Title: Dominic's Confession Author: Escapist_Art Pairing: DM/unnamed man, unnamed woman Rating: NC17 Word Count: 723 Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't know Dominic Monaghan. This is a fictional tale only meant for entertainment purposes. None of this is fact, and though the characters may be based on real people, this story is in no way a reflection of their true characters or lives. Summary: Dom journals about an encounter he regrets. Warnings: Violence, BDSM, angst, infidelity Author's Notes: Dominic is agnostic.
I really hate myself right now. Everything, I had it all, and I threw it away for a quick shag. Fuck. What is wrong with me? No, don't tell me. I can't. I just can't. How could I do that to her? How could I hurt someone I love like that?
All night long I've been lying on the floor in Jack's room, in Billy's big, empty house, and remembering everything. God. We had so many beautiful times together. She was there for me through so much, and this is how I repay her? Some bloke I know shoves me up against a door and I can't keep my trousers on? This is my gratitude? I'm such a fucking arsehole sometimes.
It was this bloke I used to know in Manchester, well, still knew obviously. He was in New York to do a play. She was doing interviews and such all day, and I had some free time, so I gave him a call. I sort of had a crush on him back then. He's cute, and muscular, and taller. We were just playing video games. It's not like I meant for anything to happen. Then he started kissing me, and I went to leave when he didn't stop because I knew I was enjoying it too much. I really meant to leave. I did. My hand was on the doorknob. But then he grabbed me, slammed me back against the door and kissed me, and, I don't know. I had that surge of hormones and I didn't.
Then he wasn't just kissing me, he was grinding his hard cock against mine, and tugging my shirt up, and off. I think...I think my brain just shut off. No, I knew I shouldn't let him do that, that I should push him off of me and get out of there. And God, I knew she would be upset with me, but I didn't do anything to stop it, and I still kissed him back, and arched up into his touch. Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I fucking stop it? Then he was undoing my trousers and wrapping his hand around my cock, he even used it to steer me over to the couch while he kept kissing me.
He turned me and shoved my trousers down, and pushed me over the arm of the couch. It must have been planned on his part because he had lube and a condom. Bloody bastard lubed me and stretched me while he held me by the hair. Let me watch as he stood to the side and rolled the condom onto his big, fucking prick. I should have said no. Then he was pushing into me, and I cried out because it was too big, and it fucking hurt. But after a bit it stopped hurting, and I was pushing back onto him, and it felt so fucking good. His hand wrapped my cock and started pulling at me while he fucked me. Thrusting so hard that I was coming up on my toes, and it felt bad in a good way, or good in a bad way. I don't know.
He came fast, before me, but wanked me until I came. It wasn't really good, not really. I could have lived my whole life very happily without ever having been fucked by him. God, I wish to hell I hadn't let it happen. I don't know how long it lasted, but it was just a few minutes. It all happened so quickly that it felt like my brain couldn't keep up with it. A few minutes and it destroyed our life, destroyed the one I love. I don't know why I did it. Just. Fuck.
Of course I told her as soon as we got home. I just had to, I couldn't keep it from her. A lie is worse than cheating, in my eyes anyway. It would be cowardly not to tell her and I don't want to be that man. She stormed to the bedroom and packed a suitcase for me, then tossed it toward me and told me to get out. The guilt was so intense that I didn't even argue, I just left. I don't blame her for wanting rid of me. Maybe I never deserved her to begin with.