spike ♘ i hang my coat up in the first bar (railroads) wrote in dust_till_dawn, @ 2009-06-09 19:43:00 |
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The ashes of his cigarette crumbled off without much of a fight when the wind blew in. It wasn't something necessary to Spike whether or not the cherry would die out if the breeze continued just as long as he knew he still had the less than heavy weight of the pack in his pocket waiting for back-up. There wasn't much to do these days, at least for him there wasn't. He wasn't dealing with the aftermath of the shit storm Angelus had brought up when he decided whatever he'd decided to make him get right back on the 'Let's fuck with the slayer's mind' pony. He could listen and be the shoulder to cry on without as much as copping a much needed feel because he knew which hands go where at what times. Even though there was the thought that he could get Buffy's bra off without her noticing half way through another 'speech' of how Peaches had burnt her so bad...again. He wasn't even doling up what would happen if he went to pay the now ensouled Angel a visit. He'd imagine the brooding would be enough to rip his own soul right out of him without even trying. Just so he could bash someone's brains in. He didn't need that gone anyway. He was pretty sure he'd buck up and deal with the whining mating sounds of the less than amusing Angel.
He always did wonder when the time would arrive that he was no longer pining over a woman. Even in his youth and in his humanity, he would long never to be alone and when he finally received that wish he was gifted with Drusilla. No matter how bonkers she had the tendency of being when it came to the state of mind she had. Dru? Drusilla may have been a little off the wall, but who in Spike's life wasn't? Buffy even had the tendency of acting like she was crazy, not to the extent Dru had been but he was sure if she spent a little more time with Angelus rather than Angel she would be in the same boat as the late vampire who had been staked by the very man she had picked up out of the hole he lingered on in. If it hadn't been for Dru, he would be dead. Of old age, of a pitiful reminder of humanity that had been the wannabe poet who wanted nothing better but to woo a woman with his words rather than dashing good looks or how much money was in his family name. He was only unsuccessful in that he could not keep a woman based on his appearance or standing but based on him. It was like asking a teenaged girl to deny some Hollywood A-lister to not take her virginity. An impossibility if the situation would have arrived.
Spike felt no need to hurry his 'walk' through the cemetery as much as he probably could have. Or should have depending on the obituaries that he had read during the week of what was happening in the city of Cleveland that did have more people to pick off more than Sunnydale which had limited resources. The powers of "good" could not cover everywhere in town, especially since they were all too preoccupied with their own lives. The occurrences of the good old days when patrolling was done in numbers and they weren't too preoccupied with the damned Winchesters to think inside their own little box of social confides would make for the 'Scooby gang' to be more closer than ever if they so deemed for that to happen. But no moves were made in the least bit. He could exploit everything when it came to them but he decided not too out of respect for Buffy and little bit. But were they really people he was going to continuously align himself with when they would rather spend time dating rather than dealing with the countless growing numbers of demons and the vampires that were crawling over their new fair city. If anything, felt alone in his fight to make sure that the numbers didn't start getting out of control.
Oddly enough, he didn't know where he got the sense of entitlement when it came down to patrolling alone. When it came down to thinking that this was only a him thing to do. He had just enough ability to call on Buffy and the others; try to get them even more involved than they actually were becoming. He knew it was all for the better when it came to him. He got moments to things all by his lonesome which made for an even more simple course of action in his head. He got to kill more things, he didn't feel any sense of impending doom doing so because he wasn't involved with the end of the world scenarios that they constantly had to deal with and he would no doubt be faced with the biggest dilemma of the evening which would not be whether calling so-and-so was going to annoy them but whether or not to use a stake or become more inventive and use something else out of no where. In the end, he would decide to go with the traditional way that ended a lot of vampires and even some people who decided to get on the end of the pointy end of a stick and a crazed slayer. He made no movements of offense or defense as he moved through the shadows that were cast both by the moonlight and the lamps scattered around the cemetery to light the way for any travelers along the way. The only ones that were there were the ones who didn't need a light to see in the darkness.
