that he's gay, or explaining that he's a wizard.

3. Angelina Johnson. He knows she refused to sleep with Oliver Wood and George and Fred, and he'd sort of like to be the one granted access—for once, the one who did something none of them could ever do (and something they'd actually be jealous of—his Head Boy badge had never meant a thing to any of them). As a bonus, she's incredibly fit. Percy can appreciate empirical beauty, after all. If those lips were on a bloke he might've tried something by now.

4. Oliver Wood's Sister. Of course, she has a name—Mathilda, which is a bit quaint for Percy's taste—but for some reason he always thinks of her as Oliver Wood's Sister. She's built like Oliver, too, solid and broad-shouldered but not entirely unattractive, and she has the same bottomless wells for eyes as Oliver has. She's quieter than Oliver is, and doesn't bounce as much (well, her breasts bounce, but Percy tries not to look at those). Percy's never been entirely sure why he's a little attracted to her.

5. His brother's wife. He can't help it, all right? Being queer doesn't make you immune to Veela.