Entry tags:

character: neville, genre: gen, rating: pg

Five Times Neville Tried to Say I Love You (And One Time He Succeeded) (Neville, PG)
Title: Five Times Neville Tried to Say I Love You (And One Time He Succeeded)
Character: Neville
Rating: PG
Word Count: 683
Warnings: Character death. (Not Neville.)
Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR's.
Notes: Original prompt/title by mnemosyne_1 and posted to LJ on 4/24/07.


The train was leaving, sending up great exhalations of white smoke, and Neville worked the window down to hear the last of Gran's shouted exhortations. Her words were lost in the chug of the train wheels, the shriek of the whistle, and the clamour of the other students, and Neville wished Gran would have shouted Neville, remember I love you, as he'd heard that red-haired woman shouting to her children, so he could have shouted it back.

*

Neville thought that a toad was a perfectly fine pet, no matter how much that silly Lavender Brown had squealed when Trevor had accidentally landed in her lap. He sat alone in the high-backed armchair nearest the fire after the girls had left and consoled Trevor, telling him that it absolutely was not true that he was, as Lavender had screamed, a disgusting creature. Neville stroked the flat bit between Trevor's eyes and he was just about to tell the toad he loved him when the portrait swung open and Harry and Ron collapsed into the common room, laughing so hard they were choking. Neville stayed quiet and sank deeper into his chair, still stroking his beloved pet's head.

*

Neville was scared as hell and trying desperately not to tremble as they made their way down the corridor towards certain terror and possible death. He wanted to tell his friends that he loved them, but each of them looked so resolute, five chins jutting determinedly ahead, that he closed his mouth before he'd fully opened it, unable to bear the thought of breaking the silent wall of concentration. Instead, he gripped his wand more tightly as they approached the door Harry had seen so many times in his dreams.

*

The near-incident in the pub was all Seamus's fault, really. Neville hadn't wanted to go out, then hadn't wanted to drink whisky, and he certainly hadn't wanted to stay once he'd caught sight of a head of blonde hair belonging to a certain out-of-his-league someone. But Seamus had insisted Neville go talk to her, court her, profess his undying love for her, and since Neville had a belly full of courage, and since Seamus was the sort of bloke who could make a fellow believe in undying love, Neville tottered across the pub towards his destiny. As he approached, she spotted him and waved and smiled, and though he was certain he was blushing terribly, he waved and smiled back, but he faltered and gripped the edge of the bar hard when she turned to the gigantic man next to her, put her arm around his waist, held out her sparkling left hand and introduced Neville to her fiancé, Mike.

*

At Ron's wedding, Neville had a whole speech prepared, but he lost the paper, then he lost his nerve, along with any improvisational skills he had ever possessed. And so instead of giving the speech he'd slaved over, in which he'd assured the bride and groom of his love for them both individually and as a couple, and, incredibly eloquently, wished them a happy and prosperous future together, he didn't speak at all. He just shook Ron's hand and pulled him into a hug and slapped him on the back a few times, all the while choking himself trying not to cry.

*

(epilogue)

Neville dropped his fistful of dirt on the coffin from an unshaking hand, biting his lip and looking straight ahead. The earth made a hollow, clunking sound against the oak, and Neville's heart gave a sickly leap in his chest. He raised his eyes then, to the sky, and brushed his hand against his dress robes. A vulture flew from one tree into another, and Neville thought he'd be sick. He blinked and looked again—it was only a crow.

"I love you," Neville whispered, still looking at the rumpled crow. He crouched by the grave and tore up a fistful of grass, then dropped it onto the coffin.

He didn't hear it hit.

"I love you, Gran," he said, louder this time.

Above him, the crow took flight.