He claimed openly that he was not love's bitch anymore. He claimed that he'd pushed away from the loving binds that made him even more addicted than he claimed he was when it came to falling in love. Spike had become infatuated with the ex-slayer turned...whatever. He'd forgotten to keep tracks of what she truly was anymore by the fifth time he tried to have Dawn explain what was going on to him. He'd missed so much when it came to the 'gang'. He didn't know how come everything had become twisted in their lives and he didn't rightly give a shit if they decided what to do with any of the 'big bads' that inhabited Cleveland even though they weren't doing a bang up job at any of it. Their personal lives consumed their lives. They lost sight of everything that was supposed to be done and Spike wasn't going to say he was the best example right at the moment when it came to trying to find their way. He wasn't being some vigilante but at the very least he was attempting to make sure the numbers stayed down the best they could. He wasn't running around with some bloody cape, but he was being more proactive than most had been.
"Damn miracle the world hasn't ended yet." He grumbled to himself as he continued trudging through the cemetery, folding his arms in front of his chest with another low sigh leaving him before grabbing a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lighting up as he watched the smoke trail behind him like that of a train. He didn't even seem like his mind was all there as he stopped in front of one of those expensive appearing headstones, an angel praying with the name of a child who had passed on etched on it. Had he really given up his own 'second' life just so Buffy and the others could live their lives peacefully, though be it as Buffy would have staked him in a second if he hadn't. She was still someone who overlooked him just as anyone else. Spike didn't hold too many cards in the fact that he wouldn't have not just what he needed but what he truly believed would get him through life. Wasting it waiting to be called to the front lines like a dog or he could actually start to do something that didn't have him feeling like some lap dog.
He was not their convenience item to throw around. Spike had done more than his fair share of helping them; both parties but he had to be recognized as one of the individuals who were actually good. As less endearing as it sounded, he got more praise as a failed villain than he ever did as a successful hero. His decision practically made itself if it wasn't for anything that was shared between him and Buffy. Love? He knew better than to say she loved him with the amazing feeling she felt for Angel or...Sam. The two that could more than possibly touch her in ways that he could not. He was correct in assuming he was a convenience just as he was correct in assuming that be it as everything played out from Buffy sleeping with him to him finding himself trapped working for Angel. Nothing had gone right since they had come into his life. He'd nag and say it was all because of everyone that now surrounded him but that wasn't the truth. He did care about them, but it was a sympathy that was slowly losing its momentum as he went through his years on the Earth. If he survived another hundred or so years, would he do so just assisting the girls who came his way. Or would he do so with his own independent thought process. With himself, as both man and vampire intact.
He knew he could be more.
But he just hadn't been set on the right path until he'd come face-to-face...without weapons drawn with Justice. She certainly did give Faith a run for her money when it came to 'badass rebel slayers'. Faith didn't get as far as getting Angelus, nor did she get as far as to do whatever damage he knew she possibly did to Buffy. He was supposed to hate her for being the enemy but even than his focus was more on the fact that...she saw him. She didn't try to see the villain he was or the hero he was still attempting to be. She saw him. It freaked him out, needless to say. But it was the one thing that kept up the affirmation that he was love's bitch and that he would continue to be so as he finally felt the new weight of someone tackling him to the ground. Spike letting out a surprised, borderline annoyed growl before kicking the hefty man off of him and grabbing the stake he'd been carrying. All the while his mind wasn't focused on witty comments but of some woman that saw him. "Sad little King on his high horse. But the horse left the stable you see, and you lost your crown when your princess deceived you." She turned to Spike, touched his cheek, but her eyes seemed to look through him and right into his soul. "Don't you see...all there is left is sadness. No one to come save you." The very memory of the conversation made him want to rip someone to pieces with his bare hands. He'd never been one to be so easily read except by Lorne but that was cheating in that case.
Justice just seemed to know. Like minds, he ventured a guess before he kicked the other vampire in the stomach and watched it hit the ground as his buddies Tweedledee and Tweedledum came running around the corner before he did a forward roll towards the first vampire, slamming his stake home before glancing up at the other two with a dangerous snarl. Tweedledee was bigger than the other one, slower too regardless of the supernatural senses that should have kicked in as Spike threw a punch at him before getting yanked back by Tweedledum who wasn't dumb or slow at all. He didn't pay any heed to being slammed against a tree only that it was convenient as he snapped a twig from the bark and held both twig and stake in hand as he went for his attack. Slamming his arms against their upper bodies and watching as they hit the ground before reacting purely on instinct to drive both wooden objects into their chests and watching as they returned to 'dust' before standing up and brushing off his coat.
He was done with this. The hero deal wasn't his cup of tea anymore as he tossed the stick to the side and twisted the stake in his hand. "I got a girl to call." He smirked, tucking the stake out of sight and straightening his duster before starting out of the cemetery. He was tired of being plan b after all.